tuscl

Dating a Stripper

hotwheels
Minnesota
Wednesday, May 28, 2014 12:00 AM
I have been going to strip clubs occasionally for a long time since things haven't been so great with my wife. A few years ago I was at a club in the LA area (I was on business travel) and this really hot blonde and I traded numbers. She wanted to have coffee with me the next day and I was into the idea for sure. So coffee kind of morphed into meeting at my hotel on Century near LAX and we ended up having mind blowing sex for pretty much the entire night. The next morning, I was ready to tip her and she subtly implied she would like that and so I did tip her about $800.00. After that things really weren't going well with my wife and we ended up meeting every month or two. This went on for a couple of years and she started telling me she loved me but she kept having other boyfriends which really pissed me off. I knew it was irrational for me to care about this because I didn't even want to have an exclusive relationship but it still bothered me. I was encouraging her to go continue with the junior college she was in and was paying for DMV stuff etc. I really was hoping she would get her shit together. She came from a background in which her father abused her. What I was giving her was not a lot of money for me and it was definitely something she really needed. But unfortunately she started getting less interested in sex the more she got attached to me. But her life kind of kept going down. I think part of the problem was that she was old enough (she is 38 and I am 56) that she could not work as a stripper anymore and that was her only income. About 6 months ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce, which by this time was kind of a relief for both of us. Interestingly this had nothing to do with infidelity. I was really careful about keeping my stripper/mistress relationship private and I think my wife really was past the point of caring anyway. I know I was. So now I am telling my stripper/mistress I am done with helping her financially. That feels really good. I have met a lot of other strippers and considered starting a relationship so my take on this that many of them are wounded people to begin with. Also, they have grown up trading sex for intimacy and money. So be ready for that. So if you have a relationship with a stripper (I won't count it out), you have to stay strong and keep it arms length. Watch out for the drama. The drama with the girl I dated was pretty over the top. Get ready to be submitted to all the female BS and doubletalk you can possibly imagine. But the sex can be mindblowing. Oh yeah. One more thing. Make your stripper GF give take an STD test at least every 6 months and give you a copy. She is having sex with other guys.

50 comments

  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    If they say I never loved you You know they are a liar Drivin' down your freeway Midnight alleys roam Cops in cars, The topless bars Never saw a woman... So alone, so alone
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    Yeah I feel bad for her. But at the same time she was not there for me. I am sure of that. She did love me and she still does (I have a text from her right now) but she totally does not did not know how to make a man feel wanted. But when she gave herself to me it was in a way that was so complete, so fundamental it was scary. She would lie on top of me or wrap her body into mine in a way that is beyond description really. Haunting me forever I think.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    I mean what do you do with someone who completely and totally and clearly cares about you with more intensity and clarity than anyone has ever cared about you before but she can't clean up her apartment and she never even gives you a card on your birthday.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    I mean what do you do with someone who completely and totally and clearly cares about you with more intensity and clarity than anyone has ever cared about you before but she can't clean up her apartment and she never even gives you a card on your birthday.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    I mean what do you do with someone who completely and totally and clearly cares about you with more intensity and clarity than anyone has ever cared about you before but she can't clean up her apartment and she never even gives you a card on your birthday.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    Interesting story but one that is common and well known to most of us hobbyists that interact on this board regularly – your “dating a stripper” story and its issues it’s kinda the norm and most of us have heard countless stories on here about them and some of us have experienced them ourselves. Having a stripper not having her shit together is kind of the norm rather than the exception – when dealing with strippers one cannot afford to give them the benefit of the doubt – it’s best to assume that dealing with them on a personal level will bring a high level of drama and instability – better to see it this way and hopefully be proved o/w (but the o/w is hardly ever the case). It’s best to keep it p4p – i.e. as a “business relationship” and not get personally or emotionally involved – almost every time one cannot help them improve their lives b/c they are unwilling or unable to do it themselves - and in the end they often end up turning the guy’s life upside down if he gets too involved.
  • Jsj2870
    •
    10 years ago
    You said, “I have met a lot of other strippers and considered starting a relationship so my take on this that many of them are wounded people to begin with. Also, they have grown up trading sex for intimacy and money.” Seeing this from the inside, I must say sadly many dancers are wounded people, but not all, but going to a strip club thinking you will find a wife is like going to a gold mine thinking you will find a diamond. It is possible, but highly unlikely. As a dancer, we are suppose to sell a fantasy, not the actual goods, however as adults, I understand feelings may arise especially if you have a customer that you see on the regular and there is a mutual attraction and connection. However, as you stated it is always best to keep business….BUSINESS! That saying should not apply to the strip club scene either, any business. I see first hand what happens when relationships in the office go sour. It is never pretty.
  • LMN
    •
    10 years ago
    Were you paying her for sex the whole time? Thats not really "dating", per se, if so.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    I think sex is part of the fantasy if and only if she agrees and shakes your hand. On the other hand, a sex-less fantasy is also part of the deal, it's just a matter of minds will meet and how the hands will shake. Both cases they are considered business.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    I wasn't looking for a wife! And if I was I wouldn't be looking at a strip club. I was looking for some very hot sex and in that sense I was not disappointed at all. The rest of it took a lot of fortitude to put up with. I was able to keep it in per spective but buyer beware. If you are a caring person the drama can be a bit over the top.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    What is a hobbiest anyway? I go to strip clubs because it is easy to share a drink with a sexy half naked woman, and if I get lucky we might meet outside the club and have sex. Is that a hobbiest?
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    hotwheels: "So now I am telling my stripper/mistress I am done with helping her financially." Sounds like he wasn't paying her, just "helping her financially". :-)
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    You are right. Call it what you want I was helping her with money. I have no regrets about this. She needed the help and I got what I was looking for.
  • skibum609
    •
    10 years ago
    Guess what folks? If you're paying her, its not a relationship.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    You are completely wrong about that. What do you think marriage is? Women fall for men who support them financially every day.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    You must be in your 20s. Be careful. Guys like you get taken advantage of.
  • LMN
    •
    10 years ago
    Many relationships are indeed based on a symbiotic relationship of finances and sex. Still, it sounds like you were just straight up paying her for the sex which doesn't really differentiate this from standard p4p and you titled this article "dating a stripper." sounds like her hustle was being romantic and saying she loved you.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    hotwheels: "You are completely wrong about that. What do you think marriage is? Women fall for men who support them financially every day. " Ah, the classic rationalization. Do people who say this really believe it, and can't see the difference or do they know they are just trying to fool others in hopes of fooling themselves?
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    Well it took her about a year before she told me she loved me. So I am not sure it was a "straight up hustle". We definitely had good chemistry. You can't fake that.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    As for love dating and money I used to be a lot more romantic and idealistic about that than I am now at 56. Women mix love and economic opportunity instinctively. It comes a lot more naturally to them than it
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    Than it does to us. Ask any married guy who has lost his job.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Wow, hats off to you for having a relationship with a stripper for a number of years. Must have been one heck of a relationship.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    Hmmm. Maybe it sounded like I was boasting about it? The sex was really hot a lot of the time. So yeah dude, that part was really cool. But overall I am not sure I would repeat it. It was a mixed bag for sure. I was going through a slow dissolution of my 20 year marriage at the time, so I guess you could say it was replacing something that I wasn't getting at home. But no, it wasn't fulfilling in a way that was lasting. And the more entangled I got with this girl's life, which was not so great, the more stressful it was for me.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    I sense that some of you divide women into two categories. Those who are P4P and those who are serious relationship material. I see it on more of a continuous spectrum. For centuries men with resources have had concubines and mistresses and those relationships involved more than just exchange of money. Both sides were able to draw emotional sustenance from each other, and could be sort of what we can "in love". Our culture idealizes romantic love and so you don't see many mistresses around today. But I think there is room for relationships that are more casual in nature, sometimes involve the exchange of money, and are emotional and physical. In my particular situation my stripper GF and I were definitely emotionally involved. And as the individual with the more resources in the relationship I was happy to help her out financially. If you want to call that P4P I am fine with that. I am just trying to lay things out there like they happened for me. I am about to stop helping her financially and I am very interested to see if she dumps me. If anyone would like to weigh in on this we can do a little survey and I will report the results in a couple of months. Question: Will my stripper/mistress/gf of four years dump me when I stop paying her DMV etc. bills?
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    ^^^yes, she will "dump" you once you stop paying her.
  • GCMan
    •
    10 years ago
    Lol.....news flash if you pay a stripper to sleep with you it's not the same thing as being in a marriage with a woman that drains you financially. If you were to stop giving your stripper gf money would she still be there to give you the "hot" sex you were searching for? If the answer is no then you weren't dating. You were paying for her companionship, friendship, and pussy. Not a bad thing if you can afford it but best to know and understand. Just be glad you have some money left and go find yourself a "hot" woman that you don't have to pay for the two of you to meet !
  • skibum609
    •
    10 years ago
    Women are a financial drain? I'm taking a 6 month sabbatical from work and wife is a medical professional, so who is a drain on whom?
  • mroo
    •
    10 years ago
    You don't date strippers, you date people. Pigeonholing people based on what they do to earn a living is pointless and unfair to the other person. You aren't dating this person, you're using her services as a prostitute.
  • RockyWilly
    •
    10 years ago
    Very interesting
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    Well I kind of liked the idea of dating a stripper and I still do. And since this is a strip club website, I am going to take the liberty of calling her a stripper because that is what this discussion board is about, strippers and strip clubs. We are not talking love and relationship support group here. And yes, she was also a person and I always treated her like a person ie: with respect and kindness. I am just calling her a stripper here OK? We had a lot of fun together, I helped her with her bills, and to me it was a lot more honest relationship than the one I had with my wife. See, my wife and I got married because we were "in love". Well in the end it turned out that the love part kind of wore a little thin. And when that happened I started to understand a little more deeply what was going on. See, she married me because I came from a family with some money, I went to a good college and I had good prospects. I am not saying she didn't actually love me, or we didn't get along or weren't in love because we were. There was just other stuff going on in the background that I was not really getting. In the end she left me because my salary didn't rise high enough for her to quit her job which she really wanted to do. She wanted to have a career as an artist. She told me I wasn't supportive enough and I was too worried about our finances. But we didn't have enough money because we sent our kids to private school, took nice vacations, etc and these were things which were her ideas! Ironically, in the end, it was her job that made it easy for her to walk out on our marriage. And to complicate things a bit further here, I don't have any regrets. My wife is a fine person in most ways and she was a great mother to our children. We are still close and we are good friend. And once she pulled the plug, I was ready to go along. To all of you young men out there that think marriage is about love, you are being very naive. Women are a lot more practical than that. Be careful.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    And as for the guy who is taking a sabbactical and living off his medical professional wife,,if you can pull this off more power to you. This is not the type of relationship that usually lasts very long however. Women like it when the men bring home the goods. This programmed very deeply into their brains
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Question: Will my stripper/mistress/gf of four years dump me when I stop paying her DMV etc. bills? Answer: You just don't think about it because if one simple concept which is called Schroedinger's cat ( [view link] ). In my case, I just take day-to-day. What I did was turn the situation to something she would not like and see how she reacts. Did that last week and it turns out she adjusted to the new reality. Interesting to note we are still together. So, what's the tentative observed behavior here? It could be she made the decision to stick around no matter what. See link below for my points. 1) [view link] Why do us women let men treat us like shit and still stick around to take more later? 2) [view link] Why do women stick around with men who treat them like crap?!?!? Bugs me sooo bad!
  • GoVikings
    •
    10 years ago
    ^ good read alabegonz....thanks for posting!
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    Yeah, that was insightful Thanks for the post alabegonz. Humans are complicated and there is definitely a story on both the male side and the female side that makes sense, even though often those stories are very different. My response, when dealing with a partner in this kind of situation is to remember a couple of choice phrases from Wittgenstein. "If a lion could speak, we would not understand him" Which for me leads to another Wittgenstein quote. "Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent" I have tried to talk things through many times with the women in my life and sometimes it is better to just let go of it and act. I think they appreciate that more anyway.
  • cyclops65
    •
    10 years ago
    I have had a few lunch dates with a stripper---nothing serious yet but the recent comment about the birthday made me chuckle. I had another date with her a few days before my birthday and she started the date by handing me a card, wishing me a happy birthday and said "Lunch is on me today" It was a nice and welcome surprise--and it was a upper level restaurant too, not fast food. She is similar to that age too, and I'm not sure where this may lead, but right now I'm taking it one day at a time.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "Lunch is on me today" You should marry her, bro. I think she is the rarest ones out there. To me, that's proof positive she is not dysfunctional.
  • anonymous99
    •
    10 years ago
    I usually try to stay out of things like this, but this time I have to say something. "So if you have a relationship with a stripper (I won't count it out), you have to stay strong and keep it arms length. Watch out for the drama. The drama with the girl I dated was pretty over the top. Get ready to be submitted to all the female BS and doubletalk you can possibly imagine. But the sex can be mindblowing. Oh yeah. One more thing. Make your stripper GF give take an STD test at least every 6 months and give you a copy. She is having sex with other guys." That is one of the most ignorant and idiotic things I have ever seen on this site. Are you aware that the girl working at the local Target or Walgreens could cheat on you a thousand times and give you an STD???? ANYBODY could cheat on you and give you an std. Just because a girl isn't a dancer doesn't mean she's clean and is not going to fuck other guys. Yes, I'm aware there are plenty of strippers who do extras. I've met and worked with plenty of them, but to say every single stripper is doing extras and fucking other guys is completely ignorant. You can't just lump people into one category. I know just as many girls who don't offer extras or do anything on the outside. I know strippers who are married and have never fucked another man outside of their marriage. Forcing your partner, no matter what job they do, to take an std test every 6 months is not only disrespectful but cruel. If I were dating you and you told me you want me to take an std test because I MUST be fucking other people because I'm an exotic dancer, I'd dump your sorry ass immediately. If you lack respect for somebody to that extent, don't date them. Period. Easy as that.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    I was dating her because the sex was really hot. It wasn't about respect. Maybe you forgot to read that part. Btw she liked it too. Maybe all strippers aren't like my stripper gf but like I said in a previous post this is a strip club website so dudes on the site are kind of looking for stereotypes and that is the way I see it. Sorry if you dont agree. I just don't see a lot of girl next door types in the strip clubs I have been to.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    And Btw getting an std test is something advisable to many people in casual relationships, stripper or not.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    And to cyclops65. I am with alabegonz. That girl is a keeper. Shit nothing like that has ever happened to me. Don't get married though. That is just not a place any sensible man needs to go.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    Oh yeah. My stripper GF told me she was sleeping with other guys. I think she did it to get my attention, make me jealous. Not exactly a healthy relationship right? I wasn't assuming anything although I was a bit curious why she was constantly checking her texts while we were at dinner and even at night when we were having sex together. When I finally called her on that she would have to go to the bathroom and for a long long time. The only time I got a chance to look at her phone it was amazing how many guys she was getting e-mails from. "I love you" "baby" etc etc. She didn't have many girl friends. From what I could tell she was kind of obsessed with guys. Again, I was in this for the sex, and in this regard she did not disappoint.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "She is having sex with other guys." This is already a given. In my case, even before we met she was fucking other men. I'm not that newb/naive who will believe she not doing it. We have this line we do not cross about not discussing who we are having sex with. She is so secretive about it, I don't know why. I keep pressing the idea that is OK for her to tell me how the sex went and she would look at me with that Dagger Eyes, saying "I am not a whore."
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    EXACTLY. I know she is having sex with other guys. She knows I know she is having sex with other guys. But as soon as I ask her about how it is, she gives me the evil and won't say a word. But if I so much as mention that I might be going out with someone else, she freaks on me. She gets totally jealous and pissed. It is all a mystery to me too.
  • jestrite50
    •
    10 years ago
    I had a stripper I met about 3 years ago and I really liked her. I started helping her financially. Paid her rent utilities etc. Bought her a decent car. We were meeting a couple days a month for about 2 1/2 years. We did everything while together the typical GF relationship. Then at Christmas this past year she introduced me to her mother. From that point on she wouldn't return my calls and texts and made all kinds of excuses why she couldn't talk to me at that time. I just gave up on the relationship and started looking again at the same club for another OTC setup. Only this time it will be strictly business for pleasure. I'm not getting attached to any more strippers. I really think her mom said something to her about the difference in our ages but that doesn't matter at this point it's over.
  • cbthree
    •
    10 years ago
    You wrote "And as the individual with the more resources in the relationship I was happy to help her out financially". I'm curious to know if you weren't the one with the most resources would you have felt the same way and paid her for 4 years? Also, $800 is way too much whether you have it or not IMO. Tell us how much you paid on a regular meet by meet basis. There's no need to hold back all the details online where no one knows you is it?
  • bang69
    •
    10 years ago
    I have dated strippers in the past. All I can say is it was fun at the time. But now Its not worth it. To many issues to deal with
  • Dr.F
    •
    10 years ago
    If there is one "profession" where it's completely appropriate to lump together into a certain type of person, me thinks it would be strippers. And that's from much experience. They all share a myriad of similar traits, experiences, motivations, and problems. Obviously not 100% are the same, but easily 90% are, which certainly warrants stereotyping. It it what it is for all you White Knights out there trying to defend these gals "honor."
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    I would go to see her or she would come to see me. We didn't live that close. Picture Los Angeles and San diego. We would go out to dinner and then to a hotel or to her place and f%÷× for a long time. In the morning I would have coffee with her, pay her $800 and leave. It was above the market rate for p4p. There is another woman, a little older but still hot, who is fine with this type of arrangement for $300.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    And now since my wife and I have signed papers I have been on [view link]. I have already found one partner who is happy to date and f%#^ for no $. She is older but really hot. My ex stripper gf has not been returning my texts since I refused to pay her car insurance. She is stupid.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    hotwheels, You said, watch out for the drama. Yes, women often use drama to manipulate. It is not just strippers. Yes, if you are telling them that you care about them, then you should be concerned for their well being and what troubles they might get into. But all too often they are staging situations, in order to make you extend yourself and to make yourself more committed to them. This is how I did exactly what I though I would never do, get married. And my wife was nothing like a stripper. She was a conservative living girl. But she latched on to me, because I encouraged it, but also because she found by trial and error that she could manipulate me with emotional terrorism. Of course, when it really got ugly, was immediately after we were married, and not one second before. SJG
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now

Want 4 weeks free VIP to tuscl?

Write an article