Anyone have any suggestions on how to let a dancer know that you aren't interested in her sitting down or a dance in a nice way. I consider myself a nice guy and lots of times end up with some girl just sitting there while the one I want walks past. Have trouble being rude. Also hope this doesn't offend anyone but I'm just not into black dancers and I have a problem telling them in a nice way. Any suggestions.
It's hard for us nice guys to tell a pushy dancer to get lost, but, as a customer, you have every right to enjoy yourself withing the rules of the club. You are not there to keep a dancer occupied or listen to her whine until you buy a dance. Don't ever feel bad about a firm, but polite, "No thank you." Anything less and you will be stuck with a dancer who will pester you for dances until you leave the club.
I tell her I'm saving the seat for somebody, which sounds more in charge than waiting for somebody. If she asks who and you don't want to name anyone, you can say there are two or three girls you have in mind, which, in my case, it's usually pretty close to the truth. This works without any awkwardness, whether she's about to sit down or has already done so without permission.
Usually, a "no thanks" or "I'm sorry, but you're just not my type" works.
In more extreme situations, where she just doesn't get the hint, I've used something like "I realize this is a financial situation, and I wouldn't be offended if you went looking for someone who was going to pay for a dance."
At the risk of sounding like our resident troll why don't you just man up and politely say "no thank you". This covers all situations and then you don't have to lie or make up bullshit stories. If she gets pissed off so be it.
Thanks guys. Generally my reply when I just get into a club is that I'm just getting my bearing and to come back later. That usually works. My problem is when you've been there a while and are scouting out for your fav or a new potential fav and one plops down next to you and isn't your type and just won't leave. I've had a few plop down on my lap and not leave but this can be tolerated for at least a few minutes at the right club. lol
The waiting for a dancer line has worked for me roughly 10,000 times so I would use that as much as I could. The other line that works, espesh if it's true is I juss walked in tne door and am trying to get a lay of the land. NEVER tell a stripper that she isn't your type (and why) is what was told to me by someone.
G99: Although you didn't say so, I'm assuming that she plopped down next to you, you said a simple "no thanks", yet she continued to sit next to you. I've had that happen to me, it sucks, but generally after a few minutes, they leave. In 1 case where it wasn't going to happen ( this was a PR seat), I just asked the dancer on stage for a lapdance when she was finished with her set. The dancer on stage kinda knew me from prior visit, and actually was a mediocre dancer, but would suit this moment just fine. Well, the uninvited sitter got PO'd, but I told her that I knew----, and thus diffused a potentially sticky scene.
My usual method is to sit stageside, that tends to cut down on opportunistic dancers glomming onto you, but a polite yet unambiguous "no thanks" is probably the best defense.
I've used the "waiting for a dancer" response & sometimes am asked who so I tell them. If I dont' use that response I just say "No, not right now, thank you." That seems to satisfy the majority of the dancers at my favorite club.
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last commentIn more extreme situations, where she just doesn't get the hint, I've used something like "I realize this is a financial situation, and I wouldn't be offended if you went looking for someone who was going to pay for a dance."
Good heavens.
Telling them you are waiting for someone opens the door for them to ask "who"? (This has happened to me).
My best way to handle this is just a firm, "No, thanks," said in a way to indicate that this is not open to debate/discussion.