What's the worst foot-in-mouth moment you've been part of?

I don't know how many times you asked this question, but to me this appears to be one of those examples of never being able to win in a conversation with some ladies. To some, perception is reality and both perception and reality can be really F'd up to some of these ladies.

Since my prior response was really non-responsive to your question, I'll go ahead and answer - my worst foot in mouth moment was asking a friends wife when she was due - when she had delivered three weeks earlier.

My most embarassing moment in a strip club was when I was sitting with a dancer at Paradise Showgirls, La Puente, CA. She wasn't a strong fave, but one whom I had seen a few times. I guessed her real name and managed to offend her, all in the same sentence: During the day shift, it was slow at the club, so she had plenty of time to sit and chat as we were sipping drinks, after I got some dances with her. A string of dancers with obvious stripper-like stage names appeared on stage: Names like, "Precious," "Foxy," "Starr," "Belle," etc. were all that these girls had. There had to be five in a row with names like that. After about five of these I turned to my dancer and said, "Why don't any of these girls have a mundane name like Abigail?" She opens her purse, pulls out her driver's license, specifically to show me that her real name is Abigail! Boy, did I turn every shade of red imaginable! I apologized, and we laughed it off, but it must have still stung for a while.

Club_Goer,

Almost the exact opposite for me. The dancer told me her name was "Starr". I asked, "Were your parents some hippie freaks to name their kid that?" She says, yes, and then pulls out her license! "Starr" it was.

@ Clubber: Maybe those of us who have the word, "Club" as part of our screen name are prone to this kind of thing!

@9thclient- Every single one of my girlfriends still looked quite pooched three weeks after giving birth. A uterus doesn't shrink to its pre pregnancy size that early. I'd be surprised if that was an offensive comment. Now three months after birth...that might be offensive. Lol.

@club_goer- funny!

It did'nt happen in a club, but a cute young girl I worked with had a bad tatoo on her back shoulder and I said "you're too pretty to have that scribbling on you." She gave me a stone cold look and said "my FATHER drew it!" That seems so wrong.

Mine is easy. I was at this one club in Kansas once, and there was this one fat dancer I ended up getting a dance from and I told her that for a fat chick, she was a good dancer. She just stormed off. This marked the only time I remember I got a dance where they didn't ask if I wanted another one (not counting the end of the night), plus I was persona non grata at that club the rest of the time I was there.

I told my ATF I wanted to make love to her (don't know if that qualifies as "foot in mouth though")

"You know I don't have any money" during the 3rd vip dance.

Was at a club in Davenport and it was in really poor condition. I was at the stage with a friend and mentioned to him that "this place is really a dump". As soon as the dancer finished the set, she went to the manager who then had me escorted out as he "Didn't want me to have to sit in his dump" Ooops!

ITC:
I hassled a dancer about having a drink, while I was four drinks in, and she was drinking red bulls. I loudly asked, "WHAT, ARE YOU UNDERAGED?!" after a loud shushing, she said that she was. Apparently she does drink when certain managers are not present.

One time after entering a SC, I witnessed a dancer pick up a $20 bill with her bare vajayjay, while doing the splits. Awestruck I blurted out, "I wish I could get that at home!" The manager standing nearby, whom I later found out was dating the dancer, says "our girls don't prostitute themselves. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I told him "I meant my wife can't do the splits" and he laughed. I bought one drink and left.

OTC:
I have asked 3 women when I was in my twenties, if they were pregnant when they weren't. One had diabetes, one had miscarried at 5 months, and one had just plain gotten fat--but only in the stomach. I learned to just never ask.

Once in high school (gawd-the 80s) I came in at lunch time because of a dentist appointment in the morning. The normally chipper group I ate with were all quiet and frowny. I look at everyone and say, "jeez, who died?" as a joke. It turned out that an upper classman had actually died that morning. He got hit by a car while changing a flat tire.

Sitting with a couple dancers. Started making jokes with one dancer about what a shitty, "white trash" neighborhood the club was located in. The other dancer suddenly got up and stormed off. Found out later she lived a couple blocks away!