Strip Club and Other Related Club Oddities
Harderlap
New Mexico
Live Topless vs. Topless
We have all seen “Live Topless” advertised and many of the clubs we go to have such a sign out front. And, truth be told, live topless is better than dead topless. There are comedy routines about it.
About 30 years ago I spent a lot of time in the Silicon Valley area as we had a contract there with a major aerospace contractor. The strip clubs in the South Bay were pretty lame in those days, but we hit them before we knew better, thinking each one would be better than the last. They weren’t. Each one was as bad as the last.
One club in Sunnyvale, I think it was The Brass Rail, had a sign out front advertising “Topless Entertainment”. So, my friend Bob and I went in. It was a small bar and the patrons seemed more inclined to play pool than watch the dancers. That should have tipped us off. We got a seat up front and watched the dancers. There was a large (for 1989)TV at the back of the stage showing the dancer. I didn’t think anything about it. But the first dancer came and went without taking her top off, which is not unusual as some dancers do that if they are shy, or people are not tipping, or if they are mad at the male sex in general. The same thing happened with the second dancer and two thirds through the third dancer’s set, it was apparent she was not going to get topless either. So, where was the “Topless Entertainment” advertised out front?
We pigeon holed the barmaid and asked her why the dancers weren’t getting topless, figuring they were striking or something. She pointed to the TV at the back of the stage, where they were showing a video of the dancer on stage, topless, prerecorded! So, topless entertainment, but not live. We were stunned. The barmaid, who must have fielded a lot of complaints, told us if we wanted our cover charge back we needed to talk to the manager. We decided not to, and chalk it up to experience. None the less, a manager came out to talk to us and tell us that they were doing battle with the city council over an ordinance that banned topless dancing. Their lawyer had advised them that this was legal until they could settle the issue in court. So, that “live” in front of topless means something.
Semi-Live Topless Entertainment
Now, it turns out there is something between “Live Topless” and merely “Topless”. There was a bar between the San Diego Airport and Point Loma that advertised Semi-Live Topless Entertainment out front. This was something we had to see in person. When we walked in, there was no stage, but rather a narrow glassed in area maybe 3 feet wide by 12 feet long behind the bar. The dancers danced there, topless, behind glass. When they were on the floor they had their tops on. Talking to the bartender, he said that there was an ordinance prohibiting topless dancing, but when it was separated from the bar, as it was with the glass, it was OK. Apparently patrons complained about the live topless entertainment sign out front being misleading, so they changed it to Semi-Live. That was my first encounter with the tip parade, as the only way one could tip the dancers was on the floor, so they came around for tips after they danced. It was a pretty sterile experience.
The place stopped having entertainment, topless or otherwise in the 80s sometime, but the sign remained long after that. The legacy of that ordinance remains in San Diego today, one must stay six feet away from the dancers when they are on stage. They still come around after they dance for the tip parade though.
Free Camping
As you drive west on I-90 in South Dakota, approaching MItchell, there is a sign advertising the Kongo Club in Mitchell. The Kongo Club is located just north of Mitchell in a semi-rural area. Among the amenities advertised on the sign is “Free RV Camping”. Now, I have been to the Kongo Club and there are really no camping facilities there, at least what one would think of as normal RV sites, so I suppose that means you can park your RV there overnight. The place is hopping during pheasant hunting season and in the days before and after the Sturgis rally, mildly busy during summer tourist season, but pretty much dead most of the rest of the year. I guess all of those demographics are heavy into RVs, so the promotion kind of makes sense, but I have never seen an RV camped there.
Nude Demos
Albuquerque used to have three or four “lotion parlors”, all located within a mile or so of each other. For forty dollars or so, you could buy a bottle of lotion. With the $40, came a “nude demo” on how to use and apply the lotion. The demonstrator could be nude, you could be nude, or both. Extras could be negotiated. There were some variations, at least one of the parlors offered optional hot tubs for the demos, you could get two “demonstrators”, and some offered heated lotion. This was, of course, all a dodge from the anti prostitution laws. These were all run by the same guy and eventually he had piled up so many charges, mostly minor, that he agreed to shut down the parlors in turn for them dropping all the charges. Soon thereafter, they tore them all down and redeveloped the area.
Classical Dance
ShadowCat will probably remember Peggy at the Wild Goose. If you frequented the Wild Goose near LAX in the 80s, chances are that you saw Peggy dance. Peggy was a classically trained ballet dancer, with a dancer’s lean body, who did a ballet routine on stage, getting topless for the last part. This routine had varied success, some enjoyed it as a good artsy interlude from the typical topless bump and grind dances, and others disliked it intensely and thought it a waste of time. At times she was booed. We always tipped her, figuring she was doing what she liked and the dancing was good and deserved some appreciation. Not everyone did. She always came and talked to us. On one occasion we asked her why she danced at the Wild Goose and she said she got tired of dancing at the places where guys got hand jobs under the table. Somewhere I think I still have a Wild Goose Calendar.
In the early 2000s, my strip clubbing buddy retired to Northern California. He was at a street fair and saw a dancer dancing solo to the live music doing the same routine as Peggy did at the Goose. He was reluctant to approach her as many dancers like to keep their dancing lives and private lives separate, but she approached him and it was, indeed Peggy, who had also retired to Northern California. Small world.
Topless Casino
Not really a strip club, but for awhile there was a topless casino in east Rapid City. It was advertised on several billboards on I-90 and around the hills. The dealers were topless, as were the bartenders, but when they were out from behind the tables, they had to put a top on. I didn’t see the attraction as there was no dancing, or other than normal activities by the dealers and bar tenders. I suppose it was good enough to distract some of the losers into thinking less rationally and losing even more money than they normally would. There were signs everywhere warning not to touch, strictly enforced!. That place is gone, as are all of the strip clubs in Rapid City, as low key as they were.
I suspect that I have missed some oddities as my memory isn’t what it used to be, so if you have some, put them in the comments.
Adjudicators
RockAllNight
I don’t recall Peggy, but the Wild Goose was on my way home from work in the early ’80’s. Stopped in quite a few times.
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Haha, there's a massage parlor near me that does something like this but it's true persona as a whorehouse is more overt once you get there. Their website describes the service as follows:
Premier beautifully decorated center featuring fine men's colognes, oils, and lotions. An independent distributor of fine products from Young Living Essential Oils. We offer special warm herbal oil application demonstrations to accurately demonstrate the oils and lotions. We have a lovely selection of caring attendants.
In the waiting room they have a display case about 4' tall by 1' wide with little bottles of oil. I once (jokingly) asked an "attendant" if those oils and lotions are any good. She said, "Why, do you want to buy some?" Lol. She assured me that in the several years she's worked there they haven't sold a single bottle of the stuff. The rooms are rented by the hour or 1/2 hour and you pick your "attendant." I've never even had so much as a shoulder massage before the real fun starts.