Strip Club Changes...and maybe changes in me too
luckyone
Florida
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I have to say that I've always been a bit of a social misfit. Not that I didn't have some good friends but as far as the ladies go, romance has rarely been on the agenda. I'm guessing a good psychologist could have a field day with my life but I'm good enough at analyzing it myself that I doubt I'll ever see one. I guess I've always had a bit of a "Madonna/whore" complex as well as pretty well representing the old Woody Allen line about "not wanting to go to a party that would invite me." Have always divided women into categories and that has kind of worked for me.<br />
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One category was always the "friend," the good girl, the one I might have actually liked. Have always done such a good job of making them my friends that I could usually always rule them out as a potential girlfriend. 'When I've made the mistake of trying to take it to another level, it hasn't ended well. So I substituted. From time to time, I have engaged the service of a "sex worker" of some sort, whether she was a phone sex girl, a webcam girl, an escort or a massage girl. Most of these encounters have been pretty unsatisfying but they've provided an outlet at least. The third category was the stripper/dancer. On one level, she was safe. There was pretty much no chance one of these lovely young ladies was going to be interested in dating me or "doing" me. But it gave me a chance to interact with pretty girls and flirt. And it could pretty much always be taken to another level. For a few dollars, she would get naked and rub herself against me. It was rarely ever more than that and a part of me never wanted it to be. The stripper was (and is) a fantasy. The more I get to know them, the less I think it would be a good idea to be involved with them...or at least most of them.<br />
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Back in the day, the stripper was generally young and hot and unattainable. Occasionally I'd get their real name or some kind of contact information but it was pretty much just a tease and a "come on" and that's pretty much what I wanted. But strippers have changed. There isn't as much money floating around as there used to be and it seems like most girls I see lately are a bit more "used" and a bit less of the "just a hot young girl dancing" type. Now, don't get me wrong, there are still a few places that I can still count on encountering the prototypical stripper but it isn't like it used to be. And there are fewer of them. More girls in their late 20's and 30's (and a few beyond that) and more who have kids and deadbeat baby-daddy's. Oh....and a lot of them are blurring the line between stripper and hooker. And even the line between stripper and friend.<br />
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Oh, and some of those girl "friends" also seem to be blurring the lines I have so carefully drawn in the sand. At least a couple have proven that they are willing to move beyond friend to something more than that. And I find it awkward. And there are more and more dancers who seem willing to be friends. I trade texts and messages online and even the occasional phone call with more than a couple of them. Actually had a friendly lunch "date" with one of them recently. Maybe the anonymity of cell phones and FB and other such things has made it easier and safer for them. Oh, and then there are the strippers who are more than willing to get down and dirty for a very reasonable price. I have at least 3 or 4 of them I could call or text right now and arrange for some OTC action....but I don't. A few have provided extras ITC on occasion and, while that is fun too, it really messes with my demented little system.<br />
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So I still go out and hit the clubs like I always have. And it's a good time. But I find myself less and less welling to buy dances, even though I have more income than I ever have. I tend to gravitate back towards the girls I've known for years, just tipping them onstage or buying them a drink and chatting. Just as I have tended to limit my gambling to my trips out of town, the same now seems to be true with my lap dance fun. Anymore, I spend a hundred bucks on a girl and she wants to "stay in touch" and get together for a "private dance" somewhere. I know for a lot of you, that is exactly what you want and it seems more available than ever. But, now that it is a reality, I'm not sure I really do.<br />
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I guess I just kind of miss things the way they were 10, 15 or 20 years back. And, yes, that is partly because of my own personal issues. I miss clubs full of hot girls who look like they wandered in off of a Motley Crue video and who I knew only hung around because I gave them money. Like going to a movie, they were an escape for a few hours and it was worth it. Now they keep going and making it all complicated for me. If I want the drama of interacting with real women, I can just stay away and interact with the ones I know. (Trust me...most of them have issues too.) And, if I want a whore, there are plenty of them around too.<br />
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Anyway, I'll wrap this up. I've rambled on long enough. I'm genuinely curious about what some of the rest of my strip club brothers think. I'm sure I'm not the only one who just isn't sure what to make of things anymore. I won't go so far as to say it isn't still fun for me....but it is less fun. I don't know. Maybe I'm just getting old.<br type="_moz" />
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Now that I'm older, the dancers are much younger than me. I no longer hold out any expectation that they will view me as a BF candidate. The most I can expect is perhaps Sugar Daddy status. But, you know, that's OK with me. I go to strip clubs to get away from the real world for a while and enjoy a sexual fantasy with a young gal who has a smokin' hot body. I'm too old to have a GFE with a 20 or 30 something girl in the real world. Those days are behind me now. But, for a few bucks, I can relive some of the days gone by.
I often hit the strip clubs in the late afternoon. Looking around the club I notice that many of the men are older, middle aged men just like me. The young, good looking studs get all the action they want for free (or at least they think it's free. Remember guys, nobody rides for free.) The older guys may have lost their youthful good looks, but they've got something the younger guys often lack...$$$CASH. So now, I accept that I have to pay to get a hot 20 yo to give me a lap dance instead of getting some for "free" at the end of a date. Strip clubs are a fast, efficient way to get a little action and still be home by 9 pm. Long gone are the days of chasing tail until the bars close and then getting up bright and early the next morning to go to work. I'll leave that territory to you young guys.
Maybe the dancers haven't changed that much, Luckyone. Maybe it's we who have changed....and perhaps our age and experience make us more realistic about the whole SCE. At least that's the way I see it. I could be wrong....
They sell a fantasy, even the one I have been seeing otc for 2 yr. While it can be great private session photo shoots / sex, at the end of the day, if your cash has run out, they have no use for you. What they do be it stripping / hooking or both is a business. Your merely a customer. There are married onew who play their husband they are the good, faithful wife while they are out hooking with customers they picked up at the SC.
I don't miss the hustle aspect of those days, where in some areas there was so much money chasing the girls that if you weren't spending very large sums of money on a girl then you were nothing more than a club spectator. I also don't miss the blatant scams run by some of the clubs back then, when it could be pulled off with much more ease than today.
Also, back then not only were the girls skilled in the art of seduction, but a % of those girls were also masters in the art of the long con. I saw more then one guy spend himself into bankruptcy chasing the elusive affections of a masterful stripper, where her feelings for him would increase in proportion to his ITC and OTC spending. Cars, jewelry, expensive trips, guys flying in from out of town just to spend time with them, I witnessed a lot more of these things than I would have imagined. I don't miss seeing this either.
The clubs have changed and, with money more scarce, the balance of power has certainly shifted more in favor of the men. I'm just not convinced that all of the changes are so bad.
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Maybe you should try just working it into the conversation with dancers early on some of the things you've said here. The airheads may not get the message, but many dancers are very adept at seeming to be exactly what you want. But say it more like "10 or 15 years ago there were more dancers who where incredibly hot-looking like you are...".
are quite different. In my area thirty years ago, there was no such thing as a lap dance, instead the
customer bought the dancer a drink, received a happy ending, then gave a her a $20 tip. The girls were
young, very young. I had OTC relationships with several and it was quite routine. The price ranged from
$50 to $100 and they were mostly teenagers, my preference. I dated one from age 16 to 28, but that
was unusual. In those days owners looked the other way and bouncers always seemed absent when the
action was going on. All of that is in sharp contrast to what I see going on in the current environment.
Admittedly, I am much older now and the "ymmv" factor may come into play, but then and now it is all
about money and I don't think the age thing matters that much. I never got into the fantasy aspect that
so many talk about.
It is good to see the exchange of ideas and experiences. That is what the forum is all about.