Strip Club Etiquette, Thoughts and Observations
JohnBuford
Massachusetts
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I have been pleasantly surprised at the thoughtful and well written articles and discussions on this site. I hope the following adds to it. These are some ideas and observations I would like to share.</p>
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Before you go to a club clean yourself up. Take a shower, shave, put on clean clothes, etc. Pretty basic I know, but we've all been in places where this wasn't always the case. I know some guys go directly from work and are working outside all day . Bring a clean shirt to change into as well as well as a toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant.</p>
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Bring money. Don't be a cheapskate. If you only have enough scratch for one visit, don't try and stretch it over two. You'll end up disappointed. Cash is the fuel of SC's. Don't visit when you're on "empty". If you sit at the rail or stage, tip. If you don't like the girl dancing, get up and let someone else sit there who might. If a girl is working hard , but no one is watching or tipping, go to her when she comes off the stage and tell her no one should work for free and then give her a few bucks. I've gotten great mileage out of this.</p>
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It's OK to ask for a glass of water, but if that's your drink of choice, stay home. My ratio is 2:1. For every two beers, I get a glass of water. Give the bartender a buck even if it's free.</p>
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When you're at a table and a girl approaches, stand up. This is two-fold. Number one, it's simply good manners. Try and remember that standing in those five inch clear stripper heels is a woman who enjoys being treated like a woman. If you like her, pull the chair out and invite her to sit. If you don't like her, stay standing. She'll get the hint and move on. (The smell of cigarette smoke is a deal-breaker for me.) Please don't waste a girl's time by asking her to sit knowing full well you're not gonna buy her a drink or get a LD. I've made "deals" with girls by telling them I'm not gonna get a LD, but they are welcome to sit and talk and in return I'll buy them a drink(s), with the understanding that she can/will get up and "work" the room. No hard feelings or misunderstandings. You'll be surprised how many will come back and sit with you. But if she doesn't come back, don't whine. It's not personal, it's business.</p>
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Be funny, be interesting. If you're both, it's a great "panty peeler". Don't ask her age/weight/marital status/hometown/real name. If and when she's comfortable she will share. Be patient. Avoid "you're hot." Like she hasn't heard that a gazillion times. I compliment their hair, nails, shoes and eyes. She spent a lot of time in front of the mirror to look good for you. Let her know you appreciate it. Be creative. Ask open-ended questions. "What kind of music do you listen to when you're not working?" If you think she might become a fave, give her a small gift. A bottle of nail polish fits easily in your pocket and goes a LONG way. If you see her eyes constantly wandering it means she's bored and/or looking for a bigger fish. Either way it's time to end the relationship. Stand up, thank her for her time and go to the Men's room before you go back to the bar. It looks better. Someone else will be along shortly and you'll get to fall in love all over again. I'm not interested in anything OTC so I can't offer any advice in that regard. But I will stress again the importance of patience and end with this story. Two bulls, a father and son are standing on top of a hill. In the valley below was a herd of beautiful cows. The son turns to the father and says "Let's run down there and fuck a cow. " The father replies "Let's walk down and fuck 'em all. " Stay thirsty my friends.</p>
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Be clean and spend money...generally be polite and pleasant...you bet! If you let a girl sit and chat with you for more than a few minutes and don't either plan to get a dance or tell her you don't then you're an exploitative bastard for sure. Personally if i get a "wanna dance" or "want company" from someone I'm not looking to stay a simple "I'm OK right now thank you" suffices.
Buy alcohol? No, not required. There's usually a cover and you're supporting the club's entertainers with tips/lap dances (they rarely if ever pay them, but they need them). Heck most of the time the water is $4 anyway so you're even covering the club. NEVER feel obligated to drink. Bad bad bad (BAD) rule. I suppose going to a club, just paying the cover, not ordering anything and staring at the stage without tipping is tacky 9worse if there is a free buffet :-). Pointless. Boring. But yeah, tacky.
Stand up? Really? Are you serious? It would be like a freakin catholic mass if we stood up every time a girl trolled by to see if you wanted a dance or "company" in the clubs I go to.
As a former altar boy,I smiled at the "Catholic mass" line.It will look/feel a bit awkward at first,but try it out and see if it works for you
I don't feel obligated to drink one thing over another. There have been nights when I only drank water or soda although that is not my typical preference. The clubs charge just about as much for whichever drink you buy whether it is beer or bottled water. Liquor does cost more though.
Otherwise I think the advice is good. I would not bring nail polish either.
One more thing I would add is not to drink too much. If you do call a taxi to spend the night nearby. Do not wander off to a table and interrupt a guy talking to a dancer you like even if they appear to just be sitting and watching the scene when you see them. If you want to get a dancers attention, wait until she is alone or on stage. Don't approach and talk to dancers at other guys tables. Of course if you're going to get drunk, you would be better off just staying home.
But please don't be cheap and try and drink free water all night either.Bottled water / Red Bull is about the same as beer in clubs. If you're really going to look like a pogo stick,then yes,always standing. will look silly
I know one manager who, while nice to decent patrons, takes great glee in watching those who told him all about how they paid cover and don't have to buy anything from the bar, leave the property in an ambulance. The pisser is, once the cops arrive, all he tells them is that the patron refused to make a purchase and then refused to leave the property when asked and he became a threat to him, his staff and his guests. Then the guy gets to go to jail once he heals up.
Crazy but true.
I too am going to nix the standing up idea, but if anything just for myself. Some peeps can pull some things off, some can't. For starters, I go to relax and have a good time. standing up and sitting down isn't it. I like the thought of not making her sit down if you aren't going to buy her a drink, but not sure I would make that a rule, but just a nice gesture I personally keep in mind, although most certainly, some girls either don't stick around long enough or don't pass the "I buy you a stripper cost drink". I agree we need to deal with respect, but understand that what is respectful is a matter of opinion and some of the pushy girls don't quite get it. They may be working, but I am a patron, so let's play it by ear.
Lastly, the club, time of day and how crowded it is has to be taken into account, but I guess that is probably implied in the post.
Oh, and I always stand up when my favorite comes over.
And the standing thing works too; I'll often stand up and pull out a chair for a favorite who's coming to sit with me, or for someone I've specifically invited from the stage or something. I don't stand for every dancer that walks up, though.
If you're driving home and you ask the bartender for water because you're driving and you tip as if you were buying drinks, many bartenders will give you a glass of water without charging you for it and they'll be happy that you aren't going to get in an accident on the way home that the bartender will be held accountable for in court. Even though the owner may grumble a little bit, the owner doesn't want his club to serve someone who gets in an accident either. Buying Coke or bottled water will make the owners who want you buying drinks happy. They don't care what you're buying as long as you're buying something.
I've had a couple of dancers say that they don't like pants with zippers when giving lap dances, apparently the zippers are not very comfortable. They'd prefer sweat pants or shorts that don't have a zipper, which is fine with me because they're more comfortable.
I agree with the compliments, as long as they're honest. I've had more dancers than I can remember tell me how nice it is to be complimented and treated with respect.
Perhaps you can try and stop being an asshole (unlikely ) and try posting again
I am retired from the USArmy and saw/did things that would make assholes (that would be you ) assume the fetal position and pee from your vagina
BTW,did you read the comment from the dancer? She said she liked the idea.I'll take her view over yours.Insofar as drinking,O made clear I don't believe you need to drink alcohol,just don't be cheap.Shaving? Personal preference
Stand/don't stand has been well documented in follow-up posts.Those who do not read are no better than those who cannot read.
If you had, you would see I "backed off " the "stand " comment. I never saw the movie so I can't comment. Take what I wrote and apply where and when it works for you and disregard the rest Ok?
Not so sure about the gifts... definitely should be reserved for a fave you've known for a while and who trusts you.
I agree with Drippy... good reminder for the regulars, and great heads up for the newbies!
...in fact I can only think of one club that requires business casual dress. I'd actually like to see more places, SC and not, require suits.
Anyhow, good post.
Once you're in the club and spending, she has almost all the power in the interaction. I don't want to look like she's already impressed me with her tits just by walking up to me. And I don't want to look like she can walk all over me. Many things you mentioned make me feel like you're sending the wrong message.
Maybe it's just an age thing and if you can pull it off, more power to you.
If I ever see you in a club I'll buy you a beer. :)
Would you consider him a gentleman? Even thought they might say they like to be treated like a proper lady, their actions say other wise.
I'm glad you liked it.Stepping in a SC doesn't mean leaving your brain/ manners at the door and start scraping your knuckles and mouth breathing.
1) Treat them with respect, be a gentleman. Yes, they are mostly sluts. But most guys at strip clubs are A-hole scumbags. So, if the dancers are willing to treat you with respect, treat them with respect.
2) Tip your bar staff and waitresses.
3) Agree with OP...don't be "that guy" that nurses 1 beer for 6 hours. That's insulting to the establishment. Not saying you need to get hammered, but even if you're the designated driver...either buy soda, juice, or let the waitstaf know you're driving and give them $3 for water.
4) Don't grab. A touch and a smile or nod is about as far as you should be going if you're not paying for it.
5) Don't throw money at the girl on stage. Either slip it in her g-string, hand it to her, or just set it on the stage. Unless you're "making it rain" and just showering her with $50 worth of singles whiel she is laying on the stage...don't throw $1 at her like she's a dog.
6) If a girl is talking to a guy, and you want a dancer from her...wait your turn or politely ask the guy if he minds if you ask her for a dance. Slipping in between her and another guy is just rude and a good way to start a fight.
7) Keep your eyes to yourself in the private area. Staring at the other guys getting their dances is not only disrespectful to the dancer you're with, it's just plain fucking weird for the guy on the other end.
8) If a girl sits with you and talks to you for awhile, when she could be getting dances and making money...do what the OP suggested and tell her the least you could do is get a private dance with her for spending so much time with you.
9) Reject "nicely". Reject them politely like you'd want to be rejected.
10) "Ask" for a dance. Their answer is usually gonna be "Of course" or "I'd love to"...but it's appreciated when you "ask" and don't just treat them like they're obligated to do whatever you say.
And of course, tip. The only time I won't tip is if I get hustled and it's blatent. And even in those cases, things can get ugly. It doesn't have to be a big tip, but tips are expected. I don't tip the bouncers usually, but everyone else deserves at least a small tip.
Thanks for your time and insights