What are considered "extras" & should they be paid for?

Yoda, I only disagree with you in one tiny area - I don't think of breast fondling to be an extra because it's become so common. In many parts of the country it's a standard part of an LD. But I'm probably the person least qualified to talk about extras on this board - other than playing with boobs I've had very little experience with any of the other activities described here. Extras have never been my thing. As you and I have agreed many times before, if I were looking for extras I'd hire an escort.

A fave who dances at other clubs sometimes was telling me about giving a lapdance in a club's VIP when the girl at the next couch started giving the guy a blowjob. Her guy asked her how much for that? She said, "Oh that? That comes with the dance." He hemmed and hawed for a second, and she said, "Did you want that? You should have said something. It's too late now." She doesn't dance there often, so she doesn't have to deal with the effect of her misinformation.

FONDL: I almost went there in my post, I was thinking the same thing. I think a HJ is still an extra no matter how many lady's are offering them. I guess I would consider any form of contact where willie gets freed or a womans genitals or breasts are fondled or licked to be an extra. Things like stick shifting through clothing may be a little more of a grey area.

I guess I would mostly agree with Chandler and Yoda, especially since they're agreeing with me. But I'd carve out an exception for the extras club, that is a club where practically all the girls are giving extras as defined in my earlier posts. So even though HJs and BJs may be the norm in a particular club, I'd still consider them to be extras. So maybe the term has 2 somewhat different meanings.

I would tend to agree with FONDL and Chandler. My understanding of an extra (until the advent of the internet and local, regional and national chat boards) was that it was any activity not normally considered part of a dance in a given club. In no-contact Mass clubs a dancer even touching you is actually an extra. I do still think however that you don't have to PAY extra for it to be considered to be an extra.

FONDL, that's always been my understanding of the meaning. "Extra" only makes sense as a relative term. This board is the first place I've seen it assumed to have a standard national meaning. That was the revision.

I agree that it's becoming less clear what is and what is not an extra. At one time rubbing Mr. Happy throught the clothing would have probably been considered an extra in many places but now it's so common that it isn't. HJs are probably also becoming questionable. So it's getting harder (no pun intended) to determine what is and what isn't. Maybe we should revise the definition to mean anything beyond the norm for any given club. So maybe what is an extra in some clubs isn't in others. It's hard to consider something an extra if everyone is doing it.

This is always an interesting topic. I tend to agree that anything other than the standard dance is an 'extra'. However I was in a club several years ago that has since changed it's format. It had an upstairs VIP with private rooms. I took a pretty brunette up there (who had been reviewed well on this site). She suggested that we wait for the next song and cuddled up close. I asked her about her dances and what kind of 'extras' she might do.
She was taken back and said she didn't do extras. I told her I guess I had the wrong girl. Then she said the dances were 3 for $50 topless or 5 for $100 nude or 5 for $150 with a bbbj or hj - my choice nude. I was taken back and said but I thought you didn't do extras, she said those aren't extras they are part of the dance for that price lol she said extras would be like anal or girl on girl or something freaky lol so I guess extras are all in the eye of the person doing and receiving. So I went for the non extra dance every time she was working.

Since we've had this conversation before and come to similar conclusions (an extra is technically anything above and beyond the normal rules/dances of the club and need not be paid for to be an extra, but should be rewarded by an extra tip or more dances), I'll re-iterate that the operative definition on this board seems to be when the act crosses into illegality. This usually means contact with the genitals on either the dancer or the customer's part.

Nice try to save face, chandler. You are the f'in joke.

Yoda: It was a joke.

I agree with Yoda, money has nothing to do with whether or not it's an extra. My definition of an extra is any activity that involves intentional direct skin-to-skin contact with Mr. Happy by a dancer inside a club. And I think that one way or another it is almost always going to be paid for, usually either by purchasing an expensive session in a VIP-type room or by giving an extra tip. But even if it's done during a standard LD or just sitting at a table without extra payment, it's the act itself, not how or even if it is paid for, that determines if it's an extra. It's illegal most places and it's meets many people's definition of prostitution. Who cares?

Well, that's not entirely true Chandler. If you pay for a lap dance and she gives you BJ during the dance it's prostitution. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I also don't agree that if you don't pay for it it's not an extra. The term extra is means extra service, not extra money. A sex act is considered an extra because it's not part of what a dancer is normally expected to do during the dance. Weather you pay her extra for it or not is a different issue.

Do I really care? No, not really. As long as I'm getting what I want I could care less what others call it or how it is classified.

What's more, if you don't pay for it, it can't be prostitution.

Bones, rules and resentment often go together, the first inevitably leading to the second. For any set of rules there will be almost always be people who agree with them and follow them, and other people who disagree and ignore them. And the former group of people will resent the latter group, especially where the latter group gains an advantage by breaking the rules (eg. think of a college exam where some students cheat and others don't.) Strip clubs are an obvious example of this. In a club the girls who like the rules and want to see them enforced will always resent the girls who make more money by breaking the rules. And management is often powerless to enforce their own rules, because doing so is not only expensive (added bouncers, cameras etc. that a lot of smaller clubs can't afford) but would cost them business as well, since a lot of customers like us prefer clubs where rules aren't enforced very rigidly. Club management often has little power to make and enforce the rules if they want to make any money. The inmates are running the asylum.

I have gotten HJ's as extra & I usually, but not always, tip extra for that. HJ is about as much as I expect in light of other dancers watching. I had one dancer who slipped willy into her mouth but that was for lubrication for a HJ. A tip was forthcoming, naturally!
I don't consider touching the kitty thru or under the thong an extra. I will try it with a dancer & if it's rejected, so be it. If she touches willy thru or up the pants leg I don't consider that an extra. I can recall one dancer who will go up the pants leg but always wants a tip in return & I give it.
As far as FF, forget about it ever happening-too many prying eyes!

Yoda: "There are as many definitions as there are dancers and customers of what an extra is. "

This is the kind of cute hyperbole that Yoda is reknowned for. As many defintions as there are dancers and customers? How many strippers are there in the US? Certainly in the thousands. Probably at least 10,000. How many customers? Probabily in the millions? So there are millions of definitions of what extras are? Let's get real. Maybe a few dozen. A HJ? A BJ? FS? DFK? DATY? No way we are stretching this list into the "millions".

Cute saying Yoda, but why not try and drop the cuteness every once in a while and be ACCURATE?

Who is she complaining to? You, other dancers or management? Who raises the issue? You, her or other customers? It makes a difference.

I think borderline extras are something a stripper should feel free to include when she wants to but shouldn't feel obligated to do. Clubs where girls quote prices for blow jobs, etc., aren't my idea of fun, so I would think that extending it to lesser favors would be a bad idea. And yet I think it's shitty when customers come to expect specific acts as part of a lapdance. Each stripper is different. Enjoy the things she does, or don't buy dances from her. But comparing which girls do or don't let you get to third base is childish for customers and strippers alike.

I think she's just pissed that she's losing money because of that. The second part of the post is the key. Apparently, she's not upset that they are breaking any rules - just that they are doing it in the "cheaper" area.

I think Yoda is right on here...

There are as many definitions as there are dancers and customers of what an extra is. I get them from some ladies and not from others. I don't pay extra for them but I do have to spring for a VIP room to get them most of the time.