Maybe I have been at this shit too long. I cannot just go into a strip club and watch nude dancers on stage. I find it boring. I will go up and tip them just to let them know that I am interested in more but that is it. If I cannot grope them, then I consider the visit a bust. To make my favorites list, the bare ass minimus are her hand up my shorts and my hand down her thong. The good thing for me is that I have been at this so long, that I have a growing list of favorites in several clubs.
Being a Houstonian, I take it as a given that a SC visit is to be a hands on experience. A couple of times in the past couple of years, I've had dancers try that air dance thing with me. It pisses me off to no end.
Shadow, I think it might be time for you to stop going to clubs for awhile. Try shacking up with Gridget for a year or two. Failing that, pull a Charlie Sheen and pay a couple of Goddesses to be aroung 24/7.
Yes, sc, our expectations do go up over time. (If not our hard ons, lol). In my juvenille years, I'd get a rock hard boner within a nanosecond of opening a nudie mag at the newstand. Now, I glance over several offerings with nary a rise. Likewise, if you were to reglarly drive a Corvette ZR1 (638 hp), your Mustang would seem boring. Then again, taking a break from clubbing for a while may be a remedy. Some of my "better" visits have occured after a "dry spell". It often IS all in your head.
"I cannot just go into a strip club and watch nude dancers on stage."
If we're talking someplace like DC, where it's strictly look but don't touch, I agree. I would prefer a pasties club over that if it offers a chance for some decent groping.
I like the slow way a woman slowing removes her outfit and gets naked, like the old time strippers like Blaze Starr, who I saw in 1975 while serving at Fort Lewis, Washington. She was at the end of her career and a few of us went to Seattle to see her. Even into her 50s was quite a sight and seeing her slowly remove her gloves, stockings, gown and g-string was quite a show. I guess that event spoiled me.
In the Combat Zone, Boston, MA in the 80s a lot of strippers really stripped and put on a good show, like Princess Cheyenne at the Naked I.
Today the women go on stage in the bare minimun and just wiggle and miss the art of stripping.
My expectations change over the years as well. I went through periods in which the only thing I wanted was as-soon-as-possible pop no matter how it arrived. I went through periods when I sought out a particular visual type. I went through periods in which I was desperate for boyfriends-girlfriends acts and sought the dancers who knew how to supply that fantasy. I went through periods in which visual stimulus was important to me but only of a certain kind. I went through other periods in which I was almost entirely disinterested in the visual stimulus as long as the girl was witty and smart when she sat on my lap.
I think some of the factors that play into this are, in no particular order: how accurate my eyeglasses prescription happens to be at the time; how much of an addiction to tobacco smoking I happened to have bee suffering under at the time; how much access I had to ready-pop escorts or hookers or prostitutes, either in the club, or elsewhere in my city, at the time; how depressed or happy I was about the rest of my life, and therefore how much I was going to get involved in solo drinking of the "got to drink until the rest of my life disappears" variety; etc..
For me, the visual stimulus is an INDICATOR. It isn't, exactly, that I like to look at a hot woman, though I do. But they're all over the 'net, these hot women. I dislike "having" to look at them in "real life" (see other threads, about how I feel insecure when I see hotness, because it reminds me of my failures as a man to capture hotness and make it mine) and sometimes when I see a super-perfect girl (not the California-porn-bimbo type; but the "perfect" one FOR ME, the type I would want as a girlfriend) even INSIDE a club, I get depressed about my failures. So, generally, visual stimulus isn't an end in itself.
Rather, visual stimulus tells me how the girl moves, whether she appeals to me as someone who is athletic, confident in her sexuality, and self-respectful in the fact that she keeps herself fit and trim and clean and taken-care-of. It also informs me of subtle social-class indicators -- is she humorous when she does a silly thighs-wide spread shot, or does she think of it as pure sexiness? Does she have a huge ghetto-hairdo and long ghetto-fingernails, or is she mainstream middle-class American? All these visual cues are HINTS, though, of course, the cover of the book is not always a proof of the book's contents.
I very much like seeing how a girl dances on stage. The ones who don't "get the concept" are generally turn-offs for me, and I have found in some experimentation, that if they don't get the concept on-stage, they often don't get the concept off-stage. They can be clumsy, or bored, or really uninspired on-stage and yet that's fine with me, for I know they might give excellent private dances. But if they're non-sexual on-stage, then they're likely to be non-sexual in the private dances.
I've found two or three fairly reliable indicators of lack of sexual performance. First, there's a type of cut-and-dried, absent-minded, overly machinistic performance that I look for on stage. If I see a girl involved in it, then I'm absolutely not going to take her up on an offer for a private dance.
Second, another generally non-sexual turn-off is the good dancer. There's a super-choreographed performance, something that basically mimics a Broadway show. Although I enjoy this performance in terms of its BROADWAY style of showmanship, it usually indicates to me a lack of capacity for sexual connection with me. That's a pity, because often these Broadway-type performers are also experienced dancers with good physical skills and also excellent bodies. They show up as performers in "special" and "headliner" events a lot more than the other detrimental performers. Basically, they're good dancers who have found one way to make money, and that's through strip-club-based dancing. Unfortunately, they aren't necessarily giving me the sexual thrill I'm seeking.
Third, another generally non-sexual turn-off is the embarrassed girl. She giggles, or can't help making faces or mouthing the words of the song. I find that often, girls who SING ALONG and MOVE ALONG are just not figuring out what men want. For example, if a song has a few major crash-points in noise, she'll organize a way to slam her heels onto the floor in time with the crash-points, and this is a big deal to her, hitting it exactly right, doing it to the left the first time, then the right, etc.. These girls are all (in my general assessment) looking for a way to distract themselves, and perhaps their audience, from the sexuality. They're focusing on everything BUT the guy's horniness.
There is, to the contrary, a type of stage dancing that tells me that the girl "has it." I can't exactly describe it, but it comes down to something like, first, "lost in herself," and second, "slinkiness." If she is willing and able to be absent-minded in her facial and physical outlook, such that she is NOT performing overtly, but rather, she is simply being "in the song" as it plays (regardless of what the frickin' song is; we all know that it's hit-or-miss whether the DJ picks the right one!), then she can probably also be slinky. So, the first criterion is, that she's not concerned with making a show of it. The second criterion is, that her body becomes an expression of her horniness. She knows how to slink. Some girls slink with power and precision; others slink with langourous slow movements; others just twiddle their clits. In any case, the right self-abandon plus the right slinkiness tells me, the girl is a turn-on to look at, and probably a good bet for the lap-dance room.
I think a good professional dancer (see "Broadway," above) could probably fake the slinkiness and the lostness. But if she CAN fake it, and not instead try to do one of the wrong performances of the three I've listed, then she can probably ALSO fake a good lap dance. Which is all I'm after. :)
This was an interesting analysis ... wonder what got me started ... :P
I can understand how you got to this point, shadowcat. I have doing this for a very short time and I can see myself arriving at the same place. it is probably good that I am going back into business.
I saw plenty of groping and two way contact going on with the stage tipping at Henry the VIII South. However, when I went up to stage tip I did not even get a stevie. Must be a regular's benefit of going there.
I find that if I'm there to get dances I can get bored with just watching them on stage. But sometimes it is fun to just go and watch, especially if I am eating there.
Shadowcat, maybe what you need is a blood transfusion. No shit. No disrepect intended. There are plenty of dancers I get hard just watching them on stage. I'm getting up in age also, but the thrill is still there seeing a new, hot and gorgeous dancer performing.
Hey at The Columbia Platinum Plus my attention gravitated to the football game on the big screen despite the naked girls on the stage to the left and the extra play going on in the couch area to the right. I didn't have a complaint.
Agreed, now touching that nude women is a whole 'nother ball game..
I've not once gotten hard from a stage show.. it just doesn't do it for me. i need some actual contact
It's funny you mentioned that coz my SC visit today to my local SR had me shaking my head at all of the guys sitting at the bar with their backs to the stage (not ever looking at all at the stage, much less tipping!). I think there were maybe 3 or 4 of us PL's actually FACING the stage, while a good 7 or 8 guys were at the bar. I couldn't help but wonder why they bothered coming in to watch b-ball & completely ignoring the dancers, when they could have been sitting in a much cheaper neighborhood divey regular bar? Why pay $8 for a beer at an overpriced tittybar and not even acknowledge the girls? What am I missing here?
I have to agree with Shadow on this. I'm still a very visual person, BUT physical intimacy is what stimulates me. I think as I've aged my senses have shifted. Yes I remember almost 35 years ago the sight of a hot naked girl could just about (and maybe even did) make me pop. Who am I kidding. I used to get a hard on in church just staring at my hot little GF in a dress LOL! Now if there's an average looking girl on stage - I'm watching the game on the big screen till something better comes on stage. Get a hot half naked girl on my lap kissing my neck - it's standing room only in my pants!
I enjoy being around attractive naked women. Of course, that's becoming more difficult to do with all of the new laws designed to suppress the middle and lower classes. Oh, sorry...I am easily annoyed by dancers who don't dance on stage "quite right": move too fast, keep too much clothes on too long...you know what I mean. These days I seldom don't sit at the stage and just watch, unless I'm trying to get her attention. I long for the days when erect nipples under a wet t-shirt caused a stirring in my loins.
Lap dances are the same way. Few and far between are the babes who can do that magic thing that lights my fire. I'm to the point of being so (non-verbally)critical of most girls technique, that I don't even enjoy trying out a new girl...there aren't many of them now days either. Today, it's all about mutual touching for me.
Lopaw, I'm sure you know many clubs oufit themselves as man caves. Some are conducive to hanging out at (Platinum Plus was a $1.75 for a bottled beer and a $3 cover = I came into the club to check it out because of it's lofty status but found opening weekend of college football to be of the most interest.) BUT that visit the football saved me, as I had a few gals come by who, not having seen me before, rightfully identified me as an out-of-towner. They then kept stopping by to offer a private dance for $40 per. Considering previous reviewers had stated 2-for-$30 was quite common, I wasn't biting yet found an alternative (football) I was happy to engage my attention to. But if that brunette heavily engaged in the extra biz had come available... On the other hand, I have tried to hang out at some of the Detroit clubs (where I got hit up for $9 for a bottled water last time) and found the club's staff (bartender(s), waitresses, etc.) to be the barriers to doing so (surprisingly NOT the dancers!) There is a regular bar in Detroit I have taken to, it's VERY cheap cost-wise, and they've never tried to shake me down the way the Detroit strip clubs have.
Then there's Milwaukee... the situation you relayed - about most of the guys at the bar and ignoring the stage - in Milwaukee those gals wouldn't have cared ... they would've walked over after their set and asked for $1 from each guy after their set.
I go to certain clubs for different reasons. Sometimes it's fun to visit a high end place and ogle stunning women. Easing a good meal at Penthouse club while watching 10s dance is pleasurable.
All things considered, I'd still rather grope a hottie.
I find the stage shows unremarkable to stupid here in southern CA. But I love being around beautiful, naked or almost naked women, and interacting with them. And in a SC I can grab and feel some of that flesh.
@bumrubber, I have to agree... stage shows mostly seem like an afterthought because of the lack of skill...Once in a blue moon will a girl know how to work the stage and poll, Most of the "good" stage dancing i have seen out here has been by traveling dancers and not ones that currently work here in So-Cal. Plus side is most dancers will let you touch them when on stage, nothing like having her come by and grabbing a piece of that.. ;)
Shadowcat, I've been there and I know I'll be there again. You have about 10 years on me so I'm guessing your more "mature" wood attitude is a factor as well as your "higher" expectations. I have tried laying off the clubs, but that is too extreme for me.
I did try clubs with better stage dancers, just to enjoy the show, and then I attempted to get extras from dancers who don't, just for the challenge. All in all, I think your "solution" works better. A stable of favorites and a "sure thing" usually beats blind luck.
On thing I've noticed about the "bored with just nude" attitude is that some dancers notice and "try harder" to get my attention. I think that many dancers, usually willing to go the extra mile - only if necessary - are challenged by a customer's lack of interest and will go further. Perhaps "bored" will work for you.
Found another one at Stir Sunday, "M", AND she speaks perfect English. I wish I could have stayed a bit, but I had just stopped to see if "G" was working because I knew "C" wasn't.
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Shadow, I think it might be time for you to stop going to clubs for awhile. Try shacking up with Gridget for a year or two. Failing that, pull a Charlie Sheen and pay a couple of Goddesses to be aroung 24/7.
If we're talking someplace like DC, where it's strictly look but don't touch, I agree. I would prefer a pasties club over that if it offers a chance for some decent groping.
In the Combat Zone, Boston, MA in the 80s a lot of strippers really stripped and put on a good show, like Princess Cheyenne at the Naked I.
Today the women go on stage in the bare minimun and just wiggle and miss the art of stripping.
I think some of the factors that play into this are, in no particular order: how accurate my eyeglasses prescription happens to be at the time; how much of an addiction to tobacco smoking I happened to have bee suffering under at the time; how much access I had to ready-pop escorts or hookers or prostitutes, either in the club, or elsewhere in my city, at the time; how depressed or happy I was about the rest of my life, and therefore how much I was going to get involved in solo drinking of the "got to drink until the rest of my life disappears" variety; etc..
For me, the visual stimulus is an INDICATOR. It isn't, exactly, that I like to look at a hot woman, though I do. But they're all over the 'net, these hot women. I dislike "having" to look at them in "real life" (see other threads, about how I feel insecure when I see hotness, because it reminds me of my failures as a man to capture hotness and make it mine) and sometimes when I see a super-perfect girl (not the California-porn-bimbo type; but the "perfect" one FOR ME, the type I would want as a girlfriend) even INSIDE a club, I get depressed about my failures. So, generally, visual stimulus isn't an end in itself.
Rather, visual stimulus tells me how the girl moves, whether she appeals to me as someone who is athletic, confident in her sexuality, and self-respectful in the fact that she keeps herself fit and trim and clean and taken-care-of. It also informs me of subtle social-class indicators -- is she humorous when she does a silly thighs-wide spread shot, or does she think of it as pure sexiness? Does she have a huge ghetto-hairdo and long ghetto-fingernails, or is she mainstream middle-class American? All these visual cues are HINTS, though, of course, the cover of the book is not always a proof of the book's contents.
I very much like seeing how a girl dances on stage. The ones who don't "get the concept" are generally turn-offs for me, and I have found in some experimentation, that if they don't get the concept on-stage, they often don't get the concept off-stage. They can be clumsy, or bored, or really uninspired on-stage and yet that's fine with me, for I know they might give excellent private dances. But if they're non-sexual on-stage, then they're likely to be non-sexual in the private dances.
I've found two or three fairly reliable indicators of lack of sexual performance. First, there's a type of cut-and-dried, absent-minded, overly machinistic performance that I look for on stage. If I see a girl involved in it, then I'm absolutely not going to take her up on an offer for a private dance.
Second, another generally non-sexual turn-off is the good dancer. There's a super-choreographed performance, something that basically mimics a Broadway show. Although I enjoy this performance in terms of its BROADWAY style of showmanship, it usually indicates to me a lack of capacity for sexual connection with me. That's a pity, because often these Broadway-type performers are also experienced dancers with good physical skills and also excellent bodies. They show up as performers in "special" and "headliner" events a lot more than the other detrimental performers. Basically, they're good dancers who have found one way to make money, and that's through strip-club-based dancing. Unfortunately, they aren't necessarily giving me the sexual thrill I'm seeking.
Third, another generally non-sexual turn-off is the embarrassed girl. She giggles, or can't help making faces or mouthing the words of the song. I find that often, girls who SING ALONG and MOVE ALONG are just not figuring out what men want. For example, if a song has a few major crash-points in noise, she'll organize a way to slam her heels onto the floor in time with the crash-points, and this is a big deal to her, hitting it exactly right, doing it to the left the first time, then the right, etc.. These girls are all (in my general assessment) looking for a way to distract themselves, and perhaps their audience, from the sexuality. They're focusing on everything BUT the guy's horniness.
There is, to the contrary, a type of stage dancing that tells me that the girl "has it." I can't exactly describe it, but it comes down to something like, first, "lost in herself," and second, "slinkiness." If she is willing and able to be absent-minded in her facial and physical outlook, such that she is NOT performing overtly, but rather, she is simply being "in the song" as it plays (regardless of what the frickin' song is; we all know that it's hit-or-miss whether the DJ picks the right one!), then she can probably also be slinky. So, the first criterion is, that she's not concerned with making a show of it. The second criterion is, that her body becomes an expression of her horniness. She knows how to slink. Some girls slink with power and precision; others slink with langourous slow movements; others just twiddle their clits. In any case, the right self-abandon plus the right slinkiness tells me, the girl is a turn-on to look at, and probably a good bet for the lap-dance room.
I think a good professional dancer (see "Broadway," above) could probably fake the slinkiness and the lostness. But if she CAN fake it, and not instead try to do one of the wrong performances of the three I've listed, then she can probably ALSO fake a good lap dance. Which is all I'm after. :)
This was an interesting analysis ... wonder what got me started ... :P
It's Slinky, it's Slinky. For fun it's a wonderful toy.
It's Slinky, it's Slinky. It's fun for a girl or a boy.
I've not once gotten hard from a stage show.. it just doesn't do it for me. i need some actual contact
It's funny you mentioned that coz my SC visit today to my local SR had me shaking my head at all of the guys sitting at the bar with their backs to the stage (not ever looking at all at the stage, much less tipping!). I think there were maybe 3 or 4 of us PL's actually FACING the stage, while a good 7 or 8 guys were at the bar. I couldn't help but wonder why they bothered coming in to watch b-ball & completely ignoring the dancers, when they could have been sitting in a much cheaper neighborhood divey regular bar? Why pay $8 for a beer at an overpriced tittybar and not even acknowledge the girls? What am I missing here?
Lap dances are the same way. Few and far between are the babes who can do that magic thing that lights my fire. I'm to the point of being so (non-verbally)critical of most girls technique, that I don't even enjoy trying out a new girl...there aren't many of them now days either. Today, it's all about mutual touching for me.
For me, it all depends on the dancer.
Then there's Milwaukee... the situation you relayed - about most of the guys at the bar and ignoring the stage - in Milwaukee those gals wouldn't have cared ... they would've walked over after their set and asked for $1 from each guy after their set.
All things considered, I'd still rather grope a hottie.
I did try clubs with better stage dancers, just to enjoy the show, and then I attempted to get extras from dancers who don't, just for the challenge. All in all, I think your "solution" works better. A stable of favorites and a "sure thing" usually beats blind luck.
On thing I've noticed about the "bored with just nude" attitude is that some dancers notice and "try harder" to get my attention. I think that many dancers, usually willing to go the extra mile - only if necessary - are challenged by a customer's lack of interest and will go further. Perhaps "bored" will work for you.
Found another one at Stir Sunday, "M", AND she speaks perfect English. I wish I could have stayed a bit, but I had just stopped to see if "G" was working because I knew "C" wasn't.
Alphabet soup!
I could use some help, at times. But now I find your spanish is lacking!
I bet you do. :) Today at Stir, none of the letters were there. :(