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Harderlap

New Mexico

Going to strip clubs is expensive. Nobody is going to argue that. But there are ways to make your money last longer and to have more fun at a club for the same amount of money. Here are some suggestions:

1.Don't be cheap. Spend your money wisely, but don't be a skinflint. In particular, be a good tipper. If you are not a good tipper, you will get a reputation for being cheap and once you have that reputation, you won't have as much fun in the club. Dancers and waitresses treat cheap customers differently than those that spend reasonably. You don't need to be a big spender though.

a. Tip every dancer, whether you find her attractive or not, whether you want a dance from them or not, and most importantly, even if you want to spend the money on something else, like a lap dance or the VIP room. Tipping every dance will get you a good reputation with not only the dancers that don't generally get tipped much, but also the dancers who do get tipped. The ones who do get tipped a lot will recognize that you respect the profession as well as the individual dancer and that will go a long way towards establishing a good relationship with all the dancers. Figure out how much money you will need to tip every dancer and set that aside. When it is gone, leave, or reallocate resources.

b. Tip the waitstaff. Waitresses and bar tenders will respect you for this and make your life in the club more enjoyable. If you stiff the help, they can make your life in the club miserable. Again don't be cheap. Lots of times you have a choice of tipping low, or tipping high. When in doubt tip high. Say you order a $5.50 drink. You can pay with $6 and tell the waitress to keep the change. That is a low tip by any standards. Or you can give her $7 and tell her to keep the change. That is a generous tip.

c. Don't sit at the stage without tipping every dancer every dance. If you can't afford to do this, don't sit at the stage. Sit away from the stage and walk up to the stage to tip. But you should still tip every dancer.

d. Buy something. Don't sit there without a drink. It is OK to nurse a drink, but when it is empty, you should order another one after a reasonable period. the exception to this rule is if the club has a drink minimum, then I figure after you have bought the minimum, you don't owe them anything.

2. Use the TUSCL reviews to scope out a midscale club in your area. The high scale clubs usually cost more, and often don't offer as good an experience as the mid scale clubs. They also often have extra hidden charges, such as valet parking or a bathroom attendant you need to tip. Most reviews in TUSCL list such things as cover, drink, and dance prices. Use these as a guide. There is also a value rating, which can serve as a guide as well, but I have found it varies significantly from city to city. I don't suggest staring out with a low scale club; there are values there, but if you get a bad one on the first try, it may turn you off from clubbing. Save the low scale ones for after you get some club experience.

3. Check the club's internet site or your local throw away paper for coupons. Often clubs will offer free admission or some money off on a cover charge. Use it.

4. See if there is reduced cover or no cover on some days. Often clubs will reduce or eliminate cover during the day or all day on slow days. This is often listed on their web sites, or in one of the throw away newspapers. Or take note when you enter the club, these events are often posted.

5. Take advantage of drink specials. Clubs often run drink specials during happy hours or at different times during the day. Take note of when the special drink offer is made, these are often repeated periodically, say every hour or half hour. Time your drinking to be nearly empty when the next one occurs.

6. Watch the dancers to see who gives the best lap dance. If you are trying to make your money go a long way, I would avoid getting a dance from a dancer I have not seen give a dance to another customer. Often the number of dances in a row that a guy gets will give a hint as to the dancers ability to give a good dance. So pay attention,without being obvious, to how the dancers perform for other guys.

7. Be careful of buying a dancer a drink. Some clubs jack up the prices on dancer's drinks and some dancers order exotic drinks, so you need to beware of this. If you like the dancer and you want to get a dance from here, just say no, how about a lap dance instead when the waitress asks if you want to buy the dancer.

8. Don't be afraid to say no. Many dancers are persistent, but if you don't want a dance from them just say no. You aren't obligated to get a dance from all who offer, and not getting a dance from a dancer you don't really want to get a dance from will burn through your money faster.

9. While VIP dances can be a lot of fun, they are also most expensive, so choose wisely before going down this path. If you want to make your money go a long way, don't get a VIP dance from a dancer you haven't gotten a good or great lap dance from on the floor. If the first dance in the VIP room isn't what you expect, stop it there. Don't chase good money after bad.

10. Speaking of VIP dances, many clubs charge money to get in to the VIP area. If your club does this, check to see if there are times when the cover is waived. Go then.

11. Go at lunch time. You need to eat anyway, so go to a club that offers lunch. The lunches at clubs are usually not expensive, and if you are checking out a club and don't want to be bothered by dancers, telling them that you are waiting for lunch or are eating inch usually is a good excuse to not get a dance. Plus your time is limited to your lunch hour, so you can;t dally and spend a lot of money.

12. Go during a slow time, usually in the day during the week. You will get more attention for your money from both the dancers and the waitstaff. Dancers are usually eager to make money and you may get a better experience than at other times.

13. Keep your strip club money separate from the rest of your cash. When it is gone leave. Watch what you are spending. Get in the habit of looking at every bill you spend before you spend it. While the dancer will be happy if you accidentally tip her a $10 instead of a $1, you will not be. Before I tip a dancer I fold the bill in thirds lengthwise with the "one" facing out so I know what I am spending. I keep dollars for tipping in one pocket and money for dances and drinks in another pocket.When that is gone I leave. See 14.

14. When you run out of money, finish your drink and leave. You will regret using a credit card or ATM card. That is a good way to spend money without due consideration. ATM charges are usually astronomical. Credit cards are often over charged.Plus the charges are usually to a weird name and although not usually associated with a strip club, they can raise questions if someone else is scrutinizing your card statement.

How much to bring? Well as a minimum, you will need cover, the price of a couple of drinks, plus tips, and enough money to tip every dancer, say a $1 every 4 or 5 minutes while you are there. This is a barebones experience and will probably run you $40 to $50 or more at most clubs, depending on how long you stay, what the cover is and so on. If you want lap dances add the cost of those. The amount you need to bring will climb fast. Same with VIP dances.

Go to a few clubs and see how you like them Every club has a different personality and you will probably feel more comfortable at one than another. You will see how far your money goes at each. Write a couple of honest reviews for TUSCL so the rest of us can benefit from your knowledge. Posting a review or article will get you a month free VIP membership and save you a few bucks.

If you find it costs more to have a good time than you bring, then save up your money and don't go as often. Build up a club fund in a envelope in the desk, or in that secret compartment in your wallet. Put a $20 in it every pay day. Get an extra $10 or $20 when you go to an ATM and put that in your fund. If you use a debit card to make purchases get $10 or $20 cash back every other time you use it and add that to your fund.

Having said all that, realize that money is the motivation for nearly everything that goes on at a strip club. This goes for the club owners and management, the wait staff, and the dancers. If you don't understand something that goes on in a club, try to think of it in terms of money. You will usually understand it better.