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Weird Sex Laws

Tuesday, July 9, 2013 12:00 AM
ALABAMA: sex toys are banned
-ancient law in Alabama bans men from attempting to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, arts, deception, flattery or a promise of a marriage."

ARIZONA: perfectly all right for women to go topless in public, since breasts weren't deemed private parts.

CALIFORNIA: illegal for either partner to reach climax before the other during foreplay

CONNECTICUT: forbidding any "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."

FLORIDA: - Two people cannot commit "unusual acts" together.
-illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine.
-it is an offense to shower in the nude

GEORGIA: sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal

IDAHO: not allowed to engage in any type of public display of affection for more than 18 min.

ILLINOIS: illegal to have sex on your wedding day if you're fishing or hunting in Oblong

INDIANA: oral sex is banned

IOWA: -5 min. time limit to make out- a man in Ames cannot take more than three swallows of beer while hodling his wife in his arms in bed

KENTUCKY: can't marry the same man three time in some Kentucky townships

LOUISIANA: you can streak as long as ou can prove to a court beyond a doubt that you had no "lascivious intent".

MARYLAND: it's illegal to smooch for more than 1 sec (yes 1 second) in Halethrope

MICHIGAN: male drives in Detroit are banned from "ogling" women
-illegal to serenade your girlfriend in Kalamazoo

MINNESOTA: sleeping naked is illegal. illegal for men to have intimate sexual relationships with a live fish (although women, it's perfectly legal)

MISSISSIPPI: men cannot become sexually aroused in public

NEBRASKA: couples sleeping at a hotel must wear the clean, cotton nightshirt provided by the hotel, even when they have sex.

NEW MEXICO; couples in Carlsbad can have sex in their parked car during their lunch break, as long as the curtains are drawn

NEVADA: if you're a member of the Nevada legislature, you cannot conduct business while in session, wearing a penis costume

NEW YORK: women cannot be seen wearing "body hugging clothing" - women can go topless in public, unless it is for "business" reasons

NORTH CAROLINA: it's an offense to have sex in a graveyard - if you're unmarried and you and your lover register yourselves as a "Mr. and Mrs." when checking into a motel, then you're legally considered husband and wife (bigamy, polygamy, the potential criminal consequences are endless"

OHIO: anal intercourse is banned in Cincinnati

OREGON: husbands in Willowdalecan are fined for talking during during intercourse, but theives wives can say whatever they please

TENNESSEE: women in Dyersburg cannot call a man for a date

TEXAS: Flirting is illegal in San Antonio

WASHINGTON D.C. - sexual positions beyond missionary are illegal

WISCONSIN: illegal for a man to fire his gun in Connersville, when his lover reaches climax

WYOMING: sex in a walk-in meat freezer is banned in Newcastle

California, you ROCK! And for those in Minnesota, Washington State and Florida good luck with your private sex lives and keep your PJ's on while sleeping and showering.

9 comments

  • mjx01
    11 years ago
    "KENTUCKY: can't marry the same man three time in some Kentucky townships"

    yeh... someone should probably intervene if a guy is THAT dumb

    "WASHINGTON D.C. - sexual positions beyond missionary are illegal"

    So that's why congress enjoys fucking the country so much
  • tumblingdice
    11 years ago
    Shit Sam,if any of these were adhered to you wouldn't be writing this.
  • shadowcat
    11 years ago
    And don't forget that in Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
  • mahnamahna
    11 years ago
    There are no sorority houses in the city of Flint, Michigan as they have an old prostitution law on the books stating that no house can have more than 6 females living there. Now, there are PLENTY of prostitutes in Flint, but college girls need to live 15 minutes away....
  • gawker
    11 years ago
    Damn, if I'm going to spend the winter in Florida, I better leave my pet porcupine at home.
  • jabthehut
    11 years ago
    The politicians in DC are breaking the law 'cause they're constantly fucking us in the ass!
  • panthern
    11 years ago
    really San Antonio....flirting...that's your big problem?
  • jabthehut
    11 years ago
    Okay, gawker just outed himself. Wonder how his having sex with his porcupine works. Wonder how often his prick gets pricked. LOL
  • crazyjoe
    11 years ago
    Tota awe bedraggled fggfd ghost dfgbdt vBulletin vs Dr tv ft BBC bc fb
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