A Self-Righteous Question

jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
This was the question sent to an advice columnist:

"I found a wallet at the train station. It was next to a can of bourbon and had $150 and a strip-club card inside. I looked up the person on Facebook and all his "likes" are porn. I decided to give the money to charity and give the wallet to the police. Am I an elitist snob? "

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/modern-g…

The question, I think, should have been "Am I a thief?" And the answer should have been "Yes."

If I were to find a wallet whose owner opposed abortion and the teaching of evolution, I would have the duty to return the wallet with the money. If I gave the money to Planned Parenthood or to evolution education, I would be a thief.

Why don't the self-righteous ever question their own motives or actions?

23 comments

Latest

tumblingdice
11 years ago
You're not a snob.You're a modern day Robin Hood.It would be like me finding Bonerbreath's purse,I would give the money to the United Negroe Fund.
motorhead
11 years ago
He had $150 left after a strip club visit?

More self-restraint than I have.
Dougster
11 years ago
I agree it's theft, even if you are doing it for the greater good of the world.

The questions pretty easy for this amount, but I think it gets interesting for larger sums and comes down to utilitarianism versus "rights". Maybe I'll pose the more interesting variants later on depending how this thread goes.
Ermita_Nights
11 years ago
Motor, maybe he was on his way to the strip club. Quite a surprise after that VIP session when it's time to pay and he discovers his wallet, with cash and ATM card, has been stolen.

The part that caught my eye is the "can of bourbon." Where do you buy bourbon in cans??
Lone_Wolf
11 years ago
It would be interesting to know the vices of the person that found the wallet. Glass house.
zipman68
11 years ago
You buy cans of bourbon at the bourbon cannery. Sheesh...

Srsly tho I bet that be groovy bourbon
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Too many people seem to be of the return the wallet, keep the cash mentality. In my opinion, too many people also seek a reward for doing the "right" thing. Not to sound self-righteous but I was taught that the reward was doing the right thing. You did your duty and fullfiled your obligation to your fellow man.
motorhead
11 years ago
I've never lost my keys or my wallet.

I dropped my keys down the elevator shaft in my college dorm after a night of drinking - but that's another story. The maintenance man recovered them on Monday for me.
Alucard
11 years ago
The person is a thief.
SlickSpic
11 years ago
@Moto-While working at a customers house, I accidentally dropped my keys into the sewer. I had to lift up the manhole cover, climb on down, and fish my keys out of the algae. Pretty mucky.
SuperDude
11 years ago
Found a wallet, dropped next to an ATM. Went to post office and, using the driver's license info, mailed it to the owner. Credit cards and cash remained in the wallet.
sharkhunter
11 years ago
Good for you Superdude.

Taking something that isn't yours is theft. What you do with your stolen money or possessions is up to your own guilty conscience. If you think you did right by donating your stolen money, it still doesn't take away the fact you committed a crime and are a criminal. Whether you get caught and prosecuted or you lied about it and got away with the crime are different matters. In the end I do believe everyone will answer for every deed they did on judgement day.
SlickSpic
11 years ago
+100 for Superdude.
sharkhunter
11 years ago
Here is what the column could have written. Imagine a guy who has been working two jobs to make ends meet. He saved up $150 after working hard all year and also bought a bottle of bourbon and planned to give it to his daughter for her wedding. His Facebook account had been hacked two years ago and he was a victim of identity theft. He didn't have time to sort through all the identity thieves and find the latest message from his family. He was very tired from working 80 hours a week with very little sleep and received an emergency phone call and ran back home because family came first. He suddenly remembered he left his wallet and gift when he panicked. It was gone when he came back. He could have really used that money for the gift he planned. The strip card he didn't know what to do with. Someone tipped him by giving him the useless card instead of giving him cash. He had been hoping to pawn it for a couple dollars at the pawn shop since he didn't know anyone rich enough to visit the strip club. Yep, you did the right thing taking his money, not.
gawker
11 years ago
There was a recent case in Boston where a homeless man found an envelope containing $7000 in cash and checks. He turned it in to police who returned it to the rightful owner. When the story hit the news, someone started a fund to reward the guy and he ended up with over $100,000 in donations. Just rewards.
jester214
11 years ago
I hope I would give it back.

How bout a wallet full of cash with no ID or cards?
mjx01
11 years ago
Thief. Giving the money to charity doesn't change the unlawful taking.
motorhead
11 years ago
If the answers given in this thread demonstrate that most people are basically honest, how do you explain strippers?
gatorfan
11 years ago
Someone else stole the wallet and lost it with the $150.
zipman68
11 years ago
Mo-head asks a good question...I think most people are basically honest in the right circumstances. For the wallet example, dude was a dick. If the situation had been reversed (porn and SC lovin' dude found his wallet, donated cash to single moms with the provision that the show him their tits) the dude would be incensed.

But strippers have two or three things going on:

1. They are saleswomen. Everybody stretches the truth when selling something.
2. They are marginalized and looked down upon. Easy to say "fuck you, I'll take what I can beg, borrow, or steal" if others treat you disrespectfully.
3. Many have addictions to feed. Addictions will make people crazy...make honest people cheat and steal.
4oureyes
11 years ago
I lost a wallet in a strip club a couple of years ago. I went right back in and the manager and the girl I'd been with helped me look. No luck. Took considerable talking to get the hotel to let me back into my hotel room, since the hotel keycard was in the wallet.

I hadn't noticed it falling out of my pocket during the visit itself since it's my practice to pay for dances and tips from cash I set aside in a different pocket.

The next day I went back and the manager had it waiting for me. A customer had turned it in. All intact, money and cards. The credit cards had already been canceled by that time, but I did get them back.
deogol
11 years ago
Yea, I have lost things in a club and they were always returned to me. Maybe the people in the club were more honest than most think. Maybe I am scary. Who knows?
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