Is it ironic for PLs to have a soft spot for ATFs they frequent over and over again? Why commit to an ATF when the entire hobby seems to contradict commitment? But is it possible that an ATF at a club actually plays a role that’s different than the one-and-done girl or the permanent relationship in the real world?
Most common descriptions of the club experience are based on the idea of the one-and-done girl. It’s about venturing into an exciting, thrilling, unknown, what-happens-stays-here type of experience that isn’t meant to be repeated at the same place with the same performer. The goal is as much if not more to create a long lasting memory of a rare and crazy adventure than the adventure itself. The goal is much more about variety than about a guaranteed outcome. Travelling and wandering PLs often repeatedly look for these never-to-be-repeated experiences. It’s a deliberate high risk, high reward groundhog day where you want something different every time whether it pans out or not.
But that clearly isn’t the only motivation for PLs. It’s not even obvious that the club economy is mostly driven by these variety seeking PLs. It’s very common to meet tenured performers who talk about having a series of regulars who are financing them. Many performers even seek out these recurring relationships with regulars since it clearly lowers the cost, effort, and risk of obtaining their net earnings. It opens the question of whether these recurring PL/ATF relationships are a type of structured polyamory between long-term sugar babies and daddies.
Let’s define an ATF as a performer who is visited regularly by a series of PLs for an extended duration of time. Regularity is usually somewhere between every week to once every few months. The duration is usually around a year but occasionally can become a multi-year engagement with some PLs visiting the same ATF for nearly her entire career. There are some clear characteristics of ATFs from the perspective of a regular PL that distinguish them from the otherwise random performer.
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Intimacy outside of the VIP. Where real or fake, ATFs have a radically different engagement with PLs than average dancers. They look you in the eyes, hold your hands, whisper in your ears, chat about real life shit, smile and laugh at your jokes, and let the mutual touching begin way before hitting the VIP. A PL and ATF can recognize each other just from a look across the club. Whether it is real or fake on the part of the ATF, there is something emotional that is not offered to any other random schmuck in the club. Maybe it’s offered to other loyal regular PLs too, but it’s clearly over and above the usual experience.
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Limit breaching inside VIP. While it may depend on the rules of the city, ATFs always reward the loyalty of their regular PLs by extending and violating the usual limits placed on random PLs. Even when quoted costs may be the same across performers, an ATF might either avoid upcharges/hustles or provide more service for the same cost. These extended services range from the privilege of seeing more than should be seen to touching more than should be touched to much more. This becomes another huge incentive for PLs to become regulars by literally getting more bang for the buck.
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Possibility/expectation for reciprocation. The typical transaction is mostly a fee exchanged for one-way service. But with an ATF, there is the possibility and even expectation that service is rendered back. This is where the transaction itself feels fuzzy in a very similar way that committed relationships do. The PL/ATF relationship is clearly evolved beyond a customer/supplier into something that creates more mutual emotional and physical benefit.
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Possibility for outcall/ooc/otc activity and communications. It’s nearly impossible to get a random performer’s number, but much easier with an ATF since mutual trust has been established. This can lead at worst to an extension of the emotional intimacy even outside club time and at best to an extension of the physical activity outside of the club as well. Even if this is offered to multiple loyal regular PLs, it suggests a different type of relationship than the typical anonymous one-and-done.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that an ATF would make for a good permanent relationship. In spite of all the extended benefits which are conferred consistently, the PL recognizes that he is still not uniquely receiving them. The realness of the emotional and physical intimacy aside, the ATF is simply establishing a frequent flyer loyalty program to reward return customers. While any PL might feel special getting loyalty benefits, the fact that it’s a transaction is still pretty clear.
While the motivations of an ATF for a lower risk, effort, and cost way to earn are very clear, the motivations of the regular PL are not that clear. For example, is it obvious whether a regular PL would accept an ATF who was more or less physically attractive than a one-time-and-done performer? On one hand, one of the reasons to settle and commit to an ATF might be the ATF’s exceptional physical attractiveness and service mileage. But hypothetically if a regular PL with an ATF who is an 8 happens to spot a brand new, unknown dancer who is a 10, which would he choose?
It reopens the question of what the actual goal for a PL is. Is the goal purely based on cost, looks and mileage? Or are there conditions under which, for example with an ATF, where a PL would sacrifice looks and mileage in exchange for some other form of guaranteed gratification? How does a PL contrast the guarantee of known gratification with the thrill of the unknown? Could the FOMO of the thrill of the unknown lead to ATFs being devalued over time? Do ATFs need to constantly renew/recycle what gratification is guaranteed to keep their regular PLs loyal? Think back to your most memorable club experiences. Was it just looks and mileage that you remembered, or was there some other factor that tells us something about why regular PLs seek ATFs?
While finding an ATF is never easy, converting a random performer into an ATF is no different than converting a woman in the real world into a relationship. At the heart, a performer is not going to establish a regular PL relationship with a guy who is poor, obnoxious, or a jerk. Being proactive helps. Showering a potential ATF with dances, tips, compliments, and drinks clearly helps. Listening to her and engaging in meaningful conversation helps. Making her feel special in a substantive way helps. Speaking of showering, not smelling like a bag of vomit helps. Even if becoming permanently committed isn’t the goal, the same principles of attraction apply when trying to recruit an ATF. Even though it is the performer who is usually selling the basic service, the onus is on the PL to earn the trust to become a regular frequent flyer member and become worthy of the 4 things above.
Why do you think regular PLs visit ATFs? Is there some other factor besides looks and mileage that ATFs provide that might be even more potent than looks and mileage? If you met someone in the real world who wanted to be in an open polyamorous relationship, what would you expect from her that’s different than what you’d expect from a committed GF? The answers might reveal something deeper about the club experience than the conventional one-and-done, what-happens-stays-here framing would suggest.
