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strippers run the risk of getting stalked by customers, getting fired for making the wrong call, or they could end up with jizz on them. This fear of being too bold at the workplace is why strippers stop reaching for the stars! It leads them to embrace a life of lapdance mediocrity. By avoiding an intense lapdance performance, you avoid the risk of getting gunked up. This is also why grocery store leaders stop holding BBQ dunk tank parties for the staff! And while we're busy playing prevent defense like this, Lots of the best things in life end up slipping away just because we're scared of lawyers (the dunk tank party) or scared of jizz blasts inside some dude's shorts (the stripper) !!!!!

If a lapdance has no chance whatsoever of making you jizz, what kind of vegans have we allowed ourselves to become? America needs to embrace greatness once more! If this economy of ours is increasingly becoming jizz-based, then we need to start putting an actual monetary value on jizz! That way when a lapdance produces sticky shorts, the customer and dancer can both be winners! How, you ask? Here's how: the customer could get a discount on the dance by capturing some of that ejaculation in a pharmacy vial and presenting it to the stripper as payment, and she'd then be able to take that unit of goo to the sperm bank and get hard cash payment for it, because the sperm back would be a real banking institution as well now that jizz was legal tender.

So in short what I'm saying here is, "By the power of God, work it! Living a full life is its own reward, and a full life entails turning your hips loose enough during lapdances that there's at least a chance of an awkward pants blast occurring. Or else we're all living a lie, making sensual overtures without ever journeying to sensual-ville!!!!!!! The chance of sticky pants is why we get out of bed in the morning, I tell you! We pay $12 for rum and coke because we believe there's a chance! We choose to believe, for the same reason Elvis sang so movingly about the ghetto--- we want to believe there's a better future waiting for them and for us somewhere out there--a future where sexual arousal leads to at least partial blast off part of the time, somehow, in some way.

So if we do the "safety dance" instead, and eliminate any chance of a pants accident, we're killing the American dream! This nation was built on God and on Gambling, and by God lapdances should be a better gamble, a gamble with a real chance of sticky pants. Will I be able to squeak by and get my dong triggered by her mild undulations this time, or will I lose this round of lapdance roulette? "The house always wins in the end," they say. The house always gets the money. But the casino needn't win every single hand of poker. Sometimes, the customer should be able to walk away saying he at least won one lapdance. That's why I'm running for Congress on this pants-blasting platform and I hope I can count on your support.

by The Boob;......Copyed and posted by juicebox69........snitched out by a pussy named rickdugen