What’s Really Going on in Clubs (A Different Take)

9/29/2023 3:08:35 PM

Strip clubs are often portrayed in the media as places of exploitation, criminal activity and moral decay. Fair enough, and there is plenty of evidence to support this. In fact, many of the readers of this site openly talk about pushing the limits with dancers or getting extras. Which, is not my thing, but is fine in my opinion, as long as all parties are consenting adults. Most states don’t agree, however.

That said, exploitation exist in many labor markets, be it coal mining or the service and hospitality industry. Why strip clubs get singled out has more to do with our country’s preoccupation with the puritan view of sexuality than it does with actually preventing exploitation.

Here, I offer another perspective on what is also going on in clubs. I posit that today’s clubs are more than ever a part of the care and compassion industry, that so many women already work in - males too, but this site is mainly about clubs catering to heterosexual males.

Let me explain further, we live in a physically disconnected society. People in any occupation actually sitting in the same room together is less and less common. Phones, tablets, laptops are how we connect with our coworkers, friends and families everyday. As a society, we are starving for actual, real human connection. Strip clubs deliver this in the most direct way. Strip clubs are designed to create the feeling of intimacy. You are in the room with other people, many of whom are naked. Within minutes of entering a well run club, you are seen, spoken too and touched.

For many guys this is why we come back. The dancers at strip clubs are providing a compassion and care service, mostly to men, just like they do in so many other fields, be it health care, psychology, of the hospitality industry.

Men talk to strippers about problems, they seek touch and connection. They go to see and be seen by women. They are willing to pay for this experience, just like they pay for nursing care, a massage, or a counselor. Is you ATF stripper your friend or lover, nope!. Is she really good at her and providing care for you, yes! This is no different than your shrink or your massage therapist (I am not referring to happy endings). Can you be friendly with dancers and have good, meaningful conversations and experiences that benefit both parties for an agreed upon fee, you bet. And sometimes the fee is a lot less than you would pay in more “well respected” industries.

11 comments

Latest

JackKash
•
a year ago
Hmmm... I don't know. I'll have to let this idea percolate. It depends on the club and the girl.
iknowbetter
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a year ago
Interesting take. I agree that many guys are going to strip clubs for human connection, touch, and intimacy which may be lacking in their lives, but there is still a lot of exploitation, abuse, human trafficking, prostitution, STD’s, and drug and alcohol abuse, not to mention money laundering and organized crime going on in and around strip clubs and the sex worker environment.
So while strip clubs may be providing essential, legitimate services, it’s still a nasty business.
MRsalty99!
•
a year ago
I agree with you iknowbetter. I think my take is trying to say, “at their best strip clubs can and do offer a societal good, If like other countries, we could get over the regulation of private sexual relations between consenting adults.” I actually have never asked for or been offered extras at a club and that isn’t what I want. I want to enjoy the view, the company and the fantasy. It is pure escapism, just like a movie or a vacation. Let’s bring all the work the ladies do out of the shadows and make it legal. This will help remove a lot of the exploitation and abuse.
RiskA
•
a year ago
“I actually have never asked for or been offered extras at a club…”.
Please give your State & general location: I need to cross out off my tourism list.
But even in the brothel clubs I visit, what you say is often present. Some girls specialize in this service, draw regulars and make really good livings. I patronized one such for 10+ years, even tho I never got more than a HJ from her in a club with hot & cold running sex. As you say, it scratched my itch more than the transactional and often mechanical sex.
mogul1985
•
a year ago
MRsalty99: what you wrote falls in-line with my thoughts. In my case, my wife has been 100% totally disabled for 23 years (MS, dementia from brain radiation for cancer). Being able to hit a strip club a few times a year does help wit the intimacy I'm missing at home. BTW, when it comes to extras, no BJ or LFK; if her hand goes in for a deep dive, I'll take it. I never talk about this to anyone except here. People can think whatever about me however, I still have needs and SCs are good "therapy" as I won't have affairs.
Dan3635
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a year ago
So true Mr. Salty!

Loneliness and isolation are real issues for adult men in the US. Stripper may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but for those of us who enjoy the club experience, there are many mental health benefits.
Rob1115
•
a year ago
Interesting take. I rarely go into my problems if ever with a stripper. I go to clubs because there is no intimacy at home and I miss it. My wife lost interest in sex after menopause and she hates to dress in anything other than jeans and not the sexy kind. Sexy is not in her vocab. Intellectually I know that the intimacy is not genuine but I'll take the illusion. Basically sometimes feel like I'm leading a double life since I go to clubs probably once or twice a week, I have a couple favs and am a regular at at several clubs but there is no one but here that I can discuss the experiences.
PoundKing
•
a year ago
I've talked about this with a few dancers. Some of them scoffed at the idea. But yeah some of them are good at talking to customers and making lonely men feel better. Every one of them admitted they were selling an illusion. Calling it a care and compassion business and comparing it to actual therapists is delusional. Read the strippers subreddit and see what the strippers really think
Jascoi
•
a year ago
good article!
tbot1102
•
a year ago
Nice article. Human touch …..especially if the sensuous kind is an amazing thing. So I agree with the premise.
5footguy
•
a year ago
@PoundKing "Calling it a care and compassion business and comparing it to actual therapists is delusional. Read the strippers subreddit and see what the strippers really think"

"Actual therapists," as you call them, are still people, and they are in it to make money. Are you under the impression that receiving education from people and getting a license from a government entity erases their base human nature? They still bitch about going to work, they still get together at parties and talk about how they hate their jobs, they still talk about their patients to each other. I'm not comparing the efficacy of going to a therapist versus going to a stripper. But strippers and therapists are both in the business of *making money* and if you think medical providers across the board are any more noble than anyone else, you've been fully deluded. I could tell you some true stories about medical providers (which would include therapists) that would make your skin crawl. Multi-hundred-billion dollar (or maybe $1T+) industries like health care, including mental health care, aren't in the business of curing people.