tuscl

Staying One Step Ahead

Wednesday, October 9, 2013 12:00 AM
I don't frequent strip clubs. It's something I'll do for a friend's bachelor party or if a buddy of mine has a milestone birthday, but generally speaking it's not my thing. It's just so hard to get over the fact that virtually nothing the girls say to you is remotely truthful. Sure, you may get honest tidbits here and there, but the ultimate purpose of a stripper is to get you to spend the most amount of money over the longest period of time. We all know this, although in the moment it's quite easy to forget. I went to a highly rated strip club in a major city last week, and met a girl there with the face of an angel, the attitude of a tigress and a body that mere words would only disservice. She would be my girl for the night, regardless of cost - that much I knew. It was my best friend's Bachelor party, but the Best Man has to have some fun too right? She played the game better than almost any other stripper I've encountered. It went well beyond the usual, "You're hot," "You're awesome," "I'm happy to be hear with you" nonsense. No, it almost seemed genuine. She didn't tell me she graduated from NYU or Columbia. I find it amazing that every Eastern European stripper in the city has a Master's from an Ivy or near Ivy school. Where were these chicks when I was a lowly grad student at Columbia? Anyhow, she told me about her past relationships, her interests, her SAT scores. She bullshitted with me, told me off if she thought I was wrong about something, and didn't always say what you would think I would want to hear. Me being me, I told her it was all an act and that she genuinely had no interest in me. Of course she disagreed, and out of nowhere I'm like "prove it." Well, she proved it by doing something (after some initial resistance) I know she wouldn't normally do. I won't say what it was (not sex) because again, I don't want to reveal anything, but it caught me off guard. It was already after hours, she had already paid half of my time upfront (cash only at that point), and yelled at me several times for not having enough cash on me (like I knew they would close out my card). When we finally were done - I think I paid for an hour and got close to two - the club was empty. Things continued in the bathroom for a little bit and I was on my way. I was supposed to get her digits but forgot to ask. And of course there is no waiting for the girls outside, so I didn't bother. I realize that despite all the signs that it wasn't all an act, it almost 100% was, and I have to say I admire her for always staying one step ahead. I might go back just for another fun challenge. Well, it doesn't hurt that she's nearly perfect looking. Maybe I'm a cynic, maybe I read people really well, or maybe I'm an idiot for even letting the thought momentarily slip into my head that it wasn't all a well-conceived act catered to my personality - but what a pro. She ruined all other girls at strip clubs for me.

12 comments

  • boogieknight369
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    11 years ago
    I've had many girls ruin all other strippers for me. Right up until I find the next one. Lol.
  • shadowcat
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    11 years ago
    If frequenting strip clubs is not your thing, why are you writing an article for a strip club web site?
  • 3LeggedMan
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    11 years ago
    I think we have a RIL-In-Training.
  • Papi_Chulo
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    11 years ago
    “… It's just so hard to get over the fact that virtually nothing the girls say to you is remotely truthful … the ultimate purpose of a stripper is to get you to spend the most amount of money over the longest period of time …” I think you are confused – a strip club is not a singles bar or the place one goes to find a nice girl that will be “truthful” with you – it’s more like a car dealership where one is dealing with sharp/cunning salespeople. They are there to make the sale and make as much “commission” as possible just as any other salesperson. Dancers are not there hoping to find Mr. Right – they are just there to make as much $$$ as they can and say anything to make the sale (again like any other salesperson). If fact; many if not most dancers look at strip club goers as losers or pervs whom they would never consider dating. “… Me being me, I told her it was all an act and that she genuinely had no interest in me …” Did you also tell her the sky is blue.
  • gawker
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    11 years ago
    I've met several strippers who have been 100% honest with me. Sure, when we first meet its sell, sell, sell. But after an hour you can tell unless you're a complete dolt. They are people with feelings, aspirations, and daily problems. I've met one who is college educated, has a Roth IRA & a 401k. She is bright, uber-attractive and has been stripping for more than 12 years. I know another who is a high school dropout, a heroin addict, a scam artist who has had 5 abortions ( all inseminated by different men) and she's drop dead gorgeous. I have travelled with the second one (Vegas & Myrtle Beach) and while I enjoy her company in one hour doses, 24/7 could give an aspirin a headache. As is stated above strip clubs are not dating bars. It's fantasy world. I've fulfilled many of the items on my sexual bucket list with strippers and have literally spent hundreds of thousands of dollars doing so and don't regret it one bit. It's Disneyworld for adult men. (And some women). I ask you to re-examine your bias that "nothing the girls say to you is remotely true". How many times do you exaggerate your attributes? There is one line though, that every self respecting stripper will utter which is pure BS: "Oh, what a big cock you have" by the way, without violating confidences, what did she do (non-sexual) to convince you that she was genuine?
  • SoonerSam
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    11 years ago
    I am well aware of "the game." And I have NO problem playing it - as long as I know I'm playing it. A stripper doesn't have to promise to meet me OTC to get money out of me. If I'm there, I'm ready to spend money. The best way, though, to kill the golden goose, is to play "the game" with me and make me think it's sincere. A stripper doesn't think long-term, though. She thinks of the moment. I can be (and have been many times) a long-term investor in a stripper's lifestyle. But the moment a stripper plays me without informing me we're playing, I turn off the money tree. I love to play "the game," I just want to know I'm playing it.
  • wthhpe78
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    11 years ago
    @gawker - Call it a prolonged makeup session. That was putting it mildly, and I know for most strippers that's a violation of the Golden Rule, at least as far as business transactions of this type go. Like I said, there was likely an ulterior motive behind it (i.e. more future money), but despite my attempts to just get her to admit she was playing the game, she kept professing sincerity. Like SoonerSam said, I don't mind if it's all a game, just let me in on it. But despite my cynicism (although most would call it realism) dancers are still real people with real genuine emotions who are probably looking for the same things we all are, albeit in slightly different ways. Guess it's just not as black and white as I thought it was.
  • Lone_Wolf
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    11 years ago
    Why write this off so quickly? You fucked up big time not getting her number but all is not lost. Just go see her again. Late for me now, but in my youth, and with more money, I could have easily pulled a few of these honey's. I don't think its as impossible as is portrayed on SW and TUSCL. I've met several dancers OTC for dinner etc... Almost all have been great times. When a dancer starts saying she wants to meet for dinner or something I'm inclined to believe her now days and not SS.
  • Draper
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    11 years ago
    Gawker- Hundreds of thousands of dollars? That's a hell of a bucket list!
  • Estafador
    •
    11 years ago
    Dude I know you had a "Good Time" being entertained by the stripper but you said it yourself, she was juzt one step ahead. And to break the challenge again is apart of why veteran strip club goers continue to gk back. If you finally changed your mind on your enjoyment of strip clubs, that is fine but don't let thiz be the reason. Soon enough you'll find yourself doing what you hste for the thrill. And then you just effectively became indefinitely two steps behind.
  • iJustWant2no
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    11 years ago
    You confuse me. You don't frequent strip clubs, and clubs aren't your thing, as you say. You have no idea what a stripper does on the 1st night, the 2nd night, the 9999999th night. You don't have a clue what "she'd normally do", and can't possibly know what a stripper's "Golden Rule" is. Assuming she actually did kiss you, and this post is not some college psychology project for you - how is that kiss genuine proof of anything? What are you going to do if she meets you in a hotel room - assume she doesn't normally do that either? In my experience, most strippers like money. They do and say whatever they need to do in order to keep the money coming in. If you met her as a customer, you represent money. Of course she'll do and say whatever she needs to, in order to keep her money - you - coming in.
  • sofaking87
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    11 years ago
    Dude, sounds like you had a good night. Nothing beats nude women, good conversation/debate, and a sex act to end it off. I recommend you do like the rest of us and write a review for the club. Don't name names, but if there's a club with a pretty lady, that can carry on a conversation, and puts out, don't keep it to yourself!
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