Funny expressions

I jus jacked it into my jelly beans.

I say it every time I make jizzy beans. Pretty cool

My Dad always says "up shit creek without a paddle".

Ya rode that bitch side saddle

He really screwed the pooch on that one.

You're holiness, I'd like my 72 virgins now. And make 'em hot!

Most appropriate is said to a minister, pope, or prophet of the LORD.

I would like a pint of Guinness

I thought shit sandwich referred to a situation where the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat.

"Christ on a crutch!"

Jesus "H" Christ

Shit sandwich in this context was more of that he had a huge problem...

FUBAR.

Anyway at 10:30 the other night I go out into my yard and there's the Werzner kid looking up in the tree. I said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

Con yo papas fritas!

I didn't know whether to shit or go blind

I'm as happy as a pup with two peters.

I want to hear from txtittyfag and all the sayings his pappy said...they are pretty funny!!

Slick as two eels in a barrel of snot.

Why are all of mine gross or have something to do with bodily excrements? Odd...

She looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet.

Slick as snot on a door knob

I would slap you but shit splatters

RATS!

well the thing of it is...

I'll be jiggered

I'll be switched

Y'all look like a bunch of retards trying to fuck a door knob... guess what movie that came from...

Eeee holeeee

Y'all look like a bunch of retards trying to fuck a door knob... guess what movie that came from...

Eeee holeeee

Happier than a pig in shit.

Fuck me blind

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.

@clubber cunt fried potatoes?

Anyone with two fingers of forehead knows that.

And if my grandmother had wheels she'd be a bicycle.

If my aunt had a dick, she'd be my uncle

Happy as a faggot in jail.

If the carpet don't match the drapes then get mix a Miss Clairol batch to get the snatch to match.

Happier than Jim Neighbors with a wheel borrow full of butt holes

Madder than a legless ethiopian watching a doughnut roll down a hill

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

That's what she said...

I'm sweating like a black man at a white woman's funeral.

Serio Pedo-Serious Fart(I never understood that Spanish saying used by Cholos)

I'm getting less pussy than Tim Tebow

^lol

Pussy snapped shut tighter than a bear trap.

As fucked up as a soup sandwich

ilbbaicnl,

I was told "damn french fries". In any case, I had no idea what it means, but I just like the sound of it!

Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

I'm going to take a piss or a shit. I leave them.

sc,

A typo?

More nervous than the Taliban hearing "B-52" at a bingo game

mike,

Love that one!

I'm so happy I could just shit.