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Harderlap

New Mexico

When I wrote my article on visiting a strip club for the first time, https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=4…, I included the short paragraph:

“The second thing you should realize is that there are exceptions to everything that goes on in a strip club and everything that someone says about what goes on in a strip club. You won’t necessarily get the same experience someone else got, or even the same experience the next time you go, or even from the same dancer. "

And I got the following comment back from Subraman:

“Definitely true. You could write an entire article about just the many facets of this. The fact that you could find a club that's almost always so-so, and just find the right girl, and it's amazing. The fact -- disputed by some, but nevertheless a fact -- that the girls don't all do the same things for everyone for the same price, and in fact might not even do the same thing for YOU for the same price next time you go.”

So after some thought, I decided to write this article about that very subject.

Regulars
In most clubs regulars get better treatment than the guy who only comes in once in awhile or the first time visitor. This should come as no surprise, but it does to some. Dancers know what to expect from a regular and feel comfortable with him. They know he will spend money and what he expects from them. They don’t have to explain rules or boundaries. They know that they he will be back and that they should treat him well or he won’t bother with them the next time. So, become a regular at a club, even if it is only once a month or once every two months. Try to go in at the same time, or when the same dancers are working. But, even regulars don’t get the same treatment every time they go in and some of the reasons are below.

Money and Tipping
There are lots of things that go into the kind of experience you get in a strip club, including some I don’t know about. I think how you spend your money is one big factor. Dancers like tippers, so I tip. First off, I tip all the dancers when they dance on stage. It is a cheap way to get empathy from the dancers. It acknowledges that you realize that the dancers get at least a portion of their income from dancing on stage and that you want to contribute to their income, even if you don’t want a table or private dance from them Also, it makes the dancers that don’t get tipped a lot appreciate you tipping them and in the same manner, appreciate you. And thirdly, it says to the other dancers I am not just into a pretty face or fancy dance moves. I think many, but not all, dancers appreciate the guy who appreciates other dancers by tipping them and hence, all of the other dancers will treat you better. In some clubs, a tip is expected for extras and I do tip on that. But I don’t for just a great dance. If you have tipped before, dancers will remember and be more generous. But they will expect it again. I am not talking exorbitant tips here, or making it rain.

I also think that tipping the wait staff is important. It builds rapport and also helps them to look the other way if you are doing something with a dancer that is strictly against club rules. The waitress is more likely to ignore what you are doing if you have tipped her. Again, I am not talking exorbitant tips to waitresses here, 15% to 25% is fine. Fifty cents on a six dollar beer is not.

I don’t tip bouncers.

If you spend money on dancers when you visit the club, you will get remembered and your experience is likely to be better next time. You don’t need to spend a lot, dancers like even the small spenders if they are reliable and visit often. You will get treated better than the guy who never buys dances when he comes in or the guy who only buys dances from one dancer and then wants to change favorites. If you intended to have a dance with your favorite but she isn’t there, try out some of the other dancers. They will appreciate you for it. Also, dancers tend to think that a guy who just sits and doesn’t get dances doesn’t want dances so they tend to avoid asking him after awhile. If you get stuck in this rut, just ask a dancer for a dance, don’t wait for them to come to you.

Who is in club
Who is in the club also determines what kind of experience you will get. If the house mother or manager is there and wandering around, things are likely to be stricter than if they are not there. If you know what times these people are not there, you will likely have a better experience, Many do not show up early on day shifts or low traffic days. I remember walking into a club early on a Saturday afternoon and one of my favorites who nearly always gave good dances grabbed me almost as soon as I walked in the door. She whispered in my ear, “The manager is gone and there is no one here to watch the cameras, so we can have a good time in the VIP”. I was leery that this was typical stripper BS, but it seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up. As it turned out it was an excellent opportunity and I had the best dances from that dancer I ever had and some of the best ever. But I never had such a good an experience with that dancer again. It was all timing. Some waitresses and dancers will watch other dancers and tell management when they are doing more than they should. If such a dancer is dancing at the next table, or the waitress waiting tables in your area is known to complain about dancers going too far, this will make your experience poorer. If the dancer hasn’t told you what was going on you would never know, you would just think you had a poor dance from a dancer that had an otherwise good reputation. And dancers are likely not to tell you in fear that you will stop buying dances, which you should, and that the next time you come in you will notice the offending dancer or waitperson in your area and not get dances then. Some dancers will suggest you move or go to the VIP to avoid this. Take the hint. Many, though, will just dial back your experience. There is no real effective way to deal with this, but if you got a poor dance from an otherwise usually good dancer, you may wish to move to a different part of the club with different wait staff or a table with fewer neighboring tables, like in a corner next to a wall.

There is a reluctance on many dancers parts to give great dances to strangers, or someone they have never seen in the club before, or someone who looks like he has never been in the club before. Not much you can do about this, except give the club a second chance and hope that someone recognizes you the second time around. Spending money the first time around helps. When in a new club, I usually sit down and observe for a bit before I get dances so I can see how things are in the club. Notice how tipping is done and follow suit, Things to look for, can you hand money directly to the dancer or do you need to place it on stage, can you touch at the stage, if you stay long at the stage are you expected to tip again, or if tipping is even done on stage or it the dancers walk around to receive a tip. Check to see who is giving the best table dances.See whether people get dances on the floor or in the VIP. See who gives the most VIP dances and how long they last. See if the dancers do anything consistent after the VIP dance, like heading to the bathroom or dressing room to freshen up. I have seen a dancer who gives very good VIP dances head for the hand sanitizer after a VIP session. Look to see if they have wait staff or if you have to get your own drink from the bar. Often dancers will ask if you have been in a club before and part of the reason for this is to make sure that you will not cause trouble. I usually say yes, even if I have not been before. Doing your homework on TUSCL helps to answer this question if it gets pushed further, which it doesn’t usually. If you don’t feel like outright lying, say no, but you have been to other clubs in the area. Again TUSCL is your friend. Or say you have, but it has been a long time.

Law Enforcement
There is also fear that a stranger may be law enforcement; not just vice, but also alcohol control commission. So, don’t act like a cop. Act like yourself, a horny strip club customer. If there is concern that law enforcement/alcohol enforcement is in the club, or is actually in the club, your experience will change a lot, and not for the better. Also, if there is fear that law enforcement may show up, like recent raids on other clubs or tightening of alcohol enforcement, your experience will diminish. Often this occurs shortly before or after local and state elections. There isn’t much to do about this though, except to try another time. Some clubs have signals, like playing a particular song or having the DJ make an announcement . Also, I have been in clubs where the housemother went around and told the dancers that LEO were in the club. So if you hear a suspicious song being played at an odd time, or an odd announcement being made, or someone making the rounds whispering something in the dancer’s ears, there may be law enforcement in the club. The dancers or club management may be reluctant to pass the information on to you as you will likely stop buying dances. At one club I went to the uniformed cops on the beat walked in the club and stood in the back for 10 or 15 minutes every couple of hours. I suppose they were on a break. Similarly, I have seen fire fighters stand in the back of a club, presumably to insure that the fire marshall’s occupancy limit is not exceeded. Those are obviously poor times to get a dance, although the dancer may tell you it doesn’t matter.

Time of visit
In many clubs, there is a big difference in the experience you get between the day shift and the evening/night shift, and between week days and weekends, The day shift is often populated by single mothers eager to make a buck quickly and you will often get a better experience then than with evening shift dancers. The night shift is often populated by prima donnas, who think that they may be doing you a favor by dancing for you and as usually the club is busy during the evening/night shift, they can get away with that attitude. Same with weekends, particularly Sunday afternoons and to a lesser extent Saturday afternoons. Those are slow times and dances are likely to be better. Anytime the club is less populated you are likely to get a better dance as there are fewer customers to make money from. Simple supply and demand. Shift changes and times near closing are also productive for good experiences as dancers who haven’t made as much money as they think they should have that night will stretch the limits to put more money in their wallets. If there is a feature dancer and you don’t care about seeing her, when the feature dancer dances is a good time to get a dance as most of the patrons are there to see the feature and the other dancers get ignored.

The time of month can drive your experience, and not just from a physiological standpoint. The times closer to when bills are due are usually good for a great experience. This is usually, but not always around the first of the month. Since strippers don’t usually plan ahead or budget very well, the days after the rent is due are more productive than those before. There is also a seasonal effect: September, back to school expenses for their kids, December, Christmas presents, and January, paying credit card bills, are all good bets to get a good strip club experience. I once had a stripper tell me that she had just bought $75 in candy for her son’s Easter basket and she needed to make the money to pay for it. Great dance from a normally good dancer followed.

Personalities and Quirks
Well, I am treading on thin ice here, but some dancers can change attitudes or personalities quite drastically. Usually over the course of days, weeks, or months, but sometimes just in hours or minutes. I am no amateur psychologist, but I suppose that not unexpected. People with unstable personalities are not usually good prospects for more typical jobs. Alcohol or drugs are sometimes involved. Not much you can do here, but be aware of it. I had great dances from a dancer if I bought her a drink first. She wasn’t drunk, just a bit uninhibited or grateful for the drink, I could never tell. On the other hand I have had dancers approach me that were high or drunk or both and I doubted that they could stay awake during a dance. Obviously avoid those. I have had poor dances from dancers that were angry, usually with management, husbands, day care, landlords, significant others, you name it. If you don’t know what happened, you would think they are always like that. I had a great dance from a dancer that had just gotten out of jail for a DWI. Just be aware of a dancer’s attitude and go with the one’s that are mellow. I have had great dances from dancers that said I reminded them of an ex-boyfriend, musician, or favorite teacher. I suppose reading up on Freud may help here.

Expectations
It doesn’t hurt to set expectations with a dancer before a dance, particularly a VIP dance. Ask what kind of experience you can expect. Ask why it will be different than the dance on the floor. ask what you can do during the dance and what she will do. If you have specific requests make them before you go VIP. If extras are offered, set a price up front. I try to invest in at least a single dance on the floor with a dancer before I go to the VIP room and try to get in some touching or more during that dance so that the dancer knows that I am open to more. But if you don’t make it clear to the dancer what you want, you are less likely to get it as she is just guessing at what you want and how far you want her to go. Often they guess correctly, but not always. Sometimes they will be hesitant to tell you what to expect, as they are afraid of getting into trouble, or you won’t go if she won’t do what you want, but if you sense it will be a good time otherwise, try her for a single dance and if it isn’t what you want call it quits. You will know better next time.

Hygiene
Hygiene is important. Dancers tend to avoid guys that are dirty or smell.Take a shower before you go and put on clean clothes. Brush your teeth and use mouth wash. Suck on a breathe mint. Similarly they don’t like to rub their bodies on dirty clothes. Or rough clothes for that matter, so don’t go in blue jeans or denim jeans. Common sense should prevail here. And it might not be you, it might be the guy you came in with. I have had dancers tell me that another customer smelled so bad she lied about having to go on stage to avoid giving him a second dance.

I am sure that I have missed a few points, but there are enough here to ponder for awhile. Also, I just forgot, some reviewers on TUSCL stretch the truth a bit, so they may not have had the experience they said they had.