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Is it cheating to have sex with a Stripper if your married

Friday, June 27, 2014 12:00 AM
This is not one of those long drawn out articles. This is definitely not a reflection of your own personal moral standard or what others perceive to be status quo. This is simply a question asking others who may empathize or sympathize on the situation. The question arises to be, is it morally illegal or respectively wrong to have sex with a stripper if in fact you are married or in a serious relationship? Before you jump to the basic answer which is "YES", take the time to look at it from a different perspective. The simple answer of "yes it is wrong" comes from generations of brain washing and teaching where people live in a world of monogamy. We are suppose to find one person in this world and commit ourself whole to that one person (whether that person is beneficial or detrimental to your own mental health.) The automatic response of saying something like this is wrong comes from everyone in the world assuming it is wrong based on ethics that we did not create ourselves. You can say "well if it feels wrong than it must be wrong" and you would have a valid point. However, why is it little kids are so mischievous? Why do kids torture and humiliate other without regard to "feelings"? It could be that they do not know any better and that has been the eternal response. Or it could be that kids are running on the primal instincts of human nature and that they haven't been brain washed into "knowing better". All the views, ethics, rules, and perceptions we have are brought about by society, government, and others who feel they have the higher authority to determine the way we live our lives. So to sum up your quick, preconceived answer of "Yes", who is really answering the question? Do you personally feel its wrong or have you been programed to think that way? Now that you can open your mind, is it truly wrong to have sex with a stripper? You are not making love to this women, you will hopefully never this women again (Not in my particular case where she ended up being my girlfriend's best friend's best friend. Imagine how awkward that was to see her at my GF's best friend's birthday.) On top of it all, you were satisfying a need that perhaps you couldn't get from your partner or a curiosity that you may be done with. Chances are that this was a decision you made after a long business day, stressful day at work, or pure sporadic thought as you drove past a place called Blue Moon adult club. This should be seen as that occasional night you just go out to get wasted with the boys after a long time of not seeing them. Something of an enjoyable sin that once completed you can continue to live your daily life. Relieving yourself here can get it all out and relax your thought so when you do get home to your wife or GF or whatever you have at home, your not at their throat threatening to end up as another crazy couple where one killed the other on the daily news. It should not be a broken thing to want to "smash" a hot, half naked or fully naked girl dancing allover you. It shouldn't be obscure to watch Tammy suck and fondle whatever you want her to. It would only be unnecessary if you don't use protection. Whatever happens at these places, should just stay at these places, BOTTOM LINE. It is not wrong to explore others in a facility that you pay to do so. It is a mutual agreement between two parties. But do not ever be the guy who brings this stuff home. (unless you have someone that is also into that then send me a message anytime ;)) People shouldn't be spending $7,000 in a single sitting if you only make $800 every other week. That is just irresponsible. I know we all want to be the ballar at the club and you can not resist when you get all this attention from girls you may have thought were always out of you league. But you need to remember this is a game, a constant bid so to speak. They offer a price and you offer a bid to that price. The negotiations depends on how desperate the girl wants the money and how good looking you are as well. Again, always use protection. The absolute bottom line is you should never walk away from a club feeling disappointed with what happened in there. Be smart, be safe, and enjoy yourself. At the end of the day these places are set up so that you can enjoy your time and that is why you came. So I believe it is not cheating to have sex with a stripper, it is simply practice or an opportunity to really enjoy yourself or even a chance to reevaluate your relationship at home.

27 comments

  • rickdugan
    •
    10 years ago
    Is water actually wet? Before you jump to the basic answer which is "YES", take the time to read this torturous exercise in mental gymnastics, which is intended to rationalize why it is not truly wet... ...or we can just admit that it is and learn to live with it. ;) Unless she has given you the go-ahead to fuck other women, then it is cheating. This is coming from a guy who routinely does so with strippers all over the country. Man up and be honest with yourself. And if you are too emotionally delicate to wrap your arms around the fact that you are a cheating dog, then maybe you should stop fucking strippers. Thanks for sharing. :)
  • chemjb714
    •
    10 years ago
    "Cheating" is a euphemism. If you are not married, but not to the stripper in question, then having sex with her is adultery. Whether that is moral or immoral is between you, your wife, and whatever higher power or moral authority you believe in. I certainly hope that this board is neither to you.
  • jester214
    •
    10 years ago
    Where's ole' Alucard when we need him?
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    “… We are suppose to find one person in this world and commit ourself whole to that one person …” That’s what commitment is supposed to be – don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. Would you be ok w/ your mate banging other guys whenever she was in the mood to do so? In life – we often have to choose b/w doing what we want to do and doing what we have-to/should do – can’t have the cake and eat it too; i.e. marriage/commitment and banging all you want on the side. So is it wrong – yeah – IMO – but let he who is w/o sin cast the first stone – but the fucked up part about it is that when one cheats on a person; one is directly screwing-up/affecting another person – it’s not as other things that primarily only affect the person performing the inappropriate act.
  • emmett
    •
    10 years ago
    The guy fucking the stripper isn't the person who gets to say whether he is cheating. That would be his wife. Hey gilk, is it still not cheating if you bring home herpes and infect your wife?
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Posting an article like this is really asking for it. It's like a big ginormous elephant in the room and we're supposed to say we don't see it? I spent some time thinking about how I would approach this and thought about this one like... Cheating. Under moral codes defined by a society, cheating is a type of conduct that is considered bad, in the sense the result could be harmful. But let us qualify cheating leading to a harmful result. Does having sex to dancer lead to harm. Who gets harmed? Again, phrasing the question, what if nobody gets harmed? Is the act of cheating considered bad?
  • shailynn
    •
    10 years ago
    I would say most wives or significant others would consider cheating as you putting your dick in anything other than them. For some prudes, even your own hand as in masturbating to some is considered cheating. I've know some women who consider watching porn as a form of cheating, and I sure feel bad for their hubby. Society typically has a line that is a set rule. Most people agree to follow that line. There are people that do not follow it and this is a perfect example. Doe that make you a rule breaker? Maybe. I would bet most of American society male and female would agree it's cheating. The prude wives would be to the extreme right adding more rules that constitute "cheating" where as a typical member on this board may learn more to the left making amendments to situations that are considered cheating by most others.
  • shadowcat
    •
    10 years ago
    It's cheating if you are hiding the fact because you know your S/O would disapprove.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    Make sure your wife or gf doesn't find out. That would be disrespectful. What you do in your free time on a business trip is none of her business. Man up. That is the way I see it.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    If one says yes and the other one says no. Again, this is going to get circular because no one is citing about the common law. And if there is a common law for cheating, how does it translate to a population under jurisdiction of law. So, say what you wanna say and claim like it is enforceable, like there is an external that is going to convict the cheater. Going back to the argument, the basis of cheating must be defined not at the level where two parties shake hands and agree, but a rule of conduct that is surrounded by a law that is enforceable.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Again, here is the example. I ask the dancer for sex and she said yes. Or, the dancer asked me for sex and I said yes. We only know for a fact that we going to have sex, this knowledge is just between the two of us. Later on, the sex act was committed and the exchange was made after the fact. No one knew about the act except me and the dancer. Did it harm anyone? No one was harmed.
  • lopaw
    •
    10 years ago
    Yes it is cheating. Period. And either you rationalize it in your own way and carry on or you don't and you stop banging strippers. Most of us married folk here have found peace with the decision that we have made to step out of the confines of marriage and we do what we do. But we don't kid ourselves into calling it something it isn't.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    You need to make sure it is kept very private. Don't brag about it to your friends, don't start texting strippers from your cell, return your wife's call if she calls you etc. Decency is important. And honesty. If your wife starts getting interested in what you were doing on such and so Tuesday night when you were traveling on business you simply tell her that it is none of her business. Don't lie. And don't call it something that it isn't. But I wouldn't call it cheating. You probably aren't having sex with a stripper if you are getting satisfied at home, and you probably aren't doing it to find the next Mrs.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Here's another example. I went to the parlor to have my hair cut by this awesome looking lady. She touched my head and massaged it so good it like we were in the moment. I paid her the amount plus some tip. When I was about to leave she gave a nice eye-fucking look. I winked back at her and she smiled back. Did I cheat? No one was harmed. The explanation is like this: (1) There is only the contract. (2) Only two parties enter an agreement. (3) Two parties agree because there is a common law stating such-and-such. (4) You only cause harm when the act committed was designed to harm. (5) As long as the intent is not cause harm, then it is still good.
  • Fitzonie
    •
    10 years ago
    Not if your wife is watching. Or if she is also having sex with the stripper. Or if the three of you are having sex together and she is helping the stripper with you. And yes, I know what a lucky man I am.
  • skibum609
    •
    10 years ago
    I've been a divorce lawyer for 32 years and the answer is yes it is cheating.
  • AlexanderWoodlawn
    •
    10 years ago
    Its not cheating in my book. You paid a professional for a sexual experience. You didn't fall in love with her, you still love your wife. Now when you start giving your heart to another woman, that is cheating. a couple caveats.... -play extremely safe- getting an STD would suck, giving one to your wife because you were too dumb to wrap your willy with Trixie the stripper....that's awful. -if you don't have the stomach for it (the fact you posted this here tells me you probably don't) don't do it. -as mentioned by others....do not share your number with the pay for play girl. If you cant bang a girl and not call her/want to call her later, don't do it.
  • goonster
    •
    10 years ago
    Oh please.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    “… Its not cheating in my book …” Try that in divorce court and see how it works out
  • bvino
    •
    10 years ago
    If you don't tell your wife then it is cheating and lying. Confessing on here doesn't count for shit and the rest is justification.
  • hotwheels
    •
    10 years ago
    Most states have no fault divorce. The court doesn't care what you did in your spare time. To put it bluntly, cheating on your wife won't effect the way the court rules on your divorce settlement in a no fault divorce state. It might make your wife less likely to settle with you though and that could get expensive. That is why you need to keep it very private. Why would you tell her about something that does not effect your feelings for her or the way you feel about the marriage? You (and your wife) are entitled to some privacy in your relationship.
  • thatformerdancer
    •
    10 years ago
    If the other spouse it's not aware, it's cheating. If the spouse agrees, not. If the spouse participate, not. I miss my dancer days: I used to bring fellow dancers from time to time for threesomes with me and the husband.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    10 years ago
    If you made a promise (or even implied a promise) to not have sex with someone else, then yes, it's cheating. If you didn't, then it's not. I have never cheated on my wife.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    If a man turns to sex from strippers because they are younger or prettier than his wife, or if he turns to strippers simply because he is bored or wants variety, then that is cheating. However, if a wife repeatedly over a period of years refuses her husband's reasonable requests for sex, then in my view it is not cheating if that husband turns to strippers to get the sex that his wife has refused him. An implicit part of the sexual exclusivity covenant in marriage is an agreement that each spouse will meet the others sexual needs. Indeed, it makes no sense to agree that you will only be with one person sexually for the rest of your life, unless it is also understood that this person agrees to reasonably meet their spouses sexual needs. If one spouse breaks this covenant, ie refuses to meet their spouses reasonable sexual needs repeatedly over many years, then I don't consider it cheating if the rejected spouse turns to others to meet the need that their spouse repeatedly refuses to satisfy. Of course, my wife and most women would disagree, and apply a strict no sex outside of marriage no matter what the circumstances rule. However, many of these same women consider pornography, lap dances, or even going to a strip club, to be cheating as well. When I got married, I didn't agree to give up sex. I only agreed to get my sex from my wife. How can I keep that commitment when she refuses sex? When I got married, I never expected that I would ever reach the point where I would seek out sex from other women. Of course, I also never expected that my wife would loose interest in sex and repeatedly refuse even the most basic sexual requests. I don't consider fucking strippers to be cheating under these circumstances. If you disagree and want to call what I do cheating even under these circumstances, that's fine. I understand that is the answer that our feminist culture demands. But I plan to keep having a sex life, and for now that means that I need to keep having sex with strippers no matter what label is attached such action.
  • HerpinMaDerp
    •
    10 years ago
    "But baby it didn't mean anything! I swear!" What a moron. If you make a commitment, then stick to it. Otherwise you have no ethics and no honor. If you want to be able to sleep with whoever you want, then don't make a fucking commitment, idiot! There are plenty of guys these days who are open about the fact that they won't be monogamous. And they still find girls who will sleep with them, sometimes even marry them! It's a personal choice, as long as it's founded on honesty. So if you are in a committed relationship and you're not getting the sex you want, then break up with her! Be a fucking man and live life honestly and openly, not like a rat in the sewer. All you have to do is say "Babe, this isn't working for me. I need more in my sex life, and what we've got going here isn't enough, and I don't think it ever will be. I'm going to start seeing other women." Maybe she'll accept an open relationship, but that's totally up to her. If she needs monogamy, then tell her to find it with some other guy. Have some fucking integrity.
  • Player11
    •
    10 years ago
    Technically it is but its probably the smartest way to do it. However, cheating does not bother me.
  • AlexanderWoodlawn
    •
    10 years ago
    Lol. For a web site and forum that is full of strip club goers and a few strippers, we sure have a bunch of puritans on our hands. So many of you are so FOS. I mean that with no disrespect, I certainly am. "Ive never cheated.' "id never cheat." "XYZ is cheating." "I made a vow." Lol. Cmon people. You go to strip clubs so much, you joined a web site to review them and talk about them. Its OK to be honest.
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