10 Mistakes Guys Make at the Strip Club

If you're a casual strip club customer, understanding and exploiting the unspoken rules and etiquette of the club will maximize your enjoyment. In order to improve your consumer experience, you need to avoid these common mistakes that can kill your boner, waste your money, or get you subpar customer service. Heed this advice and it'll improve your odds of having a good time with fun strippers and leaving the club with your bank account, self-respect, and iPhone intact. Bringing Your Girlfriend Who Doesn't Want to Be There It's the saddest thing to see in the strip club: the reluctant woman. She won't make eye contact with the dancers, has her arms crossed, and is clearly uncomfortable in the club. Only bring a date if she's been to strip clubs before or if she suggests it. Do you really want to be the one she associates with her first (only) traumatic visit? None of the strippers will talk to you and you'll have a terrible time. Buying Something That's Not Worth It With a Group, Like a Bachelor Package If you're going with a party, the club might offer you some great VIP deal which is almost certainly not worth it. You'll likely be whisked off somewhere where the hosts will just bring you "the best girls," meaning the ones who kick back fat tips to the hosts. Then you're missing out on much of the club's talent. And don't buy one of those dumb, expensive stage dances where strippers beat up the bachelor. Not Asking the Rules If you're new to the club or area, asking about the rules can save you confusion and potential awkwardness, like when a dancer chastises you for not tipping at stage or asks what's wrong if you keep your hands to yourself. I know a guy who jumped up in terror of being thrown out when a dancer sat on his lap because he was used to strict no-contact clubs. You don't want to react with shock when a stripper sits on your lap. Not Being Able to Say "No" and Instead Giving Excuses It's really sweet that guys in the club don't want to make us feel rejected. But "maybe later," "I'm waiting on a friend," "I'm married," or "I'm just here to have a drink" as a way of turning down offers of private dances or company aren't necessary. Think of us as waitresses-if you don't need anything, a "No, thanks" will suffice. Our feelings won't be hurt, and we won't come back to bother you later. Not Asking for Prices First For a while at one of my clubs, a certain group of dancers had issues with customers refusing to pay them. It wasn't long before management caught on-they took customers back to VIP with no discussion of prices, then told the customers they owed wildly inflated amounts, and relied on the intimidation factor of the bouncers to get them to pay up. Avoid being targeted by shady businesswomen or going over budget by always asking what the cost is up-front. Using Your Phone Near the Stage A couple of weeks ago, a friend saw a flash go off while she was on stage. She grabbed the offending customer's phone and hurled it to its death. Serves him right for taking pictures in the club. Except wait: He had his iPhone set on flash alerts, which makes the phone emit bursts of light instead of a alert tones! Oops. To avoid misunderstandings like that, only use your phone wne you're far from stages or naked women. Wearing Scratchy Clothing/Sharp Accessories Please leave wallet chains, elaborate belts, embellished shirts, and Carhartts at home. Our skin is especially tender and a night of lapdancing on tough fabric leaves it chafed and sore. If you're wearing softer jeans or pants, we'll be so appreciative. And keep your front pockets empty to avoid getting poked with your own keys or having a stripper buttdial someone for you during a lapdance ("You called last night? And you were underwater listening to T.I.?"). Not Tipping the Stage Stage tipping is a really regional activity: Guys might make it rain or they might approach the stage only rarely. But tipping at least a couple of bucks to each dancer guarantees that a steady flow will visit your table because they see that you're engaged with what's going on in the club. Toss a few bucks up there for each dancer and many will stop by to thank you or say hi. Using a Credit Card Just don't, unless you absolutely don't care about money whatsoever. At best, you'll pay an additional 10-to-20 percent in service charges. At worst, you'll get jacked by an unscrupulous waitress or cashier who'll add a "tip" onto the total. And often clubs don't pay the full amount out to the dancers, holding another "service charge" from their end. Get cash before you come, in the amount you desire/can afford to spend. Choosing Who You Buy a Lapdance From Based Solely on Looks The first time I took my partner to a club, he bought a dance from an alt-looking brunette, totally his type. I bought one from a slightly chubby girl who wasn't the hottest, but had a great smile. He got a lame lapdance and I got a super hot one. If you want a better experience than watching a distracted hot chick sway in front of you, choose your dancer based on body language and customer interaction in addition to looks. f you're a casual strip club customer, understanding and exploiting the unspoken rules and etiquette of the club will maximize your enjoyment. In order to improve your consumer experience, you need to avoid these common mistakes that can kill your boner, waste your money, or get you subpar customer service. Heed this advice and it'll improve your odds of having a good time with fun strippers and leaving the club with your bank account, self-respect, and iPhone intact. [view link]