tuscl

Stupid question about a dancer I just met

Tuesday, July 10, 2012 3:34 AM
Hi all First please let me apologize for this question as I suspect I already know the answer but it's really bugging me so I want the opinions of people more experienced than me with this stuff. I will try (and fail) to keep this as short as possible so I don't bore you all to death over something which is probably really simple. Basically I was in a stag group that visited a club over the weekend and as is tradition we ended up in a strip club at the end of the night. I had decided before that I wasn't going to get a dance and was doing really well until I mentioned to one of my friends that this particular girl happened to tick every one of my boxes as she walked past. Seeing my weakness and finding it funny to embarrass me he calls out to her and insists I have a dance. Seeing her face to face I give in pay up and have a great 5 minutes before returning to my table. 2 minutes later she walks past me barely looks over and carries on with her job so I chalk it up to a nice experience and get back to my beer thinking nothing else of it. A couple of hours pass and we have been talking to loads of girls who mostly offer us a dance, we mostly say no and they go onto the next table. This carries on until a few girls stick around (it's around 3am now) and we all just chat. After a while one of them gets a bit forward and says to me she wants to show me some moves and as I like her I don't want to be mean and I tell her I only have eyes for one girl here (the girl I had a dance with earlier). So I'm forced to point her out to this other girl who then insists on calling her over to me again. Much blushing on my part follows and again I end up falling into her trap and get a dance that follows the pattern of the first, both were great btw. As we part ways for a second time I tell her I think she is amazing, she seems a bit blushy but says thanks gives me a brief hug and walks off. Again I think oh well before joining my table while we polish the last few drinks off. We are just thinking of leaving and this girl is called up on stage to do a routine so we stick around to watch it. Now this is the bit that has got me as through her entire routine her eyes are locked directly at me. This is infront of the whole club and is so obvious pretty much everyone in there is looking over at me to see what she is staring at. Now I know that it likely she was just trying to ensure I return another time but it was intense enough to get my attention and I can't seem to shake the moment off. I have never dated a dancer before and to be honest always considered them unattainable but this girl has really got me wanting to look her up. I know I'm a moron who has just fallen of her wise game but I can't really understand why she looked at me that way? I'm pretty sure I told her I lived quite far away and a return visit there would be unlikely. Anyway sorry to bore anyone still reading this and those that gave up long ago. I just hate not being able to understand stuff like this! Hopefully I will have some better/shorter posts in the future.

40 comments

  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "I know I'm a moron who has just fallen of her wise game but I can't really understand why she looked at me that way? " Very simple. She is looking for more $$$. Don't know what you have at home, in terms of a possible S.O., but BE careful!
  • motorhead
    •
    12 years ago
    I'm not going to answer your question - as you said, you probably already know answer. Others on this board will provide an appropriate answer. Why did you decide beforehand not to get a dance? Are you in a committed relationship and felt like it would be cheating?
  • gatorfan
    •
    12 years ago
    fill in the last word Lying Thieving Blank
  • Sammy77
    •
    12 years ago
    Thanks for the replies all! Just what I thought really although I still don't really understand it as surely drawing that much attention to looking at me could put off others but I doubt I will ever understand what goes on in any woman's head. To be honest there is an S.O involved and a good one so I will draw a line under the whole thing now I think. Like I said though this girl literally ticked every box for me which is something I don't come across very often. Thanks again.
  • steve229
    •
    12 years ago
    "Through her entire routine her eyes are locked directly at me. This is infront of the whole club and is so obvious pretty much everyone in there is looking over at me to see what she is staring at." And she'll tease you, She'll unease you All the better just to please you She's precocious, and she knows just What it takes to make a pro blush She's got Greta Garbo stand off sighs, She's got Bette Davis eyes...
  • Sammy77
    •
    12 years ago
    HAHAHA! Yep I get what you're saying and I agree I'm a moron for falling for it!
  • sinclair
    •
    12 years ago
    You are still living off the "strip club high" she gave you over the weekend. She was very good at her craft. Give it a week a two and you'll quit thinking about her.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "And she'll tease you, She'll unease you All the better just to please you She's precocious, and she knows just What it takes to make a pro blush She's got Greta Garbo stand off sighs, She's got Bette Davis eyes..." I actually saw Kim Carnes perform that song in Concert many Moons ago at The University of Toledo. She was the warm up act.
  • SuperDude
    •
    12 years ago
    Working you to be a RIL.
  • Sammy77
    •
    12 years ago
    RIL?
  • 3LeggedMan
    •
    12 years ago
    Regular In Love. Thank your stars you don't live nearby.
  • Sammy77
    •
    12 years ago
    Yeah OK it's pretty much what I thought then. The shocking thing is it almost worked on me and while I'm not a regular at these places I thought I was fairly clued up to most of the tricks of the trade! I guess I maybe able to take a bit of comfort that if she wanted me as a "RIL" I can't have completely repulsed her, especially considering I only gave her £40 for the 2 dances and I did tell her I live a long way away. Thanks for the replies everyone.
  • endlesstempo
    •
    12 years ago
    Definitely been there before. Always approach things as cynically as possible in my opinion unless you know the dancer (even then, sometimes it only means you have to be even more cynical). Her being locked on to you is cool, no doubt. If I were in the club I'd enjoy the moment, maybe get a few more dances, and let that be it. Don't let her fool you even for a second that she's actually interested. She knows you like her and will try to get whatever she can from it. Only way I would ever consider suggesting a relationship with a dancer is if you have met up outside the club for an unpaid activity (meaning you're not paying for her time) that you both still seem to enjoy. Considering the rarity of that occurrence, enjoy the club, and when it's done, it's done.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "I guess I maybe able to take a bit of comfort that if she wanted me as a "RIL" I can't have completely repulsed her" She doesn't likely care about your looks Sir. But if you can have a friendly talk, that's fine. Even enjoy her body & see her often if you must, BUT keep it a Customer/Dancer strict business thing!
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    12 years ago
    “Now I know that it likely she was just trying to ensure I return another time but it was intense enough to get my attention and I can't seem to shake the moment off. “ Many of us, when we were not too experienced in the SC game, have been in that situation where we thought that a dancer “was into us” – this is not that rare – what is rare is that the dancer is GENUINELY into us. You said that you were embarrassed and you blushed etc; she probably picked up on that and that made you an easy target/prey for her deceit/game. “I have never dated a dancer before and to be honest always considered them unattainable but this girl has really got me wanting to look her up.” The name of the game is $$$ - if you have $$$, you can often get (actually rent) the woman/dancer of your dreams – hot dancers are not that unattainable if you are willing to spend $$$ - if you read TUSCL long enough you’ll pick up on that and how it’s done. Like others have said, you can try to “date” a dancer - but a pretty surefire way to know if she is dating you for you and not your cash is to not give her any $$$ or get caught up in her sob (often untrue) stories and ending up paying some of her bills.
  • steve229
    •
    12 years ago
    " actually saw Kim Carnes perform that song in Concert many Moons ago" Taylor Swift has a credible cover version on her live "Speak Now" album. While introducing the song, however, she felt it necessary to note it was written eight years before she was born. Sheesh!
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "Taylor Swift has a credible cover version on her live "Speak Now" album. While introducing the song, however, she felt it necessary to note it was written eight years before she was born. Sheesh!" I'll take Kim's version only! I wonder how many members here EVEN know who Bette Davis is!!!! LOL
  • Sammy77
    •
    12 years ago
    Am I correct in assuming everyone that has posted here is male? I was kind of hoping for a female perspective (ideally a dancer) although I doubt it would be different I'm still intrigued for some reason.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    Sammy77, if you do indeed wish a female perspective (ideally a dancer), then PM Stiletto25. Unless she happens to comment publicly in this thread. She is a Dancer with a wise head on her shoulders. You should get valuable advice if she wishes to talk with you.
  • Sammy77
    •
    12 years ago
    Thanks Alucard, hopefully she sees this on her own and decides to comment or PM me as I wouldn't want to pester her.
  • steve3003
    •
    12 years ago
    @Alucard and @steve229: you guys (I'm making an assumption here) need to listen to normal guy music.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    And what the hell is "normal guy music"?!? Certainly NOT today's POS music! I'll listen to MY favorite Music, NOT what someone else thinks I should listen to or whats me to listen to.
  • steve229
    •
    12 years ago
    @steve3003 - Don't mind Alucard. Really, thanks for the tip. Gee, maybe you can suggest some artists I should be listening to? I'm still kinda new at this whole "music" thing...
  • Sammy77
    •
    12 years ago
    Thought I'd update this for anyone interested. So I decided what the hell I am going to look her up, she had made it easy by actually giving me her real name which was a surprise to be honest. Turns out she has a boyfriend so it was all about the money. Rookie mistake on my part for even thinking there may have been more to it but you live and learn I suppose, it was a cool moment so I'm just gonna enjoy it. Thanks again for everyone's input.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "she had made it easy by actually giving me her real name which was a surprise to be honest" How do you know it was her Real Name? She could tell you anything. On my 3 ATF's I saw their Real Names on pieces of USPS mail, so I was able to verify what they told me was true. No music recommendations. I still have not gotten an answer to what "normal guy music" is.
  • EarlTee
    •
    12 years ago
    A recent FarmerArt thread established conclusively that Roam by the B52s is normal guy music. [view link]
  • Bishop4224
    •
    12 years ago
    "Turns out she has a boyfriend so it was all about the money." I am Jack's complete lack of surprise. Seriously, you have to go in as the most cynical MFer there. If she has any real interest, she's probably smart enough to know she needs to make the first real & convincing move since while there are plenty of suckers, enough of the customers know how the game is played.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "A recent FarmerArt thread established conclusively that Roam by the B52s is normal guy music" I differ on that conclusion. BUT I'm not a "Normal" TUSCL guy anyways and Damned Proud of IT!!! LMAO!
  • Sammy77
    •
    12 years ago
    "How do you know it was her Real Name? She could tell you anything." It was strange really as everyone was calling her one thing but when I asked her what her name was she said it was something else. At the time I thought they were all lying (as they probably should) but I looked her up using the name she gave me and there she was in several obvious places, very easy to find and confirm just like anyone with their full name. For a bit of good man music try the Killers 1st album.
  • steve229
    •
    12 years ago
    The Killers?? Are we human, or are we dancer?
  • Stiletto25
    •
    12 years ago
    I wish I had seen this sooner and youre not going to bother me if you pm me Sammy. Shes probably just working you. If she knows you really like her, she sees money opportunity. Yes, you may live a ways away but you'd be surprised what customers will do to see dancers. Now if she did have interest in you as something possibly more than a customer, she would stop dancing for you and just want to talk to you. She may even take time out of her work routine to talk to you for free. Are you around her same age? Are you attractive (be honest)? Maybe if all those things came together, you may be right in having a suspicion that she likes you. If you really want to find out if she likes you, STOP SPENDING MONEY ON HER!!!!!!!! I cannot emphasize this enough. I really cant.
  • steve3003
    •
    12 years ago
    Was at a SC a couple of months back and that Kim Carnes girly shit from the 80s came on. DJ shouldda been castrated but that's another story. Way too many guys were overly enthusiastic about it (Alucard, steve229, and friends may have been holding a convention) and the girl I was sitting with (who's an angel with Bette Davis eyes) expressed mild amusement. Don't give shit what strippers think but she had a point. New DJ came on, girls were dancing on tailgates and tractors, and the world was righted again.
  • steve229
    •
    12 years ago
    A DJ playing music the customers actually liked? Yeah, I guess that would upset the order of the strip club universe
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "I wish I had seen this sooner and youre not going to bother me if you pm me Sammy. Shes probably just working you. If she knows you really like her, she sees money opportunity. Yes, you may live a ways away but you'd be surprised what customers will do to see dancers. Now if she did have interest in you as something possibly more than a customer, she would stop dancing for you and just want to talk to you. She may even take time out of her work routine to talk to you for free. Are you around her same age? Are you attractive (be honest)? Maybe if all those things came together, you may be right in having a suspicion that she likes you. If you really want to find out if she likes you, STOP SPENDING MONEY ON HER!!!!!!!! I cannot emphasize this enough. I really cant." Take this advice by Stiletto25 to heart. Really take it to heart, it will help you.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "A DJ playing music the customers actually liked? Yeah, I guess that would upset the order of the strip club universe" Especially when said universe is inhabited by persons like steve3003. LOL "Don't give shit what strippers think" That's pretty Obvious!
  • Sammy77
    •
    12 years ago
    "She may even take time out of her work routine to talk to you for free. Are you around her same age? Are you attractive (be honest)? Maybe if all those things came together, you may be right in having a suspicion that she likes you" Thanks for replying Stiletto!! To answer your questions we are around the same age, I am probably a few years older but not many and not wanting to sound like an a-hole I've always done well with women. I didn't get chance to speak to her after her stage dance as it was almost 4am and the bachelor was pretty wreaked so we left before she came back which was annoying to say the least. I'm thinking of going back in a month or two just to see if she remembers me. I know I probably shouldn't (and I won't pay her for anything) but how many chances do you get to meet your perfect woman?
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "but how many chances do you get to meet your perfect woman?" Depends.
  • deogol
    •
    12 years ago
    The more words, the more rationalizing.
  • MADDOG_ROMEO
    •
    12 years ago
    Just catching up to this thread....and that is sage advice indeed from Stiletto (per usual)....and it doesn't hurt to be reminded of that every now and again.... Someone else I highly respect once told me "Unless it's happening outside the club with no money involved - it's not real"....rings true as well....
  • Doc_Holliday
    •
    12 years ago
    Haven't got through the whole thread Sammy, but a couple of quick observations -- one don't be so passive with women. You don't need to be an aggresive shit, but if she, or any woman for that matter, is as perfect a fit as you say, you need to approach them, make it clear you're interested through a couple compliments and genuine questions, and in the case of a stripper, ask her to come by the table when she has the time. Once you get that point across, leave and let them come to you. Second, someone said cynical. I wouldn't say to be cynical, never be cynical; apprciate all the beauty in life, even in the strip club! But certainly always be aware that she is at her job and her job is to sell a fantasy to men. So take everything with a grain of salt, enjoy what happens, get the point across you like her, then let her lead from there.
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