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AnonymousJim

Scanning the room from the back

It's the ultimate moment of freedom: For one reason or another, you're headed out of town, without a wife or kids, for however much time. Sure, there's business to do, or family to meet, or whatever. But you're also a monger and you know you're going to have some time to yourself at night.

You check TUSCL and find the best clubs in town, or you know where they are from previous visits. As an experienced monger, you also know where things can go, and you're lucky enough on this trip to have your own hotel room.

An escort is an option, sure, but they're hit-or-miss at best. Plus, you know this town's club reputation. You make up your mind -- you're going out. And in the back of your mind, you have a goal: See if you can't make that night more worthwhile.

For the most part, any trip to a club has nothing but positives for everything but your wallet and sobriety. But when you go to a town where ITC isn't necessarily an option, but OTC might be on the table, there's gotta be a part of you that wants to give it a shot.

Over time, you learn there are challenges. If you're perusing the articles section of this site, it's fair to assume you've done your share of mongering in or around your hometown. Maybe you're a regular, or at least a semi-regular, in that you're not one of the guys hanging out in the club everyday, but you've been seen enough with your every-so-often habit that a few dancers and a few bouncers know who you are. Maybe you've tried OTC in your town and not had success, or only rare success. Maybe something keeps you from securing it, like your living situation. But then you get to go on the road, and that opens up a new opportunity.

As I'm about to embark on my "travel season" again, I've been thinking about what all goes into OTC when I'm on the road. I've had a couple road successes with OTC, but I'm not going to say it's the easiest thing in the world to make happen. In some ways, being on the road helps you. In other ways, it doesn't. In this article, I want to discuss both.

Let's start with the ...

HURDLES

1. YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR TO THE DANCERS. This is probably the biggest hurdle, though it can also be somewhat of an advantage. Nonetheless, if you're going someplace you don't usually visit, trying to get a professional dancer from "Hello, I'm Jim" to in bed with you in one night isn't the easiest thing. There are some who might make the case it will be easier to do this with a non-stripper at a regular bar than at a club on the road, but the risk/reward is also higher. If there's no women you're interested in at the regular bar, or none who want to go back to your room, you wasted a night. If the same thing happens at a strip club, at least you probably got to see naked women and get lap dances, which is better than just being at some bar.

When you're unfamiliar, there's going to be fear on the dancer's part: Fear you might be anything from undercover LE or a club operative trying to weed out such activities to a traveling psycho killer. When you've shown up a few times before, it's a lot easier to ease that fear.

Nonetheless, you're probably going to have to spend some time with a dancer you make an OTC target letting her know you're somewhat trustworthy. I usually like to stay at a nicer hotel and mention both that I'm from out of town and where I'm staying very early on in the conversation. Later on, I might even show a room key or an ID to prove I'm not lying. Also, when activities start, or are being discussed, make it known you will be nothing but safe. Not only do you want her to know you're not out to randomly give her a disease or impregnate her, you don't want to get a random disease or randomly impregnate someone in a strange part of the country, lest you really want to make your own life miserable. Use the word 'condom' as you talk about how you insist upon using one for any sort of straight-up intercourse.

Your unfamiliarity to the dancer is a big hurdle, sure, as trust is usually the biggest hurdle to getting any woman to sleep with you. But you have to try and allay it to make it happen.

2. YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE AREA. Sure, you can try and do research on TUSCL and whatnot, but there are still things that might happen that will make you nervous because you're not at home.

Is this the kind of club where a dancer can go to a bouncer if she gets the wrong kind of OTC question and get you kicked out (or worse)? How do you know the dancer isn't a psycho who will rob or kill you? Where do the cops hang out? In one OTC meeting, a dancer told me to meet her at a nearby gas station. Sure enough, there was LE parked on one side of the station's lot when I got there, which I will admit, freaked me out. (The dancer later tried to assure me the cops won't do anything in that town, but it still made me feel uneasy.)

Ultimately, you have to be willing to shoulder some of these risks. Again, some conversation with the dancer first should be done to make sure she doesn't seem like the crazy killer type, as well as to let her know you're a nice-enough guy that she would feel bad about getting you kicked out of the club if you simply implied you wanted to take good chemistry further. Also, just be discreet with the whole process. It's just the best way to go.

3. YOU'LL HAVE TO HAVE MONEY ON YOU. A lot of folks are understandably leery about carrying a lot of cash on the road. Assuming this is going to be some sort of P4P situation, you'll have to have that much cash on you.

You probably don't want to make it obvious to anyone except your OTC target that you're looking to do OTC. And you should be as smart with having that much money on you as you always would be. If you can get the dancer back to your hotel room, hide any money you're not planning on spending or anything you're not willing to have stolen. If the room has a safe, use it.

Note that you should never "pay in advance." That's a sure way to get ripped off. A down payment might be fine -- say, enough for tip out. But there's always an inevitable chance she can leave you in the lurch at one point or another. If you're paying more than a few dances worth before you walk out of the club with no return, you're taking a huge risk. Anything at or over $100 strikes me as too much, and you might set your bar lower than that, depending on what you negotiate for the fee.

Speaking of negotiations ...

4. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE SUBTLE AND WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO NEGOTIATE. Most dancers don't have a set fee for such activities -- they'll take as much as they can get. Know the going rates. Start low. There will be a satisfactory number you'll reach eventually. Remember, anything she gets is more than she had before, so there's always a "take it or get nothing" option available to you, though she certainly might be OK with nothing if you low-ball too much.

Such negotiation, and even any initial communication about the possibility, has to be on the down-low, though. I have found that dancers who are open to OTC usually are conscious of where cameras and staff are located. One once talked to me about it in terms of the opera and different seating areas -- for a better experience, you have to pay more, she said, to which we talked about "ticket prices" and "areas of the theatre." This is the game you have to play.

5. THE GIRL YOU LIKED IN THE CLUB MIGHT NOT BE ONE YOU LIKE OUTSIDE IT. OTC experiences can sometimes be less than stellar. I had one woman who wanted to go to the casino first after we clubbed. I sensed she wanted to basically give me the value of anything both she and I gambled with (from my money) and won back. Guess what -- we lost big and I ended up just being a loser that night. With the opera woman, she was fun and flirty in the club, but she wanted me to be rougher with her than I was comfortable with outside of it, then kind of made me become her amateur psychologist as she proceeded to spend a lot of teary-eyed time talking about how hard she has to work to make a better future for her daughter, all the while clearing out the room's pricey minibar.

Again, try to get the feel for the personality. Sometimes, if she's hot enough, it's worth the risk. But take a critical eye from the start and try to catch any flaws before they magnify later.

6. THE CLING FACTOR. There's a healthy amount of bullshit in the strip club world. Given you're talking to girls who may be using a fake name, accent, set of interests, set of boobs and level of interest in you, I don't blame you if you temporarily change your job title, age, marital status or other facts about yourself while you're in the club. But I'm not the type who lies about where an OTC visit might go.

Maybe you can keep going if the girl starts implying that she'd like to go out with you again sometime, or wants your Facebook info or phone number or whatever. But even well away from home, when I start to sense a girl wants me to be more of a boyfriend than a one-night, NSA screw, I bail on trying to make her an OTC target as much as I can. Maybe that means moving onto another dancer or even a fake phone number and moving onto another club. In the age of social media and everything being online, it's too easy for such a dancer to find you and potentially make your life miserable.

7. YOU. So let's say you get through all of that -- she's hot, she's willing, the price is right and she shows up. You've gotten past your unfamiliarity with her and the area, avoided LE and any club staff, and made sure you've got everything set. Now ... having done all that, and thought it all through, can you perform? Or will the whole thing coming together become too much pressure to make the money you're spending, her time and all the work worth it?

I'll be honest -- I like to get myself in the right place mentally during the whole process. You have to stay relaxed on such trips. If I start to get anxious about any piece, I remind myself I don't have to OTC, will save some money if I don't, and can just enjoy the normal club experience. When you see anything extra that happens as a bonus, you're often in a much better place.

OK, so those are the hurdles. Now let's talk about what's fun, beyond the obvious (the NSA one-night stand):

ADVANTAGES

1. YOU'RE AWAY FROM HOME AND WHAT YOU USUALLY ARE. Let's say you've swung and missed a few times with OTC, or women in general, back at home. Guess what? The road is a chance to make changes to your game. Maybe it's a new haircut or outfit. Maybe it's a different approach. If it doesn't work, there are more girls and more clubs out there. Leave your mistakes on the road. This is your chance to run game. This is where the unfamiliarity probably helps. I don't think you can fake it if you're going to the same club every few weeks. But on a one-time trip? Why not?

2. YOU MIGHT OUTCLASS THE USUAL CLIENTELE. I'm assuming that you're putting yourself together fairly well when you go out to make these efforts -- dressing nicely, smelling good, all of that. You don't want to look out of place in doing this -- a guy in a businessman's suit in a country bar is going to be a sore thumb. But the dancer wants to feel like she's landing the guy who not only has a good chance of being the best spender there, but maybe even the best lay.

I usually like to make it clear I'm a step or two above most of the rest of the guys. I find that helps my chances.

3. YOU CAN ALWAYS CUT BAIT. You have the money so you're in control. If you don't like the direction something is going, you can move on and don't even have to worry about the optics of doing so. I try to at least be somewhat polite, but I also try to make sure I don't waste my own or the dancer's time in the "getting to know you" process. Plus, on the road, you don't have to worry about potentially seeing that dancer again and having awkward moments. Such situations are why I occasionally abandon a few clubs near my home for weeks, months or years at a time.

4. WORST CASE SCENARIO, IT'S JUST ANOTHER NIGHT AT THE CLUB. I mentioned this above, but it's true: A night of a few beers and some lappers is better than a night in the hotel room staring at the ceiling, so remember that anything that happens is a plus.

5. YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING OR DO SOMETHING YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D GET TO DO. Always been attracted to a girl of a certain ethnicity or with a certain color hair, but have never gotten to get with one? Here's your chance. Had a particular act you haven't had the chance to do? Depending on what it is, it might cost you a little more, but maybe you'll finally find someone who will do it. (FWIW, I carry suitable lube for just such a situation on the road, though I haven't had the chance to use it yet -- and yes, giving and not receiving and with a woman, before you start making cracks about it. And yes, I said cracks, which is a pun.)

In all, if you don't have any moral hangups about such things and decide to give it a shot on your next club road trip, I not only can't blame you but say, "Enjoy." Yes, bad things can happen if you're not careful, but if you are, the worst you can hear is "No" and get some lappers. The best that can happen: You end up sticking it in every possible hole with someone fun and you both just say it was one fun night and move on. That sounds like a good time to me.