YOUR policy on extras?

avatar for HarleyKing
HarleyKing
Florida
Assuming they are offered and on the table (so to speak), what is YOUR policy on getting or receiving extra's?

I'm sure most of us having got to touch the breasts fairly often and on one occasion I was encouraged to pet the kitty.

But much farther then that and one is risking arrest and worse, possibly being labeled a "sex offender" by your community or state.

My wife and I frequent a particular club together and we usually have a good time. She has no problems either if I go alone or with a friend. With that said I recently asked her what she would think if I were to get a HJ and she said she could care less. She then further elaborated that she would rather me have sex with one then get a BBBJ for "no telling where her mouth has been".

Needless to say we have a great and very trusting relationship,but I'm not about to hook up with one either.

Though in Houston once on a business trip I had the lady I had been with (the same one who let me pet the kitty)want me to take her to dinner (her shift was over) and I was getting ready to leave. I kindly said no thanks.

So basically where do you all draw the line and why?

41 comments

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avatar for FONDL
FONDL
18 years ago
Book Guy, I've been in many clubs that have such special rooms. But I've never been willing to spend enough to experience them. I draw the line at $200, for which I can buy three great massages.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
18 years ago
FONDL: there are plenty of clubs that do have a "wiggle" room, a super-VIP where supra-VIP behavior can and does take place. I know of one where there is a SECRET room. After you've paid the cover and secured your girl, you are let into a room behind the VIP that is actually sealed with a mirrored wall that blends in entirely once it is closed behind you. I know of other clubs where the "upstairs" or the "champagne" is laid out such that there's PLENTY of ... erm ... "wiggle" room.

In fact, they ought to call it the Wiggle Room. That's a pretty good name, either for the extra-VIP VIP room, or for a strip club itself. :)
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
18 years ago
ANs term "wiggle room" seems especially appropriate here. Maybe clubs should all have one in addition to the champagne room.

Chandler, just wondering if you've ever been to a club where instead of a VIP room or two they have individual cubicles that provide total privacy? Would such a place alter your policy?
avatar for chandler
chandler
18 years ago
FONDL: Those cubicles feel a little weird to me. I don't care for total privacy at a strip club. I value the social aspect of the experience too much. I would still want to return to the main room for more fun, so getting off would kind of spoil that for me.
avatar for chandler
chandler
18 years ago
If the right girl comes along, I might be up for a lot of things, but getting a handjob or a quick blowjob in a VIP room ain't among them.
avatar for AbbieNormal
AbbieNormal
18 years ago
My policy? So far it has been somewhere between Chitown and Chandler, and evolving. In general I don't want/go for them, but as FONDL correctly points out, that policy seems to contain some wiggle room depending on the girl.
avatar for enquiz2001
enquiz2001
18 years ago
If you have the privacy and the protection, then I think a HJ or a CBJ is not a problem - extras or part of the service plan in the place. But no matter what - protection is essential to all service activity.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
18 years ago
I think you also have to ask to what extent would you be willing to ignore your extras policy if the right girl came along. I'm glad my ATF never wanted to find out the answer to that question with me.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
18 years ago
Kissing? Not an "extra." Also not expected, but always appreciated.

I'd do anything in the club -- mister happy coming out, not coming out, condom or not -- depending on the situation, privacy, etc. I "get" the rule about condom-requires-hotel, and I actually often run on the basis of that. (Especially simply because of privacy and comfort. If you're going to be doing something you want to enjoy, it isn't enjoyable if you're trapped in a constricting chair, hiding from the bouncer, not able to rearrange, etc. etc.) But I don't apply the rule on its own, I simply end up behaving in similar manners because of other considerations.
avatar for chitownlawyer
chitownlawyer
18 years ago
I will permit Mr. Happy to come out if conditions favor discretion. However, f*****g is out of the question; I think I draw the line there because "losing" yourself in the experience requires letting down one's guard too much. I like the rule about any act requiring a condom also requiring a hotel room.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
I wasn't under the opinion that kissing on the lips was that rare. Seems to happen less often now and I don't mind. I remember several years ago several dancers seemed to kiss me on the lips even though I just met them. I think more people including myself are now concerned over possible sexually transmitted diseases and where that mouth has been. Of course some do not care. I believe the first stripper I met (actually at a fraternity party) did a DFK. I was probably slightly intoxicated and enjoyed it at that time. I might be a bit concerned now if a total stranger did that to me. Unless she's hot than I may forget all reason and act irrationally like most guys.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
18 years ago
For me the issue rarely comes up (no pun intended.) Maybe it's because of the type of club that I usually go to(neighborhood places that don't offer much privacy) or maybe it's because of the type of girl that I generally end up with (young, intelligent, girl-next-door types), but I've rarely encountered extras being offered, and that's just fine with me. In any case, where I drew the line would probably depend on how well I knew the girl and how much I liked her. My definition of an extra is anything that involves Mr. Happy coming out to play. Everything else has become so common that it can hardly be called extra.
avatar for Mickkeyc
Mickkeyc
18 years ago
Doug, I really think it depends on the dancer. It happened to me before, and I deduced (from what follows) that the particular dancer was doing it and more with others.

With my favorite, I am not so sure.
avatar for DougS
DougS
18 years ago
Mickkeyc: That's a good point on the DFKing.

I wouldn't consider it an extra at all, but in my experiences I've found it to be rare. If my memory is correct, I've experienced only five dancers that I've shared a lip kiss with, only three were DFKs. That number may be skewed a bit because I tend to spend more time with known dancers, rather than sampling a lot.

As for the DFKs, I've had regulars that I've never shared this with. Out of the three, I would only consider one of them a regular of mine.

I had definite reservations with the two-non regular DFK experiences, but I kind'a was caught up in the moment. The DFKing shared with the regular, there was no apprehension.

Is it risky? I'd say most definitely. Is it wise? I don't think so.

It's definitely very intimate, and because of that very enjoyable. To me, it takes the "relationship" to a higher level.

If a dancer initiates (or alllows) DFK, in your experiences, do you think it means there's a "connection" or is it more commonly just another way that the dancer uses to make you feel more special and aid in the fantasy?
avatar for Mickkeyc
Mickkeyc
18 years ago
Good responses, but I couldn't help but notice one "extra" that was not covered:

Do you classify kissing as an "extra" for you? Do you DFK, or do you consider it too personal and/or risky?

For me, kissing is great but I limit it to my favorite. Any thoughts?
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
Extra note about the above^, I tried to get her to stop bugging me for dances by asking her if she would do them for free and was surprised to hear her say yes after a couple minutes. First time for everything I guess. I don't usually argue with dancers that much.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
If I'm not attracted to a dancer I will still say no to her even if she's just wants to treat me like a boyfriend outside of the club. I remember one dancer argued with me constantly (trying to get dances) while I said no a million ways. One night she went so far as to offer free dances and I still said no. Then she invited me to her house which I thought was suspicious but I still said no and then she finally gave it up (her arguing).
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
18 years ago
I'm up for anything she may wanna do. The freakier the better. Arrest? Pfft. I'm more afraid of secretly being taped in the VIP room and ending up on a "Girls Gone Wild" video. Yikes!
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
I've tried to set a line in the sand but you never know what some stripper you've never met before is going to do if she doesn't indicate it. Like shadowcat said, if a dancer wants to do something that should require a condom for both of our protections, she should ask me to visit her for free of course outside of the club. It is rare that something like this ever happens when I'm traveling to different strip clubs but I hear about it happening. If a dancer happens to ask, I just say no unless she is talking about just boyfriend girlfriend stuff outside of the club.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
18 years ago
The more the better, is my desire. I'm there for the extras. I seldom get them -- some clubs are a sure bet, some are a rare chance -- but I'm never there for something deliberately LESS than extra service.

Although I wouldn't really want to think about a girl who does it with any ol' guy who comes into her strip club, I nevertheless (typical male hypocrisy) want her to do it with ME even if I'm just any ol' guy who comes into her strip club. I consider my strip clubbing as basically the tip of my mongering / hobbying iceberg, and, I imagine, there are very few occasions upon which I would be disappointed to hear a girl offer me more services, ITC or OTC.

That having been said, if I do not find her attractive physically (mostly) and interpersonally (also necessary, but to a lesser degree), then I'm probably not interested in her extras. Furthermore, the monetary cost of the service, and the availability of certain necessary ancillary considerations (privacy, comfortable seating / lounging furniture, condom, likelihood of not getting arrested) are also part of the consideration.

Oh, and I think we need to remind ourselves of what we mean by "extra service." In a large number of reviews, I see men referring to a hand-grope from on top of their zipper (during which act none of his clothing is removed or opened, and she performs no more than one or three strokes) as "extra" or even "HJ." I don't use those terms in that way. To me, there's the "technically legal" lap dance (different in every jurisdiction, but rather restrictive usually); the "reasonably expected" lap dance (similar in any jurisdiction: expectations include my hands on her breasts, maybe my hands on her kitty, my mouth sucking her nipples, her at full straddle on me, her hands EVERYWHERE on me, though little removal of my clothing, and her full nudity or nudity except for G-string). THEN, beyond that, there is "extra" service (removal of my willie for manual, oral, or vaginal stimulation). Please note that "reasonably expected" lap dancing by my definition is NOT "extra service" by my definition, even though within the "reasonably expected" are extra-legal activities in many jurisdictions.

So, is this explicit enough? Should we email Founder and ask him to remove this post? :)
avatar for HarleyKing
HarleyKing
18 years ago
That's kinda how I feel. Like I said in my orginal post, I'm not crazy about my dick being fully exposed in a public venue.

As for cuming in my pants via a HJ or good grinding.....Not real sure how I feel about doing that. We all have a point of no return of course, but I've never (yet) let myself cross that line. However, return trip to Treasures may be in cards and no telling what will happen this time.

avatar for chandler
chandler
18 years ago
I draw a line at my dick coming out of my pants or her making me cum. Other than that, anything goes. Strip clubs for me are all about the journey, not the destination.
avatar for Yoda
Yoda
18 years ago
I can't honestly say I worry about it. Raids are not common where I go clubbing. If a dancer gets caught doing something she's not supposed to do she gets fired or sent home. I've never been caught...I find the smart dancers.
avatar for parodyman-->
parodyman-->
18 years ago
MY policy on extras in not to do them...

meaning not to partake!
avatar for Yoda
Yoda
18 years ago
I agree with FONDL. A certain type of customer may in fact be looking for extras but I don't beleive that type of customer is anywhere near a majority. Statistics are going to be skewed by what type of club you are talking about also.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
18 years ago
"95% of guys that I have spoken with go to clubs for extras. The ones that aren't into extras probably don't go to clubs very often." That may be true of younger guys who go to clubs where extras are readily available, but for the majority of clubs where they aren't and for the thousands of older guys who go to clubs regularly out of boredom looking for company, it definately isn't. Go to nearly any downscale club that's open during the day and you'll see a bunch of old retired guys sitting at the bar having a beer. They almost never get any private dances, let alone extras, because they can't afford them, nor is that what they're lookng for.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
18 years ago
*I* got the joke, but I didn't think it would be nice to laugh.
avatar for chandler
chandler
18 years ago
Bones, I was commenting on your line about ANYTIME (your emphasis) your penis is touched by human hands. If not the dancer's hands, whose? Hey, not that there's anything wrong with it.
avatar for chandler
chandler
18 years ago
Bones, I have to say that's the first time I've seen anyone count masturbation as an extra. Enjoy yourself indeed.
avatar for trickystick
trickystick
18 years ago
I agree with Bones on policy or lack thereof. I go with what I want to do at the time. The definition of extra is clearly what Bones said. Guys that think anything less than that is an extra have very low expectations!

95% of guys that I have spoken with go to clubs for extras. The ones that aren't into extras probably don't go to clubs very often. There are some exceptions, however, as evidenced by this thread. I can't figure out why you'd go to a club to just look if you can also touch or be touched, but I guess that's just me!
avatar for chandler
chandler
18 years ago
I'm actually glad to see that extras continues to mean different things to people in different clubs. A nationally standardized definition would indicate that expectations are nearly uniform from locale to locale. I like it better knowing that there are clubs where light stick shifting is something to get excited about.
avatar for maybeenuf4u
maybeenuf4u
18 years ago
I'm up for most anything, from a grind off to a hand job. Tho I also am not a wealthy man. Limited funds mean that extras are rare. But I like the comment that said something like if I ned a condom then its best done in my room!
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
18 years ago
Yah, "if mister happy comes out to play." Useful def for TUSCL discussion. I kind of get annoyed when someone posts about "extras" and what they mean is, she gropes the outside of his zipper and pumps a little.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
18 years ago
Shadowcat, my answer to your question is that whether or not you pay extra is irrelevant, it's what you do that counts, and while they don't ask for anything extra it probably does get them bigger tips and more repeat business. As you well know a lot of girls in a lot of places will do extras because they think it's expected, it's part of what you are buying. But to me it's still an extra if Mr. Happy comes out to play.
avatar for Yoda
Yoda
18 years ago
Shadowcat: I think in these modern times the question is "is it an extra if she does it all the time?" I got a hand job yesterday that was totally unsolicited. I sat in the chair, se dropped her top and bottom and got on her knees and reached into my shorts. She told me to relax, I did what I was told. Not only did she not ask me for extra money, it was the club's 2 for 1 day so she was strking little yoda at half price!
avatar for Yoda
Yoda
18 years ago
sorry forall the typos, the keyboard on my laptop is on it's way out....
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
If a dancer looks good and she suddenly performs an extra without asking, I would just sit back and take it. A dancer usually doesn't get me so relaxed unless I've been drinking and planning on staying awhile to let it wear off. I apparently seem to stay away from dancers who are too suggestive immediately after I enter a club. That just makes me think they are playing a con game attempting to get me to spend a lot of money.
avatar for whatevergong82
whatevergong82
18 years ago
If the girl is hot, somewhat friendly, and the prices reasonable (Around $150 or less for the Main Menu- and I've had CFS for $100 with a 7 1/2 dancer) then Extras are allowed.

I don't mind doing extras in the club if time permits, but I expect to eventually do some OTC activity with the dancer if she wants more fun with me in the future.
avatar for hugevladfan
hugevladfan
18 years ago
Would a champagne room be considered a secret room? I have never been in a supra VIP room, but I've been in a room within a room (but accessible through glass doors). No bouncer around but I am guessing we could be seen somehow. It was uber private and a damn good experience.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
18 years ago
Yoda, it probably also depends on when you go. One of the reasons that I prefer clubbing during the day is that most of the customers at that time in the clubs I like are old guys who never buy a private dance. Which means that I have my pick of girls and that no one else is going to be in the LD room. What could be better?
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
18 years ago
Perhaps it's like a continental breakfast. I don't call that an extra. It just becomes part of the normal routine for a hotel chain.
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