As a public service, I have put together Frequently Asked Questions for TUSCL. It should provide help to new members of this discussion forum. Please add your own questions and answers to this FAQ.
Q What 3 words best describe strippers? A Lying, thieving whores
Q Do strippers think all customers are pathetic losers? A No. Some customers are rap stars and drug dealers.
Q What should I wear in a strip club? A A condom.
Q If I go to a strip club, will I be shot? A Not if you leave before 2AM.
Q What's the best thing to do with my money to keep it safe in the strip club? A Roll it into a tight cylinder and stick it up your ass.
Q If my wife or girlfriend finds out I'm going to strip clubs, will she leave me? A Yes. This is the best reason for going to strip clubs.
Q How do I get better mileage? A Buy a Chevy Volt.
Q What should I do if I run into someone I know in a strip club? A Tip her a dollar.
Q When's the best time to go to the strip club? A When it's open.
Q Should I go to strip clubs or save the money for my kids' college education. A Go to the clubs. Johnny is too dumb to get into college and little Emily can always become a stripper.
Q I am a young, good-looking guy. Can I date a stripper? A Yes. But you must also be (1) unemployed or (2) a drug addict or (3) a musician. Best stripper boyfriend material: an unemployed drug-addicted musician.
Q I am over 40 and out of shape. Can I date a stripper? A Yes. But you also must (1) have a good-paying job and (2) be pathetic and (3) have shit for brains.
Q Is is okay to eat in a strip club? A Only the bearded clams.
Q Why do strippers have so many tattoos? A They don't like to feel naked.
Q Should I loan money to a stripper? A No. Save time by flushing your money directly down the toilet.
Q Why did the stripper cross the road? A She couldn't find a worse decision to make
Q How do I get a stripper to have sex with me ITC? A Give her money.
Q How do I get a stripper to have sex with me OTC? A Give her money.
Q Do you have a secret technique that will make strippers give you sex for free? A Yes. But I'm not telling you.
Q How much is HJ/BJ/FS? A Ham Jerky is $3.95, Beef Jerky is $4.95, and a Fish Sandwich is $5.95.
Q Why do you guys on TUSCL use so many acronyms? A IDK
Q What is the best stripper name? A Tiffany.
Q What is the best strip club song? A The She's Too Fat For Me Polka
Q How many strippers does it take to change a light bulb? A None. Strippers won't change.
Q I met a stripper who's really cute. We talked and had a lot of common interests and really connected. Do you think she likes me? A Does a shark like chum?
Q im 18 n i wanna no if i can b a strpper? A Do you know how to take your clothes off?
Q What the best thing about about a three way? A The fantasy beforehand.
Q What is the worst thing about a three way? A You spend your money twice as fast.
Q Will my friends and family be disgusted if they find I have a strip club addiction? A Yes. But you will forget all about your friends and family as soon as you go back to the strip club.
Q How can I tell if a stripper is lying to me? A Her lips move.
Q This blonde dancer told me she's stripping to pay her way thru school. Should I believe her? A Yes. This is the way most blondes pay their way thru elementary school.
Q Do strippers ever graduate from college? A Yes. They graduate magna CUM laude.
Q My fav dancer says I'm the only customer she blows or has sex with. Should I believe her? A It depends. Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Q Should I be proud to be a strip club customer? A Yes. You are helping single mothers make a decent living.
Q All I can think about is naked strippers writhing lasciviously in front of me. Am I going straight to hell? A Yes.
Q Can I catch a disease in a strip club? A No. Strip clubs are sterile environments.
Q I really had great rapport with Fantasia, who used to dance at the Booby Lounge. Does anybody know where she is now? A Yes. She's on her knees under my desk.
Q How can I tell if a stripper's tits are real? A If you can feel them, they're real.
Q What is the proper strip club etiquette? A Be sure to ask permission before you cum in her mouth.
Q Where can I find the cheapest strippers? A In the paint department of Walmart
Q Where can I find a stripper with a heart of gold? A In the movies.
Q What's the difference between white strippers and black strippers? A Whore vs. ho.
Q I want to own a strip club so I can spend all my time with hot babes. What do I have to do? A Have the heart of a pimp.
Q I'm in love with a stripper. Should I marry her? A Just shoot yourself.
Damn. That was hilarious!