Well guys, I have now been out on 4 different occations and each and every time I have been asked if I am married. This seems to be important for the guy to know.
Now, I am not sure if this is because of my age and the fact that I always wear my ring, or if it fits into the guys overall fantasy of knowing the girls is married. Not sure if this is because the guys feels they may have more of a chance for a OTC experience if I were not married.........just don't know.
Your thoughts?
I believe it is called "making conversation". Everyone has different wants/needs/expectations when visiting a SC. We all have different fantasies. Trying to interpret what others mean by the simple question " are you married"? brings your biases into play. After all, you are older and wearing a ring. Conversation happens in the SC.
Drippy,
Do you think it is everyones fantasy to a OTC experience?
In my case, an OTC is part of the fantasy, but I have realistic expectations of the SC experience. What guy won't want to bring home one (or more) of those beautiful women we see on stage? Being a bit older, my fantasy of an OTC with a 20 something dancer is pretty cool. Remember that guys are visually stimulated and looking at good looking mostly naked dancers excites the imagination and leads to the OTC fantasy.
Among the day shift dancers at my favorite club, I pretty much know who is married, etc. I have never had an OTC experience (lunch or sex)with any of the ones I know to be married. Of the ones that I have seen OTC 99% of them had boy friends of the useless, bum type. I know that some dancers wear wedding rings and/or tell you that they are married, just to keep you from hitting on them. Veronica (has left the building) and I were having one of only two make out sessions that I have ever had when She said "if I wasn't married, we would be at your hotel room right now!". Married dancers, while giving great dances, seem to draw the line at OTC.
If a dancer wears a wedding ring, I don't ask if she's married. Either she is, or she wants customers to think she is. She is saying she's not available, so don't incorporate such thoughts into your fantasy...
Anyone see the recent playboy issue about married women cheating? (I subscribe to it so I get it before it hits news stands). It had a poll of married woman on how many have cheated and it was 1%. Then they took an anonymous poll of married woman and the percentage was 6%. Regardless of if it was anonymous or not, the percentage of married women who are willing to cheat are very slim. 6% is not very good odds in our favor.
I've never asked a dancer if she's married. It's irrelevant to me because I have no intent to take anything further than what happens in the club.
As to judyjudy's question about an OTC experience, I suspect most guys have that fantasy. I certainly do, but reality is that I will not pursue it since I'm married. Now, if the wife happens to suggest a threesome one day (unfortunately, I'm not holding my breath on that one), then I'll be more than happy to adjust my position on OTC!
Married dancers, in Detroit, generally give boring dances. Must be thinking about children and bills during the experience.
My ATF was never married, but did live with a guy. We still went out and he knew of me and I, of course, knew about him. Never was a problem, but I think she could talk to me, but seemed to always have problems talking to him, from what she told me.
As for the question, usually it is the dancer that asks me. I've never ask, nor do I care if they are. When asked, I just show them my ring.
I don't really care if a dancer is married or not, and I'd rather not find out either way. If she is wearing a wedding ring, then it's pretty obvious. But it still wouldn't bother me all that much.
I've had several married dancers meet me OTC for fun & games, but I guess I have an unfair advantage over you guys. I also think the percentage of married women willing to cheat is MUCH higher than what was stated in that poll.
If I go into a high contact club but a married dancer doesn't want hardly any contact, I do not want to get any dances from her. I've had some married dancers tell me they were married rather quickly but they let me know rather quickly that wasn't going to be any problem with having fun with the lap dances. Example, they put my hands up on their tits to start off the lap dance. I like that. I seem to always forget to look for a ring. I tend to remember how much she seemed to be into me or if her dances were mostly air or high contact.
One night not too long ago I surfed upon an advertisement for a one day free pass to some type of online dating site. However it was for married women seeking guys. I wasn't interested. You can call me anti-social but I prefer not to have anyone clinging to me like I believe someone would from a dating site. Unless she is the hottest thing I've seen in some time. Then I would really wonder what she is after. I'm not interested in hooking up with any dancers right now either.
Their having a ring does not bother me, heck the one I have been doing OTC for a year is not only is married but openly wears her ring. I think some guys do have a prob if a stripper is married. All strippers I have known are either married or have a BF (usually some worthless bum). I did one for three wonderful years otc and she would try to tell me he was just there to see his kid (and their relationship was platonic)and even offered to have me call him to verify (she wore her ring too. I knew better, and her best friend (who I had a few sessions with too LOL) confirmed it. In fact he was living with her and her 4 kids (by 3 different men) and did not mind the money she was bringing in from her meetings with me as he was a jobless ex con.
I don't see the point of asking if they are married. I have known that one was married and it didn't affect anything. I was DATY before and after with her.
JudyJudy, a smart stripclubber know to be cautious about what he is told by a dancer. A smart dancer should do the same with what she is told by a customer --that's on a one-time basis. When you become a regular, the rules change, requiring some disclosure. When/if you do OTC, the rules change again requiring a little more openness perhaps. Go with your gut feeling. I personally don't like to get into those types of conversations right at the beginning.
JudyJudy, I think your insights are correct. First, I don't think age is the primary issue. The SC experience is fantasy which would include the plausible scenario of OTC activity. Wearing your ring is an outward sign that you belong to one man and thus the fantasy of the customer is lowered and his chances of being with you OTC reduced. Showing your ring sends the message that you are not available to fulfill his fantasy, even if you are willing to. Just my $.02 worth.