How to be fly at the club?

avatar for Estafador
Estafador
BIG APPLE
So we've all talked about how its not what you wear its how much money you have while others said its a combination of the two. While I was leaning on combination, a good looking hole in the wall suit store may alwo get the biddies as well (at least until you get the gossip girl who realizes its cheap and your more than likely broke then you get no girl). So I eventually just thought of a good humorous idea/experiment that can put this to the test. I am gonna one day soon, go out of my way and go to cheap hole in the wall storea and buy the following:

Plain Tee-shirt that's 3-5x bigger than my size (possibly a colored one to stand out, non gang affiliated of course)
JEANS that's fitted baggy (loose) and 3x my size boot cut for extra baggy look (probably one of those jeans with the back pockets having flared out designs)
Probably some black sneakers (these will be regular size for me) from payless or some other outstanding color. I was thinking Champions but maybe some Shaqs for the added effect.

A blinged out huge FAKE chain, made of some fake silver or gold with cheap rhinestone in it for the blingy effect. Don't worry, I will wrap paper towel or some other cloth around my neck so my skin won't turn green


Now my beef is where to get a cheap fake imitation deaigner watch from to finish off the effect. I'd say canal street (those from New York know what its like over there) but I fear theh may try to overprice me for something imitation (once intentionally bought a fake geneva watch for the sole purpose of time tracking dor the job and had to talk the merchant to five bucks because he though I was stupid).

Any thoughts of places online or I. NY to buy it. Same with the chain. Or should I buy a U.S. Polo Association watch and try to be cool with that.

Now as you can see all this crap is relatively cheap thus I'm trying to keep my budget for this project to $12 but I fear it might raise to $20. So my fellow mongerers what do you think about this. And yes I will be definitely acting like a douche in the club. And I will make sure this isn't a frequent club I visit and that I find a girl to be my private confidan (sp?) to give me the gossip results of my actions.

Thoughts?

16 comments

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avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
Better check the club dress code. Follies wouldn't let you in. I've thought about wearing a suit just to see if anybody would recognize me. :)
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
11 years ago
Your right bro. I have realized my options are limited but the funny thing is that I lot of NYC clubs are lax. Just no hats and shorts. Still planning on a cheaper club
avatar for minnow
minnow
11 years ago
E- I eagerly await a writeup (review, article) from you on such an escapade. But, lets not forget the cologne. Walmart has a ready supply of Joop, and Drakaar Noir just for you.
avatar for goodsouthernboy
goodsouthernboy
11 years ago
I think we need a picture of the costume for added effect. Feel free to blur your face if you'd like tho
avatar for Clackport
Clackport
11 years ago
Haha Esta I would pay to see that bro. I usually just wear dress pants and a polo shirt. I gotta keep it fly for the ladies.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
11 years ago
Dancers don't like to grind on JEANS. Or so I've been told by dancers.
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
11 years ago
May be you should ask on stripperweb. You will get a lot of flames, but probably a few will give you honest advice.

Women seem to like guys who are right on the line between swagger and obnoxious. Problem is, each of them has a little different idea of where the line is.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
11 years ago
No shorts allowed in some New York clubs? I'd have to find a new hobby. It's too hot not to wear shorts in the summer.
Plus I like seeing some of the female customers in shorts.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
11 years ago
I see people wearing shorts to church. Fortunately I don't know of any club with such a restriction.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
11 years ago
I will definitely take a picture of the costume boys. Just talked to a few people and found a place that sells fake jewelry very bling, very big and very flashy. Expect it sometime next week. Now I also thinking about a few other things I should wear to the club. Is it overkill if I wear a bandana? (Black for neutral don't need to be a 2AMer). And in regards to hos I portray the attitude, was thinking if it was going overboard to portray the douche pervert or just try to pretend to have a faux silver tongue?

@sharkhunter, yeabh well new york sucks doesn't it? Be glad there are SOME clubs that let you wear shorts. But in this case it wouldn't pull the ghetto 80's gangsta look.

@Alucard I heard the same but I surmized that pants just don't give the ghetto look like cheap overly flashy jeans do. Super baggy pants just make you look like a straight up bum. Thath or ruining style.

@minnow I heard drakaar nior is horrible but joop sounds incredibly tacky? Do they sell it in target because the closest Wal-Mart to me is in Yonkers and I'm in nowhere near there. Do you think axe or old spice is worse (I actually like old spice though).
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
11 years ago
I will definitely take a picture of the costume boys. Just talked to a few people and found a place that sells fake jewelry very bling, very big and very flashy. Expect it sometime next week. Now I also thinking about a few other things I should wear to the club. Is it overkill if I wear a bandana? (Black for neutral don't need to be a 2AMer). And in regards to hos I portray the attitude, was thinking if it was going overboard to portray the douche pervert or just try to pretend to have a faux silver tongue?

@sharkhunter, yeabh well new york sucks doesn't it? Be glad there are SOME clubs that let you wear shorts. But in this case it wouldn't pull the ghetto 80's gangsta look.

@Alucard I heard the same but I surmized that pants just don't give the ghetto look like cheap overly flashy jeans do. Super baggy pants just make you look like a straight up bum. Thath or ruining style.

@minnow I heard drakaar nior is horrible but joop sounds incredibly tacky? Do they sell it in target because the closest Wal-Mart to me is in Yonkers and I'm in nowhere near there. Do you think axe or old spice is worse (I actually like old spice though).
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Sounds like a great experiment. I know that in most clubs in Cali, any color bandana is a no-go.
avatar for minnow
minnow
11 years ago
E: Based on last post, I'd say that you should douse yourself with Axe body spray, top it off with a few spritzes of Joop! Yes, Old Spice is nice, but for some may be "old school". (Originally came out in 1938).
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
11 years ago
Esta that is a great idea. Let us know what happens. I love peoples reactions to stuff like that. If the girls ignore you then oull out a huge wad of cash and let some of the dancers see it and comment on how rude or stuck up tjey are and you will be taking your money to another club
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
11 years ago
Since I go to my club to see my ATF on the way to band practice, I'm usually dressed in jeans and a black T of some kind. She doesn't mind.

But when she's not working that day I need to dress in sportswear if I want the time of day from dancers who are new. (All the veterans know me so they know I'm good for some dances). If I wear my rock star clothes they think I have no money and don't pay any attention to me.
avatar for 216OJ614
216OJ614
11 years ago
cant wait for the follow up story
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