tuscl

How To Ask For "Extra's" at the Strip Club

Tuesday, September 1, 2015 12:00 AM
I originally wrote this article for my website www.dirtydianasdiary.com but it's a question I get asked A LOT so I thought I'd share it here on tuscl. It sounds like a simple question of etiquette but it's actually much more complicated. Here are the fine points. Be clear about what you want. You want to be polite and respectful but not vague. Make sure that you know what you want before you start talking. Do you want a particular girl to meet you for dinner? Do you want sex? Do you want it inside the club or outside? Are you willing to pay her and if so, how much? If you are looking for sex, just say so. If you are paranoid about a law enforcement situation, you can use a euphemism like, "Do you do private parties?" or "Would you be interested in doing a dance outside the club?" The answer will likely be "no" but the question won't offend the dancer. If you're too vague, the dancer will assume you're just trying to ask her out and unless you're Ryan Gosling, she will be annoyed. Be prepared to pay. A lot. You know what's insulting? Being undervalued. Do not offer her an insulting amount of money to leave the club and give you a blow job. Whether she would be willing to or not, at least show her that you would value the experience. Maybe you're not looking for a blow job. Maybe you just want a little extra contact in the V.I.P. In that case tip her on the front end. Guys are always promising us more money if we "do more" and they are always full of shit. Tip her a $20 each time you see her on stage. Tip her an extra 30-50% of what the dance you're buying costs before she starts dancing. All women like to feel appreciated and in the strip club, money is how you communicate appreciation. If she feels like you appreciate it, she will likely give you more than the minimum requirement. Keep in mind that this is a gamble, and don't get pissed off if you don't get what you want. You don't have to keep buying dances from that particular girl. You can try someone else. Pick an experienced stripper. Look for a dancer with a couple of years under her belt. You don't get an employee handbook when you get hired at the strip club so most strippers walk around clueless for the first little bit. Don't take it personal. At most clubs I've worked at the girls are not allowed to do OTC dances. Even though lots of dancers do it, it's pretty taboo. Keep that in mind and don't take it personally if the dancer declines to meet you anywhere but inside the club she works. Don't be pushy. Women in general, including strippers, will do surprising things when they feel truly comfortable with you. You will never go wrong if you focus *genuinely* on making her feel comfortable and safe.

12 comments

  • Papi_Chulo
    9 years ago
    Men are from Mars and women are form Venus – i.e. we often see most things differently and often as far as 180 degrees apart – we are often wired differently thus process and view things quite differently. w.r.t. “undervaluing a dancer” - let's say the dancers in a particular area or club will usually have sex for $300 (as an example) – for the dancers that do this all the time; they take $300 w/ no fuss; for the dancers that does it sparingly; she thinks she deserves b/w $500 and $1000 or else “she feels undervalued” - why is s customer going to pay 2x+ b/c the dancer thinks she deserves it – if there are other dancers willing to do it for the going-rate then why would a custy feel compelled to overpay in order not to make the dancer “feel undervalued” – i.e. when it comes to sex from dancers; a custy can get quotes from $200 to $1000; why would he choose the $1000 option if he can get what he wants for $300. w.r.t tipping extra – it sometimes feels as if most dancers think custies have a stack of $$$ 4 feet high in their house – that we have unlimited funds and don't have responsibilities such as children; mortgages; car payments; college payments; etc – dancers come across as if a custy does not have a right to to hold on to his $$$ and spend as he sees fit – strip clubs are expensive as it is – lap-dances in most places are $20+ for about 3 minutes of entertainment that fly by – add to that overpriced drinks; cover charge; etc; and a SC visit is a big hit to the average guy's wallet (and most SC goers are average guys; not independently wealthy guys). A tip is to be earned not paid up front ahead of time since you yourself mentioned is no guarantee you'll get any better service; thus the tip should be post-dances once the proper service has been rendered – most of us that have SCed for a while have gotten burned by a dancer at one time or another; so precautions w/ one's $$$ are def in order – e.g. a couple of weeks ago I struck up a convo w/ a custy at a local SC; he was relating me a story how he went w/ a dancer to VIP where they had both agreed to have sex – he gives the $$$ to the dancer and she bolts out of the room w/ his $$$ and the douchebag management said there was nothing they could do – I know I know – you are not that way and most dancers “are not that way” - ok – but it does happen - dancers trying to outright rip-off custies is part-and-parcel of the biz and thus why you don't pay upfront hoping to get a bone. I find it interesting how dancers think customers should be as generous w/ their $$$ as possible – it strikes me as interesting b/c these same dancers often seem to be super tight w/ their own $$$ where many will flip if you by chance underpay them by just $5 – and many a dancer does not want to pay for shit in the club; they want drinks; food; cigarettes; etc; all bought for them; so they seem to have one view of a customer's $$$ (spend spend spend it all) and a different view of their $$$ (it's mine mine mine). SCing is like shopping – when a woman goes shopping; she usually has a set amount she can spend or is willing/able to spend – thus she will not buy everything in the store nor the first thing she sees nor what a salesperson is trying to push on her – she will buy what she wants; when she wants; and at a price/value she thinks is fair – she will try to find the best value and not overpay. The SC custy is similar – he has a set amount he is able to spend and he will spend it on whom he likes and how he likes; not on the first dancer that walks up to him nor spend how a dancer wants him to spend it – dancers spend their $$$ how they see fit; so should custies in the SC.
  • Mistah_Fetti_Morbuxxx
    9 years ago
    "w.r.t tipping extra – it sometimes feels as if most dancers think custies have a stack of $$$ 4 feet high in their house – that we have unlimited funds and don't have responsibilities such as children; mortgages; car payments; college payments; etc" Exactly my thoughts. For some reason many of them fail to understand that. There are WAY more blue-collar middle class workers than the high dollar white-collar whales. I agree with Papi 100% (Words of PL Wisdom)
  • jackslash
    9 years ago
    Good observations, Papi.
  • carlos_spiceyweiner
    9 years ago
    The poster makes some interesting points, but I'm siding with Papi. I have a lot more money than I did when I started clubbing, but I'm a lot tighter with it. Time and experience has taught me that the dancers who ask for the most never deliver an experience worth the price. Papi's also right about the view dancers have that we're all made of money that we should be showering on them just for the "privilege" of sharing fleeting minutes. This is a business. I'm there for my own pleasure, not to fulfill someone's else idea of her self worth. When you're putting a monetary value on yourself and your time, you have to get used to the fact that you're going to get called on it. Nothing person, it's business. I have bills to pay too. Still, thanks for posting the article. It's nice to see new content.
  • chessmaster
    9 years ago
    I agree for the most except where you said to tip the dancers up front. I agree with papi in this regard. I don't like to tip up front for the reasons already stated, but I will tip 40-50% of the cost of the lap dance(s) after if I felt she "earned" it.
  • shrinkingviolet
    9 years ago
    I don't disagree with Papi's overall viewpoint. In my understanding though, the $20/dance is referred to as a tip purely for legal purposes. Dancers make no base wage like servers or bartenders. In all practicality, it's the cost of the service.
  • san_jose_guy
    9 years ago
    DianasDiary, Thank you for your article and for joining TUSCL too. Your web page with your pictures is a real treat. Your club is right near this Piedmont Triad Airport. I'd noticed before that there are strip clubs there. I'm sure there are nice motels too. I've read very little written by strippers, or Nevada brothel workers, which is not primarily just telling guys to be ready to pay more. Whatever. I understand your point that most girls don't routinely do OTC, and that the club can't have their noses rubbed in it, or see girls coming and going. But as far as the rest of your message, I don't go along with it. I don't go along with the concept of 'extras', and negotiating service for a fee is never something I would intentionally do. It only happens as a worst case last resort when wires keep getting crossed and so nothing is happening and the girl is insisting that it must be discussed. So otherwise I don't ask for 'extras'. I don't talk about 'extras'. I don't think about 'extras'. Why I don't go along with the 'extras' approach, and why I always treat all women as civilians, in all situations, no exceptions: [view link] You wrote this, "Women in general, including strippers, will do surprising things when they feel truly comfortable with you. You will never go wrong if you focus *genuinely* on making her feel comfortable and safe. " Of course this I agree with fully, and so I never worry about what girls do or don't do, because I am not asking for service. And never have I asked one, "Do you do ......?" What she does with other people is absolutely none of my business. And also it is irrelevant, because all that is going to matter is what happens between she and I. I do though decline the verbal 'wanna dance' offers. Either the girl loosens up in the front room with me, or nothing further happens, at least not inside of the club. Front room fraternizing money is fine with me. But I see no reason to go with a girl into a booth or back room until things have already gotten extremely friendly. If she wants to get friendly, she will demonstrate this, not talk about it, in the front room. I learned this after first seeing, and then analyzing, how Deja Vu ruined the San Francisco lap dancing scene, and turned the places into clip joints. Then I also learned at this underground circuit of table dancing shows in San Jose Mexican bars. The girls just do, they don't talk about it or ask permission. They just do it, and then indicate that they want money. Most guys will keep feeding them money and playing along with them. It is all tremendous fun. Also the Latina girls really treat guys well. There was a core group which I call The Beloved Latina Escorts. Any time spent with one of them is exquisite. Very easy to escalate front room interactions with them. Again, thank you for joining TUSCL and posting. We need more female members and regular posters. It really does improve the quality of this forum. So please do keep on posting. Your replies will be appreciated on all of our threads. SJG [view link] Chaka Khan [view link]
  • Player11
    9 years ago
    I simply make them an offer between $100 and $200. But in most instances they will proposition me or simply unzip my pants and go to work especially in an extras club. The price should be negotiated before any penetration. Just lay two bens on the table, it will be hard for them to resist. If going to vip I tell them "how much is everything (FS)?" or "do you play." Or after a couple of dances I suggest a notel the next day "why don't we meet for some relaxation fun at x notel." Be sure and negotiate the price beforehand. In Houston $200 is the magic number most of the time whether strippers or sugar babies. However, doing one on regular basis a hobbyist can get the price down to $120. When they pressure me at some high price saying the need x or they will be evicted I simply offer $100 per session and if we do it all week it all adds up. Its better to get a stripper than itc where your on their turf and they can get away with overcharging you for a lousy fuck.
  • Dain
    9 years ago
    Tip beforehand? That's stupid. I would never buy anything unknown for over one cent.
  • BigPoppa99
    9 years ago
    ;) A stripper herself, once gave me great advice. She said to show them the cash up front- but not to give it to them, until after they performed the agreed upon service. A two fold occurs. One- the stripper knows you have the cash and are not going to rip them off. And, two. You have protection, just in case services were not rendered.
  • Estafador
    9 years ago
    wish a woman would make a how to successfully flirt and get digits article. All this paying for sex has GOT to be a real burner on the wallet. And the morale, but maybe that part is just me.
  • Cashman1234
    8 years ago
    I think her initial post was well written - but her advice seems intended to milk more money from customers. I found Papi's post to be much more accurate and useful. Tip before a dance? Give the dancer a price that's higher than expected? These are things that would make a car salesman LDK! "No - that MSRP is too low for that Ford Escort! I'll pay an additional $5,000 - for the one without air-conditioning!"
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