When I sit with a customer, typically the waitress will sell drinks for me, i.e "would you like to buy her a drink?" More often than that, the customer will offer. I don't make a habit out of asking because I know they're pricey and I don't want the customer to feel pressured. When it comes to suggesting private dances, about 1/3rd of the time I offer one, after I've been sitting there for 15-20 minutes and have done a few dollar dances, and the rest of the time they bring it up. When it comes to them suggesting, however, I wonder if I should offer before they have to ask; is it exasperating for the dancer not to offer private dances until you, the customer, bring it up?
"Buy the lady a drink" is one of my pet peevs. If I wanna buy her one, I'll ask her if she wants one. Of course at the clubs I hang out at, there are no special dancer drinks/ prices.
"Wanna dance" pisses most of us off but usually only applies when the dancer just approaches us and those are the first words out of her mouth. If a dancer spends time chatting with me first, I don't mind it at all. It's usually a question of who asks first. I know a couple of dancer that will never ask. "If he wants a dance, he will ask". Dancer that don't spend some chattying first, will never make my favorites list.
I'm the opposite...I don't look to chat with dancers...sure, I will chat if they strike up a conversation or they're a favorite...but I'm always looking for potential new favorites...often times, I don't want to chat if I start formulating in my mind that I don't want a dance (physcially not what I want)...some chicks "force" you to chat and you may feel like giving a sympathy dance afterwards even if she's really not your type. But a chick that I know is my type that comes right over and says "wanna dance" is not a turn off for me...
I think I've said this before, I don't spend time with hungry strippers. Any dancer who approches me is instantly sent to the 'con artist' or 'desperate' categories and has to work her way up with impecable charm and convincing honesty! Now, if It's a dancer I approach to come sit with me, or a reg, then asking for a drink or dance, is perfectly fine and part of the conversation. But, generally, I prefer to always initiate it.
Ironically, my current fav is the sole dancer to approach me who I've kept around. Of course she talked to me for twenty minutes, by my side, never getting in my lap, and never asking for a dance. I had to ask if she was a dancer or a waitress! It was her first night. She then went on stage, got naked, and I fell in love. Total anomaly.
“If I wanna buy her one, I'll ask her if she wants one.†- 100% of the time. If I don’t make the offer on my own she doesn’t drink on my dime.
I already know that a LD is on the menu and there is no need to bring it up. Very rarely will I get a LD if solicited by the dancer because if I want one I’ll ask without prompting. I’m attracted to self-confident non-predators and I prefer the traditional male/female interrelationship roles. Of course my type of behavior is probably hard for most dancers to read and they risk wasting their time with some cheap bastard.
I am not opposed to a dancer asking me if I want a dance, as long as sufficient time and conversation have passed between meeting her and the question. "Sufficient" being a term relative to the point in time, club, dancer, amount of money in my pocket, and other factors over which the dNcers has no control, and likely no knowledge. :)) Which is why I generally reply with "Not right now" or some variant to an immediate request; I'm not opposed to the idea, I just don't have enough information to make a decision yet.
The irksome part locally is that lengthy conversations are virtually impossible in many clubs because of the predatory waitresses. In most cases, the dancer doesn't have to be sitting for more than half a minute before being pounced on to buy a drink. I've gotten into the habit of sitting at the bar, as the bartenders are busier, and so don't get to you as quickly. :)
I have never been one to sit at the stage until recently... but have found that most clubs I've been to, don't want other dancers sitting with customers that are at the stage. So I go in and sit at the stage, relax and start looking at who I'm interested in. I usually tip just $2 per song for dancers that are hot, some that are not at all interesting to me I will just tip a buck. Things I look for are how the lady looks, of course, but also how she moves and how she reacts to tips. How appreciation is shown is kinda how I determine who I want a dance with. A thank you is not doing it for me. A lean over and a kiss on the cheek, nibble on the ear or the face between the girls is a great way to show appreciation and how a dance will go. I also look at the way the ladies treat the guys that tip a $5. If she is only showing that guy appreciation, then she is going to be an upsell in the lap dance.
As far as asking for a lap dance, I don't really care if someone comes up and suggests, but if there is a lady that I want to get one from, I will let her know while she is on stage. A whisper in the ear while she is showing some appreciation... BTW, after a great lap dance, the lady is getting $5s from me at the stage...
For drinks, I'll ask if I'm interested in buying that $8 water for the lady.
I prefer the following approach by dancers in most clubs at most times. Walk up, say hello, and ask if you can sit with me. If I say yes, either sit in my lap or sit in the chair and show some interest in physical contact. Converse for one or two songs. If I don't ask for a dance after two songs, only two things are possible: 1) I am so engrossed in our conversation, I simply haven't thought of dances yet, or 2) I am not going to ask. You are now free to ask. I will say yes, no, or maybe later. If I say no, you are free to get up, wish me well, and move on. If I say "maybe later", I mean it. Stop by in 30 minutes or so if I'm not otherwise busy, and ask again.
f_d, I know that it is a tough thing for you for guys to answer your question with "Depends. . .". I do think that you can safely rule out walking up to a guy and immediately asking for a dance. Just about every guy wants a little conversation. Flirting is kind of the foreplay. But we know that you have a bottom line to deal with. So, after a reasonable time (conversation lags a bit, club is busy and you have many potential clients, maybe after a couple of songs, etc.) you could excuse yourself and move along with some little backstory (gotta talk to another dancer, gotta freshen up, gotta take the stage, gotta get ready to take the stage, etc.). There will be no hard feelings. But if you get up when the guy says something like "Not right now, but hopefully later" and you act all haughty, then it probably won't happen.
The hottest dancers have been the ones on stage that have a naughty air about them and keep an eye on you. They are like the spider sitting in the middle of the web, daring you to approach. And when you finally do, they'll have you by how they react to your tip. Even the smallest tip can get a lingering purr or a playful package grab or a slow kiss on the cheek. That will usually seal the deal. And if you have a lot of marks--I mean clients--lined up, they will find you if they can see that you are genuinely trying to juggle them all and get to each. If they see you walking away, or sitting somewhere else with other dancers, or lounging with some cheap-ass, they will resent it.
On the drink thing, don't run some scam with the waitress. If the guy wants to buy you a drink, he'll ask and then flag down a waitress. If it is a dancer I want to ditch, I will purposefully not order her a drink while I order myself a drink. But many times that's not enough of a hint.
Fetish_dancer, we never assume that the dancer is interested in giving us a private dance just because she is sitting with us. In fact, at our home club, we have multiple dancers sit with us just to say HI, give us news of someone who is no longer at the club or just to have a drink and chat. Just as not all dancers are the client's preference, not all like to dance for couples. Honestly, since we sit in a corner of VIP mostly, I think they sometimes just come to hang out and take a break since the house mom does not bug them as we are regulars. We also like it when a dancer is honest with us and tells us she has another customer waiting or has just done two back to back VIP and needs a break. We will often then order a drink and shrimp cocktail for her (or other offering of her choosing) and get a dance after she has had them to help give her a break.
I hope you found these comments helpful Now you know that all you have to do is chat first, don't chat - just ask, don't approach, do approach, don't bring up LDs, or feel free to ask, lol.
In general, I'll offer a drink if I want to buy one - but if the aforementioned scenario 1 has occurred and the dancer would prefer a drink to dance I've got no problem with her asking. I can't see a scenario where I'd buy a drink for a dancer I wouldn't just as soon buy a dance from though.
The "dancer drink" scenario isn't really common around here, so waitress don't generally push drinks. I think that would prompt me to seek entertainment elsewhere.
With a few exceptions locally, if you don't buy dancer drinks, the dancer won't be permitted to sit with you for very long, even on slow nights. There are exceptions, of course, where the club recognizes that not pissing off customers is worth it, but for the most part, it's something you either have to put up with or find another club.
I usually ask. I usually don't get turned down and I like to let the customer know I'm excited for a dance with him. I'll have some conversation and if all goes well, let's go have fun.
Sometimes if a club is short on waitresses, a manager or someone else will attempt to sell drinks. I hate being bought drinks! Lol..To those who sell them, stay the f*** away from me. Stay the f*** out of my conversation. Stay the f*** out of my VIP booth and stay the f*** out of my way.
Don't hold back, there Stiletto, tell us how you *really* feel. I wish more dancers would feel that way. I've told waitresses the same thing on occasion, and I've come close to expressing it that way, but not quite.
I'm so glad I stumbled on this forum. All of you have helped me so much. I had no idea how much there is to learn about dancing. I want more than anything to see people having a great time. When I see someone sitting alone I always stop by to say Hi! There have been many occasions when the customer would politely or not so politely send me on my way. I smile and will always find something about the person to complement them about and finally give them a gentle rub and let them know if there is anything they need I will be more than happy to help him with it. And I really mean that.
I never want someone to feel pressured by me. And If I am turned down, I don't want them to think I am upset because I'm not at all. I want the best for them and that doesn't alway mean me.
I don't mind the waitress just asking, but if she gets pushy with *my* customer about buying me a drink, I get embarrassed and want her to go the fuck away, basically what Stiletto is saying. Another thing that pisses me off is when other dancers try to sell VIPs FOR me. I have this one girl that's all over me and is always trying to get drinks -- she just stays drunk from the beginning of her shift till the end -- and she tries to sell VIPs for me, and it's just humiliating.
harrydave - hits the nail on the head for me. And Christal also wins as having the approach that will impress me every time. I will say this much, dancers shouldn't be getting top shelf, but they should be able to get a reasonable number of drinks comp'd for their time. When it's the Rhino at LV at midnight, it's just a chain reaction of girls going around 'wanna dance' - I just let them keep walking. But I've also had quite a few that when it's not crowded and I say not right now - try again later if I'm still there.
I also agree with harrydave. Stietto -- LOL! I also think between stiletto, fetish, daisy and our newest entry Christal, we have a group of top shelf dancers most of us would love to spend a day or evening with at the club. It would be a lot of fun! Welcome Christal!
Sometimes I think this topic is bogus. Why, you might ask? Let's equate a SC with most any other business. Most people enter a business to make a purchase. Of course there are always those that window shop, and I know clubs have those types. Window shoppers do not often purchase, as they know going in they have no intent to spend $'s. Now those that enter with the intent to spend money basically know what they want when they enter the business. Only two things can happen at this point. They do or do not purchase. Why wouldn't they purchase? They don't see what they want, or perhaps a pushy or annoying salesperson drives them away. I think you should see my point. Sales people should "guide" customers, not push them!
Clubber, as usual, has it right. Pushy salespeople in any business really turn me off. Give me a second to catch my breath and look around. Hovering over me and asking questions will not get me to buy a new suit or dress shirts. If you're not going to let me adjust, think and choose, I'll just leave the store. Now a SC is a different matter. WARNING: This is the Detroit experience and may not have universal application.
As soon as I sit in the booth, a dancer sits next to me. I didn't invite her and she did not ask "May I join you." Rude.
As soon as she sits down, in seconds, a waitress shows up "Buy the lady a drink?" I'm supposed the believe that this is just chance?
When the drinks arrive a second dancer shows up and sits in the booth, uninvited. No sooner does she plop down, the waitress is back to take her drink order. Remember dancer drinks are jacked up at least 10% over the already overpriced customer drinks.
Now, the real trap is set. If I stopped in for lunch, I cannot eat without hearing these two dancers whine about being hungry. Am I required to buy them lunch to shut them up? And buy dances on top of that? Remember dancers have to buy their own meals.
So a guy who stops in a club during the day and wants to get a steak and and beer and maybe a dance or two is jumped on as if he were a cash cow.
The old rule of leaving the customer alone until after the meal is gone. If I am lucky enough to sit down, order and start eating, alone, I know two dancers will jump into the booth before I'm half finished, expecting drinks or worse a free lunch. Rude.
This behavior is common in Detroit at Tycoons, Cheetahs and the Coliseum. That's why I have dropped those clubs from my regular rotation.
I know they have drink quotas, tip outs, etc. If you give me half a chance I might buy dances, with a hefty tip, and you can decide what you want to do with the money you've earned by providing a special entertaining experience. This high pressure sales approach drives me away from your club and you lose my money.
Thanks, SD. That's pretty awful; *I'd* be pissed off if I was a customer. As my club doesn't offer meals, I usually wait until the customer has a drink in hand and has been there for a few minutes before I approach and ask to sit with him. I learned this from watching older dancers and younger dancers, the ones my age; the former would be the ones to get drinks and dances, and the pouncy younger girls, even if they were hotter, would be turned away for being vultures.
@Harrydave:spot on.If I'm sitting at the bar and a girl sits beside me I am fine with it
A table however is different
If she sits without being asked it's rude.
The selling ladies' drinks part is also a nuisance to me. See my thread on that subject:
Annoying Strip Club Practices – Part 1: “Wanna Buy the Lady a Drink?â€
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"Wanna dance" pisses most of us off but usually only applies when the dancer just approaches us and those are the first words out of her mouth. If a dancer spends time chatting with me first, I don't mind it at all. It's usually a question of who asks first. I know a couple of dancer that will never ask. "If he wants a dance, he will ask". Dancer that don't spend some chattying first, will never make my favorites list.
Ironically, my current fav is the sole dancer to approach me who I've kept around. Of course she talked to me for twenty minutes, by my side, never getting in my lap, and never asking for a dance. I had to ask if she was a dancer or a waitress! It was her first night. She then went on stage, got naked, and I fell in love. Total anomaly.
I already know that a LD is on the menu and there is no need to bring it up. Very rarely will I get a LD if solicited by the dancer because if I want one I’ll ask without prompting. I’m attracted to self-confident non-predators and I prefer the traditional male/female interrelationship roles. Of course my type of behavior is probably hard for most dancers to read and they risk wasting their time with some cheap bastard.
The irksome part locally is that lengthy conversations are virtually impossible in many clubs because of the predatory waitresses. In most cases, the dancer doesn't have to be sitting for more than half a minute before being pounced on to buy a drink. I've gotten into the habit of sitting at the bar, as the bartenders are busier, and so don't get to you as quickly. :)
As far as asking for a lap dance, I don't really care if someone comes up and suggests, but if there is a lady that I want to get one from, I will let her know while she is on stage. A whisper in the ear while she is showing some appreciation... BTW, after a great lap dance, the lady is getting $5s from me at the stage...
For drinks, I'll ask if I'm interested in buying that $8 water for the lady.
The hottest dancers have been the ones on stage that have a naughty air about them and keep an eye on you. They are like the spider sitting in the middle of the web, daring you to approach. And when you finally do, they'll have you by how they react to your tip. Even the smallest tip can get a lingering purr or a playful package grab or a slow kiss on the cheek. That will usually seal the deal. And if you have a lot of marks--I mean clients--lined up, they will find you if they can see that you are genuinely trying to juggle them all and get to each. If they see you walking away, or sitting somewhere else with other dancers, or lounging with some cheap-ass, they will resent it.
On the drink thing, don't run some scam with the waitress. If the guy wants to buy you a drink, he'll ask and then flag down a waitress. If it is a dancer I want to ditch, I will purposefully not order her a drink while I order myself a drink. But many times that's not enough of a hint.
I hope you found these comments helpful Now you know that all you have to do is chat first, don't chat - just ask, don't approach, do approach, don't bring up LDs, or feel free to ask, lol.
It helps if you're still sweaty and covered in residual motor oil/cut grass from your last dance.
In general, I'll offer a drink if I want to buy one - but if the aforementioned scenario 1 has occurred and the dancer would prefer a drink to dance I've got no problem with her asking. I can't see a scenario where I'd buy a drink for a dancer I wouldn't just as soon buy a dance from though.
The "dancer drink" scenario isn't really common around here, so waitress don't generally push drinks. I think that would prompt me to seek entertainment elsewhere.
Sometimes if a club is short on waitresses, a manager or someone else will attempt to sell drinks. I hate being bought drinks! Lol..To those who sell them, stay the f*** away from me. Stay the f*** out of my conversation. Stay the f*** out of my VIP booth and stay the f*** out of my way.
I never want someone to feel pressured by me. And If I am turned down, I don't want them to think I am upset because I'm not at all. I want the best for them and that doesn't alway mean me.
A: Sure, if she doesn't mind the club getting money that she would've gotten instead.
BTW, 25, you may push me anytime!!!
As soon as I sit in the booth, a dancer sits next to me. I didn't invite her and she did not ask "May I join you." Rude.
As soon as she sits down, in seconds, a waitress shows up "Buy the lady a drink?" I'm supposed the believe that this is just chance?
When the drinks arrive a second dancer shows up and sits in the booth, uninvited. No sooner does she plop down, the waitress is back to take her drink order. Remember dancer drinks are jacked up at least 10% over the already overpriced customer drinks.
Now, the real trap is set. If I stopped in for lunch, I cannot eat without hearing these two dancers whine about being hungry. Am I required to buy them lunch to shut them up? And buy dances on top of that? Remember dancers have to buy their own meals.
So a guy who stops in a club during the day and wants to get a steak and and beer and maybe a dance or two is jumped on as if he were a cash cow.
The old rule of leaving the customer alone until after the meal is gone. If I am lucky enough to sit down, order and start eating, alone, I know two dancers will jump into the booth before I'm half finished, expecting drinks or worse a free lunch. Rude.
This behavior is common in Detroit at Tycoons, Cheetahs and the Coliseum. That's why I have dropped those clubs from my regular rotation.
I know they have drink quotas, tip outs, etc. If you give me half a chance I might buy dances, with a hefty tip, and you can decide what you want to do with the money you've earned by providing a special entertaining experience. This high pressure sales approach drives me away from your club and you lose my money.
A table however is different
If she sits without being asked it's rude.
You have a great attitude. If I'm ever in Atlanta, I will definitely check out Follies and look for you.
Annoying Strip Club Practices – Part 1: “Wanna Buy the Lady a Drink?â€