(They're back by popular demand. Okay, by one person't request - I'm easy.)
An anonymous poster finds some peculiar reasons to rate Parkway Tropics in Grand Rapids, MI a 1:
"The girls are ok, but they look like shit on their website. The girls on night shift need to put on some weight."
An anonymous poster reviews the geography around The High Heel Saloon in Somonauk, Illinois:
"Time to be cautious on if this club really exists. ... There is no 48th Road as an address. There is a County 20 which also becomes county 58. Farther west from Somonauk the road is called Gov. Beveridge Highway. Now if we just knew who Gov. Beveridge is. There is a very obscure airport near this supposed club location and it is called Woodlake Landing Airport. Last time I was by there it had a grass air strip and no tower. Basically you would take Us Highway 34 west from Yorkville to west of Sandwich Illinois. Turn south on Glethy (?) Road and then west on Wright Drive to get to the airport. To get to County 20 just keep going south on Glethy Road. This place would have zero visability from US Highway 34. This area is in an area of Illinois that time has passed by, and is in a geographic buldge on La Salle Countny Illinois which allows Strip Clubs. It is very near De Kalb County which in general has found ways to not allow strip clubs. Actually this area might be a good location for a club, however visability and access would border on extremely poor. This area is scheduled for extremely high growth rates in the next 20 years, especially if Speaker Hastert builds his new federal freeway near this area. But at the moment, this is a strange area to build a new club IF it exists at all."
I've been to the Erotic Cafe in Pennsauken several times and liked it. It's a tiny dump of a place attached to a seedy motel, but it had some very attractive ladies who gave excellent LD's in a fairly private room. I liked it better than Playhouse Lounge a few mile up the road, which for some odd reason is the #1 rated club in the US.
For that matter, I went to the King of Clubs back in about 1997. Had a great time, and I can understand how it might get raided.
Chandler-
I've been to Blackjack's in Elgin, IL. It's less than 10 miles from my old home. That's one place I won't go back to.
Ranger243 critiques the show at the Landing Strip in Austin, Texas:
"special stage show by Briana Banks. The porn star danced about 3 long songs and the people scattered piles of money on the stage. Briana spit one big loogie on the stage pole and wiped it off with her butt crack. She spit on a dancer’s chest and a man’s cap brim, but quickly licked her body fluids back up. Yummy, I did not hang around the stage."
Good Customer files a report from King of Clubs in Memphis, Tennessee:
"....actually, the club was closed Thursday night at about 7:30 pm with a very high-profile raid / bust. What a joke. The Memphis television people were alerted ahead of time ... I know because I was out there talking to one of the crews as they prepared their 10 pm live reports. (Note to other club owner/managers, if you see Channel 5 parked in your lot with a 30 foot microwave antenna extending over a brightly painted van and TV talking heads adjusting their ties while crews set up lights, you might consider cutting your losses that night and closing early.)"
Blackjacks A Gentlemen's Club in Elgin, Illinois gets on the wrong side of JunkYardDog:
"BTW they actually have the nerve to charge you for the pleasure of parking your own car then what's even worse they charge you again just to get in...there really is one born every minute, I was even more surprised they didn't charge me again when I left."
The Erotic Cafe in Pennsauken, New Jersey has had it up to here with nereifsn's bad boy ways:
"Get this, after frequenting this club for 8 years, I managed to get myself thrown out this past Friday. How you would think that I comitted some no no such as verbal abuse of a dancer. Afraid NOT! I complained twice to management. The first complaint was that there was no soap dispenser in the mens rest romm. ... They told me to use the ladies room. My next complaint was having to pay $5 for a third water. The $10 admission cost only covers two waters or non-alcoholic drinks. ... The manager, this guy had an IQ of 10 or less, went beserk and started using profanity and told me never to return."
Oral report fr. coworker: The bar was well stocked, but not stocked enough to make me want to get a dance there."
PaigeDWinter tells about Cheaters in Cocoa Beach, Florida:
"The entire club smelled bad, however. A few girls who had been over there within the last month blamed a roof leak on a bad, cat-urine like smell in the club. It doesnt smell THAT bad now, but it still smells gross. They try their best to mask the odor with cinnamon air freshener."
Danzer's Bar & Lounge in Lafayette, Indiana leads dfrost to opine:
"As best, this is a club you go to on two occations - when you are board out of you mind and you live within a mile or happen to be driving by, or your completely trashed and are just jonesing to see a couple of floppy breasts."
Showoffs in West Orange, New Jersey leads tuscl12345 to surmise:
"Every wonder how Brazil seem to have a whole country of girls who are uniformly gorgeous? Well, apparently the government has a program whereby they round up all the ugly and fat girls and send them directly to this club. Ugh!"