Facebook

If you like your marriage I definitely would not become friends with her on facebook. You can call me paranoid but I wouldn't be giving out hardly any personal information if I was married and didn't want the wife to find out. Of course if your wife doesn't care, you may be ok with the two of them sharing whatever they want to. They could even chat about your recent strip club experiences. I'm wondering if the dancer knows you are married or if she doesn't care. Of course you might be asking the wrong person because I am a bit paranoid about facebook.

I think you just answered your own question with your last sentence.

If you have this many concerns about your SO finding out, it's just not worth worrying about. If your ATF knows you have a possibly nosey wife at home, she'll understand why you can't 'friend' her. Pass on the offer and move on.

I'm single and one dancer I knew away from the clubs got into an argument with me one time. Apparently she knew from something I said that I didn't talk about her to anyone I knew. I think she must have thought I was afraid to be associated with a stripper or something. Anyway she attempted to threaten me by telling all my friends and relatives and everyone she could find that I had been seeing her. We weren't having sex but she could have made up any story and it would have been my word against hers. I simply did not like everyone at work talking about me because they had no lives at all, some of them at least so I kept quiet about everything. I simply laughed at her and she never attempted to follow through. She wasn't that angry with me. I forgot to mention she was about 21 and very hot. All the guys at work would stop working and really pay attention if she started making up stories about me and her if she had visited where I work at. She had my home phone number and she knew where I worked at.

I don't understand why you need to use Facebook. It's for children and nerds.

If you want to add her on Facebook, make a new separate Facebook account for it. It's very easy to do. Don't add her on your primary one.

Why in the world would you friend her? Too many headaches with no upside that I can see. Worst case is she'll get offended and withhold extras. Almost sounds like a wife. Screw it. Keep things the way they are or, if the extras dry up, just move on.

What gillydon said. Problem solved by just creating a new FB.

Agreed with gillydon.

If you want to keep in touch with folks you don't want knowing too much about you personally, e.g. strippers, blind dates, mistresses etc. then having a second FB account under a pseudonym or nickname is a good idea.

I'm surprised people put any kind of personal info on the interwebs but that's just me being paranoid.

Make a second FB account specifically for these kinds of endeavours. Problem solved!

Unless you're prepared to make an entirely separate FB account, don't. This falls under the category of "compartmentalize your life", which means putting her in a box away from everything else, lest any of it interact with each other. All it takes is one slip-up and it's a disaster.

Mostly I think it sucks that you're young enough to be able to explain away a stripper as a "childhood friend". ;-)

But mostly, I'd say you'd be better to ask her to move in with you and your wife. Every other day, FB comes up with a new way to violate our privacy. Even if she never went anywhere else on the web, FB friending her is a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD IDEA !

As some above have said, relationships can turn sour--this especially goes for dancer/customer relationships. Jealousies develop. Favorites change, etc. I had a solid "friendship" relationship with a dancer for four years. We went on several dates, did lots of OTC. After I didn't see her for six months (we lived in different cities by then)our relationship went quite awry. Now I wish I never met her. If we both had Facebook accounts (neither of us do or did), I sense that one or both of us would have had big problems as a result. You have the right instinct. I recommend that dancers and customers should not be Facebook friends.

I have a FB account just for mongering. Club info. Dancers, etc.

Thanks, all, for the advice. I knew I could count on you for some thought-provoking responses. Especially gatorfan (although I'm a bit surprised his answer didn't involve my sticking my dick in one of her orifices).

To answer a couple questions/issues: yes, she knows I'm married. And yes, LeeH, we are the same age. :-)

After sleeping on it and thinking for a while with the big head, I agree with all of you. Too much potential for disaster. If I want to put in the work to create a new FB page (easy, I know, but still work), then I will do it. But probably not. I've worked hard to keep my club life separate from my home life, and I want to keep it that way. I think she will understand.

Thanks again.

I have a separate FB account that I use just for friending strippers. It works out well, especially since the only places from which I access it are my phone and an ancient laptop running Linux. And on that account, I'm female. :)

gator: Since I'm a childish nerd, I guess that explains my willingness to mess around with it.

I have a couple of dancers that are on my Facebook. I am also married. How do I handle it? My SO is, for the most part, is computer illiterate. Also, in my line of work, I see many many new and different people all the time. Another, I have many biker women on FB, and anyone of them could be a dancer, so who is to know but me?

If you're happily married theres no sense whatsoever in letting the relationship expand. She already has you wrapped artound her finger so you're already headed for trouble. Eventually her car will need fixing and when you decline, she'll just say something like "maybe I can ask your wife for the loan" and then you can stand on the shores of divorceland and waive good-bye to half your assets. When strippers become part of someone's real life, that real life is diminished.

Good points, skibum609, and all the more reason to keep my worlds separate. But I do feel the need to clarify and/or defend myself about being "wrapped around her little finger." I meant while at the club only. If this degenerates into $$ demands or blackmail attempts I am fully prepared to walk away from her--and the club too, if need be.

I guess I was temporarily enamored with the idea of her offer but now see the many dangers. Best to keep the relationship as "professional" as possible.

I simply don't add customers on Facebook, and I get irritated when they add me too. I don't want them knowing my last name, the names of my family members, etc. I don't even add other dancers because of the headache it involves.

A customer is a customer is a customer, no matter how "close" you are.

never messed with facbook, zero interest in it.

good to hear you decided not to go the Facebook route. had a dancer give me her account info and ask me to friend her as well as exchange emails. went bad reeeeeal fast! within a few weeks, she was sending me emails asking when I was going to be back, why was I talking to some other dancer the last time I was in the club, why wouldn't I do this/that/the-other-thing...bad news all around. keep the club stuff in the club, never bring it anywhere near your 'real' world (even online)!

I have a FB account (Area 51) for what I call Projects. I use my nickname as firstname. My wife does not know about the account and since she just wants a business relationship I have nothing to loose anyhow. While wife has FB account, I certainly have no desire to "befriend" her. It would be like the government letting the news media into a black budget base like Area 51.

I took it out to mainly befriend my fav I have been seeing three years. She danced at the Ritz. Sinch then I have friended three other women I have had sex with. Most of the friends are people associated with my online business as I use FB for free advertising thru my posts. A coupla of clubs are friends. FB is a fantastic source of intelligence gathering, stalking ATF's, mining all kinda pics. I even have FB mobile on my cell phone so I can c what certain friends are up to. I have befriended all kinda sexy gals and get daily updates on the specials my fav clubs are doing. This afternoon I discovered my fav is going on a weekend trip with hubby. She had pushed last nite via text to meet for a nooner and this after our session on Wednesday. I had just finished doing a stripper in VIP at a club as my wife was having ladies bunko nite and I could not resist going to the club.

I have even hooked up using FB with gals I had done a coupla years back. My fav has hundreds of photos on FB and I have used it to mine many for my archive. A past fav (stripped at Ricks South) I did many times (Wendy) who is now in Arizona says she is coming back to Houston in August and wants to meetup. Another one (Shelly) is married to the father of her 4th kid (she has 3 others by 2 other men and this last guy left her when she was pg - It makes me sick she married him) and recently posted some bik photos. I did her last summer for $125 after chatting wtih her on FB. What is strange about this is I had done her about 75 times 2004-07 and then in summer of 2010 a 76th time; go figure. Marriage does not keep them from doing any business.

I highly recommend using FB to befriend and stalk strippers and other women "of interest." A few tips:

1. Do not use your real name - a stage name you use for SC and hookers is best. Frankly I think using your real name on FB is a huge mistake.
2. Do not befriend family or work individuals - this is your own area 51.
3. Be careful how you comment and keep a low profile with sensitive targets. Afterall you dont want her husband to see a comment directly linking you with her. I never write anything on their walls and rarely comment about their posts. On Mem Day WE she wore this black bik I liked and there were pics of her with family on FB in it. The following Wed at a session she modeled it for me did some lap dances, strip tease, then we went to bed and fucked.
4. I think many of them want you to be your friend on FB bc they really like to show off and this is a venue that allows that.
5. Be careful what you say in your posts and be sensitive how a fav might respond. Sometimes guys who are friends of strippers who are your friends might have sexy gal friends you can befriend and then try to hook up with LOL.
6. When you are reading her FB posts on daily basis you can get an idea of who her close friends are and monitor their conversations. A lot of a strippers close GF are other hot gals who are strippers and like to work (see sex clients). There is one doarky guy who comments a lot on my favs posts but since he works for Subway I doubt he has any substantial money to really bang her. You do have to wonder who of her male friends might be shagging her but I am really not worried as I am out to lease them not own them.
7. Be careful of befriending multiple girls your fucking at once. Old flames ok.
8. Befriending lots of hot gals ok. Many have their phone number posted on FB. I befriended about 5-6 this guy had as friends who was a SC DJ. They in turn had hot gals as friends and I befriended some of those. Good luck in figuring out which of my FB gal friends I have fucked with all the hot gals I have as FB friends.
9. Dont post sexy photos of your fav you took at motel of her on your FB page - afterall it could mean trouble if BF or hubby saw them not to mention how pissed y fav would be.
10. FB is a wonderful source to mine sexy photos of hot women and comment on them if you like.

I have a dancer and a former dancer on my friend list and I've never had a problem. My advice would be if she abuses the situation in any way drop her like a hot potato and block her just as quickly.

i'm with troop.

me too :)

My 2nd FB account has just 4 friends, 3 strippers and 1 club. It's given me a lot of insight into my CFs issues.