Does anyone here really care if they are "respected" by strippers?

JC: Just learn to let go already.

davids, just shut the fuck up. Nobody cares what you or RomanticLover think.

davids, as I have said many times, I think most of us will admit to wanting to fuck strippers, if it could be done with no consequences. As for the posts you constantly reference, I think you have an observational bias. You assume that anyone denying wanting to date strippers is in denial or lying, and that anyone who spends money on one particular stripper on a regular basis is being played. You therefore see what you look for. True, some guys get a little too into a particular stripper, but not all become PL's RIL's or ATM's. You equate any regular transfer of money as being played from what I've seen of your posts. It doesn't give us much credit for being able to exercise any discretion or having any skill at playing back (just by different methods than you advocate). I've read some of the same posts you reference, and don't see that most of the guys are asking how to date the stripper, or for long term emotional involvement. Most are saying something like is this stripper shit, or could I get some OTC? The few that mention an emotional involvement are along the lines of "I know this won't go anywhere, but..." Asking for advice about how to handle some of the side effects of our hobby is a big part of this board. You don't help when your only response is "I told you so you PL".

AN: Yeah, right. Watch this board for six months and see how many "how to let go?" "is the stripper really into me?" "was the stripper really into me?" "could the stripper have been into me if I had played my cards differently?" post we see. Talk to regulars in the field and strippers about their regulars, and see if many customers want date or fuck strippers.

davids, your theory that money spent = respect lost is a common theme in your posts. You also seem to conclude that the converse (no money spent = more respect) is true, but I would point oput that the logic does not follow even if the first were true. In any case, it still is not what this thread is about. Even if your theory about losing respect by spending money were objective truth, it doesn't matter to most of the people posting. Most of us have stated quite clearly that friendships and relationships aren't our goal in clubs, thus we don't care about the opinions of the strippers. There are the rare cases where a good ITC buisness relationship becomes an ITC or even OTC friendship, and in those limited cases where I genuinely start to like the girl, then of course I care what she thinks of me. It has hapened about 5 times over 10 years, so it isn't something I (or I would guess many of us on the board) actively seek.

Chandler, you should know by now that the davids/AN back and forth is rarely about anything more than mental masturbation.

AN: Maybe FONDL will conjecture we are the same person since we posted at nearly the same time?

I'd say that the "respect" that regulars believe their ATFs accord them is comparable to a stripper calling a customer her "friend" when what she means is her "club friend".

(This isn't in response to any of the AN/davids back-and-forth, whatever that's about.)

davids, I had posted my response to your 12:15 post, not the 12:35. If you notice we posted about the same time, and I had not yet read your subsequent post.

AN: huh?

I explained exactly when and why respect is important and when it isn't. Calm down, go back, read again.

As for the mileage thing: The question was who gets higher mileage regulars or big spenders. Yeah, I have no doubt that mileage will increase for regulars over time, but I have different ideas why (it's not the trust/father figure crap). In that thread I offered the opinion that a savy high roller will be able to get better mileage than regulars: from the very same girl.

Anyway, this thread is about respect not mileage. Regulars lose not gain respect by spending money.

davids, did you write a script to do your replies? They all seem the same, and rarely have anything to do with the question you are supposedly answering or post you are responding to. So in response to my last two posts stating that 1) Most of us don't care about what strippers think of us, but you seem to put a lot of importance on gaining their respect, and 2) that despite what you cite as objective truth, many here find that developing long term ITC buisness relationships with strippers does increase mileage, you once again respond that we are all in denial. Exactly what does that, or your pervious post have to do with this thread? Is it important to you that strippers respect you? Most of us say no. You haven't answered, but your statements strongly imply that your answer would be yes. Am I correct in this assumption?

AN: I don't think you can conclude that from my first post here, but here's the deal:

Respect is important for establishing friendships. Friendships or even respect w/o friendship build "social proof" within the social system, thus making it easier to make new friends. According to theory with enough social proof it should then be easier to date the girl you want (haven't got to that point yet though: hey, I'm new to all this). So respect matters in that sense. Also I would prefer to have someone respect me then not respect me given the social implications.

HOWEVER, I am not going to work on winning respect UNLESS it is someone I genuinely want to be friends with anyway. If respect happens as a likely side effect with the others then fine, otherwise it's not something worth worrying about.

AN: You mean the experienced club goers who deny that they want to date strippers and then post "is the stripper really into me?" "how to let go?" as soon as the hint of the possibility arises. I think such men are seriously out of tune with reality.

So davids, I assume that your post means that what a stripper thinks of you IS important to you. Most of the guys here don't feel that way, except in the rare situations where we find a good dancer we like.

I would also note that your objective reality seems to be in some dispute with the objective experiences of some very experienced clubbers here.

I don't care if the dancer respects me or not, as long as she is courteous. If she then goes back into the dressing room, and tells all the other dancers about that loser who just got a dance from her, I really don't care, as long as it doesn't affect any dances I get from her colleagues. I'm not interested in her respect, admiration, affection, awe, etc. I just want a hot young girl's naked body rubbed all over me. End of analysis. Q.E.D.

Fun, beer and sex with hot women is the only motivation this one needs.

Well I guess strip clubs are all about fantasy, so people are entitled to fantasize that being a regular is going to increase the amount of respect you get. In objective reality it is going to lower it.

I don't care about earning their respect. I do my bit to promote courtesy by not spending my money on discourteous strippers.

I disagree that being a stripper's regular makes much difference. She may still be pretending to respect you without you knowing the difference, no matter how close you may feel you've become. I've heard too many strippers talk shit about their regulars. It shouldn't matter anyway, because spending a lot of time and money with a stripper in a club doesn't mean that she knows you well enough.

I couldn't have said it better. I've run into many dancers over the years who obviously held little or no regard for their custmers-since I wasn't one of their customers I never let it bother me. The only dancer's who's opinions I care about are the one's that are my regulars. I don't BS my favs about money or what I expect from my ITC or OTC experiences. I respect their time and their efforts to earn a living and in turn they respect me and appreciate my business, and my honesty.

I agree with you both. As I've said about a hundred times before, the only thing that matters to me in the club is how she treats me. I could care less what goes on between her ears. Only if and when we start heading down the OTC friendship path does that change, and that doesn't happen very often.