The sight of a nude women does not excite me.
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
Maybe I have been at this shit too long. I cannot just go into a strip club and watch nude dancers on stage. I find it boring. I will go up and tip them just to let them know that I am interested in more but that is it. If I cannot grope them, then I consider the visit a bust. To make my favorites list, the bare ass minimus are her hand up my shorts and my hand down her thong. The good thing for me is that I have been at this so long, that I have a growing list of favorites in several clubs.
Fuck Cincy and Orlando!
Fuck Cincy and Orlando!
33 comments
Shadow, I think it might be time for you to stop going to clubs for awhile. Try shacking up with Gridget for a year or two. Failing that, pull a Charlie Sheen and pay a couple of Goddesses to be aroung 24/7.
If we're talking someplace like DC, where it's strictly look but don't touch, I agree. I would prefer a pasties club over that if it offers a chance for some decent groping.
In the Combat Zone, Boston, MA in the 80s a lot of strippers really stripped and put on a good show, like Princess Cheyenne at the Naked I.
Today the women go on stage in the bare minimun and just wiggle and miss the art of stripping.
I think some of the factors that play into this are, in no particular order: how accurate my eyeglasses prescription happens to be at the time; how much of an addiction to tobacco smoking I happened to have bee suffering under at the time; how much access I had to ready-pop escorts or hookers or prostitutes, either in the club, or elsewhere in my city, at the time; how depressed or happy I was about the rest of my life, and therefore how much I was going to get involved in solo drinking of the "got to drink until the rest of my life disappears" variety; etc..
For me, the visual stimulus is an INDICATOR. It isn't, exactly, that I like to look at a hot woman, though I do. But they're all over the 'net, these hot women. I dislike "having" to look at them in "real life" (see other threads, about how I feel insecure when I see hotness, because it reminds me of my failures as a man to capture hotness and make it mine) and sometimes when I see a super-perfect girl (not the California-porn-bimbo type; but the "perfect" one FOR ME, the type I would want as a girlfriend) even INSIDE a club, I get depressed about my failures. So, generally, visual stimulus isn't an end in itself.
Rather, visual stimulus tells me how the girl moves, whether she appeals to me as someone who is athletic, confident in her sexuality, and self-respectful in the fact that she keeps herself fit and trim and clean and taken-care-of. It also informs me of subtle social-class indicators -- is she humorous when she does a silly thighs-wide spread shot, or does she think of it as pure sexiness? Does she have a huge ghetto-hairdo and long ghetto-fingernails, or is she mainstream middle-class American? All these visual cues are HINTS, though, of course, the cover of the book is not always a proof of the book's contents.
I very much like seeing how a girl dances on stage. The ones who don't "get the concept" are generally turn-offs for me, and I have found in some experimentation, that if they don't get the concept on-stage, they often don't get the concept off-stage. They can be clumsy, or bored, or really uninspired on-stage and yet that's fine with me, for I know they might give excellent private dances. But if they're non-sexual on-stage, then they're likely to be non-sexual in the private dances.
I've found two or three fairly reliable indicators of lack of sexual performance. First, there's a type of cut-and-dried, absent-minded, overly machinistic performance that I look for on stage. If I see a girl involved in it, then I'm absolutely not going to take her up on an offer for a private dance.
Second, another generally non-sexual turn-off is the good dancer. There's a super-choreographed performance, something that basically mimics a Broadway show. Although I enjoy this performance in terms of its BROADWAY style of showmanship, it usually indicates to me a lack of capacity for sexual connection with me. That's a pity, because often these Broadway-type performers are also experienced dancers with good physical skills and also excellent bodies. They show up as performers in "special" and "headliner" events a lot more than the other detrimental performers. Basically, they're good dancers who have found one way to make money, and that's through strip-club-based dancing. Unfortunately, they aren't necessarily giving me the sexual thrill I'm seeking.
Third, another generally non-sexual turn-off is the embarrassed girl. She giggles, or can't help making faces or mouthing the words of the song. I find that often, girls who SING ALONG and MOVE ALONG are just not figuring out what men want. For example, if a song has a few major crash-points in noise, she'll organize a way to slam her heels onto the floor in time with the crash-points, and this is a big deal to her, hitting it exactly right, doing it to the left the first time, then the right, etc.. These girls are all (in my general assessment) looking for a way to distract themselves, and perhaps their audience, from the sexuality. They're focusing on everything BUT the guy's horniness.
There is, to the contrary, a type of stage dancing that tells me that the girl "has it." I can't exactly describe it, but it comes down to something like, first, "lost in herself," and second, "slinkiness." If she is willing and able to be absent-minded in her facial and physical outlook, such that she is NOT performing overtly, but rather, she is simply being "in the song" as it plays (regardless of what the frickin' song is; we all know that it's hit-or-miss whether the DJ picks the right one!), then she can probably also be slinky. So, the first criterion is, that she's not concerned with making a show of it. The second criterion is, that her body becomes an expression of her horniness. She knows how to slink. Some girls slink with power and precision; others slink with langourous slow movements; others just twiddle their clits. In any case, the right self-abandon plus the right slinkiness tells me, the girl is a turn-on to look at, and probably a good bet for the lap-dance room.
I think a good professional dancer (see "Broadway," above) could probably fake the slinkiness and the lostness. But if she CAN fake it, and not instead try to do one of the wrong performances of the three I've listed, then she can probably ALSO fake a good lap dance. Which is all I'm after. :)
This was an interesting analysis ... wonder what got me started ... :P
It's Slinky, it's Slinky. For fun it's a wonderful toy.
It's Slinky, it's Slinky. It's fun for a girl or a boy.
I've not once gotten hard from a stage show.. it just doesn't do it for me. i need some actual contact
It's funny you mentioned that coz my SC visit today to my local SR had me shaking my head at all of the guys sitting at the bar with their backs to the stage (not ever looking at all at the stage, much less tipping!). I think there were maybe 3 or 4 of us PL's actually FACING the stage, while a good 7 or 8 guys were at the bar. I couldn't help but wonder why they bothered coming in to watch b-ball & completely ignoring the dancers, when they could have been sitting in a much cheaper neighborhood divey regular bar? Why pay $8 for a beer at an overpriced tittybar and not even acknowledge the girls? What am I missing here?
Lap dances are the same way. Few and far between are the babes who can do that magic thing that lights my fire. I'm to the point of being so (non-verbally)critical of most girls technique, that I don't even enjoy trying out a new girl...there aren't many of them now days either. Today, it's all about mutual touching for me.
For me, it all depends on the dancer.
Then there's Milwaukee... the situation you relayed - about most of the guys at the bar and ignoring the stage - in Milwaukee those gals wouldn't have cared ... they would've walked over after their set and asked for $1 from each guy after their set.
All things considered, I'd still rather grope a hottie.
I did try clubs with better stage dancers, just to enjoy the show, and then I attempted to get extras from dancers who don't, just for the challenge. All in all, I think your "solution" works better. A stable of favorites and a "sure thing" usually beats blind luck.
On thing I've noticed about the "bored with just nude" attitude is that some dancers notice and "try harder" to get my attention. I think that many dancers, usually willing to go the extra mile - only if necessary - are challenged by a customer's lack of interest and will go further. Perhaps "bored" will work for you.
Found another one at Stir Sunday, "M", AND she speaks perfect English. I wish I could have stayed a bit, but I had just stopped to see if "G" was working because I knew "C" wasn't.
Alphabet soup!
I could use some help, at times. But now I find your spanish is lacking!
I bet you do. :) Today at Stir, none of the letters were there. :(