Why I'm Quitting Las Vegas
For nearly 20 years I've been going to the Las Vegas clubs – usually 3-4 times per year when I'm there for business or just taking some time off. I recall the days when Crazy Horse and Olympic Garden were the hot spots. Then came Spearmint Rhino and now all the high glitz clubs like Sapphire, Treasures, Hustler and others. For me, the heyday of the Olympic Garden was the best Vegas has ever offered. But something is different with the Vegas clubs in recent years. They are not as naturally fun and loose as they once were and I've come away from my recent visits exhausted (and not in a good way). And here is the heart of problem – Vegas has become all about the upsell. It now costs $30 to get into some of these clubs. I know you can to get picked up but I've never really planned that far in advance. I like the old days when you could just show up in a taxi and not get robbed coming in the door. Then once you're in the drinks are $12 for a gin and tonic. Take a girl to a 3/1 dance room or the half hour VIP and you're hit up for anywhere from $30 - $150 in mandatory drinks. Then the dancers want tips plus tips for the bouncer/attendant. And then of course there are the girls – coming in from all points across the U.S. In Vegas they know they'll never see any of these guys again so their only incentive is to get as much money from each guy they encounter as possible. So they upsell – they overpromise on a 3/1 or a VIP and consistently under deliver. It doesn't matter – they'll never see you again. That is what is different from the hometown clubs. This has always been a hazard with Vegas clubs but in recent years this has become the norm. And I get exhausted trying to weed through the genuine versus the flake and it feels too much like a continuous battle. And so after my latest visits this last week to the Spearmint and Treasures (I'm not even going to bother with reviews), I'm ending this long term relationship with Vegas stripclubs. I'll be back to Houston and Detroit and I'll try to find some new favorite cities as well. But I'm quitting Las Vegas.
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18 comments
Vegas has always been about glitz, but what it has now become about is conspicuous consumption. That is the spending of money simply to show off the fact that you have money to burn. That applies equally to the bigger-bigger-bigger attitude of the casinos themselves but also the behavior of the visitors. And cash spent showing off at the strip clubs can be more easily hidden upon return as having 'lost it at the tables'.
I remember the original Crazy Horse on Paradise Road. It was a place that maybe could have had a dozen dancers working at once, nice and personal. Couldn't survive. Do you honestly think that your favorite hometown club would last a year transplanted to Industrial Road?
All that high end marble and chrome and glitz costs money. Square footage costs money. Paying off cab drivers costs money. It all has to be made up at the door or by charging the dancers more for use of the private rooms.
I have to agree, Vegas is a huge waste. If I was looking for action, Florida or Texas would be my destination of choice.
Interesting side story: during that 8-hr Rhino stint, a dancer baby crawled across the stage after locking on me and said "I know you, from Cheetah's in San Diego." True. I had bought two VIPs there from her, both at 8 songs for $100 when the going rate was 5 for $100. I think she remembered that too because at the Rhino she offered to do the 3 for $100 deal at 5 songs for $100. Problem is, thanks to TUSCL, I knew the mileage I received at Cheetah's was likely better than what I would get at The Rhino. So I bought one $20 couch lapper from her for old time's sake. So yes, I did see a Vegas dancer again -- well, actually she remembered me! (Course she wanted my money...)
If I were looking for serious pay to play action I would probably head to Canada. Hot escorts are everywhere, and legal. I've been hit up so many times in bars and nightclubs in Vancouver and Victoria, plus there are ads everywhere. A friend of mine does a lot of websites for escorts there. The SCs in BC do suck though.
1/2 hour room - I think that was the best value in the place. Best area for privacy (semi-privacy actually). I was in good with the bouncer and he gave me more like 45 mins - it was pretty funny. I guess it pays to know the bouncers! Anwyay, my friend left a couple years ago now - but I still think the super-hot dancers are worth the $200 for the 1/2 hour room. The $400 hour room is not nearly as good as it's wide open and offers absolutely no privacy. Remember there is a recession in Vegas, too. The girls come from all over and it costs $$ for airfare and hotels - so they need to make it up on the customers.
The clubs raised the entry fee to $50 for a while - now it's back down to $30 - not all that bad if you're only there once or twice per year. If I want a Bj I'll get an escort - they are a way better value! But for super-hot babes - I still like the Rhino - although perhaps it's changed in the year I've visited.
These days it is NOT a deal to haul yourself all the way to LV just for the "Sin". LV is now primarily a place to go to enjoy big-name Shows and Celebrity restaurateurs AND once you cover that, feel less guilty about including poker and naked girls during lulls in the trip.