OTC Faux Pas?

I think you dropped the ball. What is this "I gotta get home" thing? If you were wanting more you should have allowed more time for it. And then followed through.

There are plenty of PLs who got out with their favorites just for dinner and don't expect sex so OTC does not necessarily equal sex. Not it is just downright weird, in my opinion, that someone would want to meet a stripper OTC for anything besides sex. And if meeting for sex, I would say skip the dinner. I really don't understand the way some guys think around strippers.

You asked if she 'danced' OTC? If she agreed to meet you OTC, she was obviously expecting something other than food. And she was probably expecting more than $20 for it. And since you picked her up and dropped her off at her place, she was expecting you to come in for a 'dance'.

Now she's feeling all rejected. But, at least the $20 more than covers the cost of the condoms she bought ....

More context. It was during a bitch of a snow storm. Her kids were in the house with the babysitter, so I wasn't invited in either before or after. It was certainly a miscommunication of some kind. I guess somebody should have put a finer point on things, probably me. Looking back, I probably should have looked for a way to get "snowed in".

Maybe you dropped the ball, and maybe not. If all you were expecting was dinner, and if that's all you ever asked about, then no, I don't think you did anything wrong. Silly maybe, but not wrong.

Now she may have expected more, and assumed that's what you were really after. Her "surprise" might really have been disappointment, especially if she was counting on a couple of hundred bucks for what she might consider the usual. Your $20 wouldn't really have been worth her time; if she'd known what you intended, she might not have agreed to meet.

If she answers the phone next time you call, you might ask her what her expectations were. You might get lucky and have some stories, besides "dinner was good", to tell next time. :)

Remember, it's all about the Benjamins.

^^^^ Or the "Jackson" in this case, lol.

I believe she was expecting you to make an offer (for sex). If you have her number and would be willing to do her for $X then simply call her and make an offer. Trying to "date" them is a fools errand.

I think most dancers expect that getting together outside of the club will include a couple hundred bucks. Unless you are specific about the fact that you are not planning to spend as much for dinner at the table as you might for dinner at the Y, then you might have a disappointed stripper, or likely she wouldn't agree to get together at all because it's just not worth it to her.

Did the $20 cover the cost of the baby sitter?

for shame sir!

You've got another shot at her. Just bring more money.

Benjamins Jacksons or Grants

Thanks for the perspective everybody. I just tried her number and it has been disconnected. SOL. I just thought that there might be a thin veneer of etiquette there, dancers thinking that they would like to be treated well, so that I needed to be on better behavior unless she gave me some cues. But it seems that your collective experience is like wrestling--you need to take a shot.

Years ago a stripper gave me her number. She had made Girls of the Big XII. At dinner she had mentioned that she had herpes. That brought conversation at surrounding tables to a standstill. lol. Took her back to my place. We talked about her classes, my books, philosophy, etc. She didn't want to mess around, didn't want to stay over, lights stayed on. Had a friendly parting. I doubt she was waiting for me to offer the going rate, but who knows?

I do appreciate your thoughts.

leisure suit larry,

Don't let this experience jade you. I would venture that most of us have had good time as well as bad. For the most part, I've had excellent luck with phones and dancers. Do they call me to get my money at the club, sometimes, but not always. It depends on the relationship you have with each dancer. Same as it is in any other part of your life.

When you ask a girl if she "dances outside he club" it is usually a euphemism for OTC sex. She agreed, then instead of taking her to your hotel room you brought her to a restaurant. I have no doubt that her aloofness at dinner was caused by her uncertainty over what you were doing.

And assuming that you didn't know what you were doing, you very much dropped the ball. Putting aside the sex, use of the term "dance outside" includes an unspoken understanding that she will get paid for her time. Hell, if she had to pay the babysitter then your $20 probably wasn't even enough to cover what it cost her to be out with you, and that doesn't even include her condom costs.

If you want to take a dancer out of a club for anything other than sex, you need to be clear as to your intentions.

I think using the word "dance" (outside the club) was ill-advised, and definitely led to confusion.

That said, totally non-sexual OTC is not unheard of. I've taken 3 different dancers to dinner (at my request) and it was nothing more than a dinner date. I enjoyed her company and she enjoyed mine and a good time was had by all. All three have asked about doing it again, and I've managed it with 2 of them. Sometimes, a woman just wants to be treated like more than a piece of meat (I threw that one in just for Dougster).