Losing a favorite
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Earlier this year, I had two favorite dancers in different clubs (and states). They were both really beautiful women with nice personalities. One was an extras girl, the other not. I had contact information for both.
I won't bore you with the details (unless you want to hear about it), but now I don't have any favorites.
I have since moved out of the area (to one that really doesn't have any clubs) and I do miss these girls. It's not the same as breaking up with a girlfriend, but it is a sad feeling all the same. I spent a lot of money on them, but to be fully honest, the only regret I have is that I didn't see them more often. I am not hurting for money.
What makes me feel sad is that I'm not sure what went wrong. I am not sure what I did or said that made them feel uncomfortable, but neither one returns my phone calls or emails.
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in a few months (dec and jun) there will be a new batch of 18-21 year olds flunking out of college who will be filling the poles ready to be your ATF ot OTC girl
Often women, with years of experience, get so fed up with it, they want to leave it AND EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH IT behind in the past.
Sometimes as they get older and more mature, it isn't rebellious twenty something spirit anymore but undignified, lonely, and living under the burden of other's judgment inside and outside the club.
It is totally FUCKED UP that I met my long past ATF in a strip club. Don't feel alone man, you are not the only one who gets left behind.
Not likely anything went wrong. It's just the way strippers can be. They owed you nothing, and you owed them nothing. If you had owed them something they would take your calls in hopes of collecting.
Make it a happy memory. Largely based on fantasy: it was fun while it lasted. If you continue to pursue strippers, you will eventually have similar gratifying relationships that ultimately fail ....guaranteed.
With the other one though, I know she's still around. I see her mentioned either by name or description often in reviews.
Occasionally I would bump into one or the other in different clubs around our region of Texas. Both of them gave me their phone numbers. Both of them were fantastic dancers. I loved spending time with them.
It happened slowly. They wouldn't show up for work, no one had seen them. I would leave a message, but they wouldn't return my texts. Finally after months of playing phone tag their numbers were no longer in service.
I don't think I was the problem. I think they simply moved on. Girls quit the business all the time. They retire, get burned out, get married, or just go back home, wherever that is. I have never seen them again.
I really miss them both. But life goes on. There will be other girls, and they too will leave the business. And someday we will leave the business also. But that subject is for a different thread.
Cheer up friend. Soon you will find another and better girl(s). I did.
These things have a way of workin out. For the past few weeks I'd been mooning over a fave, "Summer", that had apparantly moved on. Then the other night a new girl caught my eye. I went up to tip her on stage and got a good vibe from her. She asked my name, and when I told her, she said, "Nice to meet you, Steve, I'm Autumn."
(BTW, if you haven't seen the movie "500 Days of Summer" yet, forget you read this).
Yeah, it can be painful, sad, whatever. When my ATF moved away from the local club, we kept in touch and I would visit her new local at times. One stupid evening, I tlod her I didn't like the arrangement and didn't think I could continue the relationship. It was stupid on my part, but the damage was done. I tried to contact her, but she would never answer my calls or return messages. Over time, we met up again as we had mutual friends outside the SC scene. We talked a little and all is fairly good now, although she quit dancing years ago. It was, and still is, a father/daughter type of relationship. Now I have to set up a time to take her riding on my Harley. Will be enjoyable...
Yeah, losing touch with people you like is at least unpleasant sometimes, but it's the price you pay for even a minimal level of affection. Learn to live with it and move on with your life.
My first ATF and I went from ITC sex, to OTC weekends. We had multiple common interests and we were discussing meeting each other's families. One Sunday, cuddling after sex, I said "I think you're really great. I care very much about you." She got up from bed, shot me a look, got dressed, and changed her club, address, and phone number.
In my final few weeks in the area, I had called one girl and said that if she was interested, I'd take her to lunch, then see her at the club later that evening (and it was going to just be lunch.) I could hear in her voice that she was smiling as she said 'Okay!'. I did notice that she sounded a little less sure at the end of the conversation though. We agreed that I would call again later on to settle on an exact day and time.
But when I called back, she didn't answer, I tried a few more times over the next few days and left a message, but nothing -- No answer, no return calls. I know she still works at the same club though.
I have been able to keep in touch with one girl on Facebook. She got married and is doing very well. I'm happy for her but I do miss her. I doubt I'll ever see her again in person, because she's not going to screw up her marriage by getting together with an old strip club friend.
personally, it seems that the ones that i end up really liking are new to dancing and every time i get a favorite that i really like, they disappear or decide dancing isn't for them and quit.
kinda a stripper version of the cleveland sports team curse.
^
(the northeastern ohio guys will know what i meant by that)
Its not you. Favs eventually grduate for whatever reason. Like a football coach who has lost a star player to graduation you just have to move on and hit the recruiting trail.
Why the blaming themselves for strippers being strippers. The reality is strippers can be unpredictable and dont tell you everything.
This is going to sound like a therapy minute but I wouldn't waste a second on why any person who doesn't want to talk on back.