You tip a dancer, tell her you're interested in a dance and she still does NOT s

avatar for Electronman
Electronman
Too much of a good thing is never enough
In a separate discussion thread, a poster noted that he had tipped dancers on stage, in this case a relatively generous tip ($5), and told them that he was interested in a private dance but the dancer still did NOT stop by afterwards. So my question is, how common is this and why does it happen?

Several speculations:
1. They have a customer already lined up ahead of you--- this speculation is easily tested--does the dancer immediately head to the VIP with another customer; often not in my experience.
2. They are expecting a regular at a pre-arranged time and they don't want to be busy when their regular arrives
3. They have biases about the customers for whom they will provide a private dance--- some don't like certain racial groups, some have an age preference (sometimes in favor of older and presumably wealthier men), some don't like the way a customer is dressed or have concerns about hygiene
4. The dancer talk among themselves about which customers are more difficult to negotiate with, more specifically, which customers request certain services up front or make low-ball counter offers and the dancers do not approach that customer
5. The dancers have concerns that a customer could be an undercover LEO.

Any other theories, proven or unproven, as to why this might occur?

33 comments

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avatar for Digitech
Digitech
13 years ago
Don't use anything except $1 bills as tips. If you use a $5 or a $10 she won't notice until much later when she's counting it.

I did this myself once, and I've also overheard people complain about dancers 'not noticing I gave her a five.'
avatar for jester214
jester214
13 years ago
Not that common outside of a busy club.

#1 is probably the most likely.

Related to #1 but still different, another customer snags them after they get off stage OR another customer also tipped them and asked for dances.
avatar for big_d_2011
big_d_2011
13 years ago
I have wondered this as well. Most of the time it seems that the girls have been with a regular. There have been a few times where she just went to the Bar or went to sit with other girls. I just waited until someone else I liked came by and they earned my money! I am a fairly attractive guy so I know it is not my appearance or hygiene. It is just the mood of the girl. It can be frustrated but I just move on to the next one...
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
13 years ago
6) She thinks her shit doesn't stink.
avatar for Pablo Antonio
Pablo Antonio
13 years ago
Electron:

In my limited experience, the #1 reason is that they already have someone else either there or about to arrive.

The #2 reason is that they are not interested in you.

Don't get hung up on this, hey you look for dancers who fit your standards, many dancers also look for guys who fit their idea of a good customer.

If you pass the first cut, then the games begin.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
13 years ago
7) they are on drugs or too lazy. I have noticed several of the dancers who hang out in the smoker's patio (columbus0 or the upstairs smoker's bar (detroit) because they are too lazy to go hustle guys for money.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
13 years ago
7) She was very upset because she recently got a margin call because she listened to txtittyfan's advice to short treasuries. She's going to have to give alot of blowjobs now to earn that money back!
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
If any Dancer said she would come by & sit and doesn't after a Stage Tip & request, that is RUDE! If she's NOT interested for ANY reason, she SHOULD NOT say yes to a request to come by & sit.

I guess politeness isn't a virtue for some Dancers.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
13 years ago
Only happen once that I can recall. She was a "10" where she was working. I tipped her on her tip walk $10 a couple of different times. She knew what I gave her. All she ever did was go to the back never to emerge till her next stage set.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
13 years ago
The reason is simple. They are drunken whores.
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
13 years ago
I always think when this happens, it's because a club is crowded and they just forget, or can't remember which customer they are supposed to see. One thing my 4th ATF used to tell guys is to never ask for a dance when she's on stage, because if all the customers asked her, she's screwing someone over, because she can't remember every single guy who asked for a dance. And sometimes they get a customer who comes up to them right at the moment they leave the stage and asks for a dance. Of course, some of it is like what samsung says, they're high (or drunk) or lazy.
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
13 years ago
Dancers, our beloved Stiletto25 aside, are flaky.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
13 years ago
8) She's afraid of that bulge in your pants.
avatar for 3LeggedMan
3LeggedMan
13 years ago
9) Dancer not feeling well, just doing stage sets for a while. May respond differently later.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
"The reason is simple. They are drunken whores."

That's just a GREAT attitude to take jackslash. So your deduction applies to 100% of all Dancers? Hmm...
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
You forgot to wear Axe deodorant

correctionee they are lying thieving whores
avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler
13 years ago
I think the usual reasons are: you don't fit her Type, she only dances for her regulars, or she does not do dances for anyone. I see a lot of girls that go on stage but then just go to the back or go sit and don't do privates at all. I was told by a girl in Club 390 in Chicago when I asked her why a particular dancer did not come and sit with me when I asked her and she told me that the girl almost never does individual dances (she wants-em young, rich, handsome and stupid) and there were a couple of girls that only do privates for their one or two regulars that come in once or twice a week. The rest of the time they do their stage rotation and sit around.
So my advice is attitude is as important as looks.
avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler
13 years ago
I think the usual reasons are: you don't fit her Type, she only dances for her regulars, or she does not do dances for anyone. I see a lot of girls that go on stage but then just go to the back or go sit and don't do privates at all. I was told by a girl in Club 390 in Chicago when I asked her why a particular dancer did not come and sit with me when I asked her and she told me that the girl almost never does individual dances (she wants-em young, rich, handsome and stupid) and there were a couple of girls that only do privates for their one or two regulars that come in once or twice a week. The rest of the time they do their stage rotation and sit around.
So my advice is attitude is as important as looks.
avatar for minnow
minnow
13 years ago
Merely saying one is interested in a dance is a bit open-ended, should be more specific, like " are you available for a dance with me when you finish your set?" Mostly, will get a "yes", or "I'm already with someone, I'll get you when I finish".

But, even then, after a yes answer, a few still flake out, or say they'll be back in dressing room for "a few minutes", and just disappear. IME, the flakeouts generally happened on a crowded night.

So, my theories are either a flakeout by dancer, or she doesn't really want to dance with OP for some reason.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
13 years ago
fa states, "Dancers, our beloved Stiletto25 aside, are flaky."

I wonder if she sits there laughing at us at times knowing that she is just like many others? Personally, I don't think so, but she could be playing us as fools, as do many. Love ya' 25!
avatar for macandbum
macandbum
13 years ago
Like what another said, thy probably don't notice the bill. It would be rude to look at the bill rather than you. Based on my experience, I've tipped three dollars but rolled it up and put it inbetween her tits and told her to come by. Never had a problem when I did that method. Dancers have disappeared when I tipped a single bill and said to come by. Ive also had dancers come and take me for a dance Immediately rather than continuing the tip parade. Like with dancers, patrons are all a gamble. Could be a guy that tips well and goes for dances or a guy that will talk for twenty minutes and get nothing.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
"So my advice is attitude is as important as looks."

True.

Geez, so much cynicism!
avatar for windowsidiot
windowsidiot
13 years ago
I visited one club where nearly all the dancers did their stage time and disappeared to dressing rooms so few LD's. I returned and encountered the same thing. Then I joined TUSCL and found this to be normal at this club. I did not try a third time but I read attendance is down, no surprise. Otherwise I have only been stood up 1 time but I had dances from her before and did not have tip money so she probably assumed the 20 was to compensate and I did see her headed to the LD area after the dance. I would have liked to reconnect though.
Have fun.
avatar for Stiletto25
Stiletto25
13 years ago
@clubber- I do sit and laugh sometimes but its not because I'm like all the other dancers. Lol I'm just kidding ....I don't tell someone I'm going to come see them if I'm not going to. If I can't make it right away, I'll give them a time frame or tell them I'm stuck with someone and that we'll have to catch up next time they come in.

The possibilities are endless as to why a dancer doesn't come to see you after you've tipped and specifically asked. It's not a good idea to keep pursuing them if they don't come over. Its so easy to tell someone why you can't dance with them that it should tell you a little something about how they do business if they blow you off. I'd quit pursuing her and if she wants to dance with you, she'll come over. She should apologize before you dance with her though.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
13 years ago
Sheesh. I bet Chris Fleming doesn't have this problem.

He just thinks about wanting a dance - and within minutes a dancer magically appears before him.
avatar for ButterMan
ButterMan
13 years ago
I have had this happen before. Who knows these girls are flaky as hell! I know they usually come back around at a later date and ask if i want a dollar dance or something. And I always remember! I told one girl i came to your stage and tipped you and told you I wanted a dance and you never came over. She was like when? i just laughed and said no thanks babe..LOL!
avatar for m00tpoint
m00tpoint
13 years ago
#6 You are a couple
Happens A LOT. They just don't want the risk of drama. Drama means it ties up their time and turns other customers off.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
13 years ago
10) She just doesn't fel like it.

11) Her horoscope told her to avoid guys like you.

Who the fuck knows?

Trying to make sense of dancers and their motivations is a pointless exercise in my experience. Not only are a certain % of them flaky, but their moods are subject to change. Any particular girl may or may not have legit reasons for not approaching, but we'll never know what they are anyway.

I simply focus on the ones who demonstrate that they want my money and don't really worry about the ones who don't.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
13 years ago
Could be several reasons. A couple of times a dancer I never tipped said she was looking for me and asked if I was ready to get the dances I asked about. I told her it wasn't me who asked.

Maybe she just forgot. In between dances multiple stages, phone calls in the dressing room or whatever else is going on in between her regulars and other guys asking, I can understand a dancer forgetting one guy tipped her a 5. Maybe she wanted or needed to head out early. Who knows. She may have had 5 regulars and 3 other guys ask her before you.

What I find sometimes amusing is when a dancer has her back turned towards me or doesn't see me approach the stage. A dollar bill or tip falls out on the stage nearby me. I tip her a dollar and she gives me extra attention thinking I threw another dollar out on the stage before that one.

I've seen one guy tip twenty dollar bills. I remember at one point he sat near the stage and tipped every girl that he tipped at least a 20. I continued to sit at the stage and tipped the same dancers a one. They gave me just about the same amount of attention while on stage.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
13 years ago
Other reasons. 1. You smell bad. 2. She doesn't like the way you look.
3. She's pissed off at you because she thinks you're someone else.
4. She's pissed off at someone else but won't tell you and won't do any more dances than she needs for tip out.
I could go on all day.
avatar for silkypants
silkypants
13 years ago
I had a girl last week tell me straight up she was probably not going to come over and see me. She was just too busy with other customers.

A couple of times in my last strip club visits I just met the dancer as she was coming of stage and told her I wanted some dances. On each occasion I was able to get dances from the girl before she went back to the other table and I didn't even tip the $50 the other guys did.

Fair warning when using this strategy, I did this once was a Russian girl in Miami who said it was complicated why she could spend more time with me(Russian Mob), and when I got between someone's $50 and there dancer we actually avoided the main floor to try and hide from her other customers.

Most dancers do more talking with customers than actual dances so they would be more likely to find you if they know you are going to spend money on them.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
"I had a girl last week tell me straight up she was probably not going to come over and see me. She was just too busy with other customers.

This is the kind of Honesty I prefer.
avatar for just_sean
just_sean
13 years ago
I think there aren't any wrong answers here with how unpredictable the reason could really be. She's probably already investing her time with a regular or some one else got to her first.

Being a regular at a club I can tell you that I never go tip the girls when they go on stage or venture to pervert alley and regardless of what any other person tips her up there she'll thank them before heading back to my table. If someone does ask her for a dance they'll come to me and asks my permission which is always cute if you're into that sort of thing. I think a sure thing is better to them than a risky venture.

If I ever do tip on the stage I view it as placing a bid. When I first started going to clubs I had plenty of non-aproachers. I also sent a stripper to tell another stripper that I wanted to do a VIP session and the dancer ended up forgetting about me and my money.

If I get cold shouldered, I move on. Regardless of what could have been the dancer can make her bed and go dance in it. that's why its best to have options I find.
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