How do you know what they want?

potheadpl
Florida
I will admit that I'm a PL. I'm also pretty good looking and in excellent shape. Not having a steady girlfriend has allowed me to be obsessive about my diet and exercise, so I'm pretty buff. Not bragging, just giving background.

The clubs I visit tend to be filled with older guys. I live in an area which is populated by retirees, so we're talking guys in their 60s or older. I'm usually the youngest guy in the club, and I'm 39. I look 32, though.

Three dancers have given me their numbers lately. I didn't ask, they offered, and we've texted a bit. They've laid on the compliments really heavy, and genuinely act into me.They sit with me and nuzzle my neck in the main area, and make out with me in the private area.I'm perplexed. They're acting like they want GFE OTC, but I'm cynical. None of them have even mentioned VIP, but freely offered the number.

Again, Im a PL but I guess I don't look like one. How do I proceed here? I'm totally clueless with women.

29 comments

Latest

how
15 years ago
What do you want? Answer that for yourself, then go for that...

BTW, the answer to "What do they want?" is $$$.
gatorfan
15 years ago
Why post PL and then post every reason why you aren't? That makes no sense.

Strip clubs are not pick-up joints, usually money is involved if they want OTC, unless you know the girl fairly well already. Enjoy the clubs for what they are, a good time.
potheadpl
15 years ago
I'd like to hook up OTC but I really don't have the skills to pull it off. It's weird. I'm really comfortable talking to the dancers in the club, but I don't know how to go further.

And yeah, Gatorfan, I'm a PL. I just don't look like one. But I'm totally without game.
Dougster
15 years ago
pothead: "hook up" with or without paying? If you are talking about paying then, of course, if the gameless old men can pull it off you can too. Just ask. If you are talking "hooking up" without paying, well that one is a bit more tricky, and my advice is never bring money into the picture in the first place. Otherwise you will always be wondering if it's just about the money or not (when you shouldn't really wonder, because of course it will be). Anyway, if you are scoring makeouts and phone numbers without having paid them you are home free. Good luck!
txtittyfan
15 years ago
Is this like the movie "40 Year Old Virgin"? If you want to go further ASK! Every journey starts with the first step.
DickJohnson
15 years ago
Why dont you ask them to see you in a nice neutral location or something. Say go to church or maybe a real estate seminar. Then you can ask them what they are after.
Player11
15 years ago
An SC is not the place to find a GF (normal dating relationship, usually non monetary). It is a place to hook up with a stripper for dances, extras, or GFE (ITC or OTC paid sexual encounter). Your youth may work in your favor as far as cost; your probably blowing in the wind if you think they are going to do you for free. Currently I am getting GFE both ITC and OTC from 27 year old stripper at $200 POP. She is married and her performance in the sack is superior - been doing her about a year. If I were a young man, I would fill the sex partner slot asap with a gal like the one I am doing, then find a GF (not being that desparate) and then rotate them. Unlike a reg GF the stripper / escort will be discreet (since its mainly about money) so you can have some variety on the side once the GF relationship starts to produce results. Sort of like an I formation offense where you have the primary WR and then a Split End as your main receivers. Then a few tosses to a TE every now and then.
Dougster
15 years ago
DJ: Hilarious!
chandler
15 years ago
Nothing you've described is at odds with strippers simply trying to make or keep you as their regular customer. For anything more, your age and looks don't matter as much as whether they think you're fun to be with. If you're as comfortable talking with them as you say, they might enjoy killing time with you ITC regardless of how much money you spend.

You can probably rule out any chance that they want to date you or hook up for sex. If they did, there would be no doubt. Strippers tend to be pretty blunt about wanting that.
chandler
15 years ago
(I like how the '40 Year Old Virgin' question was immediately followed by a DickJohnson post.)
potheadpl
15 years ago
Thanks, guys. I appreciate all the good info. I am pretty clueless with women. Always have been.

They all tell me I'm cool, and funny, and that I'm interesting to talk to. I guess I'll go back and see what I can make happen.
gatorfan
15 years ago
I think I mentioned strip clubs are for having a good time, not pick up joints. Like TB said, strippers want $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$, they could care less if you think you're a PL.
chandler
15 years ago
BTW, PL = any customer who comes into a club
samsung1
15 years ago
based off the fact that your nick is "potheadpl" I am guessing one of your hobbies is smoking weed. Invite them to a party or to smoke some weed with you and see what happens from there. I would recommend not having them come over to your place if it is really nice because they might take advantage and steal from you.

Most strippers just want to make money but there are some pot heads who just want to make money to buy more pot. or they have a a regular day job and strip on the side to make extra money to buy extra drugs.
Player11
15 years ago
If the dancer your interested in goes to church maybe join her sunday school class LOL. Don't tell her you go to SC.
lopaw
15 years ago
I always thought calling ourselves (and each other) "PL's" was just a good-natured ribbing because of this wonderful hobby that we all share. Kind of an inside joke sort of thing. Does anyone here really consider themselves to be a pathetic loser? I hope not! I mean, we all have moments that we're not too proud of when it comes to interfacing with women (myself included), but I hope no one here actually thinks of themselves as a REAL pathetic loser!
Dougster
15 years ago
lopaw: MisterGay is the only truly pathetic loser on this board (now that parody is gone). Everyone else, even chandler and txtittyfan who are getting close to being true PLs having moments where they briefly redeem themselves and, thus, just miss true PL'dom.
steve229
15 years ago
lopaw - like the new photo...is that the kind of "interfacing with women" you were referring to? (if so, looks fine to me).

Anyway, I agree that calling ourselves PL's just means we're all aware that we're trading our money for a dancer's time, attention, affection, etc. True PL'dom usually involves thinking there is something more to it than that.
Clubber
15 years ago
lopaw,

Like anything else here, ones definition of PL could be as different as night and day. So really, what does it matter?
chandler
15 years ago
That's a good way to put it, Steve. Only doesn't it kind of spoil the joke to come out and say that it's not for real? I get a kick out of posters who take offense at being included as one of us PLs. That's a true sign of PL'dom.
minnow
15 years ago
php: Did you ever consider calling them up and asking them? The worst they could do would be to say no.

p11- Like your football analogies, esp. talk about wide receivers & tight ends.

lp- You really need to catch up with s-cat on # of pics posted. Looking forward to many more like the ones you have.

TB- Is avatar that of a guy with a big dick getting a BJ, or is it a woman with a long tongue teasing a guy with a tiny pecker? Was scene shot at sunrise or sunset? Would you know what time of the day the "longest shadow" would be cast??
harrydave
15 years ago
Pothead, I think "how" said it best, "What do you want?"

Just because guys on this discussion board talk about OTC extras a lot, doesn't mean you have to work for that. On the other hand, if you want to have sex, then maybe this is your opportunity. Yes, they are looking for $$, or maybe $$$, or maybe $$$$$. But the first step does not have to be sex for money. It could be a couple of drinks or dinner.

I'm not exactly an aggressive type either. My typical move was to first establish myself as a regular with a girl (say 4 or 5 times in the club getting dances mostly from her) then basically ask her to dinner. In some cases, the girl would take a break with me; in other cases, we would set up a date for the next night. I used dinner as a way to get on a more even relationship, if possible (not always possible!). The key for me is I wanted to spend time with the girl, irrespective of having sex or not.

So, figure out what you want: a human relationship with the possibility of sex, or just sex? Then just ask. Getting shot down is worse than chiding yourself for being too timid.

gk
15 years ago
How is right. What they want is $$$. The phone number is usually just club/dancer marketing. If you're interested in doing more, put her on the spot by reciprocating with your phone number and hinting about what you want and see if supply meets demand. This usually levels the playing field quickly as to who is simply dancer marketing or who is OTC marketing.
gk
15 years ago
Wasn't PL originally a euphemism for a customer who was too naive about clubbing to understand how to participate in the action to get maximum results as opposed to just gawking up close?

But now it seems to have an expanded meaning to encompass people who spend too much time in clubs. If that's the case we all are indeed PLs. But I don't like the condescention. I prefer PR--Pathetic Regular!
Regular--PR
chandler
15 years ago
GK, I believe it got started with a very specific incident on ASSC in the mid-90s. A dancer from San Francisco named Siren wrote a very spiteful email to another dancer about all the ASSCers who regularly gathered at her club. She wrote something to the effect of, "They think we think they're cool, but to us they're all just pathetic losers." The message "accidentally" got posted to the newsgroup where it caused a storm, especially the PL phrase. Some ASSCers began jokingly adopting the term for themselves, and before long "PL" was being widely used all over the NG as a synomym for any SC customer. For example: "The club was busy, with about 15 dancers working, and at least twice that many PLs in attendance."
how
15 years ago
T-Bro, how'd you get that picture of me for use as your new avatar?
casualguy
15 years ago
Phone numbers can lead to meeting up later or discussions on the phone. Discussions could range from when someone is coming into the club (perhaps to make sure you are there to let's meet up later). Sometimes the meet up later could be a ruse or just to lead you on when she doesn't intend to follow through but think she needs to do that to keep you buying dances in the club. Other times she does want to meet up for something (often involves money but not always). If you want to go for it, just talk and see what comes out of it. If things seem to be going well and you want to do more. Then you can always ask later. If she doesn't want to do what you want, you can try again with another girl. It's like working out your muscles. If you haven't ever done it, it may seem scary but you just have to start somewhere and you get better with practice. Dancers can be fun to be around but many also seem to have problems with drugs, other people, or being a bit reckless in their personal lives or lacking self esteem in some cases. If you want to mess around with the wild and reckless, you may experience it. That's not to say that every dancer could be different and that your mileage and experience may vary.
chandler
15 years ago
IMO, "Just ask" isn't good advice when you're dealing with a girl whose job is to make you feel like she's into you. If she happens to truly be into you, then terrific, things may work out fine and dandy.

If, on the other hand, she's simply very good at acting her part, you may be in for some trouble. She's probably not going to give you a straight answer. You see, it might be bad for business for her to come out and tell you sorry, she's not interested in going out with you, she's just pretending to like you in that way. So, what she tells you instead is something we call stripper shit, intended to not kill your hopes but to keep you as a customer.

The problem is that you often can't tell the difference between sincere affection and stripper shit. Even when she sees it as just part of doing her job well, you can wind up wasting a lot of time and worry if you "just ask". Not that you never should ask for what you want. Not at all. It's just that you need to beware of taking everything you hear at face value. A strip club isn't the same as a singles bar.
MisterGuy
15 years ago
"I'd like to hook up OTC but I really don't have the skills to pull it off."

Skills?? What's required is money & having the balls to ask for what YOU want in the first place when you go OTC, period.

As far as PLs go, this is still the all-time standard for PLs as far as I'm concerned:
http://www.tuscl.net/dt.php?DID=74018
They should link to that thread in the glossary!
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