My Top Three Awesome Stripper Types
First, let me say that I do not engage in OTC activities with strippers, or indulge in "extras" in the club. (I do not desire to contract an STD or father a child by someone who tells me their name is "Cherry", but that's another article.) I am not saying that it is wrong for others to engage in these activities, but rather that it is just a personal preference for me. Hence, these "types" are from the standpoint of someone who would go to a strip club and not be in danger of being arrested for soliciting prostitution from his activies there. With that out of the way, here they are (in no particular order):<br />
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1.) The honest (about the dance) stripper. These are the ones that tell you what they will do and won't do, what their prices are, and exactly how many dances you are getting UPFRONT. There are no surprises with this type. You get exactly what you think you should be getting for your money at all times. This type takes the guess work out of going to a strip club, and are perfect for the guy that is on a limited budget.<br />
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2.) The skilled stripper. This type is super talented at what they do. So much so, that they may even be able to act like they enjoy the dance and are getting off on it. Seduction and sensuality are an artform for these women. They make you feel like you are the only man in the room (at least while you are paying them). These dancers are so good, most of the usual criteria for choosing a dancer are minimized. Age, fitness level, breast size, hair color, ethnicity, etc. do not matter nearly as much with this type. They more than make up for what they may lack in appearance (or your subjective taste in appearance) with their jaw-dropping talents.<br />
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3.) The hot, tight-bodied, super model stripper. At first, this may seem obvious, but this is not the typical, run-of-the-mill "hot" stripper. No, I am talking about the absolute epitome of the female form. A stripper that would be a "10" in literally every man's eyes, no matter his particular subjective taste. With these women, it does not matter if they take all of your money, lie to you, or are generally unskilled. They look so intoxicatingly beautiful, you could care less about all of that other stuff. These are so few and far between, that in all my strip club endevours over the years, I have only encountered one.<br />
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As before I only listed three, but there may be more. List your own other awesome stripper types that you think I may have missed. Please remember that I excluded all of the OTC and "Extras" types from this list. (For example, the "She gives me a hand-job for 10 bucks" type.) Maybe someone could list the top three of those as well.</p>
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> man's eyes
There is no such person.
NEWSFLASH! There is a fantastic new invention called a condom which protects against unwanted pregnancy and STDs.
In my experiences the point 2 dancer is the extremely rarest of rare.
1. Criterion number one. Physical. Is she "hot enough." The answer must be "yes" or "probably yes." There are an awful lot of women out there who get the "no" response automatically. Most of them seem to be dancing. :P
2. Criterion number two. Interpersonal / character / intelligence / conversation / etc.. Again, she must fulfill the "yes" in this criterion as well, but (as the original poster mentioned) there are different "types" who can be either "yes" or "no." (And by the way, criterion two -- character -- can NEVER trump a failure in criterion one -- physically hot enough.)
First type can be the "honest", as mentioned originally. Second type can be the "skilled", as mentioned originally again.
But those two types can be one-and-the-same, to me. I put them into my category of:
The dancer who will manipulate you physically in the way that you want, and in the way that you have a "right" to expect. Of course, this is all judgment call, and is partly (entirely?) based on what is reasonable IN A GIVEN CLUB and AT A GIVEN PRICE and IN A GIVEN CITY and WITH A PARTICULAR DANCER etc. etc.. So you can't really "demand" exactly the physical contact and activity you "rightly" expect. But when a dancer is good at customer service, generally she's honest about what you'll get and she's also able to give it to you. She doesn't mislead, and she doesn't fail to deliver, precisely because she's an able-bodied decent businesswoman. So, for me, the original "honest" and the original "skilled" fall into my own "able."
There are other types which I'ven oticed, take 'em for what they're worth. Not saying this is all the types, nor that all dancers fit these types exactly. These are just some general observations. New other types of dancers include:
The ingenue. This is the new kid on the block, a little wide-eyed and a little intimidated. You can probably get her to really go over the top if you help her get intoxicated, preferably in a club where she's roughly comfortable and where you have been a regular or at least a trusted customer for some time, so the other dancers can "shepherd" her over to you if they know she needs to be "broken in." I've had this enjoyable experience a few times, memorably at Visions in New Orleans, at Ybor Strip in Tampa, and at Fantasia in Richmond Hill (near Toronto). You won't get the most "skilled" lap-dance from the girl, since she is probably going to know very few tricks of the trade. But you will get more "interpersonal" connection, since she's relying (though she probably doesn't know it) on the customer to put her at her ease.
The substance abuser. This girl is drunk / stoned / tweaking / whatever well beyond anything interesting. I can't tell you much more about her, I don't spend time with her.
The over-the-hill. Physically inadequate (see my criterion number one, above) and in denial. Or simply desperate for money.
The rocker / biker / goth / tattoo-canvas / tougher-than-you. These girls have something to prove, generally are angry with men (and probably with women, too), and will chitty-chat in a sweet way but then suddenly turn an unpredictable about-face and "catch you out" in a conversation. They'll pick one misrepresentative sentence or comment, decide to be pissed off and offended by it, and get huffy and aggressive about everything you say in the hopes of making you feel weak and abused. Your best solution is to call them on it. [Example: Me -- hey, you're hot. Her -- howdy cutie wanna dance? Me -- in a minute, I'm just finishing up my drink her. So, do you work here often? Her -- (about-face!) You call this "work" do you? What makes you think I don't enjoy it? Why do you call it "work" and not "play"? Disapproval? Envy? Me -- uh, well, do you DANCE here often? Her -- (still aggressive) You didn't fuckin' see me DANCE did you? You weren't even paying attention! ][Potential solution: Me -- You like nit-picking words, hunh? I bet your last boyfriend donkey-punched you for that kind of shit. That's what I do when my girlfriend mouthes off like that. ] I don't enjoy these types of interactions but I am sometimes called on them -- maybe not to the extreme that my (admittedly poorly written, over-the-top) example suggests. It's a "necessary" type of bluster in some strp clubs, especially the more "neighborhood" type places. In New Orleans, a customer can get this A LOT at Visions, but NEVER at a French Quarter middle-class-white club.
The ditz. Probably does not have excellent hearing, so comes across in the noise club environment as a lot stupider than she really is. Maybe it's just an act, this ditz thing. Maybe it's for real. Doesn't matter, it's cute. :) Problem is, usually it doesn't translate to cute or even capable lap-dancing. I usually find, that if the girl comes across as a bimbo, ditz, dumb-blonde, frivolous flighty little "girlish" thing, then she isn't going to pay proper attention during that $20-per-rock-song job that she does in the VIP booth. And given that $20-per-rock-song is $300-per-hour, she ought to earn her keep a bit more responsibly. It would be nice to believe that the ditz would be just as charmingly girlish and sweet in the back, but she never is, not in my experience.
The slut / gimme. Once in a while a gal just wants her hands all over a guy. It has to be the right kind of guy for the gal, and there's not really any way to bring that sort of thing about except to just wait for it to happen, but it's great when it does. I got lucky with this, about two months ago. A gal who does dance off-and-on, but can't be said to "be a stripper" in the standard meaning of the term, was working. I'd interacted with her before, she and I were cool with each other and got along. She got a little tipsy, had some rules about minimum number of dances she had to perform to meet club requirements, and so just demanded that we go to the private booths. No charge. We made out, she grinded, we covered about ten songs, I bought her some drinks (for which the price was considerably lower, by about a power of ten and then some, relative to what the dances would have cost). Excellent experience. I would have said that I wish I could replicate it more regularly, except it's also kind of all up-in-your-face. If you wanted to hang with your bachelor buddies that night, but the dancer wanted to make out with you, then you would have had to foresake one or the other.
Related point: For me, by the way, hanging with a big rowdy crowd of supposed-buddies who are being sloppy-drunk all over themselves is seldom enjoyable. I'm usually intimidated and silenced by the crowded rowdy nature of the evening, and they're often upbraiding me for failing in their expectation that I "let loose" (by which, usually, they mean, "act even stupider than me, so that I don't feel quite as guilty as I do right now for the fact that I'm acting really stupid"). Ever noticed how drunken wastrels insist on sharing their inebriation? Misery loves company ... :P So I guess I have the misfortune that my friends or acquaintances tend to be unenjoyable to me during strip-clubbing. Not that they don't have other advantages, just sayin' ...