Mileage

jerikson40
New York
Now, I know I'm not a regular here, and kind new, but I've noticed that there seems to be a bit of confusion goin' 'round about strip club "mileage". I thought it was pretty clear, and universally understood. But now I don't think so.

So let's run thru the basics to make sure we're all on the same page, 'cuz this shit is important, and any confusion can really mess things up.

First of all, when you're talking about strip clubs, you're talking about either lap dances, or extras. Lap dances can vary dramatically, and there's a scale you use to describe the lap dance. Extras, on the other hand, are sex. Extras are a BJ, or Full Service, or other form of penetration.

Now, a lap dance can be can generally described with the following terms:

Air dance: Just what it implies, dancer keeps air between her and you. Maybe an incidental nipple brushed across your lips, or short brush of her butt with your crotch, but there ain't no way she's gonna encourage you to get wood.

Low Mileage: One step up from an air dance, where she'll occasionally make some contact, but she is making absolutely sure that she, in no way, gets you too excited. And if, god forbid, you were to get wood and then splooge in your pants, she'd respond with a shriek and "EWWW !!! That's GROSS !!" and run screaming to the manager. And she might let you touch her a little, but only her leg or her waist, but that's it.

High Mileage: Here the dancer gives you a good grind, lots of contact, butt grinding against your crotch, riding you cowgirl and reverse cowgirl style, pushing her tits in your face, trying to be hot and sexy. And she'll let you touch her on most of her body, but probably not the pussy. And it may even be hot enough that you'd be able to squeeze out a splooge your pants, but it would require some work. However, either due to lack of skill or lack of intent, she probably doesn't want you to get too excited and cum in your pants. So she'll break up her grinding so that you can't get into it long enough to splooge.

Very High Mileage: Now this is where things change completely. With a very high mileage dance, the dancer is TRYING to make you cum in your pants. She'll stroke your dick thru your pants, and reach inside your shorts and jack you off, she'll give you a clothed tittie fuck, simulate a BJ thru your shorts, and do all kinds of fun and nasty stuff with the intent of making you splooge. But there is minimal nudity and skin-to-skin contact.

Ultra High Mileage: And this is the ultimate lap dance, where it's no holds barred. She takes your dick out, pulls your pants down, makes you suck her tits, brings out the lotion, rubs your dick against her naked cooch, slides it between her naked butt cheeks, gives you a hand job, etc. You WILL splooge with a UHM dance. There is lots of nudity and skin-to-skin contact. However, it is NOT full sex. It's still a lap dance.

Extras: Sex. Insertion. Dick in mouth, dick in cooch, dick in butt. Extras generally have a completely different pricing structure from a lap dance.


I hope this clarifies things. I've noticed that people describing very high mileage lap dances tend to associate that with extras, which really isn't the case. A lap dance is a lap dance, and extras are extras.

41 comments

Latest

Alucard
12 years ago
I know all about Mileage. Talking down to people won't get you very far.
pabloantonio
12 years ago
Check the glossary. Pretty much everybody has the same definitions as you.
steve229
12 years ago

I thought it was city, highway and combined?
GoVikings
12 years ago
Good post, jerkison. Sadly, I can say that I've never experienced the "very high or ultra high mileage" on your scale. :( But that's because of location: I live in Virginia.
jerikson40
12 years ago
"Pretty much everybody has the same definitions as you"

Maybe, but I really doubt it. Based on the reviews I see here, people are all over the place. You read stuff like "great mileage", "good laps", and other meaningless descriptions. And often it's for clubs with little more than air dances. And then they talk about "high mileage", and later you realize they're referring to FS.

Sure, some people probably aren't as anal about it as me and others, but it would be nice if people gave a bit more useful information in the reviews rather than some general, fairly meaningless fluff.
georgmicrodong
12 years ago
I don't know, dude. IMO, mileage is more about how much *I* can touch her, rather than her me. If she lets me play with everything, but not get my fingers wet, that's "high" for me. "Ultra high" is when she lets my fingers inside.

As well, I think the question of mileage is separate from whether or not your dick is out, or you lamely nut in your pants.
Clackport
12 years ago
Lol this shit is funny. Pushing her tits in your face is high mileage? LMAO. I guess every single dance I've ever gotten has been high mileage. A clothed tittie fuck is ultra high mileage. What's next, a dancer letting you suck her tits is an extra? LOL. Thanks for giving me a good laugh today Jerkison.
jerikson40
12 years ago
Ahh...so apparently not everyone has the same definitions...

And ranukam, that's not what I said, but you've got an axe to grind, so grind away.
windowsidiot
12 years ago
I agree with Jerikson 40. Some consistency of definition is useful. Low mileage in Detroit would be high mileage in Virginia or, unfortunately, Nebraska. I used to travel quite a bit and stopped at some clubs described as high and found touching a breast or upper thigh got the bouncers rabid. The dancers are not always helpful since they want the $$$. I no longer travel for job so know what to expect from regular clubs but I once attempted a boob touch, over the bikini top, in a new club and was told she was "not a prostitute". To much info could bring LE interest but I appreciate knowing what to expect before I travel and shell out hard earned cash. My opinion.
Dain
12 years ago
Nice clarification, jerkison. I do tend to use "UHM" for FS and BJ.
inno123
12 years ago
My general understanding was that mileage was both a matter of how much she touches you but also how much you are allowed to touch her with your hands or mouth.

In addition I think most people would regard an outside-the-pants HJ as an extra.

In my definition the dividing line is as long as the dick stays in the pants it is mileage. If the dick is out of the pants it is an extra.
rickdugan
12 years ago
I'm not drunk enough yet to bother reading that whole post, but I'm not really sure that I need anyone else telling me what constitutes "extras" and "mileage."
Dougster
12 years ago
Think your definitions are s little weaker than the accepted. I think them trying to make you cum in your pants is standard, for instance. Won't call it high mileage. High mileage would include FS. UHM would br when they let you fuck them in the ass and/or BBFS.
jackslash
12 years ago
Mileage = Miles Traveled / Gallons Consumed
mmdv26
12 years ago
I doubt that an EXACT definition of mileage or extra's is necessary.
jester214
12 years ago
This debate had been had before. It's all variable. What's "high" in North Dakota is "low" in Florida, just making up an example. The same goes for the definition of extras as that can be all over the place. Many consider a HJ an extra. You'll never get a consensus because, geographically, some people will never experience some of the levels you've mentioned.

On another note Alucard telling someone not to talk down to others? LOL.
jerikson40
12 years ago
No matter what people's personal preferences are regarding the definition of each term, what's important is AGREEMENT. If we can AGREE on something, whatever it is, instead of busting everyone's ass for not agreeing with their definitions, then at least we can all talk meaningfully in our reviews.

However, if you're more concerned with being right, then we'll never agree, and the reviews might be something less than useful. Which is fine if you don't care, but my point is this:

It can't HURT to have an agreed upon set of terms, can it? Even if you personally don't think HM should include direct stroking of the penile member above third vein from the base because it's too close to the head, which implies VHM.

I don't care what terms we decide upon, but at least let's decide on SOMETHING that is clear enough that we can refer people to.
jester214
12 years ago
In a perfect world? Sure, it'd be nice to have some sort of scale. But A. a realistic scale is impossible/impractical B. (more importantly) getting people to use any scale is impossible.
crazyjoe
12 years ago
if a stripper farts during a dance is that bad gas milage?
tripsnagger
12 years ago
People, the whole purpose of communication is to relay information accurately. What good does it do to argue the meaning of a certain term? It doesn't matter what activities are listed under each title. What matters is that we all understand what is MEANT by each title. So when one guy says HM, we all know what he's talking about. Accurately relaying Information. Like a whole country speaking the same language. I think jerikson40 is just trying to help everyone understand each other. It's going to get worked out so either be constructive or find something else to bitch about. You're part of the problem if you're not part of the solution.
jerikson40
12 years ago
Naw, nevermind, it's like herding cats around here. Most of these guys are more concerned with how they're gonna up with their ATF's rent money each month.
MADDOG_ROMEO
12 years ago
Painfully (lol) I have to agree with jerikson's attempt at defining this shit. This comes with the understanding that we're treating certain regional and geographical differences as outliers to the discussion. That said, there is one clear area that I'd debate and that is as GMD says - the dick is out. To me, that crosses the line from "Mileage" into "Extras" territoty all day long.
mikeya02
12 years ago
Jerikson, all that typing and it comes down to your last sentence. Cock in pants, its a lap dance with great grinding and touching and licking or it isnt. Cock out of pants and she does something to it, its an extra. Don't blame you for attempting to understand the mileage code.
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
Govikins I've seen you adventure into north Carolina from time to time if some how you van manage it one more state down in south Carolina you would see and experience the extras and the ultra high mileage dances
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
Jerkins good post and much needed cuz I agree some reviewers are not getting the words and diffencions correctly....its a lot like my spelling lol
vincemichaels
12 years ago
What, juice, ma man? I understand perfectly what you type on that mobile device ! LOL
staxwell
12 years ago
Lol @ crazyjoe
JuiceBox69
12 years ago
Thanks vince . )
Estafador
12 years ago
You sir have opened my eyes. The new guy has learned a lot today. Alucard seems to forget that new people (such as myself) show up on this site bi-daily so this sort of information is highly appreciated.
Estafador
12 years ago
though according to these definition, I get VERY High Milage, although she never went inside my pants for that. Too many people around for that one. But she put her titties in my face, foribly in my mouth (after reading from here when that happened, I felt gross. How often does she clean those boobs on the job), grinded me hard body, stroked me, even gave me a quick peck on the lips (I was confused between feeling disgusted and happy). I'm not sure whether she gave me a clother BJ or not, not sure what you mean by that for me to be sure. Though me being me, I never splooge. Who splooges on an LD of ANY kind?
staxwell
12 years ago
Estafador, You think that was gross... ask Shadowcat about the girl walking straight out of a VIP session with him and making out with another customer. Sick.
Estafador
12 years ago
I see......next time I see a stripper I'm telling that bitch "DID YOU BRING MOUTHWASH WITH YA". Still unsure how I should feel about that peck though.
farmerart
12 years ago
As I have observed before there is no mileage in Canada.

We use kilometres here.
jabthehut
12 years ago
Ah! Good ol' kilometerage, eh?
jabthehut
12 years ago
A great way to stop high mileage is to say that a stripper gave you a BJ in the VIP in a review. You do know that club owners/managers read the reviews of their club.
Nicolette1982
12 years ago
Fuck they guy i want his money not him .i play him like i w him but idont
Nicolette1982
12 years ago
Fuck they guy i want his money not him .i play him like i w him but idont
Alucard
12 years ago
Nicolette1982 you will need to learn to write if you want my money. And an attitude change might help. :))
gammanu95
6 years ago
Alucard was a grumpy old fuck, wasn't he? Jerikson sounds like a pandering douchebag, but Alucard hates everybody.
3LeggedMan
6 years ago
Jerikson, nice attempt to herd them cats. Mikeya02, that’s a great dividing line: cock in the pants or out? Gee, this thread IS a golden oldie!
3LeggedMan
6 years ago
One other thought on mileage. DO NOT EVER attempt manoevers defined as more advanced than “low mileage” in a standard lap dance area during a 2-for-1 promotion. Bouncers and dancers alike all wanna see you pay top dollar for the good stuff.
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