Funny expressions

goodsouthernboy
So I heard a funny expression that was new to me yesterday. Some guy on the other end of a conference call blurts out "I'm in a real shit sandwich over here." I cracked up because it was a bad day and that was just what I needed. I've also heard people use the expression "oh, I shit the bed on that one..." When the screw up or do something really dumb.

That gets me thinking, what other funny expressions are out there that I don't know about?

44 comments

Latest

  • Dacandyman
    •
    11 years ago
    I jus jacked it into my jelly beans.

    I say it every time I make jizzy beans. Pretty cool
  • duomaxwell
    •
    11 years ago
    My Dad always says "up shit creek without a paddle".
  • BigTuna1
    •
    11 years ago
    Ya rode that bitch side saddle
  • EarlTee
    •
    11 years ago
    He really screwed the pooch on that one.
  • zipman68
    •
    11 years ago
    You're holiness, I'd like my 72 virgins now. And make 'em hot!

    Most appropriate is said to a minister, pope, or prophet of the LORD.
  • BigTuna1
    •
    11 years ago
    I would like a pint of Guinness
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    11 years ago
    I thought shit sandwich referred to a situation where the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat.
  • mikeya02
    •
    11 years ago
    "Christ on a crutch!"
  • BigTuna1
    •
    11 years ago
    Jesus "H" Christ
  • goodsouthernboy
    •
    11 years ago
    Shit sandwich in this context was more of that he had a huge problem...
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    FUBAR.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    11 years ago
    Anyway at 10:30 the other night I go out into my yard and there's the Werzner kid looking up in the tree. I said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?
  • Clubber
    •
    11 years ago
    Con yo papas fritas!
  • lopaw
    •
    11 years ago
    I didn't know whether to shit or go blind
  • goodsouthernboy
    •
    11 years ago
    I'm as happy as a pup with two peters.
  • 23cambyman
    •
    11 years ago
    I want to hear from txtittyfag and all the sayings his pappy said...they are pretty funny!!
  • goodsouthernboy
    •
    11 years ago
    Slick as two eels in a barrel of snot.

    Why are all of mine gross or have something to do with bodily excrements? Odd...
  • boogieknight369
    •
    11 years ago
    She looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet.
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Slick as snot on a door knob

    I would slap you but shit splatters

    RATS!

    well the thing of it is...

    I'll be jiggered

    I'll be switched
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Y'all look like a bunch of retards trying to fuck a door knob... guess what movie that came from...

    Eeee holeeee
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Y'all look like a bunch of retards trying to fuck a door knob... guess what movie that came from...

    Eeee holeeee
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    Happier than a pig in shit.
  • BigTuna1
    •
    11 years ago
    Fuck me blind
  • SlickSpic
    •
    11 years ago
    You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    11 years ago
    @clubber cunt fried potatoes?
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    11 years ago
    Anyone with two fingers of forehead knows that.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    11 years ago
    And if my grandmother had wheels she'd be a bicycle.
  • mikeya02
    •
    11 years ago
    If my aunt had a dick, she'd be my uncle
  • SlickSpic
    •
    11 years ago
    Happy as a faggot in jail.
  • SlickSpic
    •
    11 years ago
    If the carpet don't match the drapes then get mix a Miss Clairol batch to get the snatch to match.
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Happier than Jim Neighbors with a wheel borrow full of butt holes
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Madder than a legless ethiopian watching a doughnut roll down a hill
  • goodsouthernboy
    •
    11 years ago
    Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest
  • SlickSpic
    •
    11 years ago
    That's what she said...

    I'm sweating like a black man at a white woman's funeral.

    Serio Pedo-Serious Fart(I never understood that Spanish saying used by Cholos)
  • Clackport
    •
    11 years ago
    I'm getting less pussy than Tim Tebow
  • goodsouthernboy
    •
    11 years ago
    ^lol
  • SlickSpic
    •
    11 years ago
    Pussy snapped shut tighter than a bear trap.
  • mikeya02
    •
    11 years ago
    As fucked up as a soup sandwich
  • Clubber
    •
    11 years ago
    ilbbaicnl,

    I was told "damn french fries". In any case, I had no idea what it means, but I just like the sound of it!


    Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    I'm going to take a piss or a shit. I leave them.
  • Clubber
    •
    11 years ago
    sc,

    A typo?
  • mikeya02
    •
    11 years ago
    More nervous than the Taliban hearing "B-52" at a bingo game
  • Clubber
    •
    11 years ago
    mike,

    Love that one!
  • magicrat
    •
    11 years ago
    I'm so happy I could just shit.
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