Guys bringing their 'girls' to the club....

22 comments

• troop

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  13 years ago

  your 1st paragraph.. i've seen basically the same situation at least a couple times. regarding the rest of your post, i agree it's not fair to the dancers or customers in the club. i've been in lower end clubs where management tolerated drunk female customer behaviour and in higher end clubs where i saw management/bouncers stop drunk female customers from going too far.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  I've been going to SCs for roughly 10 times as long as you've been dancing, and while I've seen behaviour like you describe, never as atrocious as you describe. Yes, sometimes the "civilian" girls get frisky, but most of the time it's with the dancers, and often instigated by the dancers. That said, if you're working any kind of busy schedule, your experience is no doubt more "concentrated" than mine, as well as being recent. Plus, I tend to stay away from obvious party nights, so I'll defer there. I'd agree that if they're disruptive, it's probably a crappy thing to do to the dancers. Not sure what you can do about it, though.
• samsung1

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  13 years ago

  Remember those females are just bringing along dates to the SC to help pay for the cover and drinks. You can take them home if you have the right game.
• shadowcat

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  13 years ago

  I agree. Coules are fine. But these groups of young people just coming in to party do not enhance my visit. They just get drunk and disrupt things. I wish that they would stay away.
• wil4ferns

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  13 years ago

  My girl and I go about once a year, it really fires things up for us. We barely make it home...lol Dancers always approach us and when my girl find one she like the tips really start rolling in for the dancer, much more than when I am by myself. I have never gone with a group, but have witnessed that a few times and girls that jump up there to show off should be booted out of the club just like drunk guys that try to get on stage.
• Rod8432

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  13 years ago

  Saw a female customer start dancing in the aisle at the Pink Pony and immediately, the DJ came on and said, "If you don't work at the Pony, don't dance at the Pony." Well put. I've actually adopted it as a catch-phrase for when I see anybody doing anything when they shouldn't.
• Clubber

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  13 years ago

  I've been to clubs with my wife, but I am certainly different with her there. She just gets a kick out of guys paying to watch the dancers. Thinks men are stupid. Well, YES WE ARE!
• dudeanonymous

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  13 years ago

  I've seen this happen, as recently as last month. A mixed group of spring breakers, and the girls had way too much to drink and started dancing, first at their tables, and then on stage, down to bras and panties. The bouncers eventually came and politely broke it up before the amateurs started getting naked. The dancers who were supposed to be on stage were good sports about it, but I could tell they weren't happy. I thought they had every right to be pissed off, as the college girls were hogging the stage and keeping them from collecting tips.
• Dudester

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  13 years ago

  I saw a group once-like how kappa described. One of the amateurs was hot and I walked by her on purpose to get a closer look. She got nasty and rude towards me. I found this off putting. As club staff was doing nothing about it, I left.
• gatorfan

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  13 years ago

  B.Y.O.Bitch
• m00tpoint

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  13 years ago

  My wife and I frequent some select clubs in our area as well as New Orleans when we are on vacation. We take many precautions to make sure that we have a hot time while respecting the entertainers. Maybe we (well, my wife actually) will write a post on strip club etiquette for women. We only go as a couple and, honestly, the dancers flock to her within the first 30 minutes because they can see she is cool and knows how to act. We are sorry to see and hear that some women or parties don't know how to act. It ruins it for everyone whether one is there to earn a living, to assuage curiosity or to spice things up.
• lopaw

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  13 years ago

  kappa_girl - There are still a few female customers like myself that visit stripclubs with the sole purpose of getting dances. I don't drink, dis-robe, or do any of the stupid stuff that those drunken idiot girls do while in the club. I rarely visit in groups or even with a male friend in tow. Sadly, I am the very rare exception to the rule. Seems like most female customers are either complete bitches to the dancers or act a fool after drinking too much. It pisses me off I think MORE than you dancers because these classless women customers can ruin it for women like myself who go to clubs to enjoy dances and to have a good time.
• SuperDude

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  13 years ago

  As women have become more assertive about everything, and almost all the changes are necessary, right and way overdue, some women feel that stripclubs should not be just a male preserve. After a few too many drinks a date or a wife will start insisting, if not daring, a husband or a date to give her an inside look at what goes on. (In her drunken fantasy, she has already decided to "show him a thing or two.") They get to the club, already drunk, and she gets really loaded and decides to show what she's got. The dumb guy thinks that his woman is getting hot and hotter and he will be the beneficary of her newly awakened lust. The guy now has a sloppy drunk date/wife on his hand and that can't be much fun, except to a frat boy. The woman is going to wake up with acute remorse and a heavy hangover, blaming him for making her go to the club--a trip that was her idea. She had a point to prove--that she's just as hot as any stripper--and he had a fantasy to fulfill--his date/wife could learn some new moves and really turn him on. They put on a sloppy drunk show at the club, prove nothing and steal from real dancers. Sad.
• joker44

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  13 years ago

  OP Why? Perhaps it's a result of the "stripper culture" that invaded civilian society and fascinated teenage girls and tweens at the beginning of the decade. Exercise classes feature stripper poles and "ex" stripper instructors. Teenage girls are said to aspire to emulate stripper sexuality and dress. Stripping for exercise: [view link] Stripping for Jesus? [view link] "Stripper Culture" [view link] SC & teens: A Stripper Is My Daughter’s Role Model Can a stripper be a role model? Published on April 10, 2008 Diablo Cody (born Brook Busey) is the Academy Award winning screenwriter of the much-heralded indy film, Juno. Cody, not yet 30, is among Hollywood's hottest properties. My 20-year-old daughter, who likewise aspires to be a writer, is extremely fond of Cody. Like many young people, Anna reads Cody's MySpace site and blogs - which she continues even after becoming famous. To tell you the truth, I'm fascinated by Cody. She originally achieved prominence with her memoir, Candy Girl, describing her year spent stripping and working at other sex industry jobs. Cody, and her writing, are unflinching, bold, and funny. I found Candy Girl brilliant - really better than Juno. It is entirely original, an anthropological exploration of an American underworld. It is Cody's ability not to evaluate herself and others and to participate fully in these experiences that makes her so brilliant. Yet some of the clubs she worked at involved full nudity, all encouraged mutual touching by patrons and strippers, and she often worked intoxicated. Working as a stripper and writing about it - after leaving her boyfriend in Chicago and moving to Minneapolis to be with a man she met over the Internet - would have been hard to predict based on her prior life. A self-described nerd from a well-off intact family, Cody attended Catholic schools, graduated college, then worked as a factotum at low-paying jobs. One of her motivations for stripping was money - it enabled Cody and her boyfriend to marry and to buy a home, including his daughter from a prior marriage. (Cody's marriage didn't last.) Of course, she also stripped and wrote about it because she wanted to gain attention as a writer. But Cody also benefits from expressing herself as a stripper. By the end of the book, when she develops a high-paying act, she is proud that she has overcome her prior inhibitions and awkwardness. In short, she found stripping liberating. At the same time, she had bad experiences, did things she was ashamed of, and noted the very sad and very vicious people she met as co-workers, employers, and clients. Finally, she is repulsed by hustling drinks and lap dances and by the people she worked with. Cody has little to say about her own motivation and offers few insights into strippers and johns. At her blog, The Pussy Ranch, she cites a review of Juno in the New Yorker which applies to herself as well: "She's a shrewd girl, and very blunt, yet she's taken in by her own gift for rude comedy, which, as we learn, masks a great deal of uncertainty." Anna's review of Candy Girl: Diablo Cody says it herself; she's a nerd, not a hot little number. In her book she describes her "slacker fat and lumpen glutes" and thighs as "pale and malleable as packaged biscuit dough." She contrasts herself with tanned and extensioned veteran strippers, women who ooze sex and make a thousand dollars a night at the clubs Diablo works in. Initially, her foray into stripperdome seems more like a curious jaunt, and she retains her humanity and humor. Unfortunately, Diablo quickly gets immersed in the stripper culture, and hoping to compete with the beautiful women around her, she loses herself. She gets a job as a sex worker, masturbating for strange men, then returns to stripping reincarnated as a real stripper, not an ironic one, "projecting nothing but the hilarious illusion that [she] was the axis of the sexual universe." But behind her self-deprecating language, there is an element of pride. She didn't go into stripping to be herself; she could have done that anywhere. She went into stripping to prove that she could fit in, that she was as desirable as any of those women. I'm not a prude, and working in the sex industry is a personal choice that I can't say is right or wrong for anyone. All I know is that I found the book so depressing and scary that I had a nightmare that I became a sex worker. I think that's probably because I respect Diablo so much as a writer. Juno was incredible. And if someone that talented can fall into something so shady, what's to become of me? No opinion myself but may have influenced women in original post to, as stripper turned pole dancing instructor said, express their inner minx! If you google "stripper culture" you find more articles, some suggesting it's in decline among civilian women. YEMV. Anyway such behavior prompted one dancer to post this: Advice From A Stripper: Strip Club Etiquette Bubbles Burbujas 1:00PM, 02/17/2010 Comments (71) Stupid mainstreaming of stripper culture. If I have to read another article about recession strippers, pole dancing classes, or strippers-turned-respectable-citizens, I’m going to throw my platforms at the cat. Our audience has changed, and instead of show behavior being learned by a young man on the occasion of his 18th or 21st birthday, it’s imparted from Auto-Tuned vocals and lists on the web. I’ve seen customers like the girl who slapped my ass so hard she bruised me, or the guy who threw quarters wrapped in dollar bills onto the stage. However, I assume ignorance before malice on their part, and, in that spirit, I offer these etiquette tips for customers in the strip club. WOMEN 1. Relax. I’m here for your entertainment. I have exactly zero interest in your date/boyfriend/husband. His wallet interests me, and, to access it, I’ll be interested in keeping you happy and in the club. Don’t look at strippers as adversaries, but rather as fun boner facilitators! If you don’t want to come to the club in the first place, stand up for yourself at home and make it clear to your lesser half that he should come up with a better idea for a wacky date. 2. Stay off the dance floor. At one club I loved, when a female customer stood up to dance at her table, the DJ would remind her over the PA that “dancing at this club is done only by the professionals. If you are not working for this club, please sit down.” At best, it’s goofy and you look silly. At worst, you’re stealing attention and potential tip dollars from the dancers. 3. Tip, please. A couple is two customers, not one, and having a vagina doesn’t exempt you from tipping me. If you’re occupying stage-side seats, observe at least the bare minimum dollar-per-song-per-seat tip rule. If you’re seated away from the stage, but obviously watching the dancer, tip her. 4. Don’t get grabby. The rules are the same for you as they are for male customers. Dancers will let you know if female customers are allowed different touching privileges —in what I think is a generally misguided attempt to get the guys to spend more money. If you want to touch, observe, ask, and follow. If you don’t, ask dancers to back off a bit. It’s all business, and our feelings won’t be hurt. 5. I am not your unicorn. Do you see a shiny white horn sticking out of my head? No. That’s because I’m not going to come home with you to fulfill your bi-curiosity, or let you make good on that promise to your husband that you’d have a threesome with him. If I am and if I will, trust me, you’ll know, because I’m a stripper and therefore not terribly shy. (N.B.: If you are a lesbian, disregard all of the above and follow the dude rules. This is not because I think you’re like a man, but because your primary sexual preference is for women, and therefore we know you’re not a tourist in the land of nude women. You have been to this country and like it. Unless, of course, you’re newly out, and you ask me, like one sweet, still-confused girl did recently, “Do you know your sexual orientation?”) MEN 1. Dress code. For the love of God, don’t wear sweatpants, athletic shorts, or thin pants with an obvious lack of underwear. There’s one of two situations you’re getting into: It’s not that kind of place, and your dancer will stay far away from your sweatpants boner, or it is that kind of place, and the kind of pants you wear don’t matter. 2. Tip like a baller. Remember that, yes, it’s about the money, and tip accordingly. If you aren’t prepared to simultaneously enjoy yourself and pay us—just like a massage therapist, hairdresser, or any other personal service provider—stay home. In all clubs, we pay to work there and anywhere from 15 to 50 percent of the take goes to the club. Covering that cut with generous tips for our private dances, stage shows, or champagne rooms will endear you to us endlessly and guarantee preferential treatment. 3. Ask for permission, not forgiveness. No one is ever so naked or so friendly that her consent doesn’t matter, and this applies in commercial interactions just as much as it does in personal ones. “Family Guy” episodes and Bloodhound Gang songs aside, your stripper is a performer and a human being who’ll tell you yes or no. The bottom line is the bottom line. Customers will often spend more if they can touch, so we’ll make sure you know when, where, and for how much. 4. Don’t ask for sexual acts. I’m not going to lie, in some places there is sex in the champagne room. Not in most strip clubs, but in some, and if it’s available, you’ll know, because it will be offered to you at a high, high price. If it’s not, you might have a pissed-off stripper or bouncer to contend with, especially in areas where vice stings are known to happen. And I’m not going to give any advice on how to do illegal things, but think with the big head. Don’t get yourself ripped off or rolled because you’re drunk and horny and believe anything. 5. Observe club norms. If everyone is setting tips down on the edge of the stage, don’t try to stick a dollar bill in the dancer’s thong. If they’re sliding bills into garters, you may not want to “make it rain.” I hate it when guys ball up bills and toss them at the stage, but, in some locales, due to minimum distance rules, it’s the normal way to tip dancers on stage. There are club rule variations from state to state, city to city, and club to club. Watch a little before participating. Don’t be afraid to ask us anything. That’s what we’re here for! And, I really would love to go out with you, it’s just that I am so busy with nursing and real estate school right now, and also my 3-year-old, and rehab, and the trailer remodel, and my boyfriend’s almost out on parole
• DandyDan

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  13 years ago

  With one exception, I don't know that I've ever gone to a club where a female customer stripped down to her panties. I've seen dancers strip the ladies all the way naked, but I've never seen a female customer strip off her own clothes, other than the one club that's an exception. The one club which is the exception, Shotgun Geniez in Hamburg, Iowa, used to have a rule where if the a girl in the crowd was dancing, they'd either kick them out or else they would have to dance onstage all the way naked. Some of the girls would actually dance to stay in the club. Usually, these girls were local girls drunk off their ass just having a good time. One time, I even took one of these girls to the private dance area and she was very handsy, shall we say. I don't know if they have that rule anymore, because they got busted by the law, nearly screwing over all the nude Iowa theaters in the process, and since then, I don't recall seeing true nude amateurs there.
• rickdugan

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  13 years ago

  WTF - I'll never understand why guys would take their wives or GFs to a strip club.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  rick: With mine, it's because she occasionally wants to go. I have this thing about indulging her sometimes. :)
• rickdugan

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  13 years ago

  gmd, you are in a truly unique situation in many ways, so perhaps you I can understand. But in most cases it never goes well.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  I don't think I'm unique, rick. Rare, perhaps, but by no means unique. I also suspect I might not be all that rare, either. After, a woman who puts up with my type of shit may be perfectly happy, but still not be willing to cop to it to her friends. Hell, *my* wife isn't willing to out me as a lech, or herself as someone who allows it; I can't imagine many others are.
• sharkhunter

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  13 years ago

  I once saw a female customer get on stage and go topless and get chased around the whole club with a bunch of bouncers trying to catch up. I thought it looked funny. She had not stripped down to her panties so I missed that. Now I have on a few occasions had female customers leave whoever they were sitting with and approach me asking me a question or commenting on something else. If she was sitting with a guy, I always wonder if this is going to cause trouble. So far I've lucked out. One time a female customer got so close behind me when tipping a girl on stage, the dancer thought she was my girlfriend. I guess motioning me over to her table and laughing and telling me that someone thought me and her were having some kind of sex away from the club made me wonder what was going on. One female customer talked me into getting a dance from a dancer. Fortunately most of these females were not drunk. I do remember one drunk female starting grinding on me because I happened to be sitting nearby her. That got me a bit nervous because I didn't know if the guy she was sitting next to was her boyfriend. I was a good 12 feet away. He was probably embarrassed.
• lopaw

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  13 years ago

  lol I loved the "Advice From a Stripper:Strip Club Etiquette" piece, esp. the N.B. line about us lesbians. It was spot on! Thx for sharing it joker44
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  This one was pretty much in keeping with my experience as well: "1. Dress code. For the love of God, don’t wear sweatpants, athletic shorts, or thin pants with an obvious lack of underwear. There’s one of two situations you’re getting into: It’s not that kind of place, and your dancer will stay far away from your sweatpants boner, or it is that kind of place, and the kind of pants you wear don’t matter."