Do you think SCs give you unrealistic expectations?

Just wait until you find out they're all crazy and then try asking again.

No. For me, it's just pure escapism. And sometimes, I don't really care who I'm banging as long as we hit it off all right. Why should your buddies care who you're banging? You don't have to have her turn them on, too.

They aren't all like Chernobyl. In the nightclub district within walking distance of my office there are about a dozen regular clubs packed with better looking girls most nights than you can find in any strip club within a two hour drive. But good luck picking them up. The thing about strippers is that they are more accessible than other girls, not better looking. A girl you can get intimate with for twenty bucks can magically appear a lot more attractive in your mind.

To answer the question, realism isn't what strip clubs are all about. However, the expectation that they tease you with is the fantasy that they're really into you. You may hook up once in a while, but as a regular thing, yeah, it gets expensive.

Bingo Chandler. Dating real girlfriends is work.

There is nothing real or realistic in the SC experience.

"Fucking anything with a pulse"

that's pretty funny, I've seen some very large women out there, I dont think strip clubs affect what I wont go after.

Necrophilia - crack open a cold one...

lol shadow

Yes, SCs give me the unrealistic expectation that hot young women actually find me interesting, funny, and very attractive. This has led to my forgetting where I was and trying to approach said women in real life. Almost all are appropriately horrified, some amused, and a very select few intrigued and receptive (of course, those may have actually been escorts/hookers).

The OP reminds me of one of my college roommate's favorite expression:
"Two tits, a hole, and an optional heartbeat."
Ouch...no thanx on that one...

the strip clubs are very addictive.

Every guy in here got a friend that's addicted to strip clubs.

Addicted like heroin, OK? Addicted.
You know those guys that cannot function
in a normal club.

You take 'em to a normal club,
they ask one girl to dance -

"Would you like to dance?"
"Maybe later."
"Yo, man, let's go to the titty bar.

"Man, these bitches is stuck up, man.

"I gave this bitch a dollar,
she didn't do nothing."
No. We all got those friends
that's addicted to strip clubs.

You know those guys
that go to the strip club in the daytime?

If you at a strip club and the sun is out,
you got some problems.

You know those guys that eat at the strip club?

Eat at the buffet.

How the fuck could you eat
at a nasty-ass strip club?

(Quote copied and pasted from Chris Rock comedy)

samsung, I was confused until you put the quote at the end.

eh, yeah it came out messed up after I did copy/paste. If you are a Chris Rock fan and have seen his stand up comedy, you will know what it is about. It is a funny reminder. If not, then o well lol.

Oh heck yeah I get "unrealistic" expectations. I wouldn't really say "expectations" though, because I know (logically, mentally) that they're unrealistic and therefore I don't ACTUALLY expect them to come true. But I still "instinctively" expect them to happen. In other words, from strip clubs I get a new set of ingrained responses, instincts, automatic nervous reactions and ... expectations.

One thing I get, is the natural tendency to touch females and even to drape my arm around their waists. Or reach for an ass. I have to watch myself, around the workplace.

Another thing I get, is the mental sense that I'll be free to assess whether or not I want to date a girl, on the basis partly of whether her bush is shaved, or whether her tits sag the right amount and perk the rightt amount, or even, more generally, what the fuck she looks like naked in the first place. From this experience I am firmly convinced that humans biologically assess one another on the basis of naked appearance, and that clothed appearance is just an impossible barrier to cross for pair-bonding.

Another thing I get, is the need to have "touching" sessions with people that I meet. I want to drape and smooth over skin, I want to touch cheeks and "hold dear" a face in my hand.

Another thing I get is an ability to feel sexually "satisfied" from a bout of interaction that does not include coitus to orgasm. I'm used to going home without wetting the willie and yet feeling all ground into submission.

Another thing I get is a quick judgment of people. It really doesn't take very long before a super-dumb stripper just utterly turns me off, no matter how hot she is physically, and I find that this judgment skill transfers to non-stripper life, too. Idiot bimbos are a dime a dozen, and I'm not your typical desperate North American male who will slather and drool all over her just because she happens to have giant fake tits, and then let her have my wallet and my car and my credit card just because you're "supposed to," like many guys. Thank you strip clubs!

Another thing I get is the sense that the girls I meet in "real life" don't know how to please a man. They don't initiate conversations, or grind with the proper amount of pressure and tension and teasing, or have very much blowjob or handjob skill (teeth! nails!). They're really pretty fucking lame, in fact, but I still feel desperate for the approval that I get from "dating for real."

And another thing, to wrap up this list (in no particular orde) is the general sense that there's no advantage to trying to hook up with a girl at a bar. I just can't get lucky, no matter how much or how little I try. There's something WAY fucked up about North American bitches, I don't want to get started. In strip clubs, all that crap is stripped away. Even if you're NOT in a money-for-time interaction (plentty of times, I'm not getting a dance) the girls are straightforward, decent, almost honest or ... umm ... rational, in a manner that reminds me of Europeans, of some of the more homely female classmates of mine who have figured out that acting frivolous-princessy-girly-girl is just not an act that works for anyone. Strippers are real humans, civilians are faakers. Or at least, that's another thing I get, from going to strip clubs.

I am one of the few (the only?) poster on this board who is able to distinguish between normal women and whores. If anything, strippers would tend to lower your expectations about the rest of humanity, but, fortunately, they are a such a small and vile minority, that one feels relieved talking to normal people who have not sunk to the level of strippers. I guess once you see the vileness some women are capable of you appreciate the ones who have maintained their humanity all the more.

@Book Guy----thank you. That was a very well-written explanation of the SC experience.

I suppose the most appealing about SC to me is that rejection is taken off the table. I won't walk across a bar to talk to some civilian girl, but I'll approach the hottest dancer in a club, no problem. Funny story, actually. Last time I was in my favorite club, I noticed a really attracive woman sitting alone at a table. 5'11", brunette, tiny dress, sexy heels---so I thought she was a new dancer. I approached her and gave her my usual SC rap, "You are the best looking woman here. My friend and I are sitting over here. You're welcome to join us, if you like.". She did, and it turned out she wasn't a dancer! No, she was there with her girlfriend who was a dancer. If I'd known she wasn't a dancer, I never would have approached her. Weird, eh?

Hooking up with a girl at a bar? Not likely for me, either. Bars don't play to my strengths. I'm a good conversationalist. I'm really funny. A loud bar/nightclub removes that from my aresenal. Hate bars.

I think some dancers are put at ease for the same reason we are---there's no pressure. Other than money, that is. And a pretty girl with a good, genuinely good, personality will do fine.

Yes, rejection is off the table, and so are some other pesky realities that both you guys find wanting in regular bars. It's not that civilian women don't KNOW how to please a man, laugh at all his jokes and generally make him feel like a king. It's that they aren't working at doing that as part of their job. Automatically receiving that treatment is off the table in real life.

@Chandler----if you ever read any of the books that tell women how to get a man, they say women should do EXACTLY what strippers do. They're supposed to be accepting, laugh at jokes, and stroke a man's ego. Women don't do that any more. They used to. Women in the 50's knew how to play to a man's strengths. Now it's all shallow bullshit.

Strippers sell a fantasy. That is their job / business.

Most of my (straight) female friends either aren't looking for a man, or are trying to dump the ones they have. Most women of today are just as tired of the bullshit games as much as guys are. "Stroke an ego"? "Make him feel like a king"? WTF? Talk about old school! Sorry, old guys - those days are dead and gone, thank goodness.

"if you ever read any of the books that tell women how to get a man"

Can't say as I have.

I think sometimes drunk girls in regular bars can get a bit annoying. I haven't experienced anything as bad as some annoying strippers though. I remember one girl in a regular bar came up to me and started talking. The next thing I know she keeps asking "you're married aren't you?" I said no again and again. Finally after a couple of minutes of that I got tired of it and said "yes, I'm married." Then she finally left. I guess I could have asked her questions to prove I wasn't married but instead used a tactic just to get rid of her as if I was in a strip club. Lots of times it seems like the girl most interested in you is someone you're not interested in. I remember another time sitting at a bar in a regular club a slightly older woman came up to me and gave me 4 free passes to her club. As she rubbed her breasts up against my shoulders she told me we need more people like you to visit. If I had been in a strip club, I might have thought she wanted to do a lap dance.

Most of the time in a regular bar though, you're just sitting around with no one bothering you and start thinking, this is really weird being left alone.

What happens if you see a dancer at a regular club and she comes over and talks to you for a few minutes? If she says she's going off to work, you might say "ok, see you in a little while."

casualguy, wouldn't the fact she's naked/half-naked and working at the strip club have something to do with it?

I was talking about meeting people in regular bars or clubs. No one is half naked there. Not even the dancer I met one night. Maybe I don't understand the question. I was talking about how I may be reacting a bit jaded due to visiting lots of strip clubs by getting rid of possibly single girls in regular bars who act the slightest bit like an annoying stripper.

wow man, you guys are some sexist fucks.

... not sure why bombay thinks we're sexist ... anyway ...

I think my concern with "expectations" as created by my strip-clubbing experience, can be sub-divided into two categories, which can be summarized as, "cultural understandings" and "physical reactions."

One category is, cultural understandings: "how I've come to view male-female interactions, social expectations, picking up women, the role of sexuality and lust, and all those other cultural and biological drives." My view of those things is (obviously) inextricably linked to my strip-clubbing experiences, but that doesn't mean that my view is STRICTLY based ONLY on strip-clubbing. I've learned some "girl secrets" at strip clubs; I've learned some disconcerting things about myself; I've learned to stand outside of "typical" society and be able to look into it, rather than having to be an active participant in it. And standing outside has sometimes, once in a while, given me an advantageous perspective on normal society, such that I can actually use my outsider's superior knowledge to my advantage. I haven't managed, strictly, to "get laid like a bandit" merely because I "see through the bullshit" more, on the basis of having gone to strip-clubs. It's not as cut-and-dried as that. But I HAVE become happier, about the fact that I can't score in a civilian setting, and that happiness is based at least partly on new knowledge that I gain from seeing strip-clubbing in action, up close and personal. It's hard to define exactly what the new understandings are -- a little bit less innocence and puppy love, a little bit more willingness to credit my own desire for physical hotness and not feel "guilty" about it, a little bit of a sense of self-determination, a LOT less sense of desperation. It all wraps up into, I'm more "my own man" about sex romance and relationships, than I would be if I were shy timid and afraid of going to a strip club, or to any sexual-services provider.

But the other category, physical reactions: "how has my body, hands, endocrine system been changed by strip clubbing?" I can't get a boner for a fat girl. I need to have sex in a brightly lighted room. Whenever I meet a pretty girl I notice that I instinctively move to put my hand around her waist and hold her as though she and I were already boyfriend-girlfriend (and sometimes I have to catch myself and NOT do this, for it might be socially inappropriate in certain settings). I am now in the civilian world unlikely to think, "Omigood she is SOOOO HOT" or be intimidated by a woman's amazing physical beauty, regardless of how good she looks, because I "see through" it, recognize that I want her too have SKILLZ, and recognize that I can find ten others just like her down the street. These recognitions have become part-and-parcel of my subconscious "instincts" or reactions. My hands go to different places, my head goes to different places.

I worry that perhaps I'm unable to "initiate" interactions in a normal civilian way. If I were to go to a regular civilian bar and start talking to a girl who was NOT a stripper there, I might be stymied in the first few sentences because she would probably be a lot less forthcoming. She might even feel that the fact that I spoke to her, was an oddity, and she might look at me as an 'outsider' being weird. I don't know HOW she would perceive me at all, and this is a significant drawback to strip-clubbing: the fact that it isn't a fair indicator of real world likelihood of success, or a fair mirror of normal-world social interactions, at all. It can mislead you into a false sense of confidence and security -- false, is bad; confident and secure, is still probably good!

So, I don't claim that it is 100% an improvement. I'd really like to be able to land civilian girls who are AS HOT as strippers, or, who are, at least, in my mind, as PLEASING in terms of hotness-plus-service (is "service" the right word? "willingness to be cooperative"?). But that hasn't happened. Women in the real world are out there PROVING that they can be cantankerous, confrontational, uncooperative, difficult. They seem to think that being cunty princessy bitches is somehow feminine, and that men will like them if they are irrational, jealous, loud, as long as their tits are firm.

It's true, I like firm tits. But if the only thing a girl has to offer, is firm tits, then I'd rather than the girl acting like a typical stripper, than the girl acting like a typical Westchester JAP Princess, any day. At least I get to fondle the strippers tits, and then I get to LEAVE when I want to, and SHE has to wonder why SHE isn't getting the approval (in stripper terms: cash for dances) that she seeks.

Consequently, I go to strip clubs. :)

Yes, because stripclubs are a fantasy world to start with. One recent example of different personal reactions in "civilian" world vs stripclub world: I'm on a business trip, staying at the all too typical "captive audience" business hotel. There were no vending machines on any floor, BUT there was a "gift shop". I outrageously balked at purchasing gift shops $1.95 12oz soda, walking to an adjoining hotel & getting soda from their vending machine. Meanwhile, I buy stripclubs $5 juices/sodas without batting an eyelash. LOL, go figure............

minnow,

Now if the gift shop had a nude hottie selling the 12oz soda, would you have walked to an adjoining hotel?

I don't care much for some kinds of unreal treatment from strippers. Too much ego stroking [insert hilarious "stroking" pun here] and saccharine affection only makes me aware of being one of many PLs she treats that way. I'd rather have her tell me when my jokes aren't funny or when I'm being boring. It feels more plausible when she acts comfortable with me, flaws and all, not like she has to pretend I'm some perfect monarch who's hypersensitive to any slight. If she's unreal about being a nymphomanic, however, I'm cool with that. Bummer how that doesn't carry over to chicks IRL.

My only expectation of a strip club is to provide an enjoyable evening/environment. I find there is less BS in a SC than a regular bar. IME there is a lot more pretentiousness in bars than a SC.

Earth to chandler! Earth to chandler! They are whores. You pay them money for sex. They have sex for money. Get it?

There is no "connection". Everyone else gets this. Why can't you? It's all very simple.