What is the Drac-dudes malfunction?

zipman68
the speed force!
Wow...I got some major hostility from Monsieur Draques latest sock puppet (LittleWimpyJohn69). What do you think makes that whack-a-loon act the way he does? My theories, along with assessments of the likelihood they are correct, are:

1. This is some sort of groovy performance art. He is going to write a book based upon his posts and our reactions. Likelihood -- very low. This idea has a certain intelligence at its core tha simply isn't evident in ol' Drac's posts. It would be cool if it were true though -- I could get along with meta-Drac.

2. Drac isn't one person. He is a joke character animated by a group of stoned frat boys. Likelihood -- low. This is a lowbrow version of meta-Drac. The fact that the frat boys are permanent stoned explains the stupidity of the comments, but there is a mean spirit to the Drac-dude that this doesn't explain.

3. He is real, and a sad little man whose life was very constrained growing up. Now he is obsessed with his right to say what he feels. So obsessed he doesn't realize that nobody is depriving him of that right. I'm simply saying I don't like the dude. Something he says about 98% of us. In a wacky super-secret Dick Nixon enemies list for Christ's sake! In psycho PMs! Likelihood -- moderate. Explains the hostility and stupidity.

4. He is sexually obsessed with some or all of his sparring partners. Dude can't get an erection unless he reads an attack. So he logs on, scrolls to threads where he is disparaged, gets all hot and bothered, and fap...fap...fap. Likelihood -- high. Explains all of the behavior. Including the stupid insults. He doesn't care about winning 'cos he gets off on the attacks.

There is hope my brother. I hate to see anyone suffer. Hit rock bottom and GET SOME HELP. We'll accept you back with open arms after you stay at a hospital for a while and get better. It will be so much more fun joking with us than engaging in pointless attacks. You will be so much more fulfilled as a normal perv than as the psycho wack-a-loon you currently are!

So -- any other theories? Can we help Brother Drac? I'd really like to see him get better.

23 comments

Latest

JackFrost9
12 years ago
I like a mix of 3 and 4 .....lol....good laughs bro
Joker420
12 years ago
Yes very funny zip
Dougster
12 years ago
Good analyzes. I would bump the likelihood of 3 to "high", however. Everything else is good.
goodsouthernboy
12 years ago
I'll jump in on a harmless joke... Maybe he's a N Korean refugee who learned from his government that negative attention is better than no attention. This latest Kim is really good at pissing people off with his words and legimately thinks its everyone else that is in the wrong. I could see some parallels. This could also explain his aversion for guns...
tumblingdice
12 years ago
Zip and Boy!Right on time.
SnackBox69
12 years ago
Spot on prophet zip
DoctorPhil
12 years ago
hey zip. you have a talent and may have a future in this psycho analysis shit. i have two words for you, oprah and daty. think about it and good luck in all you do

The JHR Company®
Dougster
12 years ago
I can summarize what alutard's problem is in five words: He is a total faggot.
Alucard
12 years ago
Ah....

The same collection of uninformed, STUPID, ignorant, wildly guessing, vile ASSHOLES trying desperately to figure things out. LMFAOROTF

Keep guessing, MAYBE in 10 Billion years you might get lucky & stumble on to something.
Dougster
12 years ago
Sorry alutard, but the only person who hasn't got you figured out is yourself. Keep thinking if you keep telling use a genius, rebel and hero you are though it will make is so and we won't be able see beyond the act.
DoctorPhil
12 years ago
no figuring it out necessary.

“I'll stand completely alone if necessary!”

you have always stood alone but not by choice. you are giggling in the dark covered in your own shit but still don’t know why you have never had a normal relationship with anyone. btw paying a whore is not a real relationship. get help soon
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
Lol
deogol
12 years ago
He thinks anyone that doesn't agree with him is attacking him. Typical narcissism.
Alucard
12 years ago
"He thinks anyone that doesn't agree with him is attacking him. Typical narcissism"

I'm not narcissistic at all. NO one has to agree with any of my opinions. You're all entitled to your own opinions. BUT I know a PERSONAL attack when I read or see one. And you Assholes keep attacking me because of the things I say.
Tiredtraveler
12 years ago
Battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. I'm sure he will Segway this into another pro gun confiscation rant and how libertarians and conservative want to take all liberty away. But look who is targeting reporters and illegally harassing them and invading they and their family's privacy---could it be oh no the messianic complex, compulsive golfing, Chicago criminal Obama !! Say it ain't so Drac.
Alucard
12 years ago
You should be VERY careful about what you say about a President Tiredtraveler. You could very easily find yourself in jail.
goodsouthernboy
12 years ago
Right, because after the 2nd Amendment is repealed, freedom of speech is next on the chopping block...

goodsouthernboy
12 years ago
We know all of those that criticized Bush are in jail right?
sharkhunter
12 years ago
Maybe he's really one of those psy vampires and he sucks the energy out of you if given the chance.

hmmm, I wonder if I criticized a past president? I stopped getting Christmas Cards with the presidential seal on it years ago. Maybe that was just christmas cards from the Jimmy Carter group.


hmmm, maybe I got blacklisted when I got a letter stating my name was on a chip sent to Mars with the first rover mission. The Martians may have demanded the names of everyone who invaded their planet. I knew that letter was suspicious. They didn't even ask if I wanted my name on Mars.
Even told me they made hundreds of chips and were going to send those names all over the solar system. If aliens come looking I might want to meet up with you guys and take a different name. I might be considered an alien litterbug.
crazyjoe
12 years ago
Preach on good southernboy
Alucard
12 years ago
"Right, because after the 2nd Amendment is repealed, freedom of speech is next on the chopping block..."

IMHO he seems on the edge of making a threat. That's illegal. He should beware. Certainly sounds like you is looking for revolution with his comments.
jabthehut
12 years ago
Come on Al. There is no threat in stating how one feels about your pedotard el presidente, especially when it is the truth. Besides you are the one who has mentioned tre*s*n.
I really don't like the assholes who personally attack you for your ideas. I am just attacking your dumbass ideas/statements and this is one of them.
DoctorPhil
11 years ago
@zipperhead aka comicbookguy

you crack me up.
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