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Sunday, August 15, 2010 2:43 PM
Things I've Never Seen at the Titty Bar by Drtydyana August 14, 2010 The following is a story submited to my website by a customer... I was once what you'd call a 'regular'. I would walk in and four or five girls would yell out my name, just like Norm on Cheers. Pretty pathetic, I know, but I was going through a terrible time in my life and the bar time really helped me cope. One of the side effects of all this exposure, however, was that after a year or two, I became bored with the normal action and wanted something more entertaining. I started offering girls twenty bucks to do crazy things; I called this game "Things I've never seen at a titty bar." The girls loved the game, and several would sit with me at once and we would send one out on a 'mission' while the rest of us watched and laughed. One night a girl put a cue ball in her G-string, she had a cover-up that hid her bulge. For twenty bucks she did a table dance for an older guy and when the song hit its peak, she threw open the cover and shook her 'junk' right in his face. He looked like he might have a heart attack. His look of digust was priceless, and also the way he squirmed back against the mirrors, recoiling in horror. Once she took out the cue ball, he thought it was funny as hell too, and he gave her double for the dance. That was pretty good, but the best was later that night. The girl had to sit with down with a guy she had arranged to do a table dance for. She excused herself and went to the bathroom. When she came back, she had a 6 inch piece of toilet paper dangling from her G-string. The deal was that no matter how much he tried to tell her about it, she had to pretend she didn't hear him, and dance with her ass in his face the majority of the time. Now that was fuckin hysterical.

7 comments

  • georgmicrodong
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    14 years ago
    LMAO!
  • troop
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    14 years ago
    just glad i wasn't the victum of those jokes.. lol
  • sharkhunter
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    14 years ago
    That might have been funny to watch but I do not believe it was fair to the guy to have him pay for the dance. The guy arranging the unusual toilet paper dance should have paid for it since it was his entertainment. I would not be amused if I got that dance. Actually it doesn't even seem that amusing to me from the start.
  • sharkhunter
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    14 years ago
    If someone is not amused, they may never return to that club so these practical jokes may be bad for business. I guess a lot of club managers don't notice or don't care though.
  • MisterGuy
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    14 years ago
    The thing is....in a small strip club where everyone knows everyone else...these kind of gags make things more interesting for everyone, including some of the regular customers. I'll admit that those two examples from above were kind of "extreme", but the first one was damn funny...lol...
  • Notsosly
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    14 years ago
    Funny stuff! Reminds me of a game that me and my buddies played in bars back in my early 20s. Very similar jokes, and we'd send one guy out on a "mission" and he had to do whatever the group came up with... usually involved saying something really dumb or doing something really embarassing in front of some random girl at the bar. If mission was accomplished, the guy got to come back (if he wanted to) and pick the next person to go out. We called it the pussy game. Mostly because if a guy started to balk at completing the mission, or tried to negotiate it down to a more tame version of the original mission, we'd call him a pussy until he did it. I was always astonished at how often crazy jokes/icebreaker shit like that would actually work on the girl(s), and how often that led to phone numbers or them coming home with us.
  • arbeeguy
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    14 years ago
    Regarding the toilet paper joke. Some people can take a joke, some can't. We really don't know what the guy's reaction was. I agree that the guy that was subjected to the joke should not have had to pay for the dance. And perhaps he didn't. Perhaps at the end of the dance the dancer schmoozed him, told him it was a joke, that she really cared about him, and that "I want to give you another dance, now, a really good one, at no charge."
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