To club or not to club

Most civis that I’ve dated were not ok w/ me SCing.

But dancers of course are more aware about what goes on or doesn’t go on in SCs – i.e. they are aware that SCing does not necessarily mean screwing around and if the guy wants to screw around he can do it w/o going to the SC.

I can see a dancer being ok with their S.O. SCing; but in the end is up to the 2 specific individuals involved.

She (dancer) is not able to be exclusive to you per se b/c of the nature of her job – so it may be more of an even playing field if both parties partake.

At the club I work, if a dancers starts dating a custie outside the club as BF/GF, the custie is no longer allowed in the club on nights she works. The reason is because we don't want drama from a dancer getting jealous of her BF getting dances or tipping and we don't want custies getting all amped up about their GF grinding on other guys. While most guys who are regular posters on here would understand the business, civvies are idiots when it comes to that.

Let me get this straight, you met your GF at a strip club where she dances, and now you're jealous because she still dances there. You knew what she did before you started seeing her, and you were OK with it, but now you're not? Hypocrite.

I've seen several dancers say they were gonna quit because their BF who they met at the club is not happy with them dancing.

Papi: yeah I think her unique perspective will be possible that she would be okay with me still clubbing.

sooner:hmmm..no I am not saying that at all.. I love that she is a good dancer and I am never possesive of her at work. I am wondering if it is okay for me to still go to strip clubs if I am seeing her/have a gf. She says its ok that I do, but I worry it will cause issues if I do..

If you still want to club – then do it – and if it becomes an issue – then you either stop if you want to or give her up in place of clubbing.

If you were dating someone who worked at Domino's Pizza, would you feel bad eating at Little Caesars? How bout Papa Johns? You might have met this someone at Domino's but does that mean that you can only eat Domino's? You love pizza and love trying different slices of pie. You are by no means relegated to only eating at her Domino's. I say, go out and eat some pizza.

SlickSpic ... Totally agree with your analogy .. You can dine elsewhere you just have to be on your best behavior when dining at her establishment so as not to reflect poorly on her

Maintain FIDELITY!

If dancer A at club A is my whore I meet OTC I try to avoid fucking girls from club A.

However if club A is an extras club I have fucked dancers B,C,D in VIP or CR when dancer A was not working. Gave into the temptation for variety. Also dancer A was engaged (now is married ano longer dances but I am still fucking her).

@curiousity - I wasn't referring to you when I said "you" in my last post. I was making an analogy of what some guys do when they get a dancer for a GF. My post had nothing to do with you, man. I can see how reading it might make you think I was talking to you directly, but instead I was trying to point out the hypocrisy with some PLs regarding their thoughts on dancer GFs. Sorry for the confusion.

I am am currently dating an ex dancer. She stopped dancing about a month after we started dating. My advice is do NOT go to her club at all. My gf said she was fine if I did but it did not turn out that way. One night when she was working her new job I went in to her old club. Before I got home she had been called and told everything I did that night. She said she felt disrespected because now her old friends were talking about giving dances to her boyfriend and they completely exaggerated what went on in the club. We had huge fights over it. So don't do it if you want to keep her.

"She says she is okay with me going "

When a woman says this, she means "if you loved me you wouldn't go and if you do go you'll be in big trouble."

@Jack-You're right on the money. It's like my childhood. When Mom said maybe, she meant no.

Girls of all sorts are fickle wigh their feelings and meaning. When she says she doesn't mind, that means she does. And there is no reverse because no means no and yes means no. Doesn't make sense? I understand your pain. Personally as a lucky man that you are to be dating a stripper (she gotta be hot no doubt) if you really think she is cool and want more than just a fuck buddy, quit going to STRIP clubs...at least until you two are done dating. You need to be trustworthy and keep up to date at where she dances. If she leaves her current club, don't go right to it because she will have friends there on the lookout. Plus when you do break up you can't ever go to any club she works at because its awkward.

Besides you get free snatch compared to paid snatch. Do you really need clubs currently?

Slick that wasn't your best analogy. Your comparing food to sexual activities. And she doesn't even make the food. Totally not comparable.

Food and sex are very comparable. Both are commodities. What wasn't made clear was if it was ok for Ms. Curiosity to venture to clubs where her SO didn't work.

I rarely go into my gf's club.The only times I do go in is with her for their anniversary or holiday parties or when she totally shits the bed in civvie life and the latter being to impose a tariff or embargo on her day,the only way to grab her short attention span is to dent her pocketbook and let her know she screwed the pooch.It's funny,she sees me,knows she was a bad girl,runs into the managers office,he comes out laughing,says,"Dice you know the deal,gotta go",and as he walks me to the door he asks me,"What did she do this time".

As far as clubbing goes,yeah I do it.I go to the sister club of the one she dances at,which is not to far away.I never hide the fact that I go,which makes for some interesting dinner conversation.Whenever she gets in my face for it I'm like ,"Really,go take a look in that mirror over there".

@soonersam: thanks for the clarification. Cant believe that they would meet someone in a club and think that way. Jealousy is a powerful thing though.
@slick:your analogy is great, but perhaps I wont 'eat' the other pizza, just look at it to stay out of trouble heh.
@jackslash: that is kind of what I am afraid of. I think she is more comfortsble me going to her club so she can keep an eye on me. I don't want to go to her club because then they label me as hers and its not the same experience. I was going to go to a different one and told her about my plans and she asked to go. Which was fun, but couldn't tell if there was an ulterior motive.
@estafador:free snatch is good. Good point, it does make me decide whether looking is worth possibly losing it.
@tumbling:when she does get in your face for it, what is her reasoning?

okay all in all it sounds like I should go if I want to go and if it causes a problem then I have to decide whether to keep clubbing or keep the girlfriend. I think for now while things are good I'll lay low until I absolutely get the urge to go and just be honest and see what happens.

Reasoning!?Did you say reasoning?There's no reasoning with her.Her lame point is that it is her source of income and only my hobby.

I've only dated one guy who went to strip clubs... I would never have told him not to go. I'm not his mama. If it had bothered me, I would have just dumped him. But it didn't. He went to the same club with a group of his co-workers. He got dances now and then. I never asked him about this, but I knew some of the dancers who worked at the club he went to and they would inform me of his every moment, unsolicited. Some of them were horrified that he was getting dances and I didn't care.

If he were going into a club, on his own, seeing the same girls and spending a lot if time there, I would not be down. Again, I wouldn't tell him what to do. If just walk away. And I wouldn't think he's a bad guy for hitting the club solo or anything. After so many years in clubs, I'm just turned off by guys who invest more than a very casual interest in strippers.

"After so many years in clubs, I'm just turned off by guys who invest more than a very casual interest in strippers."

Why? The only people who never have long periods between relationships are the ones who A) start fucking the next "SO" while they're still fucking the current "SO". B) have an easy time finding someone compatible because there is little to nothing unique about them. It's a pretty small minority of guys who can reliably find someone to hook up with whenever they're horny, unless they're the anything on two legs type. What is wrong with an uncommitted guy making his balls a little less blue and a stripper's wallet a little more full? Do you prefer the kind of guy who pretends to be serious so he can fuck a girl until she figures out he'll never really commit to her? I always try to be polite and considerate to everyone, stripper or not. I get lap dances for the natural high of sexual arousal, period. If you feel like all custies are the mac daddy wannabe type, trying to lord over the dancers, you really need to find a way to get out of dancing. You're putting yourself at risk of depression or some other mental illness.

Hmmm. Maybe I didn't explain that well. First of all, I love my job!! I'm a very happy stripper. Have been for a long time. Love dancing. Love my co-workers. Love nightlife in general.... And I don't judge or dislike my customers, aside from the occasional a-hole.. I appreciate my customers. I need them. They make my life possible!

I'm just not attracted to men who feel like they need to pay for female attention. Not all guys pay for sexual services, whether that be a lapdance or a blow job or whatever. I want a guy who knows that he can get women based on his personality, not his checking account. I don't want to be with a guy who lies to get into someone's pants. But I don't think liar and strip club junkie are my only 2 choices.

Some guys are smooth, cool and hot enough to get women to fuck them without lies or $. I have no ambitions of being in a serious relationship until I'm done stripping. I just don't think it works, don't think it's fair and don't want to deal with it. So, for now I just date or develop "friends with benefits" situations. The point is, lying and pretending to be in live with me or something would not work on me. Not what I'm looking for. Just looking for someone cool to spend time with and have fun with.

I feel like a lot of guys in the club just lack confidence. I see SO many SC guys who could totally go to a regular club and find someone to play with without cash being exchanged. But they are scared of rejection and want to go to the SC because they know its a sure bet. Again, these are big generalizations. But, I'm attracted to extremely masculine, ambitions, dominant men who aren't afraid to go after what they want. At the club, I'm always around guys who are begging and pleading for me to do x, y or z. I feel like the dude. I feel like I'm surrounded by neediness. In my personal life, I want to be the girl. I want to get to be submissive and feminine. With customers I can't do that because I am always saying no to something.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with getting a lapdance, obviously. I just like a very specific type of man. And he doesn't chase tail. Tail chases him.

Well maybe KK. My guess is that a lot of these guys that you think can get as much sex as they want for free actually just don't have the money to be regular strip club patrons. Guys your age normally want sex at least 5 times a week. Even guys over 40 typically want it at least 3 times a week.

I'm sure most guys want sex 5 times a week. Do you buy a girl 5 times a week? I'm guessing no. The last guy I dated worked on Wall Street and was obsessed with his career. He worked crazy hours and traveled constantly. I'm sure he would have liked constant sex, but he was able to cope somehow without it. He had been in a middle eastern country for 2 months when I met him and had not gotten laid that entire time because the girls where he was at would not fuck a foreigner. He was also a pussy snob. I had a hard time getting his attention. The guy was gorgeous, always well dressed, very intelligent... He had a lot of girls poking around. He was also paranoid about fucking because he'd been sperm jacked, in the past.

Not all the guys I've dated had that kind of $, though. You are right. Some of them could not afford to pay for pussy 5 times a week. But they wouldn't pay for pussy period. Their egos wouldn't allow it. But, I tend to date guys who are well off. I don't care about money. I really don't. I do like guys who are crazy ambitious and those types of guys tend to have good careers.

Now, when I was 18-22ish, I dated some real losers. I was still looking for that powerful, alpha male type but I was too young to be able to tell the difference between alpha and asshole. During those years I dated some controlling, angry, idiots. But, I've learned..

Again, I'm not saying anything bad about guys who get lapdances on the regular. I think it's understandable why I might not be attracted to a guy with that particular hobby. I'm also not attracted to guys who are into rodeos or Star Trek or who are Asian or short.... None of those guys are bad. They just aren't the type to get me going.

KK I'm not taking any of this personally. I don't want to be dominated nor dominate. I find in relationships (even hook ups) there are things the other person wants that mean a lot to them and are easy to give. But it's hard to find out what those things are if they are being submissive.

That seems very silly to me that someone would be too proud to go out and get a lapdance if they were feeling horny and did not have "free" sex available. But whatever, even though it's silly for Alexis Texas to have an ass big enough to damn a small river, I still think she's sexy.

I am in my early 50s. Currently I'm seeing someone about 3 afternoons a month, $500 each time. I would like to see her (or someone equally beautiful) for an hour at least 3 times a week, but I can't afford it.

I know. I'm kinda weird. I like cocky freaks, I guess. I think because I have to be so bossy and controlling at work, it's fun to be on the other side of things in my personal life. It's possible that I try to overcompensate because of my job, too. I go to fairly extreme lengths to please the men I date, possibly because I do feel a little bad that I sell my body, for a living (I don't feel guilty about what I do, but I do worry that my work might make others uncomfortable--which is why I don't do serious relationships, as states above.) Maybe my tastes will change when I get out of the industry.

Do you ever date women closer to your age, or is that not your thing? I get it, if its not. Do you like the no strings aspect of paying for sex? Or would you prefer a GF or a friends with benefits situation?

I don't want to get too auto-biographical. Let's just say I have more baggage than a small regional airline. I am very unattractive physically, but not attracted to women unless they are good looking. There are women my age who are good looking, but not that many. I think the world is a pretty awful place, I don't understand how people can want to have kids or do anything other than live for today. Not a popular outlook with 99.999% of women, so FWB would probably work best for me, but it's all hypothetical.

Fuck all the cocky freaks you want if that's what gets you off. Just don't marry or otherwise get your finances tangled up with them. You should be able to eventually find a controlling guy who will pressure you to say what you want, instead of pressuring you to like what he thinks you should like. If not, it could be you are punishing yourself for something, and you have to try and get past that.

^^^^Due for rewiring 10/14/2013

Men and women are different as we all know and thus we view many things differently including sex.

A woman such as KK stating she does not understand why a guy that can score outside of a SC would choose to still go to a SC – well such a woman cannot understand b/c she is not a man.

As I heard a comedian say once:

“A woman looks for the ONE guy to satisfy ALL her needs – a man looks for ALL women to satisfy his ONE need”

As was stated in a previous post; very few men, if any, can get sex when they want from whomever he wants – and most men would like to get sex from whom they want when they want – thus a SC will often satisfy this natural urge/desire.

Plus – for most guys – even the semi good looking ones – you are still paying for sex if you are looking to date/get-laid – one often needs to wine; dine; and impress a female before you have the hopes that she will give you anything – and along with cuchie often comes drama or you having to give other things other than your $$$ (time; doing shit w/ her you don’t want/like to do; etc.) – SCs offer what you want/need often w/o strings attached – and that by itself is often preferable to “dating” especially as one gets older and does’ not want to deal w/ drama/shit.

Bro ive been dating dancers for years now....never club at her club and never let her know about other clubs you've clubbed at but that is if you want the relationship to last a few years

12 AM on the way to the club
1 AM DJ made it a rub
2 AM now I'm gettin with her
3 AM now I'm splittin with her
4 AM at the waffle house
5 AM now we at my house
6 AM I be diggin her out
6:15 I be kickin her out

Last sex buddy I had never bought me dinner, a drink or anything. The first time we meet, he came to my place, watched half a movie and then we fucked for hours. Since I worked nights, he's usually swing by for sex about twice a week. Maybe 3 times. It was always after work. He'd only spend the night if he'd been drinking. We did this for a little over 2 years...? One time he did bring me Taco Bell. Does that count as dinner?

So not all ladies need to be wined and dined. Some just want to have a good time with as little drama as possible. Might be good to keep a slightly open mind about the opposite sex.... You might find something fun!

Actually I take that all back. Go to the strip clubs. Buy dances. The only girls worth messing with are strippers.
; )

@Papi she likes guys with swagger (very common for women). Guys with even a little swagger will at least claim they never pay for sex. Since you and I can find attractive a women whose boobs and/or ass are so big she might medically be obese, we just look foolish telling KK it's not logical to be turned on by swagger.

Funny how women begged and bitched and pleaded to have equal rights but yet thsy STILL want to be submissive and let the big tough guy be in control. Yeah you don't want equal rights.

Paying for sex is what separates the old from the young. GOO FREE SEX WOOHOO

Kttykate: Every am pays for sex, and every smart woman accepts that payment. He might pay by treating her like a princess, or by marrying her and giving her the security and family she wants, or by giving her such good sex that she actually gets off on a reuse basis instead of faking it, or more directly with gifts or money, or some combination of these and more.

Just because no actual money is changing hands doesn't mean there isn't a trade going on.

And for the record, there is absolutely nothing wrong or immoral about that trade, whatever is traded. It's when there is no equitable trade going on that the trouble occurs.

Guys, this is why we can't have nice strippers on our website. You are not paying attention to what she's writing. She made it clear she doesn't think hot, cocky guys who are too proud to pay for it are BETTER than us, just SEXIER than us. She even calls them cocky "freaks". Do you get a stiffy thinking about Mother Teresa cause she's was such a kind, generous, wonderful human being? No? Then get off KK's case already. Cause you're being a hypocrite.

So KK, what about cocky guys who go to hip-hop strip clubs and never buy a dance but throw money on the dancers' twerking butts. Hot or not?