Funny expressions

8/21/2013 3:58:46 PM

So I heard a funny expression that was new to me yesterday. Some guy on the other end of a conference call blurts out "I'm in a real shit sandwich over here." I cracked up because it was a bad day and that was just what I needed. I've also heard people use the expression "oh, I shit the bed on that one..." When the screw up or do something really dumb.

That gets me thinking, what other funny expressions are out there that I don't know about?

44 comments

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Dacandyman

•

11 years ago

I jus jacked it into my jelly beans.

I say it every time I make jizzy beans. Pretty cool

duomaxwell

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11 years ago

My Dad always says "up shit creek without a paddle".

BigTuna1

•

11 years ago

Ya rode that bitch side saddle

EarlTee

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11 years ago

He really screwed the pooch on that one.

zipman68

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11 years ago

You're holiness, I'd like my 72 virgins now. And make 'em hot!

Most appropriate is said to a minister, pope, or prophet of the LORD.

BigTuna1

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11 years ago

I would like a pint of Guinness

ilbbaicnl

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11 years ago

I thought shit sandwich referred to a situation where the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat.

mikeya02

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11 years ago

"Christ on a crutch!"

BigTuna1

•

11 years ago

Jesus "H" Christ

goodsouthernboy

•

11 years ago

Shit sandwich in this context was more of that he had a huge problem...

shadowcat

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11 years ago

FUBAR.

ilbbaicnl

•

11 years ago

Anyway at 10:30 the other night I go out into my yard and there's the Werzner kid looking up in the tree. I said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

Clubber

•

11 years ago

Con yo papas fritas!

lopaw

•

11 years ago

I didn't know whether to shit or go blind

goodsouthernboy

•

11 years ago

I'm as happy as a pup with two peters.

23cambyman

•

11 years ago

I want to hear from txtittyfag and all the sayings his pappy said...they are pretty funny!!

goodsouthernboy

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11 years ago

Slick as two eels in a barrel of snot.

Why are all of mine gross or have something to do with bodily excrements? Odd...

boogieknight369

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11 years ago

She looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet.

crazyjoe

•

11 years ago

Slick as snot on a door knob

I would slap you but shit splatters

RATS!

well the thing of it is...

I'll be jiggered

I'll be switched

crazyjoe

•

11 years ago

Y'all look like a bunch of retards trying to fuck a door knob... guess what movie that came from...

Eeee holeeee

crazyjoe

•

11 years ago

Y'all look like a bunch of retards trying to fuck a door knob... guess what movie that came from...

Eeee holeeee

shadowcat

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11 years ago

Happier than a pig in shit.

BigTuna1

•

11 years ago

Fuck me blind

SlickSpic

•

11 years ago

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.

ilbbaicnl

•

11 years ago

@clubber cunt fried potatoes?

ilbbaicnl

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11 years ago

Anyone with two fingers of forehead knows that.

ilbbaicnl

•

11 years ago

And if my grandmother had wheels she'd be a bicycle.

mikeya02

•

11 years ago

If my aunt had a dick, she'd be my uncle

SlickSpic

•

11 years ago

Happy as a faggot in jail.

SlickSpic

•

11 years ago

If the carpet don't match the drapes then get mix a Miss Clairol batch to get the snatch to match.

crazyjoe

•

11 years ago

Happier than Jim Neighbors with a wheel borrow full of butt holes

crazyjoe

•

11 years ago

Madder than a legless ethiopian watching a doughnut roll down a hill

goodsouthernboy

•

11 years ago

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

SlickSpic

•

11 years ago

That's what she said...

I'm sweating like a black man at a white woman's funeral.

Serio Pedo-Serious Fart(I never understood that Spanish saying used by Cholos)

Clackport

•

11 years ago

I'm getting less pussy than Tim Tebow

goodsouthernboy

•

11 years ago

^lol

SlickSpic

•

11 years ago

Pussy snapped shut tighter than a bear trap.

mikeya02

•

11 years ago

As fucked up as a soup sandwich

Clubber

•

11 years ago

ilbbaicnl,

I was told "damn french fries". In any case, I had no idea what it means, but I just like the sound of it!

Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

shadowcat

•

11 years ago

I'm going to take a piss or a shit. I leave them.

Clubber

•

11 years ago

sc,

A typo?

mikeya02

•

11 years ago

More nervous than the Taliban hearing "B-52" at a bingo game