So how common is it realy for regular patrons to date dancers ? From the way most of us (me included) talk it sounds the norm....what do you fine men and wemon thank ?
It's pretty common. You may find yourself being their psychoanalyst before its all said and done. Many of them appreciate someone who will just listen to them.
So you mean "date" in the traditional American sense of the word, i.e. as a way to determine whether one wants a more permanent relationship, or the strip club. Session of "date", where the non-stripper is a provider of money or other support in exchange for companionship and/or sex?
I had a nice OTC sugar daddy relationship with FS 4-6 times a month with me providing about $400 in monthly help. It has now morphed into a "mistress" type of relationship where I slend a lot less, get the basically the same amount of sex but spend much more time with her an never know for sure if sex is on the cards any particular night. Hey just like a regular relationship.
I like her but it used to be all about fun and partying. Now her problems have a way of becoming my problems. I miss our old relationship
As much fun as I have OTC while "dating" some of these women, stenton1 is absolutely right. Many of these dancers carry around more baggage than a skycap. If you can deaden your senses and make it thru their many episodes of major drama, it can be well worth it in the long run.
Pretty common for a Dancer to date a patron, but generally not one that has actually PAID to dance with her.. Once you pay for it, your unlikely to get it for free..
I though I was making a sincere effort to get to know xATF in terms of an actual relationship, but it was all SS in the end.
I'm sure it happens, but based on the limited number of dancers I'm friendly with, most seem to want to determine a guy's interest in them before he finds out their occupation. (i.e. that you're not just interested in her because of her job.)
I don't always mind meeting up with a dancer and having some fun. I got concerned back a number of months ago when a dancer seemed serious about dating and told me she didn't have a boyfriend. She still seems interested but I didn't know if I wanted to go there. She keeps asking questions concerned about me hooking up with other dancers. I don't know if she is serious or not or just pretending anymore.
Baggage among dancers seem higher than normal. I rarely encounter a dancer who wants to date. Usually they just want to have sex when they want to meet up. I stopped routinely hanging out with dancers years ago, that is after I left the strip clubs. I never thought hanging out and everything else was a date. Most of the time it was a dancer who talked me into meeting up but several times they didn't tell me why. I used to be very carefree and not worried about anything when I was closer to the same age as many dancers so I'm lucky I didn't get in trouble.
For patrons who go to strip clubs regularly to date (in the normal sense of the word) dancers at said strip clubs?
Extremely rare. "Business" relationships are common, quasi-business relationships are probably more common. True relationships? Rare to non-existent. Anyone who thinks otherwise is probably deluding themselves.
Maybe it varies from area to area but honestly once you are sign as a customer at the club - you do not seem as someone necessarily desirable for them to date. It's not true for all dancers, but many dancers want to date guys who do not go to strip clubs. It may sound hypocritical, but that's what I have observed.
That isn't to say I haven't had my share of OTC - some even 'near' free (as in no cash actually exchanged). But that is not the norm, and you definitely can't just expect a real relationship to blossom out of this.
If all you want is P4P then you can certainly get that (how easy it is varies from area/club) - it may even be better than 'dating' them when you consider everything.
I have never dated a dancer, although I asked one out years ago and it never panned out. I don't think I would do that today. I have had a ton of drama in my last couple of relationships and I have no desire for more. OTC would be fine, no relationship though.
Well, it seems to be pretty common for guys to think they're dating a stripper, lol.
Here's a little test to make sure: If you're a young guy, unemployed, with a criminal record, staying at her house rent free, enjoying frequent unprotected sex with her (and a couple of her friends/sister on the side), and generally treating her like shit while she supports your drug habit, then, yes, you're dating a stripper! Congrats!
Anything else puts you in the "probably deluding themselves" camp.
I know it happens, because my current ATF met her future ex-husband (currently going thru the divorce) at the club when she was dancing, and according to her, he fit Steve229's description perfectly, complete with getting fired from Wal-Mart. And she quit dancing just for him. I guess it wasn't meant to last. And I know other girls at clubs I go to regularly who have talked about their boyfriends, who not surprising are similar to Mr. Fired-by-Wal-Mart. And I've known guys who dated strippers, including a former supervisor at my job. But it never happened to me.
My experience can't help ya here, as I've never dated a dancer....Believe me, I've wanted to a few times but something would always happen with her before reaching that stage (i.e. Excessive Drama, Psycho Behavior, Baggage Manifestation, She Happens to be Engaged, etc)....I'm pretty open minded, so I'm not dead set against it....It's just that I'd much prefer to date inside the club for awhile first....I've had a couple genuine ITC relationships where you could almost call it "Dating" in the traditional sense....But that's likely from just my lowly PL perch and perspective....
After reading these enlightening posts, I would have to say I was in a quasi-business relationship ITC and sometimes OTC. Ultimately she always wanted me to come to the club, which involved late late hours and money I didn't want to spend. Then I became the dumping ground for all of her personal and family problems, which became a Mt Everest of pain. I'm not saying I won't do it again, but I'll throw my game right back at them. Try them out, pretend to care, and head for the hills if it gets too intense.
Non strippers have problems too, but nothing close to these hurt pieces.
I have dated several strippers in the traditional sense. I paid for the dinner and entertainment, but I did not pay the dancer. At the end of the evening I either got sex or not depending on what the girl wanted.
I have to say I enjoyed most of these dates, but I finally realized both the dancer and I were wasting our time. The dancers who didn't accept money were interested in a long term relationship (or marriage!) and they soon began to depend on me like girls do with a boyfriend. What I wanted was sex with a hot stripper and no long term ties.
What's best for me is getting OTC activities that include some dinners and movies and concerts and that always include sex.
"but many dancers want to date guys who do not go to strip clubs. It may sound hypocritical, but that's what I have observed"
"a young guy, unemployed, with a criminal record, staying at her house rent free, enjoying frequent unprotected sex with her (and a couple of her friends/sister on the side), and generally treating her like shit while she supports your drug habit"
Quote #2 seems to be the case quite a lot. And in quote #1, how does the stripper know said civilian BF is NOT going to strip Clubs? She'd have to be physically with him 24/7 to actually know it. And what stripper is with a BF 24/7. She has to work.
Anyone thinking it's rare just hasn't done it. People have this idea that strippers don't date customers, and if they do the guy has to be a piece of shit. This is just another stereotype.
As I'm sure someone has argued before, strippers are people with emotions, desires, etc. just like everyone else (yeah, some are heartless bitches). Customers can become BF's and husbands, due to the fact the most of the girls lives revolve around the club.
Yes, it may be hard for a girl to let that guy go as customer, but they do it. And for the guys who can't wrap their heads around it, saying that it's rare or that it's only a business relationship say that in an attempt to justify why they haven't "dated" any strippers (after starting as customers).
"If you're a young guy, unemployed, with a criminal record, staying at her house rent free, enjoying frequent unprotected sex with her (and a couple of her friends/sister on the side), and generally treating her like shit while she supports your drug habit, then, yes, you're dating a stripper! Congrats!"
I've never noticed, or tried to figure out, how common it is. I am completely uninterested in dating a stripper in any conventional sense of the word. I don't mind seeing one regularly, but it's not for the purpose of finding someone to marry or with whom to spend significant time.
Stax lives in a dreamworld. Or doesn't know what the words common and rare actually mean.
I actually disagree with most of what you said. Especially the part about most dancers lives revolving around the job.
Most peoples lives don't revolve around work. Add in the propensity of them to move from club to club or travel a fair distance to get to their club and the connection is even less.
I don't need to justify why I haven't dated a stripper because I have no desire too. Since I'm not trying to make connections when I go to a club, this really isn't an issue for me. And even if I did, I think I'd have to much of a hang up about the job to date them. (Lots of guys would have the same hang up, another reason it's not common)
I could keep going, but in all likely hood you are one of the deluded ones or else you've convinced yourself you can get one of them to date you. Best of luck to you, watch your wallet.
Well, I'll say that my relationships were more traditional. In 2 cases lasting over a year each, the girl brought up marriage. In both cases, I realized that I must be a pretty f--ked up guy because all I could think about then was how to turn the moment into a BJ...
"Extremely rare""Rare to no existent" In my experience, and the experience of others I know, It's more common than "Extremely rare".
Rare: seldom occurring or found. Is this your definition? As you put it "Rare to no existent", meaning it's as likely to happen as seeing a Pinta Island tortoise, since they are "Rare to no existent".
If a guy says he's dated someone do you just REALLY feel the need to tell him it wasn't real or that he was just a part of a business deal? There's a word for that right? Cynic! Am I using that right, Jester?
Have you ever met someone that seemed to be limited in conversational skills, but when you ask them about work they can go on forever? That's probably because their lives revolve around work. It's all they know, and all they need to know.
You haven't dated a stripper, so when you say the shit you say, you're not really speaking from experience. So that would make it more of a hypothetical statement then, huh? Did I use that right, Jester?
And since when have most guys let "hang ups" stop them from doing shit? Are you saying most guys wouldn't date a stripper if given the chance? Ask around, it's more common than you think...Jester.
@steve: Not quite. :) I just have no need to search for the kind of relationship one is generally searching for when "dating"; I have that with my wife. I want sex, and that's pretty much *all* I want when "dating" a stripper.
I really think that's why my "relationship" with my CF/ATF has worked so well. Neither one of us really wants more than we're getting, and we're both willing to give what we've been giving.
40 comments
If you mean dancer relationships sure shit happens
Oh, wait...
I like her but it used to be all about fun and partying. Now her problems have a way of becoming my problems. I miss our old relationship
I though I was making a sincere effort to get to know xATF in terms of an actual relationship, but it was all SS in the end.
I'm sure it happens, but based on the limited number of dancers I'm friendly with, most seem to want to determine a guy's interest in them before he finds out their occupation. (i.e. that you're not just interested in her because of her job.)
Baggage among dancers seem higher than normal. I rarely encounter a dancer who wants to date. Usually they just want to have sex when they want to meet up. I stopped routinely hanging out with dancers years ago, that is after I left the strip clubs. I never thought hanging out and everything else was a date. Most of the time it was a dancer who talked me into meeting up but several times they didn't tell me why. I used to be very carefree and not worried about anything when I was closer to the same age as many dancers so I'm lucky I didn't get in trouble.
Extremely rare. "Business" relationships are common, quasi-business relationships are probably more common. True relationships? Rare to non-existent. Anyone who thinks otherwise is probably deluding themselves.
That isn't to say I haven't had my share of OTC - some even 'near' free (as in no cash actually exchanged). But that is not the norm, and you definitely can't just expect a real relationship to blossom out of this.
If all you want is P4P then you can certainly get that (how easy it is varies from area/club) - it may even be better than 'dating' them when you consider everything.
Here's a little test to make sure: If you're a young guy, unemployed, with a criminal record, staying at her house rent free, enjoying frequent unprotected sex with her (and a couple of her friends/sister on the side), and generally treating her like shit while she supports your drug habit, then, yes, you're dating a stripper! Congrats!
Anything else puts you in the "probably deluding themselves" camp.
My experience can't help ya here, as I've never dated a dancer....Believe me, I've wanted to a few times but something would always happen with her before reaching that stage (i.e. Excessive Drama, Psycho Behavior, Baggage Manifestation, She Happens to be Engaged, etc)....I'm pretty open minded, so I'm not dead set against it....It's just that I'd much prefer to date inside the club for awhile first....I've had a couple genuine ITC relationships where you could almost call it "Dating" in the traditional sense....But that's likely from just my lowly PL perch and perspective....
Non strippers have problems too, but nothing close to these hurt pieces.
I have to say I enjoyed most of these dates, but I finally realized both the dancer and I were wasting our time. The dancers who didn't accept money were interested in a long term relationship (or marriage!) and they soon began to depend on me like girls do with a boyfriend. What I wanted was sex with a hot stripper and no long term ties.
What's best for me is getting OTC activities that include some dinners and movies and concerts and that always include sex.
"a young guy, unemployed, with a criminal record, staying at her house rent free, enjoying frequent unprotected sex with her (and a couple of her friends/sister on the side), and generally treating her like shit while she supports your drug habit"
Quote #2 seems to be the case quite a lot. And in quote #1, how does the stripper know said civilian BF is NOT going to strip Clubs? She'd have to be physically with him 24/7 to actually know it. And what stripper is with a BF 24/7. She has to work.
This arrangement seems IDEAL to me! LOL I'd love to get my current ATF into this scenario.
As I'm sure someone has argued before, strippers are people with emotions, desires, etc. just like everyone else (yeah, some are heartless bitches). Customers can become BF's and husbands, due to the fact the most of the girls lives revolve around the club.
Yes, it may be hard for a girl to let that guy go as customer, but they do it. And for the guys who can't wrap their heads around it, saying that it's rare or that it's only a business relationship say that in an attempt to justify why they haven't "dated" any strippers (after starting as customers).
"If you're a young guy, unemployed, with a criminal record, staying at her house rent free, enjoying frequent unprotected sex with her (and a couple of her friends/sister on the side), and generally treating her like shit while she supports your drug habit, then, yes, you're dating a stripper! Congrats!"
@steve, would 3 out of 6 count?
Maddawg ! Thanks bro ! Club one !
I actually disagree with most of what you said. Especially the part about most dancers lives revolving around the job.
Most peoples lives don't revolve around work. Add in the propensity of them to move from club to club or travel a fair distance to get to their club and the connection is even less.
I don't need to justify why I haven't dated a stripper because I have no desire too. Since I'm not trying to make connections when I go to a club, this really isn't an issue for me. And even if I did, I think I'd have to much of a hang up about the job to date them. (Lots of guys would have the same hang up, another reason it's not common)
I could keep going, but in all likely hood you are one of the deluded ones or else you've convinced yourself you can get one of them to date you. Best of luck to you, watch your wallet.
"Extremely rare""Rare to no existent" In my experience, and the experience of others I know, It's more common than "Extremely rare".
Rare: seldom occurring or found. Is this your definition? As you put it "Rare to no existent", meaning it's as likely to happen as seeing a Pinta Island tortoise, since they are "Rare to no existent".
If a guy says he's dated someone do you just REALLY feel the need to tell him it wasn't real or that he was just a part of a business deal? There's a word for that right? Cynic! Am I using that right, Jester?
Have you ever met someone that seemed to be limited in conversational skills, but when you ask them about work they can go on forever? That's probably because their lives revolve around work. It's all they know, and all they need to know.
You haven't dated a stripper, so when you say the shit you say, you're not really speaking from experience. So that would make it more of a hypothetical statement then, huh? Did I use that right, Jester?
And since when have most guys let "hang ups" stop them from doing shit? Are you saying most guys wouldn't date a stripper if given the chance? Ask around, it's more common than you think...Jester.
COME AT ME BRO! Lol
I went on "Dates" with both of my Ex-ATFs.
Stack your a fuckin beast !
I really think that's why my "relationship" with my CF/ATF has worked so well. Neither one of us really wants more than we're getting, and we're both willing to give what we've been giving.