As many people here have mentioned, I know that strippers are mainly there to get money from you. It's their job. Some do it by acting like you two have a deeper connection than her other clients. Some do it by appealing to your good side by telling you all the things going wrong in her life. But some people talk about actually being friends with a stripper. How do you decide if a stripper is actually becoming a "friend who strips", and how do you know when it's just an act?
When a dancer starts talking a lot about her personal life and doesn't seem to be trying to get dances, you might have become a friend instead of the typical customer.
Friends are people who have more than just one thing in common. My first ATF and I had the same interests in music and movies. She would only charge me 200 for a weekend. We spent a lot of the weekend watching movies we liked. Our relationship ended when she suddenly, inexplicably, changed her phone number and address.
Closest parallel to a stripper actually enjoying my company without charging per hour, asking for "loans", trying to get me to go along with her scheme, or her asking favors without intention of returning a favor.
I remember I once knew a dancer who I visited at her townhouse. I thought of myself as still being like a customer for a while since usually she wanted to do private dances at her house instead of the club. When I called her and asked if she wanted me to stop by without getting any dances, she said yes. I was going to be in the area for a job interview. Anyway she seemed excited by the possibility of me moving there and said she would be able to come visit me at my home everyday and dance for me. I was a bit alarmed when I heard her say every day. I was thinking I can't afford that! The fact that I was visiting her at her house without spending any money on her meant I was more friend than customer. I didn't even think about it at the time.
All dancers are actresses. Some are better actors than others. Only you will know when the actress is not acting. But you will know. Friendships take time to develop.
I also went out with another dancer who I originally met in a strip club and never paid her any money for her time or anything of that sort. Well I occasionally did pay for a couple of meals when we went out to eat. She paid on some other occasions.
Another dancer who in hind site wanted to go out with me but I didn't want to go out with any more dancers at the time, paid for all her drinks herself while she sat with me for hours in the club. I did buy one ten dollar dance once an hour because she said she would get in trouble with management if she didn't do that minimum. I liked that at first but then told her there were a couple of other dancers I wanted to get dances from before the club closed. She kept her time down to only an hour or so on later visits. A number of months later she told me she had a boyfriend and was no longer
available.
Several dancers are expert at making guys think they are interested in going out but only want your money. It's why they're working there. They have experiences with thousands of customers if they've been working for a little while. They can con unsuspecting guys super easy.
Well, my fav gave me a card once, and some Vegas souvenirs another time. Texts me sometimes to check how I'm doing or to tell me something cute. Kinda a friend.
Oh, back in the day, a couple girls who were strippers used to drop by to party. You know, the 80's. Didnt meet them in the club, just bumped into them somewhere, I forget.
If she sit's with you for long periods of time & never ask for a private dance or a drink she may be cool but if every discussion ends with "can you buy me" or "you wanna go in the back" then 4get it, it's an act...
I'm sure we each have our ways of determining when a stripper becomes a friend. In all my years, I can say that there is only one that became more than just a stripper. She became a small part of my family, but only she and I know of "our" connection. My ATF. I've searched for a replacement for years to no avail. A couple have come close (vm, "C" is one), but none have been a replacement.
I have several dancer friends, including a couple who have retired. Friends like each other and will help each other, and so it can't be all about money. However, I would never ask my dancer friends for free lap dances. That's their job and they deserve to be paid for it.
bear2k, if you have to ask that question you are very likely being hustled. While friendships sometimes do arise, they are very infrequent. It is usually safe to asume that you are being played when you start thinking these thoughts. Besides, do you really want some dancer's drama in your life anyway? I sure as fuck don't.
Seems like I just answered this question on another thread. I met gridget(TUSCL name) about 8 years ago. We just grew on each other to the point that she is now my best friend. In her words a friend with stripper benefits. Although she is retired from stripping, she will still go to the club and hang with me all day. She will dance on stage but only does private dances with me. We do see each other OTC and have no secrets. The only bummer is that we live 194 miles apart. My kids know all about her from me and there are a dozen TUSCLers that have met her.
This is a very rare situation. Do not go looking for love in all the wrong places.
Its easy to get carried away so be careful, the good ones are skillful and can make you feel like a million bucks so you will give them a million bucks (obviously that part is an exaggeration ... for some).
i have 2 friends that are strippers
1 she was my friend and then i happen to walk into a club and she her legs spread on the stage lol.. me and her are like brother and sister so i dont get any laps from her because were just friend but she comes in handy because she always brings me the best dancer even though she told a dancer i had like 3 times as much money in my pocket then i did
the other was a former ATF used to always get dances spend alot of time with her.. now that shes not dancing anymore we still talk and have lunch from time to time
I have a couple of stripper friends I met in clubs. I'm catching a concert with one of them this week. No money will change hands. I do still get dances from her in the club, but not enough to talk about. The other, I only see once a month or so, but we talk, text, and facebook often.
I have one who is a friend. Met her within the last year. She was a rookie stripper and we clicked somehow. We text frequently and get together once in awhile (restaurants, casino), we split the expenses.
I've gotten dances from her in the past but it's been awhile. I've always paid. She never asked me for dances and said she didn't care if I got any or not. On more than one ocassion said she felt funny about charging me. Seemed to appreciate me giving her advice as a rookie stripper and having me to hang with between stage sets and dances with other customers. I've also been to her restaurant where she waitresses a couple of nights a week and she gives me a nice discount.
I do have several other stripper "friends" but it's more business like, I pay for all dances and pay all expenses when we hang outside the club.
I'm thinking I have a somewhat stricter definition of "friend" than many here.
Like them? Absolutely. I'm not comfortable having sex, other than maybe a BJ, from somebody I don't like. But a friend? That's somebody I can call in the night when I need a ride home, or a shoulder to cry on (not that I cry, of course), or advice on a gift for my wife. I sounds like Gridget would qualify, but I'm not so sure about the others.
It's entirely possible that my opinion is colored by my experience, but I can't really help that.
My ATF fits your criteria well. As a matter of fact, I've done most all you said. She even went shopping with me for wife's gift. We've been in each others home. She has been to family events. She is a friend, without doubt, just one that no one else knows about outside of the "norm".
I have a couple friends who started out as my favorites at the strip club I'm a regular at... Oddly enough I actually became extremely close with one of them, though the other is just mostly a "Hey how are you" very casual type of friend.
Do be careful though, because not everyone is going to respond to having a stripper as a friend in a positive way. I learned the hard way its easier to just not mention how you met if you plan on bringing them on vacations or have them around your family/inner circle of friends. You may think they're open minded but everyone has their preconcieved notions about "strippers". And no matter how right or wrong they are, they will affect interactions in a major way.
Another word to the wise, be careful who you let into your life from that lifestyle... I'd be lying if I said I didn't aquire a fair amount of drama in my life because of my one friend.
I have my ATF that I have seen out side the club for lunch and some drinks its more like a playful/lets have some fun type of relationship. The other dancer I only meet once and she gave me a a LD with her friends for only 20 dollars. Every week text, changes when she stop by my city and her city as well. I'm pretty sure Booth are lonely, my ATF has more of a wall then the other dancer.
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Closest parallel to a stripper actually enjoying my company without charging per hour, asking for "loans", trying to get me to go along with her scheme, or her asking favors without intention of returning a favor.
Another dancer who in hind site wanted to go out with me but I didn't want to go out with any more dancers at the time, paid for all her drinks herself while she sat with me for hours in the club. I did buy one ten dollar dance once an hour because she said she would get in trouble with management if she didn't do that minimum. I liked that at first but then told her there were a couple of other dancers I wanted to get dances from before the club closed. She kept her time down to only an hour or so on later visits. A number of months later she told me she had a boyfriend and was no longer
available.
I also have a customer who frequents this website and posts quite a bit. He's become a friend.
I'm sure we each have our ways of determining when a stripper becomes a friend. In all my years, I can say that there is only one that became more than just a stripper. She became a small part of my family, but only she and I know of "our" connection. My ATF. I've searched for a replacement for years to no avail. A couple have come close (vm, "C" is one), but none have been a replacement.
This is a very rare situation. Do not go looking for love in all the wrong places.
1 she was my friend and then i happen to walk into a club and she her legs spread on the stage lol.. me and her are like brother and sister so i dont get any laps from her because were just friend but she comes in handy because she always brings me the best dancer even though she told a dancer i had like 3 times as much money in my pocket then i did
the other was a former ATF used to always get dances spend alot of time with her.. now that shes not dancing anymore we still talk and have lunch from time to time
I've gotten dances from her in the past but it's been awhile. I've always paid. She never asked me for dances and said she didn't care if I got any or not. On more than one ocassion said she felt funny about charging me. Seemed to appreciate me giving her advice as a rookie stripper and having me to hang with between stage sets and dances with other customers. I've also been to her restaurant where she waitresses a couple of nights a week and she gives me a nice discount.
I do have several other stripper "friends" but it's more business like, I pay for all dances and pay all expenses when we hang outside the club.
Like them? Absolutely. I'm not comfortable having sex, other than maybe a BJ, from somebody I don't like. But a friend? That's somebody I can call in the night when I need a ride home, or a shoulder to cry on (not that I cry, of course), or advice on a gift for my wife. I sounds like Gridget would qualify, but I'm not so sure about the others.
It's entirely possible that my opinion is colored by my experience, but I can't really help that.
My ATF fits your criteria well. As a matter of fact, I've done most all you said. She even went shopping with me for wife's gift. We've been in each others home. She has been to family events. She is a friend, without doubt, just one that no one else knows about outside of the "norm".
Do be careful though, because not everyone is going to respond to having a stripper as a friend in a positive way. I learned the hard way its easier to just not mention how you met if you plan on bringing them on vacations or have them around your family/inner circle of friends. You may think they're open minded but everyone has their preconcieved notions about "strippers". And no matter how right or wrong they are, they will affect interactions in a major way.
Another word to the wise, be careful who you let into your life from that lifestyle... I'd be lying if I said I didn't aquire a fair amount of drama in my life because of my one friend.