Others have touched on it. There's a whole gamut of life circumstances, with the best possible outcome (at least, for some) being a desirable long-term partner that you're fortunate to be attracted to over many years, all without either partner growing in a manner that diverges from wanting to sustain the relationship.
But that's an increasingly unlikely exception to what appears to be the prevailing rule of modern society.
Add in the comically punitive divorce laws that have been steadily advancing in scope over the last 30 years (which exhausts men at the individual level while conveniently juicing more labor hours out of each and every working man in the country), and the whole thing just reeks of a bad deal.
I would love to have the picturesque family unit that the most fortunate of us have managed to build up for themselves.
But faced with today's odds, consciously reaching for that with both eyes open means that I am fully anticipating that I, out of legions of men, will be one of the lucky ones. As far as I can tell, quite a lot of married men are living quiet but utterly desperate lives.
You get point. "I will be exceptionally lucky" is not a particularly pragmatic mindset for navigating today's long-term relationship culture.
I find it hard to blame men, even relatively young men, for leaning on less-than-ideal substitutes. It's not the only way to adapt to the way things are now (and the way they've been trending, and might still trend), but I find it harder nowadays to think of hobbying-related activities as the "low road" that I used to.
Comments made by PeasantScum