You're Probably A Slutty Stripper If; ..come on guys lets all play along.

4) your husband posts on TUSCL. :)

5) you suck dick 4 a mcdouble !

6) You don't need a boyfriend because you get enough at work.

5) not sure which number to call to ask where your birth control pills are?

6) Are on a first name basis with all the staff at the free clinic.

You drive a beater car with beads hanging from the mirror

You're "taking a semester off" from nursing school

When you're at Wal-Mart with your boyfriend, strangers come up to him and ask if he's holding

You or your boyfriend or your sister have done serious jail time

You have a lifetime pass to the tanning salon

Your shoes cost $100 and only last 6 weeks

The words "I miss u" are programmed into your phone

Bhuvanesh from the convenience store has your 6-pack of Red Bull ready for you at 7pm

You buy condoms by the case at Costco
You think drinking and smoking at work are normal activities
You wear the same outfit while at work everyday and no one seems to mind
You own more garters than socks
Your alarm clock is set to 6pm
Your entire wardrobe couldn't be sewn together to make a quilt big enough for a midget

You have drug dealers,probation officer,cab company on speed dial. All the local motel's know you by name. You go through more condom's the a hooker. you can out drink an alcholic

this is the est one yet. You don't know who the fathers of your kids are

If you're reading this post

bang,

Actually, these days, that is not uncommon in the general population. Sad, but true!

You smoke menthol cigarettes because you think they don't make your breath stink

Supper consists of 2 dunkin doughnuts

Even if you take money, gifts, favors for sex you are not a prostitute

Your boyfriend is on probation.
You're knocked up but don't know by whom.
You get your prescription drugs from the shot girl at the club.
You're drunk every day you work.
You've never heard of FICA.
You pay for everything with cash.
You tell people you're a Hooters waitress so they won't look down on you.
You think a 9 to 5 job starts at 9PM.
You hide what you do from your kids but they find out anyway.

You use Windex because perfume costs too much.

@jack lash

You're drunk every day you work.
You've never heard of FICA.
You pay for everything with cash.

You think a 9 to 5 job starts at 9PM.
You hide what you do from your kids but they find out anyway.

Stripper or drug dealer? those could go either way.

@jackslash'

I have to ask about FICA. My experience doing business in US is minimal (only two contracts in my 45 year career) and my memory is hazy. Is FICA not the standard which determines the check-offs an employer must make for an employee's Social Security contributions? I should probably ask Mr. Google.

you have a brass pole installed in the living room of your rented double-wide

you spend more time in front of the make-up mirror than you do sleeping

*fantasy* accurately describes every aspect of your life

... you've been a girl that i've 'gone out with/dated' in the last five years or so ...

farmerart,
Yes FICA is the name of the social security act. Generally the employer pays half (6.2%)and the employee pays half, except the employee got exempted for 2% this year. It does max out at around $107,000 each year.

art, FICA is Federal Insurance Contributions Act, which is a tax on wages that is used to fund social security payments for retirees. Any person who earns wages in the USA will have FICA deducted from their pay check. Strippers don't know about FICA because they are paid cash for their services. Legally, strippers should report their income to the IRS and pay income tax and FICA on this income. But the strippers I know do not report any income or only a small portion of their income.

Dancers at my fav club receive a paycheck each week for a nominal amount based on how many dances they do. FICA and federal, state and local taxes are withheld, which causes many girls to file tax returns if they are entitled to a refund. If they don't file, the W-4 record is available to track them down - address and SSAN. Of course, the vast majority of their earnings go unreported.

I was told that this was the outcome of a tax audit the club experienced a few years ago. I also understand that the IRS is satisfied that they are capturing *some* portion of earnings thru W-2; and suggest that the remaining income should be reported on a "Schedule C" (self-employed) with business deductions for costumes, make-up, hair care, rubbers, pills, transportation, cell phones, etc. if the stripper's CPA is so inclined.