how to pick up a stripper?

If she's small enough, I'll try with my hands under her arms and just lift. If she's medium sized, I'll barrel hug her and lift her up that way. I won't even try with the big ones. Bad back, you know...

Ok homie I'm going to take you to school! So read up son! Step one go to the fuckin bank . Step 2 take out all your money. Step 3 go to a strip club. Step 4 find a real freaky stripper (u know the one that gives you a hand job under the table while discussing the lap dance) step 5 give her all not sum but the whole fuckin load! Step 6 fuck the dawg shit out of her or make love to her its your choice(your the paying custamer) step 7 fuck the number just repeat step 1 again son. That my friend is how to fuck a stripper (fuck the number that never helpt me get ass from one at all).

There's a whole world out there of advice on dating strippers (which I'm assuming you want to do, and not just get OTC from her). Doing so always comes with huge caveats about how fucked up dancers' lives usually are, including drugs, emotional extremes, kids, financial issues, jealous current/ex-husbands and boyfriends, etc. Also, much of the advice comes with a price tag. So, if you're still intent on giving it a whirl, you can check out:

• The straight forward approach - www.wikihow.com

• The reverse approach - date-strippers.com

• With warnings included - www.askmen.com

• Advice for purchase - www.strippersecret.com

• More advice for purchase - www.datingresearch.com

My key to picking up a stripper: Lift with the legs, not the back.

women's little holes were made close together for a purpose.

stick your thumb in her pussy and your index finger in her pussy and pick her up like a 6 pack.

ASK!

Troop, doesn't 1 finger go in the rectum?

How does that work, troop? It doesn't seem like you would be getting much of a grip on her. LOL.

lol guys, that's what i meant to say, rough night. duh

we still need an edit button.

On the second link - I've never had a dancer tell me she doesn't date customers. I've been turned down, of course. But they say they have someone or just we'll see. Also I usually don't ask for a date. I try to get them to join me and my friends for whatever we're doing afterwards then get them back to one of our places, after that asking for a date will be accepted and appreciated.

On the first link - spot on, just I do get lap dances, how else will you know how they'll be in bed?? Could be a wallflower! But the point is not to make it rain or drop a lot on her.

Also LOL at motherfuckers selling books about this shit! Sales pitch should be for the price of only THREE LAP DANCES!!

Rub your sweaty balls all over her. That's like...the hottest thing ever.

It`s also hot when drunken customers try to lick my face and then give me a list of stage names I should go by instead of the one I chose

Hmmm. Maybe I don't want to meet you two after all...

:))

Sweaty balls LOL One of the casualties of enjoying stage shows is it makes me wait for the dancer I came to see. I will hang out at the bar and she'll chill with me for a bit, but I'll send her on her way to get back to work while I wait for the show. During this time, which can be a while with 70+ dancers, I'll eventually have to buy a pity dance from someone, not to be a cheap asshole. If it's a nude club, there's a good chance the basic dance will be nude. There's also a chance the dancer won't be on top of her hygiene. You can't immediately detect this, btw. I've had two fit, bueatiful, otherwise clean looking girls, whip thier bikinis off and grind their foul smelling vaginas on me. One I told my dancer about and suggest she leave her bottom on, the other was bad enough for me to have to apologize to the dancer I came to see and leave and wash my pants.

And back on topic: the best thing to do is to watch Striptease and do everything Congressman Dilbeck does.

Somewhere, amongst the collection of articles is one or more written about picking up a stripper.

But here's my advice: skip the formalities (flowers, dinner, fine film, etc.) and take her to meet mom. If all parties survive the encounter, then maybe you have something with legs.

If the dancer says no, don't keep asking her incessantly. There, that's my advice.

Shit there are some cantankerous old fucks out here! :) OK so some serious answers:

1. Never be a customer. By paying her as a customer, you de-motivate her from treating you like a "legitimate" partner, because doing so would (in her predictions) eliminating you from her income-potential pool. Thus, buying a dance is the same as never fucking her.

2. Be hot, young, studly, tall, well-dressed, masculine, scented, aloof, unavailable, arrogant, strong, distant, emotionally reserved, powerful, successful, muscular, thick-haired, thick-bearded (but shaven), thick-jawed, thick-browed, big-footed, big-dicked, manicured, with slightly unshaven chin, blue-eyed. Oh, and work for MI-6 or a defense contractor. Handle fire-arms well. And have a secret sensitive side that you somehow portray to her as available to her and only her but only if she plays her cards right and gets you to eventually open up to her ... later.

3. Buy drugs. Offer them to her. Say, "Not in HERE! We have to go somewhere that ... THEY ... aren't watching." Ideally she already has a habit.

This is not the forum to ask about dating strippers. This is the forum for asking about paying for pussy. Try stripperweb.com, you may have more luck there.

Be me.

(I am kidding, of course.)

If you want to get a dancers phone number follow these steps

1. Get crappy tribal sleeve tattoos and a tapout tattoo on your neck

2. By affilication t-shirts or ed Hardy tees

3. Workout on your arms and chest

4. Tell her that you train UFC and your friends with UFC fighters.

5. Everytime when you talk say bro, hella or buzzed in every sentence.

6. By a 325i BMW on 20 inch rims and don't forget to put a UFC sticker

7. Tell her about your 1,200 a month rent on your flat in upper downtown.

8. Make sure your friends look and act like you.

That's how you pick up dancers. As for me I learned from one of my dads friends on how to get numbers. Ill give ypi this advice don't be a jackass.

I use 2 hands

I just let them climb.

Chill and let them pick you up.

I tried using my cock to pick them up but strippers weigh too much

Book Guy: "2. Be hot, young, studly, tall, well-dressed, masculine, scented, aloof, unavailable, arrogant, strong, distant, emotionally reserved, powerful, successful, muscular, thick-haired, thick-bearded (but shaven), thick-jawed, thick-browed, big-footed, big-dicked, manicured, with slightly unshaven chin, blue-eyed."

Thanks, Book Guy. I'm going to take your advice.

fg408- just to let you know I got a dancer phone number just by asking her.

A phone number is good, but it could be for business. I have gotten every dancer's number I asked for this year (compared to non-strippers, where I get about half of them). But only a fourth have lead to something outside of the club happening.

But, you should always ask and see where it leads.

Just ask, most of the time you'll get it. What happens after that is up to your negotiating talent.

Well if she finds a secluded spot in the club and sucks your dick without you knowing that ahead of time, that might be a clue you can get her phone number and name too. If she says she wants to meet up later and have sex, that would be a good time to ask for her number. However I don't believe she's going to want to go out to eat or all that other stuff unless she starts getting bonded to you in a manner where she starts acting like you are her boyfriend but she didn't tell you. If she stalks you in the club and calls you for no particular reason, she may feel attached. You could probably date her at this point if you wanted to through all the trouble.