Losing a favorite

sorry to hear and to be harsh but they are strippas and you shoudnt be falling for them. move on to new ones there plenty out there who will provide the same service. more than likely it is not you they probably left the stripping game and left all contacts and issues from the club behind them. no reason to think it is you. in a few months (dec and jun) there will be a new batch of 18-21 year olds flunking out of college who will be filling the poles ready to be your ATF ot OTC girl

They do not return your phone calls or emails because THEY WERE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.

Often women, with years of experience, get so fed up with it, they want to leave it AND EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH IT behind in the past.

Sometimes as they get older and more mature, it isn't rebellious twenty something spirit anymore but undignified, lonely, and living under the burden of other's judgment inside and outside the club.

It is totally FUCKED UP that I met my long past ATF in a strip club. Don't feel alone man, you are not the only one who gets left behind.

"What makes me feel sad is that I'm not sure what went wrong."

Not likely anything went wrong. It's just the way strippers can be. They owed you nothing, and you owed them nothing. If you had owed them something they would take your calls in hopes of collecting.

Make it a happy memory. Largely based on fantasy: it was fun while it lasted. If you continue to pursue strippers, you will eventually have similar gratifying relationships that ultimately fail ....guaranteed.

That's a good point about how sometimes they quit dancing. It does seem that one of the girls quit, or at least quit the club where I met her. The managers said she's gone.

With the other one though, I know she's still around. I see her mentioned either by name or description often in reviews.

I had two favorites. One was Kelly and the other was Monica. I always wanted extras, I came really close but I never had the ultimate pleasure of either one.

Occasionally I would bump into one or the other in different clubs around our region of Texas. Both of them gave me their phone numbers. Both of them were fantastic dancers. I loved spending time with them.

It happened slowly. They wouldn't show up for work, no one had seen them. I would leave a message, but they wouldn't return my texts. Finally after months of playing phone tag their numbers were no longer in service.

I don't think I was the problem. I think they simply moved on. Girls quit the business all the time. They retire, get burned out, get married, or just go back home, wherever that is. I have never seen them again.

I really miss them both. But life goes on. There will be other girls, and they too will leave the business. And someday we will leave the business also. But that subject is for a different thread.

Cheer up friend. Soon you will find another and better girl(s). I did.

Sorry to hear your story, but there are new favorites to be made right now. On the other hand, some do move on to other clubs. My first ATF, I thought she was lost twice, but I found her at a different club than the last one, and this didn't even count her desire to work in Wisconsin on more than just an occasion. It wouldn't be totally shocking if she were there now actually, although she's about 40. For that matter, I had lost my third ATF once, only to discover her again at what is now my favorite club the first time I went there. Of course, she went away again and I then found her in middle-of-nowhere South Dakota, of all places. But as far as I'm concerned, she could stay there and as far as I can tell, she has. However, those are exceptions. I know my last ATF moved to Dallas and I sure as hell ain't looking for her there, and with my health at the moment, I can't. She might be out of the business for all I know.

Digitech, These things have a way of workin out. For the past few weeks I'd been mooning over a fave, "Summer", that had apparantly moved on. Then the other night a new girl caught my eye. I went up to tip her on stage and got a good vibe from her. She asked my name, and when I told her, she said, "Nice to meet you, Steve, I'm Autumn."

(BTW, if you haven't seen the movie "500 Days of Summer" yet, forget you read this).

digi,

Yeah, it can be painful, sad, whatever. When my ATF moved away from the local club, we kept in touch and I would visit her new local at times. One stupid evening, I tlod her I didn't like the arrangement and didn't think I could continue the relationship. It was stupid on my part, but the damage was done. I tried to contact her, but she would never answer my calls or return messages. Over time, we met up again as we had mutual friends outside the SC scene. We talked a little and all is fairly good now, although she quit dancing years ago. It was, and still is, a father/daughter type of relationship. Now I have to set up a time to take her riding on my Harley. Will be enjoyable...

Like the others have said, it almost certainly isn't you. You're no longer in the area, and most of these girls aren't going to waste their time shooting the shit with somebody who isn't in a position to spend money on them. Now, if you were to be visiting that area, and text or call to tell them so, you might get a different reaction, if you were a big enough spender before you left.

Yeah, losing touch with people you like is at least unpleasant sometimes, but it's the price you pay for even a minimal level of affection. Learn to live with it and move on with your life.

I do not care if they don't call me back or return emails because I am not looking for friends I am just looking for good dancers and in Columbus that is rare. I did meet a 10 working at kahoots. She worked on a Wed night and told me she next worked on a Sat night, and I went and saw her again. Then I decided to slow my spending and took a week off from going. Next time I go though on a Wed and then again on a Sat she was not working. Heard from a dancer that she was fired for gross misconduct. I went around to a couple other clubs hoping to find her or ask the dancers about her but no luck...I will be back to my regular spots now..

Gross generalization: For many guys to earn the money to spend on strippers we have to conform our conduct to certain business norms. Showing up at work on time, returning phone calls, answering memos, attending meetings, meeting schedules, displaying loyalty to the employer, developing new clients or customers. Strippers are not in that world. They have men coming in drooling like horny high schoolers, eager to give them money for a song. Why should they even think about the norms of the world many of us live in? And when they want to move on, for whatever reason, they just move on and never look back. We keep trying to keep emotions out of the ATF game, with limited success.

In the late 90's, met this gal from California. On our first meeting, ITC, we had sex. We also had common interests and we made a date to meet that Friday (three days later) for an OTC date. That Friday night, she didn'tshow and I went to her apartment (she had given me her address). When I got there, it looked like she had moved out in a hurry. Just then, a friend of hers walked up (from the club). She told me that Diane's mom had a stroke and she had to run home to California to take care of three younger sisters.

My first ATF and I went from ITC sex, to OTC weekends. We had multiple common interests and we were discussing meeting each other's families. One Sunday, cuddling after sex, I said "I think you're really great. I care very much about you." She got up from bed, shot me a look, got dressed, and changed her club, address, and phone number.

Thanks for the responses and stories. I guess mine isn't too different.

In my final few weeks in the area, I had called one girl and said that if she was interested, I'd take her to lunch, then see her at the club later that evening (and it was going to just be lunch.) I could hear in her voice that she was smiling as she said 'Okay!'. I did notice that she sounded a little less sure at the end of the conversation though. We agreed that I would call again later on to settle on an exact day and time.

But when I called back, she didn't answer, I tried a few more times over the next few days and left a message, but nothing -- No answer, no return calls. I know she still works at the same club though.

Two of my favorite dancers retired in the last year. Both were in their late 30's and I think they realized they would not be able to compete much longer with dancers in their 20's.

I have been able to keep in touch with one girl on Facebook. She got married and is doing very well. I'm happy for her but I do miss her. I doubt I'll ever see her again in person, because she's not going to screw up her marriage by getting together with an old strip club friend.

lots of good advice above.

personally, it seems that the ones that i end up really liking are new to dancing and every time i get a favorite that i really like, they disappear or decide dancing isn't for them and quit.

kinda a stripper version of the cleveland sports team curse. ^ (the northeastern ohio guys will know what i meant by that)

Like Robyn (sister wives tv show), they sometimes marry a guy like Kody.

Its not you. Favs eventually grduate for whatever reason. Like a football coach who has lost a star player to graduation you just have to move on and hit the recruiting trail.

Player11 meant recruiting Tail.

Why the blaming themselves for strippers being strippers. The reality is strippers can be unpredictable and dont tell you everything.

This is going to sound like a therapy minute but I wouldn't waste a second on why any person who doesn't want to talk on back.