concern or not

joey2002
We learned as individuals to help those who are in trouble. Now if a dancer is beaten or abuse, do you feel compel to get her some help or not because you don't know the severity of the situation and results?

48 comments

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shadowcat
12 years ago
Best to NOT get involved.
jerikson40
12 years ago
How are you going to help?

If some asshole is doing something illegal to her, she can pick up the phone and call 911 just as easy as you can. You can encourage her to do the right thing, but what you may not understand is she probably chooses to be in that situation, whatever it is.

It's like people seeing a homeless guy on the street. You assume, well, he has no money, so if I give him money and a job he'll be okay. Actually, no. He's probably got mental problems and wants to live in the street so he doesn't have to deal with life. You could find him a job, encourage him to go to work everyday, and help him out, but guaranteed in a couple months he'd be back on the street.

Chances are you really don't know what would help her, if anything.

And consider this: if she wasn't a hot stripper, but just a chick at McDonalds who got you your Big Mac, would you even give a crap?

Dude, many of the people you pass every day on the street have problems as bad or worse than that stripper, and you can't help all of them. And even if you could help one or two, you probably don't really KNOW what they need (as opposed to what they say they need). And as a result you could end up harming yourself. She'd likely end up taking advantage of you, and in the end she'd still be in the same situation.

You don't know squat about her, and probably never will. She's probably lying, and probably always will.

If you want to help people, send some money to the Red Cross to help the people on the East Coast who lost their homes. Or hop a plane and volunteer to help dig out.
joey2002
12 years ago
Both are great points. What is the situation up there?
joey2002
12 years ago
I mean is the hurricanes died down or is it still going on? They talked about that it would be this weekend when it would leave.
occurious
12 years ago
Best not to get involved in personal matters like that. Now if you see someone hitting her then by all means call 911, but that's in public.

Regarding the comment about homeless and giving them money, you're right a lot of them have mental, drug or alcohol problems but I don't think most of them want to live on the street. I wouldn't go giving them a job or getting that involved but if someone is begging for money you really can't judge their situation from a quick look.

I've been very blessed, lucky whatever you want to call it and I have the money to give to people looking for it so frequently I will give them money. What they use it for is their business and I'm not going to judge. The realist in me says that probably 8 times out of 10 I'm a sucker for doing it but if you can afford it isn't it worth the 8 bad ones to help the 2 that are genuine.
mikeya02
12 years ago
You have a crap attitude, Jerikson. Any girl being struck by a man in front of me, I'm stepping in. And if my fav had a bruise on her face she was trying to hide, I would teach him a lesson. Without telling her of course.
jerikson40
12 years ago
Years ago there was a news investigation show (can't recall which one) which did a special on the homeless in San Francisco. Which as we all know is the homeless capital of the world.

Anyway, some reporters went out on Market St and thereabouts and met some of the homeless folks, spent some time with them, and picked three of them with the most promise, and worked over a period of many months to help get them back on their feet. The homeless folks assured the news people they really wanted to get back into society, get a job, and turn their lives around.

Over a period of time, all got jobs, got apartments, and seemed like they were back on their feet.

Needless to say, when the news guys checked back months later, all were back on the street.

Strange as it may seem, for the most part, people choose to be in whatever situation they are in. No matter how bad it is, and how irrational it seems, they probably prefer it.

Giving money doesn't help them. Give a man some fish, it feeds him for a day. Teach him how to fish, it feeds him for a lifetime. But if he really doesn't give a crap and doesn't want to change his situation, there's nothing you can do.

Although giving him stuff might make you feel better about yourself, if that's important to you. And personally, I think that's really what's behind most people's efforts to help others.
jerikson40
12 years ago
"Any girl being struck by a man in front of me, I'm stepping in. And if my fav had a bruise on her face she was trying to hide, I would teach him a lesson"

Wow, sounds good. Go for it. See where it gets you. And see if it helps her out.
jackslash
12 years ago
If I saw a stripper being beaten, I would call 911, but I would not step in physically. I am not a policeman, I am not qualified to handle the situation, and I am not armed (usually not--I do have a concealed pistol permit and carry my Glock on occasion).

A couple years ago I read a newspaper story that would cause anyone to hesitate about getting involved in a stripper situation. A Detroit strip club customer saw a stripper being hit by a man in the club parking lot. Being chivalrous, the customer intervened, but the stripper turned on the customer. The stripper and her boyfriend (pimp?) attacked the customer and chased him around the strip club. The boyfriend pulled out his gun and fired several shots at the customer, who fortunately was not wounded or killed.
mikeya02
12 years ago
Nothing in it for me Jerikson. I just don't like girls or women being beaten or raped or possibly murdered in front of me.
Estafador
12 years ago
the situation is, I'm out of a fucking job. my store fucking won't open for shit. Many homes in long island is shot and bums still ask me for money. They need to fuck off and get away from me. Fuck that bitch and tell her to call 911 if it's that serious. I don't know what kind of job you have, but money doesn't come by easy these days if you aren't already on top of life. I remember a bum was bitching at how she lost her job and she owed money to her home, and I was currently thinking about going home, thanking god and all that good stuff. Then, just to see what would happen (and because I was feeling perverse) I very much alluded the fact if I give her something she gives me something, though she didn't understand that. But i at that point didn't want her to because she was all about god.
turns out she was willing to suck a dick for some money though and then you realize she's just another crack whore. Point is, if they really needed help for a situation, instead of telling the world, they'd simply tell the police and be done with it. There are many free agencies and hotlines available to help her. Don't throw away your money for nothing bro.
jerikson40
12 years ago
All of us have a natural instinct to protect women, and we'd all run over and pull the guy off if we saw him hitting a woman. But we also have a natural instinct to assume everyone else is rational. Which they're not.

Ask any stripper, any woman, and she will agree that there is a dirty little secret inside many women where they are attracted to the kind of guy who treats them like crap. And they'll rationalize it, and often blame themselves for the guy beating her. Totally irrational, but nevertheless true.

Mikey sez he'd beat the crap out of the guy. Fine. And then what happens? The guy gets even more pissed that some guy she's screwing at the club beat up on him, so he takes it out on her and beats her more next time. And she sticks up for the guy when the cops come because she loves him. And it's her fault, not his, that he beats her.

The only thing that helps her is if SHE decides she wants help. Like I said, she can call 911 just as easy as anyone can. And if she doesn't then she doesn't want help.
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
Got snow like one inch in my neck of the woods.....and be carfull man with a stripper getting beat and intervening she may have a pimp and he may just pistal wip you for trying to play captin save a hoe
Estafador
12 years ago
haha, juicy j knows the game
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
Esta juicy j is looking to get into the hoe bizzness not kidding I'm dead set on having web cam girls, escorts, massage parlors, stripclubs and so on the world juice, juicy, ect will be well known one of these days as a massive conglomerate of this hoe biz
joey2002
12 years ago
Have you ever felt s sorry by the bruises they received
Estafador
12 years ago
yeah, but they usually don't talk about it. If they do, they aren't looking for captain save a hoe. My cousin was in one for a while and she refused to get out of the relationship, even with all her brothers and cousins ready to whoop that ex's ass. The best thing you can do is just be their friend and act when they allow you to otherwise, you'll be pushing her away no matter how much you are trying to help and do a good thing.
mikeya02
12 years ago
I never said I would beat the crap out of anyone, I said I would step in. There are other options. You guys make good points about pimps tho. Except I don't hang or care about girls with pimps.
jerikson40
12 years ago
Joey sez: "Have you ever felt s sorry by the bruises they received"

Never seen a stripper with bruises.

Though I've been in other countries where I've seen people who make something like $3 a day if they're lucky, and live in tiny shacks with open sewage flowing nearby. Can't afford food for their families, no way they can afford medical treatment.

I'm sorry, what were you asking?
joey2002
12 years ago
That's true though. I wondered why do they connect with these pimps anyway?
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
No I've never felt bad for giving one bitch needs to pay me
jerikson40
12 years ago
"Except I don't hang or care about girls with pimps"

Maybe, or maybe you just don't know about it. The point is, before you "teach him a lesson" keep in mind that whether it's a pimp or a boyfriend, you have no idea what he, or they will do. They might turn on you and report you to the cops for beating him up, or the guy will get his buds together and beat the crap out of you. If he's capable of beating up a girl, he's fucked in the head. Pimp or not.
jerikson40
12 years ago
"I wondered why do they connect with these pimps anyway?"

Because they are fucked up in the head. If you knew their background you'd probably go screaming into the night. Abandoned and/or beaten by drunk fathers, mother was a hooker, foster homes, you name it. Or maybe they were just born fucked in the head. You'll never understand it, and you'll never, ever fix it. It is what it is.
Clubber
12 years ago
I got involved in a situation that I didn't even initiate and it didn't turn out real well. One never knows.
joey2002
12 years ago
That's true.
mikeya02
12 years ago
@Estafador&Juice. Don't pimped girls have dude's name tatted on them somewhere? I mean "lil" Mac Jones would be a giveaway, right?
HowdyPilgrims
12 years ago
A stripper I got dances from on occasion came over to me one night, she had bruises on each side of her neck. I was like "wtf happened" and she didn't want to talk about it. I pressed her further and she gave me a sob story about her ex-hubby keeps showing up at her house an beats her. She ended the story with would i help her by giving her cash to get away.
Her version of the story was quite a lot longer than that. It contained many inconsistencies and contradictions. When I questioned these, she explained them away with more things that didn't make sense. Finally at the end of the whole thing she admitted she likes rough sex and being choked at climax.
Even then I probably still didn't get the truth out of her.

Get involved at your own risk. Make sure it is legitimate first, though.
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
Just look at juicy j son.....I'm all kinds of.fucked.up and I going to.be pumping des hoes soon hell I'm already supplying them with the.Shit
Estafador
12 years ago
A pimp is an employer, not a lover. If he's also her lover, he's doing a piss poor job at being a pimp. Girls get involved with pimps not for romanticism, but simply for the duckets, the dinero, the dollar bills. They know these pimps have no care for them other than they must not be harmed by others that's not him/her (I'm sure somewhere out there, there's a female pimpette). They know their treated as merchendise but they are pursuaded to join him because he's protection, giving them a place to stay and giving these hoes clients to make bread. That or putting them on the right corners where they know men will come looking for a hoe. So I doubt they have their pimp's name on their skin. I'd recommend you watch Boondocks episode "Guess Hoe's coming to dinner" for a funnier rendition
Doc_Holliday
12 years ago
I think it's less of a 'save a hoe' thing and more of a 'whip a guy's ass who can't fight in his own weight' case. If it were a 250lb gorilla kicking the shit out of a 120 lb midget dude, I'd also get involved. ...I'd also use a barstool or something to make up the 75 lb difference. I got bullied in jr high and it stopped when I finally hit my bully first month of high school. I got my ass beat, but fighting back and busting his lip surprisingly change his view of me. Anyway, fuck bullies.
jester214
12 years ago
It would depend on the situation. I have a card in my wallet with the phone number for a battered women's shelter, I also know where it's located. I'd be more than happy to help any woman get there and down the road if I could help in some way I certainly would.

Violence against women is second only to violence against children on my list of repugnant things.

If I see it happening or even think it will happen, I will (and have) become involved. Maybe just stand there and watch or call in a domestic dispute to the police. But I won't shy from intervening physically if need be. If that makes me a 'captain save a ho' then I'll wear that badge with honor. I'd do the same thing regardless of sex with anyone who couldn't defend themselves.
stenton1
12 years ago
No. You've got everything to lose and absolutely nothing to gain, besides a hole in your head over stripper shit. If its that bad, call the police.
No one ever told you, but Captain Save A Hoe was found slain in the streets! Imagine how your obituary would read. Be smart about this.
Tiredtraveler
12 years ago
As much I hate to say it Jerkison is correct. Getting involved is a ticket to trouble. The most I would do is to tell her to bail on the abuser, call the cops or bouncer depending on the location. I learned that lesson 35 years ago when a guy pointed a .45 in my face in a bar when I was a dumb college kid who thought he was a bad ass save the girl type. You never know who is packing and if you get involved with strangers you better be ready to get you ass kicked or shot.
Alucard
12 years ago
You have to deal with life NO matter where you are, in the Streets or not jerikson40.
motorhead
12 years ago
here's the thing....even if you help her this time, she's gonna go back to him
jerikson40
12 years ago
"As much I hate to say it Jerkison is correct"

Why do you hate to say it?
Dougster
12 years ago
The sad truth is that if you do try to help them they probably won't listen to you, or, for some other reason it won't work.

Now if I could would I? Maybe depends on the cost to me and risk I would put myself out.

In general, there are plenty of serious problems with the world I know about, but do nothing about. I give a bit to charties but really not much at this point in my life. (My goal is to get rich by doing the opposite of whatever txtittyfan advises financial. At that point starting giving to and helping out charities and other causes more.)
farmerart
12 years ago
I will agree with jerikson40 about not intervening in individual cases. In the scrappin' days of my youth I did this more than once (not with strippers, in regular bars). It never turned out well.

Strange as it may sound coming from a horndog like me I am sorely affected by abuse of women. One of the beneficiaries of my charitable donations is the local women's shelter. I even pass on excess produce from my garden to the shelter - potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, cabbage.
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
Like I.said and please listen taken a pumps hoe is a death sentance...
gatorfan
12 years ago
If you are the one beating her yes get involved
Clubber
12 years ago
Battered women, disgusting! I prefer to eat mine plain!
Papi_Chulo
12 years ago
Pathetically enough – I’ve been there done that.

I very very naively got involved w/ a dancer about 6 years ago that was in an abusive relationship and was “trying” to better her life.

I thought I could help. I did not physically intervene nor confront the guy, but I did invest a significant amount of $$$ (which I could afford at the time) in trying to “help her get a better life’ which she claimed she was trying to do.

Long story short (and believe me it is a long story), she went back to her Mohamed Ali beating baby-daddy after all I invested in trying to “rehabilitate” her - actually, unbenounced to me at the time although I found out later, she had gone back to and been with the beater even while I was helping her and remained with him after I cut ties with her.

So pathetically enough, I am unfortunately not speaking in theory here – I lived it and it was the worst mistake of my life. I have ok intelligence when it comes to book smarts – but as can be judged from some of my actions – I definitely do not have street smarts, or at least not nearly enough of it – wish I would have had TUSCL in my life back then – LOL.

Everything Jerickson40 has said rings true with me and the situation I went thru.

I would say most SC customers have no clue or a good grasp with respect to the lives many of these strippers live and have lived and thus should not even think about stepping into that world and “getting involved” – you will most likely get chewed up and spit out and have nothing to show for it except some scars.
motorhead
12 years ago
Papi_Chulo,

You're not alone man. The story you relate is very similar to something I got involved in. That was before I starting reading TUSCL too. This board has enlightened me.

Years ago my favorite at the time had an abusive babydaddy too. Beat the shit out of every single day in retaliation for her cheating on him. When she finally had enough, a core group of support people tried to help. A very smart, college educated fellow dancer made arrangements for her at a woman's shelter and lined up some part time work for her. Another dancer bought shampoo, toothpaste, and personal items, etc. I sadly supplied some cash. We hatched an "escape plan" to help her get away and we all met up at another dancer's house. A lot of time, effort, and money went into trying to help this girl.

Long story short -- she went back to the ass wipe within a few days. A couple of weeks later I had a several hour conversation with her. She tried to rationalize the beatings by saying "she deserved them". It was at that point I gave up trying to be the white knight and started on the road to reality. We all make mistakes.

It wasn't just me that was pissed. Her dancer friends felt used and betrayed too.
Alucard
12 years ago
Is it perhaps because of the attitude you portray here?

For as long as you have been trashing txtittyfan's financial position, I'd have thought that you were VERY rich by now Dougster. LOL I guess your ideas are not too good either. :))
Dougster
12 years ago
Alutard sticking up for tittyfuck. Confirms my suspicion that they are lovers. Good thing homos can't reproduce else they would be adding way too many idiot genes to the gene pool between the both of them!
jester214
12 years ago
Monetary help is never the help an abused woman needs, at least not initially. If they request it or imply it, they are scamming you.
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
Haaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!
TortillaChip
12 years ago
Alucard can relate to the working poor as he spends a significant share of his income on hookers. He works to get laid once every two weeks.

As for battered women, help if you safely can and feel you must but just remember the Rihanna rule, they always go back to the abuser.
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