"It's way too early for that shit" and the $1500 hand job

avatar for samsung1
samsung1
Ohio
Business takes me to Dallas. I've never visited The Lodge but it's supposed to be one of the best upscale clubs in the country. I head out to the club on a Thursday night. It's a one-man celebration of the successful end of a long and painful project before I get on a plane home in the morning.

Entering the club into the main room, it's a stone and log affair with a main stage and a smaller satellite stage in the middle of the room. Two hallways in the back lead you to a just-as-large wood-paneled library room. It has its own stage in the middle, a floor level dance floor with a pole. There's the Champagne Room off of this. $275 for a bottle and $400 per hour to your dancer. More on this later. There's a VIP Room upstairs, $400 for a bottle plus $400 per hour to your dancer. I'm told the VIP has private rooms. I didn't see that. The Champagne Room has booths around the walls, tables in the middle. Not private, although there wasn't anyone else in there while we were in there.

There are lots of dancers, most of them pretty plain. But there are four or five fabulous babes who interest me, a pretty decent talent pool by my standards.

I have a steak. It's ok. Not as good as what they serve at my favorite Detroit clubs but definitely good enough. Less expensive though, so that's a bonus.

The sixth game of the Series is on. The local team can clinch it all with a win tonight. So the boys are focused on the game and cheering every move their guys make. Only a few girls are working the room. The rest are just hanging out waiting for the game to end, including all the fabulous babes.

So if I'm gonna get any, I'm gonna have to take the initiative.

There's a fabulous tall, curvey brunette who's touring the room with her less fabulous blond friend. I arrange it so that they catch me from behind while I'm headed somewhere else. After a little sexual banter and some preliminary groping in the hallway we head back to a corner booth in the library room for some table dances.

The brunette is hot. Big, firm, but not obviously fake tits. Great curves. Slutty stripper hair. Slutty stripper eyes locked in on mine. Hands all over me. The blonde is more laid back. Fried egg titties. Big hips. Not bad looking but nothing special.

After a couple warm up songs I want some two-girl play. "C'mon, lemme see you nibble on her nipples." But "No," the brunette says, "we can't do that out here." She promotes the private rooms. What the hell, I'll go for the $275 bottle room. It's a celebration after all, and this girl is hot.

We move, into the room. There's nobody here so we get "their favorite booth." Deal with the bottle purchase. Which brings up an odd practice at this club:

Out on the floor, when I ordered my third drink, the waitress brought me a card that she wanted me to sign. I couldn't read it in the dim light so I asked what it was. She tells me it's so that I won't hold the club liable if I have an accident or some other problem after having had too much to drink at the club. What the fuck? I don't want a fuss so I sign it with my stage name in a scrawl. Good luck to them with that. And again, when I order the bottle in the Champagne Room here's this stupid card I gotta sign. I comment that I've never seen this practice before and the brunette tells me it's me promising that I won't contest the charges they're putting on my card. (I'm not running a tab. I'm only charging the bottle. Anything else, I'm paying cash.) Regardless of the purpose of the card, it's still an odd practice. But back to the reason we came ...

In addition to the bottle the brunette ordered whipped cream and strawberries. So it's whipped cream and strawberry nipples all around. Serious nipple nibbling done by all. Yum!

After a while the blond needs to take a short break. Cool, alone time for me and the brunette. And she is smokin'. Slow, smooth grind with lots of stick shifting. She's hitting all the right spots. And I'm all over her smooth skin. Grabbing her ass. Cupping those massive breasts. Tonguing those nipples. Getting me all cranked up.

And now the blonde is back. But she's grumpy. "There were girls back there throwing up in BOTH bathrooms," she complains, "it's way too early for that shit."

Now that she's back we move on to the main event. We're into some serious rule breaking now, apparently. And we discover why these two work as a team. The brunette has her hands in my pants, stroking, while the blond screens her from the view of the manager who's in and out of the room through the far entrance, taking care of business at the bar. They both scan the room while she unzips me and starts stroking with intent. She has to ease off every time the mangler comes into the room which kind of fucks with the mood. But I focus in on her fabulous curves and soon enough we do acheive lift off. Nice. Very nice.

I've got an early flight. The alarm rings at 4am. So I gotta get outta here. No more time left to explore just where the boundaries actually might be with this girl. Much as I'd like to take the brunette up to a private VIP room and see what happens, I'd rather not pay to take the blonde along for the ride. And I really am turning into a pumpkin. Honest.

So I say good night. The brunette texts me her picture and contact info so that I can let her know next time I'll be in town. (The picture thing is a nice touch. First time I've had a stripper do that.)

And I settle up:

3 table dances plus tip, times 2 dancers: $160
1 buy-the-stripper-off-stage shot (Macallan 25) plus tip: $100
1 Champagne Room bottle plus tip: $325
Stripper hourly rate plus tip, times 2 strippers: $1000

There you go, the $1500 hand job.

Pricey.

http://twosheds.com/clubBB/viewtopic.php…

21 comments

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avatar for samsung1
samsung1
13 years ago
I should clarify this is not my experience...but from Twosheds forum that I thought was interesting and why I think the Dallas strip clubs are over rated. Two Dallas clubs are on the top 10 list despite extras seeming to be hit or miss at best.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
13 years ago
Amazing that the guy could admit to being such an idiot.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
I think he thought it was a fucking great HJ
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
13 years ago
shadowcat: He isn't any idiot. From this post, I can see how you might think that. I don't thing samsung made this clear that not only was it posted on TwoSheds, it was written by TwoSheds himself - the founder and moderator of the board. I've been reading him for years and he's anything but a newbie to strip clubs. He is just a guy with very high standards and too much money.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
13 years ago
motorhead - I am some what familiar with TwoSheds. If that is the case then, I agree that he has too much money but I don't think that his standards are very high.
avatar for Shamrock211
Shamrock211
13 years ago
If all you were after was a handy, your garden variety crackhead would've done it for $10, may be $20 on a busy night.

Hell a top notch escort would've fucked you silly for around a G.

Help me understand here since I work in this industry and it still baffles me to this day. Is it the thrill of getting away with it inside an establishment that makes dropping $1500 on a handjob seem reasonable, or the shaky premise that they are actually strippers and not prostitutes and therefore you've never had to pay for sex?

Not trying to be a dick or a troll, just honestly curious...

avatar for wallanon
wallanon
13 years ago
Was following til the therefore...might've missed the rationalizing since I only skimmed the OP. No disrespect to a venerable club goer, but unless her hands are made of gold and recently dipped in the fountain of youth there's no possibility of Wall considering a $1500 hand job a success.

"I paid $1500 in Dallas and all I got was a HJ and a crappy cell phone snap"
avatar for pablorod
pablorod
13 years ago
Is that the typical cost for extras in a SC? I got a bj for roughly $450 after it was said and done recently. I know I can get a cheaper bj elsewhere (not a SC), but that girl was amazing. I thought it was pricey, but now I think I may have gotten a bargain.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
13 years ago
No. $450 is no bargin. $100 or less is a bargin.
avatar for pablorod
pablorod
13 years ago
The problem there is I couldn't get away with that in the normal rooms cause there weren't private... so VIP was running $225 off the bat. I am relatively new to that stuff though and I'm a weak man...I couldn't turn it down. Haha.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
$1500 HJ?!?!

He needs to be a bit more discriminating in his spending choices. He IMHO should have at least gotten a nice LONG BJ out of it. LOL
avatar for 1Chanman
1Chanman
13 years ago
It's part of the chase. Some guys like to believe that they chasing and courting these chicks rather than an "outright" direct purchase. Part of that for them is hanging out with these chicks, talking with them, and then, getting them to do sex stuff for them. I gave up thinking that way a long time ago...
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
13 years ago
"outright direct purchase"

I like that term! Does that mean it be be available on QVC soon?
avatar for Pablo Antonio
Pablo Antonio
13 years ago
This guy is either
1: A dumbass. (Or)
2: Has more money than he knows what to do with.

Me, I can't part with the money to pay for a $1500 HJ but wish I had it to blow like this guy.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
13 years ago
I would not be surprised if there are guys here in Ohio who spend $1500 and don't even get touched.
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
13 years ago
I think its safe to say most of us here would get a lot more for our $1500. To each is own, but I need a little better value for my dollar than that. Then again, I don't have that kind of disposable income.
avatar for CTQWERTY
CTQWERTY
13 years ago
Yikes! When in a high-to-overpriced club (like Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theater), load up on the singles and head for the rail. Maximize the eye candy factor while experiencing the club and saving the wallet.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
13 years ago
Well, I've never met the man, nor read anything of his besides the above post, so I'm not going to comment on whether or not he actually *is* an idiot. However, having "too much money" apparently permits him to *act* like one without suffering the loss too badly.

For some perspective, $1,500 roughly approximates *double* my monthly OTC *and* ITC expenditures over the last year, which monthly outlay includes 3 or 4 sessions with a very skilled and enthusiastic young lady doing just about anything I want.

Of course, *my* spending might be called idiotic by some, so it's mostly all relative.
avatar for Bananafish
Bananafish
13 years ago
Nice report.

Next time, depending on your schedule, consider buying a $60 one-way Southwest flight from Dallas to Houston and then flying home from Houston instead.

Houston's Treasures is more similar to Detroit in terms of talent, prices, etc.
avatar for mmdv26
mmdv26
13 years ago
So this guy romps around in a higher class club, buys the CR thing, drops a few $50 tips and chases the girls around for a while. At some point, willey gets loose, but he's in an area where HJ is the most likely Xtra he can get. Cumulative cost = $1500.

I want to hear the sequel to that story where the guy buys the private room, hasn't been paying for TWO chicks, and didn't get ripped off with the $100 shots. He might have got FS for that same $1500...or less.



avatar for wwpmi
wwpmi
13 years ago
The Lodge in Dallas is a waste, take $50 over to Pandora's and spend the night.
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