How to meet up with TUSCLers, A Guide!
Muddy
USA
TUSCL has members from all over the USA, some members are so synonymous with the region/city they club in; shadowcat in Atlanta, lopaw in LA, Papi in Miami, Rick Dugan in Jacksonville, skibum in Providence, Subra in SF, Rogertex in Austin the list goes on and on. Maybe you thought to yourself, "How do I rub elbows with some of the great ones?" When on the road I and maybe you out there often wonder, how do I go about messaging these members to get them to hang out. It's not as easy as it's sounds. It's not just "hey man you wanna go to the club" no we have to complicate this. And maybe also you thought "Why would they want to hang out with me, when they are around so much pussy?" Well your absolutely right, Nobody wants to be anywhere near you, your fat and ugly. However luckily for you the TUSCLer who you are attempting to meet is likely fucking retarded. So he won't notice until he's already next to you getting lappers in the VIP. And if you really hit jackpot he just might reach over for you. Now if that ain't camaraderie then I don't what is.
First a little about me, I'll be honest I have absolutely no friends whatsoever. Well at least not human friends. There is this gopher that I named Jeffery that hangs out on the front lawn. Really friendly. You guys would love him. He makes a hissing sound at me every time I walk outside. Jeffery is the shit. Well anyway the point is that I am extremely lonely and desperate for human interaction God dammit. Thats where you all out there come in.
There is always the option of just not PMing those in the town your clubbing in at all. I've done this and just like relatives when your in town and don't call/visit, I catch hell after writing a review showing I was there.. "Muddy you were in town and didn't say hello WTF dude!!!!" Happens all the time. It’s not I didn't have the balls to tell them just I didn't know how to ask them. So I just give them the excuse that I had leprosy at the time. But that could only work so long.
Now I try to send PM's and the whole trick is figuring what to say. Guys are different then girls; we don't want to come off as gay.
This is what I WANT to say
"Hey _______ lets go out, get fucking hammered and then splash out semen all over the strip club! Then we can be friends forever!"
----Eh it's too much. Comes off as needy and slightly gay. Not gonna work. Next.
This is a more passive PM asking for recs in the area
"Hey ________ would you happen to have any club recommendations in the city"
-----I either get the club recommendations without a hangout or I get angrily referred to the reviews. Not direct or aggressive enough. Next.
More direct approach
"Hey________ get your shit together, I'm in town, We're going out. Beers on me. I don't want to hear it. We going. Tell the wife to fuck off"
----I like it but I get the feeling a lot of TUSCLers are going to think "Oh now cause he's in town, I have to go to the strip club? Fuck outta here" They might be right. It's too much, too aggressive. No not gonna work. Next.
Yes I've figured it out. The perfect PM. It's my recommendation (therefore the official TUSCL recommendation) behold.
"Hey I'm in town and I'm horny. Your move"
---It's perfect. Brief but powerful. Gets to the point quickly and you throw the ball in their court. Proactive without being too aggressive. This will get TUSCLers from all over the world to hang out with you. Guaranteed.
Lets also go over some of the common responses you may get in return. In my experience this is what I have encountered.
There is always being ignored after sending a PM. You can see it was read but no reply. How rude. I don't let it deter me.
There is always after messaging somebody they will reply with "Who the fuck are you?" Very common reply. It's simple, just send them a link to some of your best threads and reviews. Show them the narcissist you really are deep down. They will learn quick.
Sometimes these girls just can't enough, a recent PM in my inbox
"I will most definitely sleep with you Muddy, of course for a fee of...(Well for the sake of brevity we don't need to see the message we don't have all day here. Just know that I am highly desired.)
Whatever the response, stay positive and continue to message. I average about 50 messages to somebody I want to hang out with in the first hour. My theory is they can't ignore them all.
As far as members messaging you unprompted, well to be quite honest nobody has messaged yet. I usually check around twice a minute. In the meantime I'll be hanging out with Jeffery. See ya.
First a little about me, I'll be honest I have absolutely no friends whatsoever. Well at least not human friends. There is this gopher that I named Jeffery that hangs out on the front lawn. Really friendly. You guys would love him. He makes a hissing sound at me every time I walk outside. Jeffery is the shit. Well anyway the point is that I am extremely lonely and desperate for human interaction God dammit. Thats where you all out there come in.
There is always the option of just not PMing those in the town your clubbing in at all. I've done this and just like relatives when your in town and don't call/visit, I catch hell after writing a review showing I was there.. "Muddy you were in town and didn't say hello WTF dude!!!!" Happens all the time. It’s not I didn't have the balls to tell them just I didn't know how to ask them. So I just give them the excuse that I had leprosy at the time. But that could only work so long.
Now I try to send PM's and the whole trick is figuring what to say. Guys are different then girls; we don't want to come off as gay.
This is what I WANT to say
"Hey _______ lets go out, get fucking hammered and then splash out semen all over the strip club! Then we can be friends forever!"
----Eh it's too much. Comes off as needy and slightly gay. Not gonna work. Next.
This is a more passive PM asking for recs in the area
"Hey ________ would you happen to have any club recommendations in the city"
-----I either get the club recommendations without a hangout or I get angrily referred to the reviews. Not direct or aggressive enough. Next.
More direct approach
"Hey________ get your shit together, I'm in town, We're going out. Beers on me. I don't want to hear it. We going. Tell the wife to fuck off"
----I like it but I get the feeling a lot of TUSCLers are going to think "Oh now cause he's in town, I have to go to the strip club? Fuck outta here" They might be right. It's too much, too aggressive. No not gonna work. Next.
Yes I've figured it out. The perfect PM. It's my recommendation (therefore the official TUSCL recommendation) behold.
"Hey I'm in town and I'm horny. Your move"
---It's perfect. Brief but powerful. Gets to the point quickly and you throw the ball in their court. Proactive without being too aggressive. This will get TUSCLers from all over the world to hang out with you. Guaranteed.
Lets also go over some of the common responses you may get in return. In my experience this is what I have encountered.
There is always being ignored after sending a PM. You can see it was read but no reply. How rude. I don't let it deter me.
There is always after messaging somebody they will reply with "Who the fuck are you?" Very common reply. It's simple, just send them a link to some of your best threads and reviews. Show them the narcissist you really are deep down. They will learn quick.
Sometimes these girls just can't enough, a recent PM in my inbox
"I will most definitely sleep with you Muddy, of course for a fee of...(Well for the sake of brevity we don't need to see the message we don't have all day here. Just know that I am highly desired.)
Whatever the response, stay positive and continue to message. I average about 50 messages to somebody I want to hang out with in the first hour. My theory is they can't ignore them all.
As far as members messaging you unprompted, well to be quite honest nobody has messaged yet. I usually check around twice a minute. In the meantime I'll be hanging out with Jeffery. See ya.
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8 comments
I missed the chapter in my copy of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" where it suggested that insulting the people who you are looking to meet was a winning strategy. Also speak for yourself on the ugly front - I'm as handsome as the day is long. 😉
But shit, if you were covering the bar tab for the night, I might not only meet up with you but even introduce you to a solid piece of stripper ass to bring back to your hotel. But you'd better come prepared as I only drink Jack and it takes more than a few doubles to round my night out, lol.
A short PM saying I'll be in town x-day, Interested in meeting you at Club (abc or xyz) have worked for me in meeting 8 or so tuscl members.
I see you travel. A lot. I travel some too.
Next time I'm out of town, I'll hit you up. Maybe you'll be in the same?
I'll be sure to send 50 messages every time.
I'm sure sooner or later we'll be in the same town.
Bring Jeffrey. The girls will love him.