Do you think SCs give you unrealistic expectations?
potheadpl
Florida
I've been on a SC bender since mid August. I've had a lot of fun, hooked up OTC with a couple of dancers---without paying. Most of the dancers I've met have been interesting, funny, very attractive women in their early to late 20s. But it's getting expensive so I'm on a break.
My SC running buddy wanted to go to a regular bar/club Friday night. I went to play wingman. He brought another buddy who bragged he would fuck anything with a pulse.
Running buddy hooked up almost immediately with some sloppy drunken chick. I bailed around midnight because there was nobody in the club I found attractive. Rough crowd. Like Chernobyl. Turns out they went to another bar and running buddy's buddy hooked up with some nasty skank.
I can't do that. I'm aware of the "any port in a storm" philosophy, but I'm not fucking some ugly beast of a woman just so I can stick my dick in somebody. I can, and regularly do, get with women much hotter than that. Buddy x 2 didn't understand that. Sucks to have standards. LOL
My SC running buddy wanted to go to a regular bar/club Friday night. I went to play wingman. He brought another buddy who bragged he would fuck anything with a pulse.
Running buddy hooked up almost immediately with some sloppy drunken chick. I bailed around midnight because there was nobody in the club I found attractive. Rough crowd. Like Chernobyl. Turns out they went to another bar and running buddy's buddy hooked up with some nasty skank.
I can't do that. I'm aware of the "any port in a storm" philosophy, but I'm not fucking some ugly beast of a woman just so I can stick my dick in somebody. I can, and regularly do, get with women much hotter than that. Buddy x 2 didn't understand that. Sucks to have standards. LOL
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32 comments
To answer the question, realism isn't what strip clubs are all about. However, the expectation that they tease you with is the fantasy that they're really into you. You may hook up once in a while, but as a regular thing, yeah, it gets expensive.
that's pretty funny, I've seen some very large women out there, I dont think strip clubs affect what I wont go after.
"Two tits, a hole, and an optional heartbeat."
Ouch...no thanx on that one...
Every guy in here got a friend that's addicted to strip clubs.
Addicted like heroin, OK? Addicted.
You know those guys that cannot function
in a normal club.
You take 'em to a normal club,
they ask one girl to dance -
"Would you like to dance?"
"Maybe later."
"Yo, man, let's go to the titty bar.
"Man, these bitches is stuck up, man.
"I gave this bitch a dollar,
she didn't do nothing."
No. We all got those friends
that's addicted to strip clubs.
You know those guys
that go to the strip club in the daytime?
If you at a strip club and the sun is out,
you got some problems.
You know those guys that eat at the strip club?
Eat at the buffet.
How the fuck could you eat
at a nasty-ass strip club?
(Quote copied and pasted from Chris Rock comedy)
One thing I get, is the natural tendency to touch females and even to drape my arm around their waists. Or reach for an ass. I have to watch myself, around the workplace.
Another thing I get, is the mental sense that I'll be free to assess whether or not I want to date a girl, on the basis partly of whether her bush is shaved, or whether her tits sag the right amount and perk the rightt amount, or even, more generally, what the fuck she looks like naked in the first place. From this experience I am firmly convinced that humans biologically assess one another on the basis of naked appearance, and that clothed appearance is just an impossible barrier to cross for pair-bonding.
Another thing I get, is the need to have "touching" sessions with people that I meet. I want to drape and smooth over skin, I want to touch cheeks and "hold dear" a face in my hand.
Another thing I get is an ability to feel sexually "satisfied" from a bout of interaction that does not include coitus to orgasm. I'm used to going home without wetting the willie and yet feeling all ground into submission.
Another thing I get is a quick judgment of people. It really doesn't take very long before a super-dumb stripper just utterly turns me off, no matter how hot she is physically, and I find that this judgment skill transfers to non-stripper life, too. Idiot bimbos are a dime a dozen, and I'm not your typical desperate North American male who will slather and drool all over her just because she happens to have giant fake tits, and then let her have my wallet and my car and my credit card just because you're "supposed to," like many guys. Thank you strip clubs!
Another thing I get is the sense that the girls I meet in "real life" don't know how to please a man. They don't initiate conversations, or grind with the proper amount of pressure and tension and teasing, or have very much blowjob or handjob skill (teeth! nails!). They're really pretty fucking lame, in fact, but I still feel desperate for the approval that I get from "dating for real."
And another thing, to wrap up this list (in no particular orde) is the general sense that there's no advantage to trying to hook up with a girl at a bar. I just can't get lucky, no matter how much or how little I try. There's something WAY fucked up about North American bitches, I don't want to get started. In strip clubs, all that crap is stripped away. Even if you're NOT in a money-for-time interaction (plentty of times, I'm not getting a dance) the girls are straightforward, decent, almost honest or ... umm ... rational, in a manner that reminds me of Europeans, of some of the more homely female classmates of mine who have figured out that acting frivolous-princessy-girly-girl is just not an act that works for anyone. Strippers are real humans, civilians are faakers. Or at least, that's another thing I get, from going to strip clubs.
I suppose the most appealing about SC to me is that rejection is taken off the table. I won't walk across a bar to talk to some civilian girl, but I'll approach the hottest dancer in a club, no problem. Funny story, actually. Last time I was in my favorite club, I noticed a really attracive woman sitting alone at a table. 5'11", brunette, tiny dress, sexy heels---so I thought she was a new dancer. I approached her and gave her my usual SC rap, "You are the best looking woman here. My friend and I are sitting over here. You're welcome to join us, if you like.". She did, and it turned out she wasn't a dancer! No, she was there with her girlfriend who was a dancer. If I'd known she wasn't a dancer, I never would have approached her. Weird, eh?
Hooking up with a girl at a bar? Not likely for me, either. Bars don't play to my strengths. I'm a good conversationalist. I'm really funny. A loud bar/nightclub removes that from my aresenal. Hate bars.
I think some dancers are put at ease for the same reason we are---there's no pressure. Other than money, that is. And a pretty girl with a good, genuinely good, personality will do fine.
Can't say as I have.
Most of the time in a regular bar though, you're just sitting around with no one bothering you and start thinking, this is really weird being left alone.
I think my concern with "expectations" as created by my strip-clubbing experience, can be sub-divided into two categories, which can be summarized as, "cultural understandings" and "physical reactions."
One category is, cultural understandings: "how I've come to view male-female interactions, social expectations, picking up women, the role of sexuality and lust, and all those other cultural and biological drives." My view of those things is (obviously) inextricably linked to my strip-clubbing experiences, but that doesn't mean that my view is STRICTLY based ONLY on strip-clubbing. I've learned some "girl secrets" at strip clubs; I've learned some disconcerting things about myself; I've learned to stand outside of "typical" society and be able to look into it, rather than having to be an active participant in it. And standing outside has sometimes, once in a while, given me an advantageous perspective on normal society, such that I can actually use my outsider's superior knowledge to my advantage. I haven't managed, strictly, to "get laid like a bandit" merely because I "see through the bullshit" more, on the basis of having gone to strip-clubs. It's not as cut-and-dried as that. But I HAVE become happier, about the fact that I can't score in a civilian setting, and that happiness is based at least partly on new knowledge that I gain from seeing strip-clubbing in action, up close and personal. It's hard to define exactly what the new understandings are -- a little bit less innocence and puppy love, a little bit more willingness to credit my own desire for physical hotness and not feel "guilty" about it, a little bit of a sense of self-determination, a LOT less sense of desperation. It all wraps up into, I'm more "my own man" about sex romance and relationships, than I would be if I were shy timid and afraid of going to a strip club, or to any sexual-services provider.
But the other category, physical reactions: "how has my body, hands, endocrine system been changed by strip clubbing?" I can't get a boner for a fat girl. I need to have sex in a brightly lighted room. Whenever I meet a pretty girl I notice that I instinctively move to put my hand around her waist and hold her as though she and I were already boyfriend-girlfriend (and sometimes I have to catch myself and NOT do this, for it might be socially inappropriate in certain settings). I am now in the civilian world unlikely to think, "Omigood she is SOOOO HOT" or be intimidated by a woman's amazing physical beauty, regardless of how good she looks, because I "see through" it, recognize that I want her too have SKILLZ, and recognize that I can find ten others just like her down the street. These recognitions have become part-and-parcel of my subconscious "instincts" or reactions. My hands go to different places, my head goes to different places.
I worry that perhaps I'm unable to "initiate" interactions in a normal civilian way. If I were to go to a regular civilian bar and start talking to a girl who was NOT a stripper there, I might be stymied in the first few sentences because she would probably be a lot less forthcoming. She might even feel that the fact that I spoke to her, was an oddity, and she might look at me as an 'outsider' being weird. I don't know HOW she would perceive me at all, and this is a significant drawback to strip-clubbing: the fact that it isn't a fair indicator of real world likelihood of success, or a fair mirror of normal-world social interactions, at all. It can mislead you into a false sense of confidence and security -- false, is bad; confident and secure, is still probably good!
So, I don't claim that it is 100% an improvement. I'd really like to be able to land civilian girls who are AS HOT as strippers, or, who are, at least, in my mind, as PLEASING in terms of hotness-plus-service (is "service" the right word? "willingness to be cooperative"?). But that hasn't happened. Women in the real world are out there PROVING that they can be cantankerous, confrontational, uncooperative, difficult. They seem to think that being cunty princessy bitches is somehow feminine, and that men will like them if they are irrational, jealous, loud, as long as their tits are firm.
It's true, I like firm tits. But if the only thing a girl has to offer, is firm tits, then I'd rather than the girl acting like a typical stripper, than the girl acting like a typical Westchester JAP Princess, any day. At least I get to fondle the strippers tits, and then I get to LEAVE when I want to, and SHE has to wonder why SHE isn't getting the approval (in stripper terms: cash for dances) that she seeks.
Consequently, I go to strip clubs. :)
Now if the gift shop had a nude hottie selling the 12oz soda, would you have walked to an adjoining hotel?
There is no "connection". Everyone else gets this. Why can't you? It's all very simple.